Spiritual/Metaphysical

Find Your Truth: Re-Write the Messages That You Erroneously Learned in Childhood

June 11, 2022 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Many of the inaccuracies of your life were learned during childhood and especially the middle school years. I know it was true for me, and I have spoken to many pre-teens living it, adolescents learning that they can let it go, and adults who didn’t realize how many misrepresentations came from their childhoods and middle school/junior high years who are now learning to recover from these falsehoods by reframing their Truth.

Having had those experiences has helped to shape the type of work that I do. In fact, one of the most rewarding educational experiences I had was to teach classes of middle school students what to do if they encountered bullies. I taught them empowerment, how to use their voice, and to utilize physical, verbal, and energetic boundaries. (If you would like to learn these tips, read my article: Empower Your Child. All the concepts in this article can also be utilized by teens and adults.)

But let’s come back to those inaccuracies. What do I mean by that? Pay attention to the messages that you say within your own mind about yourself in any given day. It’s amazing how most of us would never say those things to another person, especially someone that we care about, yet we speak them to ourselves – in the silence of our minds – every single day. I’m suggesting that you pay attention to those messages, so that you might confront them with a healthier and more accurate viewpoint.

Here’s how it tends to happen: You started your life connected to ‘all that is’ without preconceived notions about others or yourself. In the beginning, there was pure joy and love. By your preschool years parents and teachers began the socializing process with messages like: ‘take turns’, ‘sit still’, ‘be quiet’, ‘don’t do that’, ‘be polite’, etc. Unfortunately, you may have interpreted this to mean that you were fundamentally ‘not ok’.

If you struggled in elementary school academically or socially you may have internalized the ‘not okay’ message further, even if no one was judging or comparing. Subsequently, middle-school [Read more…]

Transformation: Let’s Not Miss Our Opportunity

March 23, 2022 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

A little over two years ago in March 2020, much of our world came to a screeching halt because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Even during this frightening time many observed clear skies and quiet roads, and soon there was a renewed appreciation for educators, health providers, and the many folks who kept supplies in our stores and provided services to us all. There was gratitude for the efforts we took to stay connected to each other. I even appreciated the unique opportunities to enjoy theater and concerts online. During this time I found myself seeing, and seeking out, even the smallest ways to appreciate what was good around me as I found opportunities to support those who had greater need than myself.

I found that during this time there was a quietness within, and many took advantage. I certainly did. That first summer (and honestly since then as well), I have found myself undergoing massive personal transformations that have led to more subtle changes in my professional work. During this time, I have also witnessed the transformations of so many others: clients, colleagues, strangers, friends, and family. This has been a time for transformation, and it wasn’t just for us personally. [Read more…]

Reflections on Death and Grief

July 26, 2021 By Judy Lipson

(Grief, Near Death Experiences, Death Doulas, d/D Death)

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

GRIEF

As a reader of my newsletter, you know that I am a fan of the work of Karla McLaren and her writings about emotions. A client recently brought one of McLaren’s articles to my attention, and after reading it I found I had a lot of reflections. I hope that you will read the article, and then my reflections. https://karlamclaren.com/grief-the-deep-river-of-the-soul/

I believe the river of souls is that deepest place of ourselves, of each of us, the part that we all have in common: that depth in each of our souls. That part that knows, and feels, and experiences.

In the article she also mentions the river of tears. I suspect this is a metaphor for that place to which all grievers go. That very deep, dark, hard place where you feel heavy and the best you can do is drop. And wail. However, most of our society does not allow that, let alone nurture and support it.

I do like the idea of the altar, especially for complicated and complex grief, because it can be so incredibly overwhelming and all-consuming for the body and the being. And I don’t think she means to insinuate that grief should be over in a matter of a couple of months. But I think her technique, and suggestions for this altar, could be helpful so that the being knows that the intense grief happens here, ceremonially and in real time. And this would allow for the option that when some time passes and you want to live life, while still grieving, you have a way of knowing that this is the place where it can take place safely.

