Articles – Page 4

HIPPIES, INDIGOS, CRYSTAL CHILDREN, AND BEYOND

May 30, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Are the generations evolving?

Who are these young people who are changing paradigms?

I’m technically part of the Baby Boomer generation. As teens and young adults many of us were called hippies. Though I was aware of hippies during my teen years and wore a few hippie-type outfits (although a true hippie would have scoffed), I know I was not a hippie. But I did agree with many of our generation’s mottos, particularly: “Question authority”, and “Make love, not war”. We were very proud of ourselves for seeing the world differently, and not bowing to the establishment’s pre-conceived notions. We really believed things would be different and that we were the ones to make that happen.

Fast-forward to the subsequent generations. The Center for Generational Kinetics believes that “generations are not cute stories or catchy memes, but groupings of people who help us to see them and the world differently – and more clearly. They make their mark on society and history.” According to the Center:

Baby Boomers were born 1946-1964
Gen X was born 1965 to 1976
Millenials (also called Gen Y) are currently the largest group of employees and consumers and were born 1977 to 1995
Gen Z was born 1996 to the present.This group is recognized by the fact that 9/11 has always been a memory to them.

Unfortunately, Gen Z seems to have another tragedy in common as well. As I listen to today’s children and teens, one key component of their life is that they all have been affected by the 1999 mass shooting at Columbine High School. These students’ school experiences [Read more…]

One Introvert’s Experience at THE MARCH FOR OUR LIVES

April 22, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t long after the Parkland, Florida high school shooting that I heard about the March For Our Lives movement and the plan to hold a march in Washington DC on March 24, 2018. I immediately put it in my calendar to keep it on my radar. While I thought it sounded amazing, I had no plan, expectation or even a desire to attend. My husband knew immediately that he needed to be in DC, though he could have attended one of several local marches. “But not me,” I told everyone.

You see, I am an extroverted introvert. Or is it an introverted extrovert?

I enjoy talking with and meeting new people. To others, I appear as an outgoing individual.

Sounds like the classic extrovert, right? But I’m actually an introvert. People think being an introvert means keeping to oneself and speaking sparingly to others. But being an introvert actually describes how one replenishes their energy. Like other introverts I boost my energies best when I am by myself, and often in a space with minimal sensory input.

In addition to being an introvert, I am also an empath. This means I sometimes knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly, pick up the energies and emotions of others. Being an empath can feel exhausting and overwhelming for some, and it has felt that way for me for most of my life. For all these reasons I thought that being at a national march was a ridiculous idea for me. Why would I knowingly and willingly place myself in the middle of a huge group of people who are feeling sadness, anger, frustration and other strong emotions? Why would I willingly be in a group, most likely standing in close proximity to many others, with no opportunity to move to a location by myself? [Read more…]

Sensitives: Tantrum Or Meltdown?

February 19, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Last month’s article, Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload, focused on how parents and professionals can reduce the sensory burden that neuro-sensitive children and adults experience every day of every week during various activities in their lives: medical, social, entertainment, school, shopping, etc.

As a continuation of that information, this month’s article will focus on the resulting behaviors that occur when the Sensitive, or their parent/professional, cannot adequately reduce the overwhelming level of sensory input. Certainly different individuals have different tolerances, but sensitives and empaths who understand this phenomenon, and can communicate it, have all described their meltdowns, or of recognizing its approach.

For non-Sensitives, even those who conceptually understand empathy, it may be hard to understand that someone can experience this extent of sensory sensitivity. As a result, since many parents and professionals can’t see it coming, they don’t know how to recognize these sensory meltdowns. In fact, frequently it is assumed that the individual is having a temper tantrum. However, tantrums and meltdowns are triggered by different things and require different responses.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TANTRUMS AND MELTDOWNS

STEP ONE: UNDERSTAND SENSORY OVERLOAD

Sensitive children are hyper-aware of their surroundings. To better understand their experience, think about the input that they receive from all five senses, and realize that they have minimal ability to decrease or minimize it. Additionally, they are often intuitive, and as empaths they are highly aware of others’ emotions to the point that they feel these emotions in their own bodies.

