Transformation

Find Your Truth: Re-Write the Messages That You Erroneously Learned in Childhood

June 11, 2022 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Many of the inaccuracies of your life were learned during childhood and especially the middle school years. I know it was true for me, and I have spoken to many pre-teens living it, adolescents learning that they can let it go, and adults who didn’t realize how many misrepresentations came from their childhoods and middle school/junior high years who are now learning to recover from these falsehoods by reframing their Truth.

Having had those experiences has helped to shape the type of work that I do. In fact, one of the most rewarding educational experiences I had was to teach classes of middle school students what to do if they encountered bullies. I taught them empowerment, how to use their voice, and to utilize physical, verbal, and energetic boundaries. (If you would like to learn these tips, read my article: Empower Your Child. All the concepts in this article can also be utilized by teens and adults.)

But let’s come back to those inaccuracies. What do I mean by that? Pay attention to the messages that you say within your own mind about yourself in any given day. It’s amazing how most of us would never say those things to another person, especially someone that we care about, yet we speak them to ourselves – in the silence of our minds – every single day. I’m suggesting that you pay attention to those messages, so that you might confront them with a healthier and more accurate viewpoint.

Here’s how it tends to happen: You started your life connected to ‘all that is’ without preconceived notions about others or yourself. In the beginning, there was pure joy and love. By your preschool years parents and teachers began the socializing process with messages like: ‘take turns’, ‘sit still’, ‘be quiet’, ‘don’t do that’, ‘be polite’, etc. Unfortunately, you may have interpreted this to mean that you were fundamentally ‘not ok’.

If you struggled in elementary school academically or socially you may have internalized the ‘not okay’ message further, even if no one was judging or comparing. Subsequently, middle-school [Read more…]

Transformation: Let’s Not Miss Our Opportunity

March 23, 2022 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

A little over two years ago in March 2020, much of our world came to a screeching halt because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Even during this frightening time many observed clear skies and quiet roads, and soon there was a renewed appreciation for educators, health providers, and the many folks who kept supplies in our stores and provided services to us all. There was gratitude for the efforts we took to stay connected to each other. I even appreciated the unique opportunities to enjoy theater and concerts online. During this time I found myself seeing, and seeking out, even the smallest ways to appreciate what was good around me as I found opportunities to support those who had greater need than myself.

I found that during this time there was a quietness within, and many took advantage. I certainly did. That first summer (and honestly since then as well), I have found myself undergoing massive personal transformations that have led to more subtle changes in my professional work. During this time, I have also witnessed the transformations of so many others: clients, colleagues, strangers, friends, and family. This has been a time for transformation, and it wasn’t just for us personally. [Read more…]

Coming out of Sanctuary

March 30, 2021 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I talk to a lot of people – friends, colleagues, and clients – and I watch the patterns of conversation. Over the last few months, we have talked a lot about the shift away from social isolation toward finding ease in returning to a more active way of life (while maintaining masks, hygiene, and proper distancing as recommended by the CDC). Initially, these conversations were to provide preparation for when that time would come.

Recently, more adults have received their COVID-19 vaccines, and students and staff have returned to school. These conversations have now taken on more of a timely need and an urgency.

Not surprisingly, a number of people are delighted to return to activities and events that are more reminiscent of times pre-pandemic. Others have expressed that they have felt quite comfortable with some, or many, aspects of the life that they have experienced over this last year and are struggling to make the shift.

This article is written for this latter group. If you are one of these people who looks back at this last year with a partial or complete thought of: please don’t mess with me now! then this article is for you. If you have always (or are now) struggling with general anxiety or social anxiety, this is for you. If you are not personally resonating with this concept, I still encourage you to read it so you can better understand your students, colleagues, friends, and family members. I’ve also included some tips to help you or them to venture out.

WHAT WE ARE EXPERIENCING

No two people are the same so not everyone will describe it the same way, but here is what I’ve been hearing, and it may not be what you expect. What you probably think is that folks are scared of contracting COVID-19, but actually most people do NOT quote their concern of developing COVID as their primary reason for their reluctance to venture back to activities. [Read more…]

It’s Time to Create

February 20, 2021 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
(From ‘Turn! Turn! Turn!’ by The Birds)

When I look back at 2020, I primarily see the breaking-down aspect that is stated in this lyric. Breaking down reminds us of destruction, which is defined as: the action or process of causing so much damage to something that it no longer exists or cannot be repaired. Though that feels like a really bad thing, and like you, I often felt overwhelmed or distraught during 2020, I realize that the process can have very positive outcomes. We are dismantling the previous paradigms in order to determine what aspects should stay, what should go, and what should change dramatically. I am actually quite thankful for the dismantling of so many of our systems and beliefs, though it was challenging to observe and live through.