It gives permission to really let the body and the feelings completely release, which is how grief heals. She talks about the need to really go down. To that place that most people don’t want to go to. That place that many in grief have found themselves in, numerous times. That place where so many are terrified to be, to feel. And it seems, within our culture, that to experience this depth, in the days and weeks after, would be so much easier, because our culture might accept a deep grief response, but not after a “given time”. [Read more…]

T/t Trauma

May 23, 2021 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I had never intended to work with folks who deal with significant traumas, so when my colleague and friend suggested that I accompany her to see Bessel van der Kolk who was speaking in Ann Arbor on trauma, I insistently told her no, several times. But Barb can be very persistent and so I signed up for this great opportunity. I can’t thank her enough! This is one of those trainings that has greatly informed my work with Sensitives.

Dr. van der Kolk taught the group about the common responses that individuals frequently experience emotionally, relationally, and especially physically as a result of their traumatic experience. Because of his information, I suddenly had this ah-hah about the Sensitives that I work with and recognized how their experiences can be understood in the context of trauma that we recognize professionally and as a society. (I now refer to major illness, assault, accident, war, abuse, and neglect as the big T traumas). This information has informed my work ever since, and is key to what I teach my families, my clients, and professional groups about Sensitives.

Sensitives are those who are highly attuned to one or more of the 5 senses (taste, touch, see, hear, smell) and are typically also very intuitive, empathic and energy-aware. At the time of that conference, I already knew of the strong sensory awareness in the autistic population and was seeing it in folks who often experience ADHD and/or anxiety. I began to see the students and adults that I worked with as being on this sensory continuum of Sensitives. I focused on identifying these folks and helping them and others to focus on their strengths while mitigating their weaknesses. At the time I had only a few techniques to address the challenges for Sensitives. These included explaining the situation to their loved ones and their teachers so they can ‘walk a mile in their shoes’; recommending the removal of fluorescent lights, using natural lighting, and generally dimming room lights to address light sensitivity; and teaching the individuals how to modulate their empathic gifts.

Dr. van der Kolk explained [Read more…]

Coming out of Sanctuary

March 30, 2021 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I talk to a lot of people – friends, colleagues, and clients – and I watch the patterns of conversation. Over the last few months, we have talked a lot about the shift away from social isolation toward finding ease in returning to a more active way of life (while maintaining masks, hygiene, and proper distancing as recommended by the CDC). Initially, these conversations were to provide preparation for when that time would come.

Recently, more adults have received their COVID-19 vaccines, and students and staff have returned to school. These conversations have now taken on more of a timely need and an urgency.

Not surprisingly, a number of people are delighted to return to activities and events that are more reminiscent of times pre-pandemic. Others have expressed that they have felt quite comfortable with some, or many, aspects of the life that they have experienced over this last year and are struggling to make the shift.

This article is written for this latter group. If you are one of these people who looks back at this last year with a partial or complete thought of: please don’t mess with me now! then this article is for you. If you have always (or are now) struggling with general anxiety or social anxiety, this is for you. If you are not personally resonating with this concept, I still encourage you to read it so you can better understand your students, colleagues, friends, and family members. I’ve also included some tips to help you or them to venture out.

WHAT WE ARE EXPERIENCING

No two people are the same so not everyone will describe it the same way, but here is what I’ve been hearing, and it may not be what you expect. What you probably think is that folks are scared of contracting COVID-19, but actually most people do NOT quote their concern of developing COVID as their primary reason for their reluctance to venture back to activities. [Read more…]

Hope

January 24, 2021 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It seems that everyone I was talking to, or reading on social media, was focused on the completion of 2020 and the hopefulness for better days! In December, I had a conversation with a client about navigating the unknown. She pointed out to me that there can be a myriad of possibilities of outcomes (that can be viewed through the lens of acceptance, curiosity, and even willingness). At the time I don’t think either of us imagined that we would see such a stark difference of possibilities within the span of two weeks in January.

Like you, I was glued to the news (print and TV) on January 6 when the insurrection at the Capitol in DC occurred. I was frightened not only for all those in Congress on that day, but also of the realization of how our democracy had become so fragile.