Unfortunately most empaths don’t realize this is occurring. They either assume they are feeling an intensification of their own emotions, or they just react. Empaths who understand what’s occurring describe their experiences as more than empathy. (Empathy is described as, “I can imagine how it must be for you.”)

Here are some statements that empaths have told me to describe being an empath: [Read more…]

Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload

January 30, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Recent statistics indicate that 1 in 68 children are on the autism spectrum; however autistics are not the only ones who experience sensory overload.

It is very likely that you know someone professionally, in your social group, or in your family who is neuro-sensitive. Sensitives can be autistic or neuro-typical (without autism). Over the years in my practice I have seen many children and adults who are neuro-sensitive. As their prevalence increases, so does their sensory awareness and responsiveness.

There is much speculation as to why there are more individuals who experience the world in this way. It could be evolutionary, neurological or the additives, drugs and pesticides in our food network.

Regardless of the cause, with the increasing number of individuals affected, there is a responsibility to learn how to best support Sensitives. There are a number of traditional approaches provided by occupational therapists, behaviorists, and speech and language therapists. There are also less-conventional approaches. I wrote about these in Setting Boundaries and Energy Cleansing.

You are encouraged to increase your awareness of the many situations that can create difficulties for the neuro-sensitives in your life so that you can support that individual or help to bring about systems change.

SCHOOLS

Kids spend the majority of their day in these environments for twelve or more years. We can reduce their sensory impact and ease their experiences.

LIGHT SENSITIVITY: Fluorescent lighting creates visual and auditory challenges. Highly sensitive individuals are bothered by the pulsations that fluorescents emit, as well as the sound from light ballasts. Light sensitivity can also affect reading: ease, accuracy, memory, concentration, and comprehension. Using natural or incandescent lighting in schools and at home can increase your child’s relaxation, reading skills, and even their willingness to do homework.

RECESS AND PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Weak muscle tone and poor coordination increase the likelihood that sports and team activities may not be [Read more…]

ACCEPTING YOUR CHILD’S DIFFERENCES

November 29, 2017 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Do you have a child (of any age) who is not like you?

I have worked with a number of families. Sometimes the client is the parent while other times the client is the child, or an adult child. Regardless, our conversations are often about scenarios that show how the child is wired differently from the parent; yet frequently neither really understands this. Here are the main topics that come up.

SOCIAL

I see a number of individuals who avoid social scenarios. They may only have a few friends, and may even avoid time with their family. This can be very disconcerting for a parent, and this is what I often hear:

“My child seems lonely, and I don’t want him/her to grow up alone.”

“Why is his/her school/college experience so drab? Why can’t s/he enjoy it? Why doesn’t my child go to school games and parties? College, tailgating, and parties were an amazing experience for me, and s/he is not participating!”

“Friends are important, and my child is missing out on social opportunities and experiences!”

If your child is a Sensitive (neuro-diverse) and experiences sensory overload, s/he will want more alone time and may seem more anxious, moody, or intolerant of others and their environment. It’s also possible that s/he misunderstands social scenarios and communication.

This child is not wired like you and does not receive the same pleasures in social company as you. As a matter of fact, I hear these individuals describe social activities as anything but fun. Let’s remember that they are very sensitive to the energies, the sounds, and the people in their environments. In addition to the sensory challenges they usually don’t have the social skill set that you (a neuro-typical) do, and they find every social or communication encounter as a potential landmine: “What do I say/do in this situation? Will it be right? Will they approve? Will they make fun of me (again)?”

Teaching these individuals the nuances of conversation, and developing their confidence and self-worth will significantly help, but they are still not wired like you. As a result, they will likely prefer more isolated experiences than you do. This does not mean it’s bad. They’re just different.

