Judith E. Lipson, M.A.

Licensed Professional Counselor / Trainer / Facilitator

Gift Certificates | Brochure (PDF) | Newsletter Archive
You are here: Home / Archives for Personal Improvement

Are You Looking For Your Soul-Directed Mission?

By

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

What is a mission? Interestingly, the Oxford Dictionary offers a variety of definitions. The first is an important assignment carried out for political, religious, or commercial purposes. This is not my preferred definition. On the surface it doesn’t sound problematic, but I prefer the third definition of mission: a strongly felt aim, ambition, or calling.

Over the years I have had an opportunity to speak to many adults. Many are sensing something significant that they are pursuing, and a desire to follow this important path that they are feeling. They have suspected its existence since they were young. The children and teens that I speak to also talk of their mission for this lifetime. What is especially extraordinary is that they have sensed this need from a young age, younger than most of the adults who have expressed it.

I have been writing recently about the kids of the future – those who are paradoxically here today. Have you seen these children on the news? These are compassionate and passionate children with a deep desire to create change, who seem to feel obligated to do just that. (For more information read Hippies, Indigos, Crystal Children, and Beyond).

Have you had conversations with these kids? Have you really listened to them? I recently had a conversation with a young woman who is involved in very important work to change systems. She feels that this work is not just her job, and it is more than a vocation. Her commitment is so strong that her whole being shows up for every conversation, every presentation, and every action. She is an example of our youth who take on missions of grand importance

She and I began to explore together what separates her and her passionate work from that of some others. First she recognized that this is her soul-mission work. As we talked further, we recognized that integrity is the key ingredient. Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. I (we) believe that it is the merging of integrity with the mission that makes the work so powerful, so soul-filled.

Everyone has goals in life, work that they do, a sense of a purpose in life. I encourage you to look at your mission and work, as well as the missions/work of those whom you admire. Is it a soul-driven mission? Here are some characteristics, which can be viewed as scaffolding, to help you identify integrity within mission.

THE INTEGRITY OF YOUR MISSION [Read more…]

One Introvert’s Experience at THE MARCH FOR OUR LIVES

By

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t long after the Parkland, Florida high school shooting that I heard about the March For Our Lives movement and the plan to hold a march in Washington DC on March 24, 2018. I immediately put it in my calendar to keep it on my radar. While I thought it sounded amazing, I had no plan, expectation or even a desire to attend. My husband knew immediately that he needed to be in DC, though he could have attended one of several local marches. “But not me,” I told everyone.

You see, I am an extroverted introvert. Or is it an introverted extrovert?

I enjoy talking with and meeting new people. To others, I appear as an outgoing individual.

Sounds like the classic extrovert, right? But I’m actually an introvert. People think being an introvert means keeping to oneself and speaking sparingly to others. But being an introvert actually describes how one replenishes their energy. Like other introverts I boost my energies best when I am by myself, and often in a space with minimal sensory input.

In addition to being an introvert, I am also an empath. This means I sometimes knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly, pick up the energies and emotions of others. Being an empath can feel exhausting and overwhelming for some, and it has felt that way for me for most of my life. For all these reasons I thought that being at a national march was a ridiculous idea for me. Why would I knowingly and willingly place myself in the middle of a huge group of people who are feeling sadness, anger, frustration and other strong emotions? Why would I willingly be in a group, most likely standing in close proximity to many others, with no opportunity to move to a location by myself? [Read more…]

Shadow Work

By

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

If you’ve ever been involved in therapy or self-improvement you have unknowingly been involved with your shadows. Additionally, you might be surprised to know that if you have ever been angry with another person, you were likely interacting with your own shadow in that situation.

The shadow is that part of you that you’d prefer to not admit to or look at. Interestingly, after doing your shadow-work you may find it easier to accept your human-ness, and even accept your imperfections, and yourself, as being ‘just perfect’.

Shadow work may seem like the hardest work that you have ever done, but it is also the most profound for providing insightful life-changing transformations. Here are techniques to begin your shadow-work.

