sensitives

AUTISM ACCEPTANCE

March 19, 2022 By Judy Lipson

Let’s All Strive to Move from Autism Awareness to Autism Acceptance!

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I hope that one of the reasons that you follow my work is to continue to understand various ‘differences’ from a more expansive view. This article is about autism. It’s when we understand the “why” of something that we can truly learn to accept it for what it is. Autism is not a condition to cure, but rather it is a series of conditions that causes or allows the individual to interact with their inner and outer environment differently. Sometimes this brings about challenges, but that’s most frequently due to our rigid societal expectations and assumptions. Let’s all learn to recognize the aspects, and see the gifts that are part of this spectrum, so that we no longer view it as a “disorder”.

Q: What is autism?
A: Autism isn’t one condition. It’s a collection of related conditions that are so intertwined and so impossible to pick apart, that professionals have stopped trying. If you only check one or two boxes, then they don’t call it autism, they call it something else. Here’s a graphic of the various aspects. Remember that autism is a spectrum condition. Some individuals with autism (sometimes referred to as autistics) have less of one of these issues, or it may no longer be apparent. According to the DSM-5, autism is a life-long condition that can ease in intensity and life-challenging ways, but it doesn’t go away. And remember: If you’ve met one person with autism, then you’ve met ONE person with autism.

Q: Is the person ‘an individual with autism’ or ‘autistic’?
A: That’s actually a good question and you will get differing responses. Initially we referred to these folks as autistics. Then perspectives about disabilities changed and it was considered most appropriate to see them as individuals who are not defined by autism, but rather who have autism (recognizing that they have many other facets to define them). I work with a lot of folks on the spectrum, from many age groups, and am frequently told that they recognize how autism informs their daily lives, and thus very positively and proudly define themselves as autistic (along with their other descriptors of spouse, parent, employee, artist, writer, etc.)

Q: I hear that it is harder to identify girls and women on the spectrum.
A: It does seem to be more difficult since females present differently than males.

All the literature, clients that I talk to, and my experiences with my own clients acknowledge that recognizing and diagnosing autism in those who are born female can be more challenging. Some believe it’s because many girls seem to intrinsically find it easier to mimic peers as well as others’ socialization. Additionally, they are less likely to have the same types of areas of interests as their male counterparts, so their identity on the spectrum is less recognized.

My intention in this section is to provide you with a variety of links that can better inform you. I hope you find this information beneficial. I encourage you to reach out with questions, and to let me know about any professionals that you have met who are adept at diagnosing ASD in the AFAB (assigned female at birth) population.

From the article, Why Do Many Autistic Girls Go Undiagnosed? by the Child Mind Institute: [Read more…]

T/t Trauma

May 23, 2021 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I had never intended to work with folks who deal with significant traumas, so when my colleague and friend suggested that I accompany her to see Bessel van der Kolk who was speaking in Ann Arbor on trauma, I insistently told her no, several times. But Barb can be very persistent and so I signed up for this great opportunity. I can’t thank her enough! This is one of those trainings that has greatly informed my work with Sensitives.

Dr. van der Kolk taught the group about the common responses that individuals frequently experience emotionally, relationally, and especially physically as a result of their traumatic experience. Because of his information, I suddenly had this ah-hah about the Sensitives that I work with and recognized how their experiences can be understood in the context of trauma that we recognize professionally and as a society. (I now refer to major illness, assault, accident, war, abuse, and neglect as the big T traumas). This information has informed my work ever since, and is key to what I teach my families, my clients, and professional groups about Sensitives.

Sensitives are those who are highly attuned to one or more of the 5 senses (taste, touch, see, hear, smell) and are typically also very intuitive, empathic and energy-aware. At the time of that conference, I already knew of the strong sensory awareness in the autistic population and was seeing it in folks who often experience ADHD and/or anxiety. I began to see the students and adults that I worked with as being on this sensory continuum of Sensitives. I focused on identifying these folks and helping them and others to focus on their strengths while mitigating their weaknesses. At the time I had only a few techniques to address the challenges for Sensitives. These included explaining the situation to their loved ones and their teachers so they can ‘walk a mile in their shoes’; recommending the removal of fluorescent lights, using natural lighting, and generally dimming room lights to address light sensitivity; and teaching the individuals how to modulate their empathic gifts.