There was a lot of news in the next days, but let me jump ahead two weeks to January 20, Inauguration Day. Everything related to the inauguration of President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris filled me with hope:

Their demeanor
President Biden’s speech
The presence of three previous presidents and a vice president, representing BOTH parties
The outgoing vice president’s participation in the United States’ democratic process of the peaceful transfer of power
The many entertainers who honored the events
THAT SPEECH by our youngest poet laureate, Amanda Gorman
The many firsts: South Asian descent, female, Jewish, Second Gentleman, etc.
The virtual celebratory inaugural activities that included messages of hope, inclusion, science, caring for each other, and amazing and pertinent lyrics
Those in attendance following the necessary protocols to minimize the spread of COVID-19
And the fact that it all occurred safely!

Now let’s talk about the entirety of this time. [Read more…]

My Spiral Story

December 19, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

When I recently updated my logo, I returned to the image of my original spiral. It seems appropriate now to explain the story of that spiral and its significance in my life and work.

This story starts several decades ago when I was learning to reduce my anxiety. Knowing me now, you wouldn’t even believe how anxious I was as a youth and early(ier) adult! I was taught breathing and calming exercises, and then meditation. Even that was frightening for this anxious young woman. But little by little over the course of a year I began to let go and allow my body and mind to relax as I returned to my roots as an intuitive empath.

Eventually I began to notice visualizations in these early meditations. The shape was always the same – a spiral. It always had the same direction and the same number of whorls. Eventually, I tried to do research to find out more, but if you can believe this, there was very little about spirals. Without the internet (or maybe it had just begun), there were no links to spiritual messages. There were books, but they only talked about spirals in nature (i.e.: the nautilus shell, plants, etc.) and mathematics (i.e.: the Fibonacci spiral). However, none of that felt satisfying to understand why I was seeing spirals, and this specific spiral, in repeated meditations.

Eventually, I began to experience more diverse visualizations in my meditations. Yet I always remembered those spirals. THAT spiral.

Fast forward to February of 2002 when I opened my private practice, Spiral Wisdom LLC. In the year prior, while I tried to develop a name, I remembered (how could I forget!!) my link to spirals and incorporated it in my business name. I thought this was a full circle moment, but that was yet to come.

My original logo had a very raw image of my spiral, so in 2010 I worked with a graphic designer who suggested a really cool logo that incorporated a spiral into a hand. I accepted it, and even loved it, but I have to be honest that I always missed MY spiral.

In 2012 I traveled to Sedona for a retreat to acknowledge the significance of the date, 12/12/12. As part of our events, we traveled to a local petroglyph site (dated 500 CE – 1425 CE). Our docent was discussing the significance and meanings of the various carvings on the large wall. Most of these carvings were very elaborate and could be measured in feet (see photo below). [Read more…]

Your Moral Compass

September 20, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

My writings here are intended to wake people up. Today I especially want to awaken your heart and soul. As I share some of my observations later in this article, I hope that you will listen with your heart and spirit.

It is never my intention to write politically. For me, it’s about love and gratitude and safety and acceptance and empathy and oneness and diversity and inclusion. It’s how I view and define humanity, and most importantly it’s the compass that I use to identify who and what can help us to become the best that we can collectively be. So if you see political overtones with my comments seeming to lean to one direction or individual or another, please know that it is not my intention to be political, but rather to describe my personal experiences and musings.

Let me share some personal reflections over the last 15 years, which are meant to be descriptive and not political. [Read more…]

Discomfort and Equanimity in the Era of Covid

August 16, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

This pandemic is getting so difficult for so many! This is really not surprising! It’s been nearly 6 months since many began their sheltering-in-place practices. When the weather got nice, and school was over for “summer vacation”, there was an especially acute longing to get back to life – as we knew it. After all, summer is that glorious time when we travel with our families, by ourselves, or with special friends to escape the harried life of work and home responsibilities. Summer has become equivalent for many of us as the time for escape. But instead of getting the green light to take our escape, we were met with resistance. Some saw the resistance coming from the CDC, or their governmental leaders, while some recognized that this is a result of the impact of the novel coronavirus. Regardless, many see this as a time when one’s desires are being thwarted. And we don’t like that!!

In all my years of talking to people I’ve realized that one’s ability to shift and adapt varies. Actually, I will rephrase that to say one’s willingness to shift and adapt varies! One way to improve your adaptability is through equanimity. I’ve written about it previously, but I want to discuss it again in the context of COVID-19, and all that it is revealing to us socially, politically, environmentally, financially, educationally, medically, etc, etc.

