Anxiety – Page 3

Hearing Your Own Voice; Owning Your Own Voice; Patience

October 29, 2016 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

What do you know about patience? Patience is the virtue that allows you to listen to your higher soul, attend to your inner voice, and bring integrity to your thinking and actions. Have you learned how to listen to your inner voice? Do you see how patience is required to do so accurately and effectively?

Patience in action allows things to slow down. When you engage in an activity with patience you direct your mind to be in the moment and to address what is right before you. You have felt the world slow down, and when it does you resonate with that sensation. This is the experience of being in the now. Unfortunately, most people only know this experience (described as “time just stood still”), as the result of a very frightening crisis like a near traffic accident. The good news is that you can access this state of consciousness without a crisis, and therefore without anxiety.

In our society, most people recognize that they function from a “monkey mind” – jumping from one thought to another – and proud of every opportunity to multi-task (whether it’s effective or not). But when you slow your mind to focus on one thought or activity at a time you will note that your inner being becomes calmer and slower, which allows you to slow your outward movements as well. The irony is that the more you slow your mind, the more efficient your actions will be.

The good news is that it is not hard to slow your mind and to hear your inner voice, but it does require practice because you are developing a new pattern.

First, develop patience. Begin a practice of daily focus in the now. This can be meditation, prayer, movement, time in nature; it can even include chores – if you focus ON the chore and not on the monkey-mind that is excited to have been unleashed.

Become increasingly aware of times that you squelch your message and [Read more…]

When Fear and Anger Aren’t What They Seem

June 29, 2016 By Judy Lipson

Antecedents are the key to understanding and releasing

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Years ago, I acquired a mini-poster showing how anger is actually due to a myriad of other emotions. It was one of those moments that helped to bring so many things into perspective. Anger is more of a reactive symptom, so when I see anger in my clients I look for the antecedent/cause.

I often show the poster to my clients so that they can understand their own anger, or the anger of a significant other. As many have explored their own anger, two additional causative factors have been added: feeling misunderstood and betrayal. Here is the complete list (in no particular order). Are there any influences that you would like to add?

Anxiety
Shame
Sadness
Fear
Hurt
Guilt
Worry
Frustration
Disappointment
Embarrassment
Jealousy
Misunderstood
Betrayal

Think about the times that you have felt or acted angry, and look at the list to identify your underlying emotion(s) to better recognize the real issue(s). Next, I encourage you to additionally go one step further. Think back and identify when in your history, most frequently during your childhood, you experienced that earlier emotion. Emotional extremes, like anger, are usually triggered by an earlier experience, for which the current event is a reminder. Now you have the potential to address it at its root in order to release the anger.

Fear is another emotional extreme. [Read more…]

Transforming Fear

May 24, 2016 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

From listening to politicians and the news media, and even your neighbors and family, it’s easy to conclude that these are scary times. This article will explain fear and anxiety, provide you anxiety/stress reducing tools, and offer a way of looking at the world in which we live from a metaphysical perspective.

Fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” (Oxford Dictionaries). The amygdala, that part of the brain that determines safety, hasn’t evolved to distinguish the difference between a true imminent threat and an area of possible concern. It evaluates every input from one of your senses including what is seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted, and emotionally felt. From a safety perspective this makes perfect sense. But the amygdala has not learned to differentiate between a bear on a forest path and a call to the boss’ office. Both result in the same physiologic fight, flight or freeze response. Additionally, the amygdala and its supportive systems rarely distinguish between a threat that is happening to you and a threat that is happening to someone else while it’s viewed on the news or in a movie, or is told to you by another. The mind/body/emotions respond as if the threat is happening to you, right now.

To make matters more complicated, if you happen to be one of the many highly sensitive individuals (not just those on the autistic spectrum), your amygdala is hyper-vigilant. And if you are a worrier, then every additional worry-thought after the original trigger keeps your amygdala continuously responding.