2021 has arrived, and now it’s time to build up! It’s human nature to long for the continuation of what was and wait for (or force) its return. I urge you instead to take some calming breaths and think back to the months and years before 2020 when you actually may have longed for some type of change for yourself, for our country, or for the global collective. I encourage you in the upcoming months to look at aspects of your own life and of our global society to determine what practices and beliefs have become outdated, stale, or are now recognized as wrong. Is it time for you to create something?

This may seem like it requires great courage. I believe you have that courage to begin the creation of what you have always sought. Think back to previous events when great change occurred, particularly when it wasn’t originally your idea – this might be a break-up, a job change (or loss), or a move. Whatever that situation, remember how frightened, ungrounded, and lost you likely felt. Then weeks or months later it’s not uncommon to be able to look back on that original event and recognize the silver-lining that resulted.

I believe we are in the midst of one of these situations. All around us we can see the breakdown of our institutions. And that can feel really scary, especially when we don’t know when the process will end, or how it will look.

Besides watching systems change so significantly, it’s all happening during a pandemic. The novel coronavirus, COVID-19, is affecting many people in new ways. New information comes to light, the vaccines are becoming available, but the distribution moves slower than most individuals would prefer. You may find yourself wondering things like: How will this new information affect me? How long will these recommendations last? When and how will my activities alter? When will this end? Will this end? Will my life ever return to normal?

Here we are in unprecedented territory! We are uncertain of what is to come, how it will affect us, and how to navigate the entirety of it. I want to encourage each of you to focus on a few concepts as we approach these “unprecedented” significant changes. Let’s start by drawing our awareness to the complexity of the term. The definition of unprecedented is never done or known before. It relates to all the things happening to us and around us. Since it has never occurred before, I don’t think it is reasonable to assume that there is a distinct roadmap to get through it. I don’t bring this up to frighten, but rather to open your awareness to realizing that your roadmap won’t be found by looking backward.

Here are some considerations as you look within and forward: [Read more…]

Hope

January 24, 2021 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It seems that everyone I was talking to, or reading on social media, was focused on the completion of 2020 and the hopefulness for better days! In December, I had a conversation with a client about navigating the unknown. She pointed out to me that there can be a myriad of possibilities of outcomes (that can be viewed through the lens of acceptance, curiosity, and even willingness). At the time I don’t think either of us imagined that we would see such a stark difference of possibilities within the span of two weeks in January.

Like you, I was glued to the news (print and TV) on January 6 when the insurrection at the Capitol in DC occurred. I was frightened not only for all those in Congress on that day, but also of the realization of how our democracy had become so fragile.

There was a lot of news in the next days, but let me jump ahead two weeks to January 20, Inauguration Day. Everything related to the inauguration of President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris filled me with hope:

Their demeanor
President Biden’s speech
The presence of three previous presidents and a vice president, representing BOTH parties
The outgoing vice president’s participation in the United States’ democratic process of the peaceful transfer of power
The many entertainers who honored the events
THAT SPEECH by our youngest poet laureate, Amanda Gorman
The many firsts: South Asian descent, female, Jewish, Second Gentleman, etc.
The virtual celebratory inaugural activities that included messages of hope, inclusion, science, caring for each other, and amazing and pertinent lyrics
Those in attendance following the necessary protocols to minimize the spread of COVID-19
And the fact that it all occurred safely!

Now let’s talk about the entirety of this time. [Read more…]

My Spiral Story

December 19, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

When I recently updated my logo, I returned to the image of my original spiral. It seems appropriate now to explain the story of that spiral and its significance in my life and work.

This story starts several decades ago when I was learning to reduce my anxiety. Knowing me now, you wouldn’t even believe how anxious I was as a youth and early(ier) adult! I was taught breathing and calming exercises, and then meditation. Even that was frightening for this anxious young woman. But little by little over the course of a year I began to let go and allow my body and mind to relax as I returned to my roots as an intuitive empath.