ACADEMICS/CAREERS

Parents hope and expect that their children will grow up to have amazing and prominent careers. Many families expect their children to go to college and study finance, business, law, medicine, etc. Graduate school is often an expectation. Yet, the academic experience of these different kids may not provide them successful college (or K-12) experiences.

For your student, [Read more…]

Shadow Work

October 28, 2017 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

If you’ve ever been involved in therapy or self-improvement you have unknowingly been involved with your shadows. Additionally, you might be surprised to know that if you have ever been angry with another person, you were likely interacting with your own shadow in that situation.

The shadow is that part of you that you’d prefer to not admit to or look at. Interestingly, after doing your shadow-work you may find it easier to accept your human-ness, and even accept your imperfections, and yourself, as being ‘just perfect’.

Shadow work may seem like the hardest work that you have ever done, but it is also the most profound for providing insightful life-changing transformations. Here are techniques to begin your shadow-work.

Since many people want to ease into making life-changes, you can begin with the more traditional self-improvement efforts that you’ve already considered. Are any of your actions now habits that are not serving a beneficial purpose? Do you want to take control of that now? Dealing with these issues will familiarize you with the process of making changes and allow you to realize that though there might be emotional discomfort, it is temporary. Confidence and security are paramount when you are addressing the tough issues that you wish you didn’t see – your shadows.

When you have adequately tackled one or more of those habits/behaviors and are ready to dig deeper, consider the following questions that were shared at a recent retreat by Karlta Zarley to identify a potential shadow issue for your exploration.

What is no longer needed?
What is no longer wanted?
What is no longer in your best interest?
What are you afraid to look at?
What have you never even considered?
What is not tangible, yet you still know it’s important (for instance, an intuitive knowing)?
What have you not seen at all (obviously one of the hardest to find)?

Although shadow work can seem daunting, [Read more…]

Personal and Spiritual Transformation

September 30, 2017 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Transformation is defined as a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.

In psychology, transformation often refers to the unconscious becoming conscious. Spiritual transformation is defined as a fundamental change in a person’s sacred or spiritual life.

In my practice I am fortunate to be able to facilitate my clients’ personal, behavioral and spiritual journeys, and am frequently the witness of impressive transformations. These transformations are often quite dramatic, though my clients may see the process as slow or unrecognizable. But as their facilitator, I am able to observe these changes from a larger perspective and as a result, I can see how the changing patterns are actually indicators of larger transformations.

What types of transformations do I witness?

An increased calmness in the individual’s demeanor as evidenced by a more relaxed body, a slower speech pattern, and a less intense energy pattern. It’s as if they vibrate more slowly.
An increased ability to respond rather than to react.
A willingness (or necessity) to look at the members of their friend and professional groups to determine where each person should be positioned in the concentric circles of relationships:
The closest group to you should be those few people who have already earned your trust!
The next group are those who you enjoy being with, but who have not earned that valuable trust. Be cautious of what you share with these folks.
The third group includes people with whom you can socialize comfortably, even if they don’t share all your deepest values and beliefs.
You may have additional groups. Be willing to re-assess your current friends, co-workers and family members, and to potentially re-determine your relationships and their group-position. And remember that appropriate boundaries should be maintained with members of all of your groups.
An increased willingness and ease to address and heal the deeper challenges of life.

CLEANING ‘HOUSE’ [Read more…]

A Time of Great Change

January 28, 2017 By Judy Lipson

One seemingly common thread across the U.S., and across political parties has been the desire for change. This article is not about politics, or those differences.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

We humans are a funny lot. Oftentimes we appropriately complain about our situation – relationship, family, work status, coworkers, etc – and we hope that it will change. But when the opportunity for change actually arises, there is a tendency for the individual to retreat as a fear response, and continue with what is familiar.