I’d like to invite you to take a few introspective moments and look at “being uncomfortable”. This is not about justification that you have a right to your thought or feeling. We’re going deeper than that. Do you even have an awareness of the discomforting thought, feeling, or action? Or have you been so intent on avoiding the discomfort that you hadn’t even sat with it long enough to recognize it occurring? Identify what drives you, what troubles you, what ultimately makes you uncomfortable. In other words, what have you been avoiding or running from?

Thoughts: i.e., “I don’t want there to be a pandemic.” “There really isn’t anything to be afraid of or react to.” “People aren’t going to tell me what I can or can’t do.” “I deserve this …… (vacation, experience, etc).” Those are only some of the possible thoughts that may have led to your discomfort. What are yours?
Feelings: Anger and fear are the main emotions that people discuss. But I encourage you to go deeper. Is there frustration? Grief? Loneliness? Anxiety? Worry? Sadness? A sense of betrayal or injustice? Disappointment? Agitation? Feeling misunderstood? What feeling(s) are you experiencing? And have you been running from them?
Actions: For some people, this is the easiest route to then access the rest. What action have you been taking that has provided you the opportunity to not have to feel the uncomfortable emotion, or think the uncomfortable thought, that you identified above? For instance, these are two extreme positions, but do you go into public with no consideration of the CDC recommendations? Do you stay home in your bubble when it is not medically required? What actions might you be taking that provide you an escape to avoid feeling the uncomfortable emotions or thoughts?

Now I would like to invite you to look at all of this a bit differently. [Read more…]

Seeking Stability Within

July 29, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Many of you are finding yourselves encountering corona fatigue – tired of managing protocols, social distancing and the many features of social isolation that have been brought about by this pandemic. And with no complete let-up in sight, folks are tired of continuing the protocols that they had found themselves maintaining just days or weeks ago. You, on the other hand, may be an individual who has decided that you still want to maintain certain protocols, and are feeling out-voted or shamed for maintaining your beliefs and practices.

Additionally, many citizens are experiencing a sense of instability, because not only are you dealing with the pandemic, but also the sense of insecurity when observing the seeming collapse (or major changes) to various systems and prior beliefs. For some this is observed, for others of you this is day-to-day living.

We are watching as society asks the necessary questions that could lead to changes in our health-care, insurance and educational systems, and the effect that all this is having on our jobs, businesses, and the economy. We, in the United States, are also being asked to assess the ways that people of color, women, and under-represented individuals have been, and currently are, being treated. Regardless of which “side” you see yourself on, these occurrences can really rock one’s center, further leading to a sense of instability.

These are hard times. And we are reminded frequently, just living through this, of how this is unprecedented.

During conversations regarding these situations, I have encouraged my clients to look within for their stability:

What are the values that you hold in importance?
What are the practices that you deem vital?

Years ago I heard author Carolyn Myss discuss the roots of peer expectations. Just as a school of fish swim together to feel protected by their numbers (indeed, only the outer ones are most likely to be eaten), so too do people tend to want to be like the group and not stick out. And according to her, this begins with the teachings by our family of origin. However, societal practices actually evolve by thinking differently than others, and exploring these new ideas.

Are you willing to be different from your pod? What experiences have you already had standing amongst others who hold differing viewpoints? A few months ago I read Brené Brown’s Braving the Wilderness. She writes about the importance of allowing yourself to stand in the wilderness (feeling alone and unprotected), while holding to your beliefs and values. This doesn’t have to be a raucous or threatening stand, and one needn’t feel threatened either. Standing in the wilderness means believing in something enough to allow yourself to feel vulnerable, and not be deterred by others’ actions or words. The result is that you experience your own power – your own stability – and are less likely to need to look outside yourself for your security.

I hope that you will consider these words and practices as you navigate these turbulent times. Remember, you needn’t always look outside yourself. Your stability is within you.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Find Your Truth: Re-Write the Messages That You Erroneously Learned in Childhood

Transformation: Let’s Not Miss Our Opportunity

Reflections on Death and Grief

T/t Trauma

Hope

My Spiral Story

Your Moral Compass

Discomfort and Equanimity in the Era of Covid

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