Eventually I began to notice visualizations in these early meditations. The shape was always the same – a spiral. It always had the same direction and the same number of whorls. Eventually, I tried to do research to find out more, but if you can believe this, there was very little about spirals. Without the internet (or maybe it had just begun), there were no links to spiritual messages. There were books, but they only talked about spirals in nature (i.e.: the nautilus shell, plants, etc.) and mathematics (i.e.: the Fibonacci spiral). However, none of that felt satisfying to understand why I was seeing spirals, and this specific spiral, in repeated meditations.

Eventually, I began to experience more diverse visualizations in my meditations. Yet I always remembered those spirals. THAT spiral.

Fast forward to February of 2002 when I opened my private practice, Spiral Wisdom LLC. In the year prior, while I tried to develop a name, I remembered (how could I forget!!) my link to spirals and incorporated it in my business name. I thought this was a full circle moment, but that was yet to come.

My original logo had a very raw image of my spiral, so in 2010 I worked with a graphic designer who suggested a really cool logo that incorporated a spiral into a hand. I accepted it, and even loved it, but I have to be honest that I always missed MY spiral.

In 2012 I traveled to Sedona for a retreat to acknowledge the significance of the date, 12/12/12. As part of our events, we traveled to a local petroglyph site (dated 500 CE – 1425 CE). Our docent was discussing the significance and meanings of the various carvings on the large wall. Most of these carvings were very elaborate and could be measured in feet (see photo below). [Read more…]

Your Moral Compass

September 20, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

My writings here are intended to wake people up. Today I especially want to awaken your heart and soul. As I share some of my observations later in this article, I hope that you will listen with your heart and spirit.

It is never my intention to write politically. For me, it’s about love and gratitude and safety and acceptance and empathy and oneness and diversity and inclusion. It’s how I view and define humanity, and most importantly it’s the compass that I use to identify who and what can help us to become the best that we can collectively be. So if you see political overtones with my comments seeming to lean to one direction or individual or another, please know that it is not my intention to be political, but rather to describe my personal experiences and musings.

Let me share some personal reflections over the last 15 years, which are meant to be descriptive and not political. [Read more…]

Discomfort and Equanimity in the Era of Covid

August 16, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

This pandemic is getting so difficult for so many! This is really not surprising! It’s been nearly 6 months since many began their sheltering-in-place practices. When the weather got nice, and school was over for “summer vacation”, there was an especially acute longing to get back to life – as we knew it. After all, summer is that glorious time when we travel with our families, by ourselves, or with special friends to escape the harried life of work and home responsibilities. Summer has become equivalent for many of us as the time for escape. But instead of getting the green light to take our escape, we were met with resistance. Some saw the resistance coming from the CDC, or their governmental leaders, while some recognized that this is a result of the impact of the novel coronavirus. Regardless, many see this as a time when one’s desires are being thwarted. And we don’t like that!!

In all my years of talking to people I’ve realized that one’s ability to shift and adapt varies. Actually, I will rephrase that to say one’s willingness to shift and adapt varies! One way to improve your adaptability is through equanimity. I’ve written about it previously, but I want to discuss it again in the context of COVID-19, and all that it is revealing to us socially, politically, environmentally, financially, educationally, medically, etc, etc.

I’d like to invite you to take a few introspective moments and look at “being uncomfortable”. This is not about justification that you have a right to your thought or feeling. We’re going deeper than that. Do you even have an awareness of the discomforting thought, feeling, or action? Or have you been so intent on avoiding the discomfort that you hadn’t even sat with it long enough to recognize it occurring? Identify what drives you, what troubles you, what ultimately makes you uncomfortable. In other words, what have you been avoiding or running from?

Thoughts: i.e., “I don’t want there to be a pandemic.” “There really isn’t anything to be afraid of or react to.” “People aren’t going to tell me what I can or can’t do.” “I deserve this …… (vacation, experience, etc).” Those are only some of the possible thoughts that may have led to your discomfort. What are yours?
Feelings: Anger and fear are the main emotions that people discuss. But I encourage you to go deeper. Is there frustration? Grief? Loneliness? Anxiety? Worry? Sadness? A sense of betrayal or injustice? Disappointment? Agitation? Feeling misunderstood? What feeling(s) are you experiencing? And have you been running from them?
Actions: For some people, this is the easiest route to then access the rest. What action have you been taking that has provided you the opportunity to not have to feel the uncomfortable emotion, or think the uncomfortable thought, that you identified above? For instance, these are two extreme positions, but do you go into public with no consideration of the CDC recommendations? Do you stay home in your bubble when it is not medically required? What actions might you be taking that provide you an escape to avoid feeling the uncomfortable emotions or thoughts?