Dr. van der Kolk explained [Read more…]

Coming out of Sanctuary

March 30, 2021 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I talk to a lot of people – friends, colleagues, and clients – and I watch the patterns of conversation. Over the last few months, we have talked a lot about the shift away from social isolation toward finding ease in returning to a more active way of life (while maintaining masks, hygiene, and proper distancing as recommended by the CDC). Initially, these conversations were to provide preparation for when that time would come.

Recently, more adults have received their COVID-19 vaccines, and students and staff have returned to school. These conversations have now taken on more of a timely need and an urgency.

Not surprisingly, a number of people are delighted to return to activities and events that are more reminiscent of times pre-pandemic. Others have expressed that they have felt quite comfortable with some, or many, aspects of the life that they have experienced over this last year and are struggling to make the shift.

This article is written for this latter group. If you are one of these people who looks back at this last year with a partial or complete thought of: please don’t mess with me now! then this article is for you. If you have always (or are now) struggling with general anxiety or social anxiety, this is for you. If you are not personally resonating with this concept, I still encourage you to read it so you can better understand your students, colleagues, friends, and family members. I’ve also included some tips to help you or them to venture out.

WHAT WE ARE EXPERIENCING

No two people are the same so not everyone will describe it the same way, but here is what I’ve been hearing, and it may not be what you expect. What you probably think is that folks are scared of contracting COVID-19, but actually most people do NOT quote their concern of developing COVID as their primary reason for their reluctance to venture back to activities. [Read more…]

My Spiral Story

December 19, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

When I recently updated my logo, I returned to the image of my original spiral. It seems appropriate now to explain the story of that spiral and its significance in my life and work.

This story starts several decades ago when I was learning to reduce my anxiety. Knowing me now, you wouldn’t even believe how anxious I was as a youth and early(ier) adult! I was taught breathing and calming exercises, and then meditation. Even that was frightening for this anxious young woman. But little by little over the course of a year I began to let go and allow my body and mind to relax as I returned to my roots as an intuitive empath.

Eventually I began to notice visualizations in these early meditations. The shape was always the same – a spiral. It always had the same direction and the same number of whorls. Eventually, I tried to do research to find out more, but if you can believe this, there was very little about spirals. Without the internet (or maybe it had just begun), there were no links to spiritual messages. There were books, but they only talked about spirals in nature (i.e.: the nautilus shell, plants, etc.) and mathematics (i.e.: the Fibonacci spiral). However, none of that felt satisfying to understand why I was seeing spirals, and this specific spiral, in repeated meditations.

Eventually, I began to experience more diverse visualizations in my meditations. Yet I always remembered those spirals. THAT spiral.

Fast forward to February of 2002 when I opened my private practice, Spiral Wisdom LLC. In the year prior, while I tried to develop a name, I remembered (how could I forget!!) my link to spirals and incorporated it in my business name. I thought this was a full circle moment, but that was yet to come.

My original logo had a very raw image of my spiral, so in 2010 I worked with a graphic designer who suggested a really cool logo that incorporated a spiral into a hand. I accepted it, and even loved it, but I have to be honest that I always missed MY spiral.

In 2012 I traveled to Sedona for a retreat to acknowledge the significance of the date, 12/12/12. As part of our events, we traveled to a local petroglyph site (dated 500 CE – 1425 CE). Our docent was discussing the significance and meanings of the various carvings on the large wall. Most of these carvings were very elaborate and could be measured in feet (see photo below). [Read more…]

It’s All About the Energy

August 31, 2019 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

All of us are energy, we are surrounded by energy, and we interact with it all as we attune to the energy within and outside ourselves. Some individuals are more aware of this attunement. I call these individuals, myself included, Sensitives. We are highly attuned to the five senses as well as energy, intuition and empathy. Others refer to us as Neuro-Sensitives or Neuro-Diverse. Some of these Sensitives are diagnosed with autism. In a recent course with Awesomism founder Suzy Miller I learned some new aspects for consideration.