Since many people want to ease into making life-changes, you can begin with the more traditional self-improvement efforts that you’ve already considered. Are any of your actions now habits that are not serving a beneficial purpose? Do you want to take control of that now? Dealing with these issues will familiarize you with the process of making changes and allow you to realize that though there might be emotional discomfort, it is temporary. Confidence and security are paramount when you are addressing the tough issues that you wish you didn’t see – your shadows.

When you have adequately tackled one or more of those habits/behaviors and are ready to dig deeper, consider the following questions that were shared at a recent retreat by Karlta Zarley to identify a potential shadow issue for your exploration.

  • What is no longer needed?
  • What is no longer wanted?
  • What is no longer in your best interest?
  • What are you afraid to look at?
  • What have you never even considered?
  • What is not tangible, yet you still know it’s important (for instance, an intuitive knowing)?
  • What have you not seen at all (obviously one of the hardest to find)?

Although shadow work can seem daunting, [Read more…]

Personal and Spiritual Transformation

By

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Transformation is defined as a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.

In psychology, transformation often refers to the unconscious becoming conscious. Spiritual transformation is defined as a fundamental change in a person’s sacred or spiritual life.

In my practice I am fortunate to be able to facilitate my clients’ personal, behavioral and spiritual journeys, and am frequently the witness of impressive transformations. These transformations are often quite dramatic, though my clients may see the process as slow or unrecognizable. But as their facilitator, I am able to observe these changes from a larger perspective and as a result, I can see how the changing patterns are actually indicators of larger transformations.

What types of transformations do I witness?

  • An increased calmness in the individual’s demeanor as evidenced by a more relaxed body, a slower speech pattern, and a less intense energy pattern. It’s as if they vibrate more slowly.
  • An increased ability to respond rather than to react.
  • A willingness (or necessity) to look at the members of their friend and professional groups to determine where each person should be positioned in the concentric circles of relationships:
  • The closest group to you should be those few people who have already earned your trust!
  • The next group are those who you enjoy being with, but who have not earned that valuable trust. Be cautious of what you share with these folks.
  • The third group includes people with whom you can socialize comfortably, even if they don’t share all your deepest values and beliefs.
  • You may have additional groups. Be willing to re-assess your current friends, co-workers and family members, and to potentially re-determine your relationships and their group-position. And remember that appropriate boundaries should be maintained with members of all of your groups.
  • An increased willingness and ease to address and heal the deeper challenges of life.

CLEANING ‘HOUSE’ [Read more…]

The Tapestry of Life

By

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Years ago I attended a seminar that explained how people tend to compare themselves to others in a judgmental manner. Participants were encouraged to look at their own and especially others’ lives as a tapestry. While the front of the tapestry may appear flawless, the back is filled with knots and strings. Therefore it is important to remember:

That which is visible as well as that which is hidden make up the entirety of one’s life; so don’t be fooled by seeing only that which is visible.

As the years have passed, I realize that to understand the individual’s or the collective human experience, there are additional ‘invisible’ layers to detect and understand. How might your life be different if you looked at all the aspects that create your life? Would you then see the completeness of yourself more accurately? What would it be like if you viewed the varied aspects of your own life, and not just the perceived whole?

Please be candid as you evaluate yourself, and avoid dwelling on a perceived negative detail (that cellulite, blemish, etc) as this one aspect does not define your whole self. Allow yourself to see how your life can be different if you recognize the entirety of who you are.

As you seek the awareness of who you really are, you can also observe patterns. [Read more…]

Romantic Relationships and Soul Mates

By

Anyone that loves you deeply and who you open your heart to, will shine a light so strong into the very essence of who you are, that everything that is not in alignment with this light will come up to the surface to be healed. – Cissi Williams

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

All people with whom you come in contact are mirrors for your own ‘stuff’, but the people with whom you form partner relationships provide an exquisite opportunity to know yourself better, and to address your Shadows.

A quick glossary of terms:

PARTNER RELATIONSHIPS – For this article it refers to your romantic partner whether you are married or single, and regardless of their gender.