Now I would like to invite you to look at all of this a bit differently. [Read more…]

Seeking Stability Within

July 29, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Many of you are finding yourselves encountering corona fatigue – tired of managing protocols, social distancing and the many features of social isolation that have been brought about by this pandemic. And with no complete let-up in sight, folks are tired of continuing the protocols that they had found themselves maintaining just days or weeks ago. You, on the other hand, may be an individual who has decided that you still want to maintain certain protocols, and are feeling out-voted or shamed for maintaining your beliefs and practices.

Additionally, many citizens are experiencing a sense of instability, because not only are you dealing with the pandemic, but also the sense of insecurity when observing the seeming collapse (or major changes) to various systems and prior beliefs. For some this is observed, for others of you this is day-to-day living.

We are watching as society asks the necessary questions that could lead to changes in our health-care, insurance and educational systems, and the effect that all this is having on our jobs, businesses, and the economy. We, in the United States, are also being asked to assess the ways that people of color, women, and under-represented individuals have been, and currently are, being treated. Regardless of which “side” you see yourself on, these occurrences can really rock one’s center, further leading to a sense of instability.

These are hard times. And we are reminded frequently, just living through this, of how this is unprecedented.

During conversations regarding these situations, I have encouraged my clients to look within for their stability:

What are the values that you hold in importance?
What are the practices that you deem vital?

Years ago I heard author Carolyn Myss discuss the roots of peer expectations. Just as a school of fish swim together to feel protected by their numbers (indeed, only the outer ones are most likely to be eaten), so too do people tend to want to be like the group and not stick out. And according to her, this begins with the teachings by our family of origin. However, societal practices actually evolve by thinking differently than others, and exploring these new ideas.

Are you willing to be different from your pod? What experiences have you already had standing amongst others who hold differing viewpoints? A few months ago I read Brené Brown’s Braving the Wilderness. She writes about the importance of allowing yourself to stand in the wilderness (feeling alone and unprotected), while holding to your beliefs and values. This doesn’t have to be a raucous or threatening stand, and one needn’t feel threatened either. Standing in the wilderness means believing in something enough to allow yourself to feel vulnerable, and not be deterred by others’ actions or words. The result is that you experience your own power – your own stability – and are less likely to need to look outside yourself for your security.

I hope that you will consider these words and practices as you navigate these turbulent times. Remember, you needn’t always look outside yourself. Your stability is within you.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Transformation – Resiliency

May 31, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Many professionals describe resilience as the ability of a child or individual to respond successfully to their life’s challenges.

Do you know people who have faced repeated adversity yet live a happy, successful life? People who come to mind include Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, Oprah (poverty and abuse) and child abuse survivor Dave Pelzer (author of A Child Called It). Resiliency is an individual’s ability to cope with stress and adversity by bouncing back. Though often assumed to be a magic trait that you have or you don’t, it is now recognized as something that can be developed.

And right now, during the novel coronavirus pandemic, people are talking about resilience with regularity.

The following are appropriate for you or your children:

Develop your decision-making skills, assertiveness, independence, impulse control, and problem solving.
Have a sense of humor. Laugh in the face of adversity by enjoying funny jokes and movies.
Improve your confidence by acknowledging what you are good at and valuing your self-worth.
Increase your coping resources such as nutrition, exercise and meditation to reduce stress as well as increase resilience.
Share your troubles with friends and professionals for solutions, resources and perspective.
Be grateful for what you do have and appreciate the simple things in life.
Take action, no matter how small.
Be of service to others. Happiness and well-being are enhanced when you engage in an act of kindness.

Recognize that most of life’s hardships are temporary. When you can’t change something outside yourself, even a life-changing event can be viewed differently by changing your internal response to the event. [Read more…]

Find Your Truth: Re-Write the Messages That You Erroneously Learned in Childhood

Transformation: Let’s Not Miss Our Opportunity

It’s Time to Create

Hope

My Spiral Story

Your Moral Compass

Discomfort and Equanimity in the Era of Covid

Transformation – Resiliency

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