Are you familiar with the book The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto? In his fascinating study he placed water in a number of bottles and labeled them with words like love, war, peace, anger, etc. When he later looked at the water under a microscope he found that water that had been exposed to loving words showed brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns, while water exposed to negative words formed incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors. As a result of his study and the visual images, we can better understand how words affect energy, and thus ourselves and each other.

When you realize that everything is energy, it opens up interesting options for you to address certain issues. For instance, let’s imagine that you are a teacher and you are having difficulty [Read more…]

One Introvert’s Experience at THE MARCH FOR OUR LIVES

April 22, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t long after the Parkland, Florida high school shooting that I heard about the March For Our Lives movement and the plan to hold a march in Washington DC on March 24, 2018. I immediately put it in my calendar to keep it on my radar. While I thought it sounded amazing, I had no plan, expectation or even a desire to attend. My husband knew immediately that he needed to be in DC, though he could have attended one of several local marches. “But not me,” I told everyone.

You see, I am an extroverted introvert. Or is it an introverted extrovert?

I enjoy talking with and meeting new people. To others, I appear as an outgoing individual.

Sounds like the classic extrovert, right? But I’m actually an introvert. People think being an introvert means keeping to oneself and speaking sparingly to others. But being an introvert actually describes how one replenishes their energy. Like other introverts I boost my energies best when I am by myself, and often in a space with minimal sensory input.

In addition to being an introvert, I am also an empath. This means I sometimes knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly, pick up the energies and emotions of others. Being an empath can feel exhausting and overwhelming for some, and it has felt that way for me for most of my life. For all these reasons I thought that being at a national march was a ridiculous idea for me. Why would I knowingly and willingly place myself in the middle of a huge group of people who are feeling sadness, anger, frustration and other strong emotions? Why would I willingly be in a group, most likely standing in close proximity to many others, with no opportunity to move to a location by myself? [Read more…]

Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload

January 30, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Recent statistics indicate that 1 in 68 children are on the autism spectrum; however autistics are not the only ones who experience sensory overload.

It is very likely that you know someone professionally, in your social group, or in your family who is neuro-sensitive. Sensitives can be autistic or neuro-typical (without autism). Over the years in my practice I have seen many children and adults who are neuro-sensitive. As their prevalence increases, so does their sensory awareness and responsiveness.

There is much speculation as to why there are more individuals who experience the world in this way. It could be evolutionary, neurological or the additives, drugs and pesticides in our food network.

Regardless of the cause, with the increasing number of individuals affected, there is a responsibility to learn how to best support Sensitives. There are a number of traditional approaches provided by occupational therapists, behaviorists, and speech and language therapists. There are also less-conventional approaches. I wrote about these in Setting Boundaries and Energy Cleansing.

You are encouraged to increase your awareness of the many situations that can create difficulties for the neuro-sensitives in your life so that you can support that individual or help to bring about systems change.

SCHOOLS

Kids spend the majority of their day in these environments for twelve or more years. We can reduce their sensory impact and ease their experiences.

LIGHT SENSITIVITY: Fluorescent lighting creates visual and auditory challenges. Highly sensitive individuals are bothered by the pulsations that fluorescents emit, as well as the sound from light ballasts. Light sensitivity can also affect reading: ease, accuracy, memory, concentration, and comprehension. Using natural or incandescent lighting in schools and at home can increase your child’s relaxation, reading skills, and even their willingness to do homework.

RECESS AND PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Weak muscle tone and poor coordination increase the likelihood that sports and team activities may not be [Read more…]

ACCEPTING YOUR CHILD’S DIFFERENCES

November 29, 2017 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Do you have a child (of any age) who is not like you?

I have worked with a number of families. Sometimes the client is the parent while other times the client is the child, or an adult child. Regardless, our conversations are often about scenarios that show how the child is wired differently from the parent; yet frequently neither really understands this. Here are the main topics that come up.

SOCIAL

I see a number of individuals who avoid social scenarios. They may only have a few friends, and may even avoid time with their family. This can be very disconcerting for a parent, and this is what I often hear:

“My child seems lonely, and I don’t want him/her to grow up alone.”

“Why is his/her school/college experience so drab? Why can’t s/he enjoy it? Why doesn’t my child go to school games and parties? College, tailgating, and parties were an amazing experience for me, and s/he is not participating!”