MIRROR – The opportunity to see your own issues because your partner either reflects them back to you (verbally or indirectly), or because you project these issues on your partner so that YOU can see the issues, although it’s common to assume that your partner is the problem.

THE SHADOW – Those parts of yourself that you would prefer to keep hidden because you have either been taught that they should not be allowed to be visible (and these may even be valuable traits like speaking up for yourself) or because they embarrass you and you wish they didn’t exist.

TRIGGERS – Things that occur around you which set off strong emotions or create judgmental thoughts about yourself or others.

YOUR ‘STUFF’ – This refers to your shadows and triggers (see above) that can increase your emotionality, affect your perceptions of situations and people, and generally interfere with and complicate your relationships.

SOUL MATE – The impression that you are with a person that you are supposed to be with. There’s a deep sense of knowing this person and often a deep attraction as well. It’s interesting to note that not all soul mates are destined to be your romantic partner, but all soul mates provide an opportunity to be your mirror. So one question to ask yourself is whether this person who feels like your soul mate should also be your romantic partner.

INNER CHILD – The little boy or girl that resides within you who recalls the fears and challenges that you experienced in childhood. When familiar events or emotions re-trigger the inner child, s/he alerts you to the danger, but does so from the perspective of the child-victim instead of from the empowered adult that you are now.

INTER-GENERATIONAL PATTERNS – Students of metaphysics believe that individuals carry patterns established by our ancestors whether or not it is carried in our DNA. As you do your own work, you heal inter-generationally as well. Native Americans believe that this extends seven generations forward and seven generations back. (But why limit to seven?)

It’s no surprise that couples experience so many challenges in committed relationships. According to Harville Hendrix and his Imago theory, there’s a tendency to choose partners who [Read more…]

Establishing Boundaries

By

#Resist: Fear and Denying Your Self

As I talk to clients and others I realize how many children and adults, but especially females, have trouble saying no. While being compassionate and kind are important, respecting yourself is at least as essential. You must know where your boundaries are, where they need to be and how to honor yourself by communicating these boundaries to others.

You have a right and a responsibility to care for yourself, which is why flight attendants instruct you to put on your own mask before assisting your children or those around you. Yet too frequently, you have assisted or done for others until you felt used and exhausted. If you did finally say no or asked for assistance, it’s probable that you also felt guilty doing so. This takes a toll on your physical and emotional health.

Most children are not explicitly taught how to assert their needs in a respectful and self-assured manner. Girls, especially, have been taught to be “nice” and to not make waves so it is problematic for most women to learn how to express their own needs in a healthy manner. Males are not immune from this difficulty.

In the absence of instruction or modeling, people stifle their voice and find themselves exhausted and resentful until their frustration builds to a deafening roar, and they angrily express themselves.

VERBAL

Breathe into your diaphragm. Soften your throat. Speak your needs respectfully and assertively, without aggression. Speak concisely, calmly and with strength.

THOUGHTS [Read more…]

A Time of Great Change

By

One seemingly common thread across the U.S., and across political parties has been the desire for change. This article is not about politics, or those differences.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

We humans are a funny lot. Oftentimes we appropriately complain about our situation – relationship, family, work status, coworkers, etc – and we hope that it will change. But when the opportunity for change actually arises, there is a tendency for the individual to retreat as a fear response, and continue with what is familiar.

I have been fascinated by the acceleration of change that has been taking place over the last decade or more. I have witnessed this acceleration of change in my own life, as well as in my clients’. Children and adults arrive for counseling for a particular reason, yet often learn that there is an underlying frustration or a lack of congruence between their inner self/goals and their outer actions. I help clients to align the two and to tolerate the lack of ease that they temporarily experience in the meantime.

I’ve seen many children and adults over the last few decades who are feeling a pull to something different and know that there is something more. Are you one of them? Here’s what you might be experiencing: [Read more…]

WANTING MORE

By

cloudy-sunset-2By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC 

You may be wondering why an article of this title would come out, especially right before the holidays. We urge you to think carefully of what you seek. And not just at the holidays. It’s too easy to try to fill oneself with material goods when one is really seeking spiritual or personal fulfillment.