I have been fascinated by the acceleration of change that has been taking place over the last decade or more. I have witnessed this acceleration of change in my own life, as well as in my clients’. Children and adults arrive for counseling for a particular reason, yet often learn that there is an underlying frustration or a lack of congruence between their inner self/goals and their outer actions. I help clients to align the two and to tolerate the lack of ease that they temporarily experience in the meantime.

I’ve seen many children and adults over the last few decades who are feeling a pull to something different and know that there is something more. Are you one of them? Here’s what you might be experiencing: [Read more…]

WANTING MORE

November 30, 2016 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

You may be wondering why an article of this title would come out, especially right before the holidays. We urge you to think carefully of what you seek. And not just at the holidays. It’s too easy to try to fill oneself with material goods when one is really seeking spiritual or personal fulfillment.

So we ask you now to search deeply and answer the question that is really on your mind: “What do I really want?”

Is it fulfillment?
Is it gratitude?
Is what I am seeking actually what I want to be giving?

Strive to look beyond the surface-meaning of the thing that you believe you want. Avoid evaluating with your head when you can be listening through your heart and soul. You may find direction to your answer by identifying how you think you will feel if you achieve it. What does this thing you want symbolize? What does it represent?

To do this, access the right hemisphere of your brain. This is your creative aspect.

Use different types of art media to draw or create.
Create or play music, or dance to the representations of your feelings.
Disconnect your left-brain analyzing-mind with activities like yoga or tai chi.
Meditate or pray.
Channel information from your Higher Wisdom or from your Guides.

If you are not yet skilled in the technique of channeling, you can allow yourself to write whatever comes to mind, even if it seems unrelated, silly, or ridiculous at first. This can be done with pen and paper, but it is also helpful to close your eyes in front of your computer or tablet and type whatever comes to mind. Be patient and be curious and see where it takes you.

‘Wanting more’ is not a negative, but we do urge you to identify your deeper, truer desire at every opportunity, to regain or maintain connection with your Self. ‘Wanting’ is therefore really asking the question, “Who am I and what do I need?” and realizing that the answer never really was about the sweater, the car, the life partner or the job promotion.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Hearing Your Own Voice; Owning Your Own Voice; Patience

October 29, 2016 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

What do you know about patience? Patience is the virtue that allows you to listen to your higher soul, attend to your inner voice, and bring integrity to your thinking and actions. Have you learned how to listen to your inner voice? Do you see how patience is required to do so accurately and effectively?

Patience in action allows things to slow down. When you engage in an activity with patience you direct your mind to be in the moment and to address what is right before you. You have felt the world slow down, and when it does you resonate with that sensation. This is the experience of being in the now. Unfortunately, most people only know this experience (described as “time just stood still”), as the result of a very frightening crisis like a near traffic accident. The good news is that you can access this state of consciousness without a crisis, and therefore without anxiety.

In our society, most people recognize that they function from a “monkey mind” – jumping from one thought to another – and proud of every opportunity to multi-task (whether it’s effective or not). But when you slow your mind to focus on one thought or activity at a time you will note that your inner being becomes calmer and slower, which allows you to slow your outward movements as well. The irony is that the more you slow your mind, the more efficient your actions will be.

The good news is that it is not hard to slow your mind and to hear your inner voice, but it does require practice because you are developing a new pattern.

First, develop patience. Begin a practice of daily focus in the now. This can be meditation, prayer, movement, time in nature; it can even include chores – if you focus ON the chore and not on the monkey-mind that is excited to have been unleashed.

Become increasingly aware of times that you squelch your message and [Read more…]

HIPPIES, INDIGOS, CRYSTAL CHILDREN, AND BEYOND

One Introvert’s Experience at THE MARCH FOR OUR LIVES

Sensitives: Tantrum Or Meltdown?

Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload

Shadow Work

Personal and Spiritual Transformation

A Time of Great Change

WANTING MORE

Hearing Your Own Voice; Owning Your Own Voice; Patience

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