“Friends are important, and my child is missing out on social opportunities and experiences!”

If your child is a Sensitive (neuro-diverse) and experiences sensory overload, s/he will want more alone time and may seem more anxious, moody, or intolerant of others and their environment. It’s also possible that s/he misunderstands social scenarios and communication.

This child is not wired like you and does not receive the same pleasures in social company as you. As a matter of fact, I hear these individuals describe social activities as anything but fun. Let’s remember that they are very sensitive to the energies, the sounds, and the people in their environments. In addition to the sensory challenges they usually don’t have the social skill set that you (a neuro-typical) do, and they find every social or communication encounter as a potential landmine: “What do I say/do in this situation? Will it be right? Will they approve? Will they make fun of me (again)?”

Teaching these individuals the nuances of conversation, and developing their confidence and self-worth will significantly help, but they are still not wired like you. As a result, they will likely prefer more isolated experiences than you do. This does not mean it’s bad. They’re just different.

ACADEMICS/CAREERS

Parents hope and expect that their children will grow up to have amazing and prominent careers. Many families expect their children to go to college and study finance, business, law, medicine, etc. Graduate school is often an expectation. Yet, the academic experience of these different kids may not provide them successful college (or K-12) experiences.

For your student, [Read more…]

Transforming Fear

May 24, 2016 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

From listening to politicians and the news media, and even your neighbors and family, it’s easy to conclude that these are scary times. This article will explain fear and anxiety, provide you anxiety/stress reducing tools, and offer a way of looking at the world in which we live from a metaphysical perspective.

Fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” (Oxford Dictionaries). The amygdala, that part of the brain that determines safety, hasn’t evolved to distinguish the difference between a true imminent threat and an area of possible concern. It evaluates every input from one of your senses including what is seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted, and emotionally felt. From a safety perspective this makes perfect sense. But the amygdala has not learned to differentiate between a bear on a forest path and a call to the boss’ office. Both result in the same physiologic fight, flight or freeze response. Additionally, the amygdala and its supportive systems rarely distinguish between a threat that is happening to you and a threat that is happening to someone else while it’s viewed on the news or in a movie, or is told to you by another. The mind/body/emotions respond as if the threat is happening to you, right now.

To make matters more complicated, if you happen to be one of the many highly sensitive individuals (not just those on the autistic spectrum), your amygdala is hyper-vigilant. And if you are a worrier, then every additional worry-thought after the original trigger keeps your amygdala continuously responding.

The amygdala’s response is designed to be temporary, not to keep the system on high alert 24/7. Since the amygdala response actually lasts only 90 seconds, anything longer is due to the amygdala being repeatedly triggered by either the continuation of the real danger or by the mind’s continued focus on the perceived danger (actually a worry-thought).

Here are some ways to keep your amygdala response to the more manageable 90 seconds: [Read more…]

Remembering…And Becoming…Who You Really Are

February 29, 2016 By Judy Lipson

Are you ready to live your authentic life?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The next time you are in the presence of an infant or young child observe the authenticity with which they approach life. If something brings pleasure, they fully radiate joy, and if something is not making them happy, they will certainly express that as well. The real beauty is that they can swiftly return to joy with incredible ease.

Many of you inadvertently lost touch with your authenticity after the socialization process. Seemingly insignificant conversations might have affected your ability to know and remember yourself. An example might be when you were told to hug your visiting aunt. When you said that you don’t like getting close to your aunt, the adults in your world insisted that you ignore your feelings and go hug her anyway. Each time you saw yourself discounted for the ‘greater good’ there was the potential to lose a bit of your authentic self.

Another common situation was when, as a child, you were intuitive or knew things that your adult caregivers didn’t remember, didn’t believe, or feared. Could you see auras? Did you know things about people? Could you predict the future? The child is reliant on physical and emotional safety from others, so you may have discounted your abilities and suppressed them in order to be or feel safe. [Read more…]

T/t Trauma

My Spiral Story

It’s All About the Energy

One Introvert’s Experience at THE MARCH FOR OUR LIVES

Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload

Transforming Fear

Remembering…And Becoming…Who You Really Are

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