So we ask you now to search deeply and answer the question that is really on your mind: “What do I really want?”

  • Is it fulfillment?
  • Is it gratitude?
  • Is what I am seeking actually what I want to be giving?

Strive to look beyond the surface-meaning of the thing that you believe you want. Avoid evaluating with your head when you can be listening through your heart and soul. You may find direction to your answer by identifying how you think you will feel if you achieve it. What does this thing you want symbolize? What does it represent?

To do this, access the right hemisphere of your brain. This is your creative aspect.

  • Use different types of art media to draw or create.
  • Create or play music, or dance to the representations of your feelings.
  • Disconnect your left-brain analyzing-mind with activities like yoga or tai chi.
  • Meditate or pray.
  • Channel information from your Higher Wisdom or from your Guides.

If you are not yet skilled in the technique of channeling, you can allow yourself to write whatever comes to mind, even if it seems unrelated, silly, or ridiculous at first. This can be done with pen and paper, but it is also helpful to close your eyes in front of your computer or tablet and type whatever comes to mind. Be patient and be curious and see where it takes you.

‘Wanting more’ is not a negative, but we do urge you to identify your deeper, truer desire at every opportunity, to regain or maintain connection with your Self. ‘Wanting’ is therefore really asking the question, “Who am I and what do I need?” and realizing that the answer never really was about the sweater, the car, the life partner or the job promotion.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Hearing Your Own Voice; Owning Your Own Voice; Patience

By

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

water from rock 2What do you know about patience? Patience is the virtue that allows you to listen to your higher soul, attend to your inner voice, and bring integrity to your thinking and actions. Have you learned how to listen to your inner voice? Do you see how patience is required to do so accurately and effectively?

Patience in action allows things to slow down. When you engage in an activity with patience you direct your mind to be in the moment and to address what is right before you. You have felt the world slow down, and when it does you resonate with that sensation. This is the experience of being in the now. Unfortunately, most people only know this experience (described as “time just stood still”), as the result of a very frightening crisis like a near traffic accident. The good news is that you can access this state of consciousness without a crisis, and therefore without anxiety.

In our society, most people recognize that they function from a “monkey mind” – jumping from one thought to another – and proud of every opportunity to multi-task (whether it’s effective or not). But when you slow your mind to focus on one thought or activity at a time you will note that your inner being becomes calmer and slower, which allows you to slow your outward movements as well. The irony is that the more you slow your mind, the more efficient your actions will be.

The good news is that it is not hard to slow your mind and to hear your inner voice, but it does require practice because you are developing a new pattern.

First, develop patience. Begin a practice of daily focus in the now. This can be meditation, prayer, movement, time in nature; it can even include chores – if you focus ON the chore and not on the monkey-mind that is excited to have been unleashed.

Become increasingly aware of times that you squelch your message and [Read more…]

SPIRAL WISDOM LLC

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor supporting ADHD, Anxiety, Autism Spectrum/Aspergers as well as those who wish to explore their Life’s Purpose. Judy provides Counseling, Educational Consultations, Academic Support and Presentations/Workshops.

Make an appointment with Judy to develop effective Strategies, Improve Motivation and Self-Esteem, develop Advocacy and Empowerment, identify Accommodations for IEPs and 504 Plans, understand Sensitives and Become Who You Really Are.

As we navigate the COVID-19 pandemic, I remain available via phone and video chat to support all ages of clients. Don’t hesitate to contact me for more information and to see if I might be available to help you. 

Make an Appointment

Specialties

  • Anxiety
  • ADHD
  • Autism and Aspergers Syndrome
  • Empowerment and Advocacy
  • Sensitives
  • Guided Imagery
  • Transformational Counseling
 

Recent Articles

Psychology Today ACA

Contact Information

Judy Lipson, M.A., LPC
Spiral Wisdom LLC
Phone: (248) 568-8665
judylipson@spiralwisdom.net

Spiral Wisdom Newsletter

Sensitives, ADHD, Autism, Anxiety