The amygdala’s response is designed to be temporary, not to keep the system on high alert 24/7. Since the amygdala response actually lasts only 90 seconds, anything longer is due to the amygdala being repeatedly triggered by either the continuation of the real danger or by the mind’s continued focus on the perceived danger (actually a worry-thought).

Here are some ways to keep your amygdala response to the more manageable 90 seconds: [Read more…]

A LETTER TO YOUR INNER CHILD FROM YOUR HIGHEST WISDOM

April 3, 2016 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

You probably don’t remember, but when you were born you were authentic and you remembered Who You Really Are as well as your plan for this lifetime. But as is so common, you forgot much of that and now I, your Highest Wisdom, have noticed that you are trying to hold on to Who You Really Are, while you are also trying to fit in. The reason that I’m talking to you today is because I noticed that you don’t think that you can be your real self and be like others.

You may be thinking that to be liked by others you need to be just like them. Are you finding that really hard? Adults and even kids say that you should be your own individual, be your own person. Yet they also tell you to be just like them. How confusing. You wonder, “Am I supposed to be like all the others? Does that mean that I can’t be Who I Really Am?” And then you feel even more lost and confused.

To make things more complicated, you might recognize yourself as really different. There is a reason for this. [Read more…]

Emotion: Anger is Not a Primary One

September 30, 2015 By Judy Lipson

While chances are good that you or someone you know has ‘anger issues’, there is much more to anger than you probably realize.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

In our society, most people are not in touch with the majority of their emotions. You are likely familiar with joy and happy, and sometimes even bliss. You can recognize sadness, and will likely assume that you or someone else is experiencing grief after a significant loss. You probably know about numerous other emotions, but primarily as a definition. Most people do not know what they are really feeling, especially when it comes to what our society refers to as the negative emotions.

Anger is certainly recognized by society as a negative, yet it also seems to be the most accepted, or expected, of emotions. This is especially true of men who are discouraged from expressing sadness, worry, and many other feelings. Historically, it has been frowned upon for women to express anger, yet increasingly women do so as well.

An interesting fact is, though incredibly prevalent, anger is not a primary emotion. Actually, it is the expression of other emotions. It is only when you identify that underlying experience and its corresponding response, that you can stop your explosions.

The next time you begin to feel the buildup of anger, I urge you to look deeper to find the origin. Here are a number of emotional possibilities that can guide you to the root of your anger: [Read more…]

Reducing Stress and Anxiety

December 1, 2012 By Judy Lipson

Help your child to worry less and feel relaxed.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Kids today have full schedules: school, athletics, family time, and extra-curricular and other activities. Busy kids respond to their hectic lives the same way that adults do: sleep is impacted, proper nutrition ignored, and kids feel generally overwhelmed. Hectic schedules also minimize quiet times that are imperative for development and well-being.

I recently heard a police officer on the radio describing how he takes care of business: he avoids emotion so that he can respond effectively to crises, save people and keep himself protected. Is this the effect that busy schedules have on your child? Your child may move from crisis to crisis (appointments, homework, studying, keeping family and friends happy) and without even realizing, shut down feelings. You may need to guide your child to find the opportunities to open his or her heart, feel emotions and attain inner peace.

If your child also struggles with low self-esteem or perfectionist tendencies, there is an additional subconscious tendency to avoid inner feelings and thoughts. Taking care of business and busyness seem preferable to avoid focusing on the underlying emotions and negative internal messages.

It is important that your child not be constantly focused on activities outside of the self. When your child takes the time to be inwardly aware, then s/he can maintain an open heart, allow emotions, and recognize and develop the authentic self. Teach your children the following skills: [Read more…]

Perfectionism

October 2, 2012 By Judy Lipson

Your sloppy, unmotivated child might actually be a perfectionist!

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The irony of perfectionists is that they are often the ones who appear uncaring and unwilling. They appear to have no, or low, standards yet the paradox is that they have set the bar so high that it can’t be achieved. Therefore they offer no effort or attempt given at all. After all, why try when success is unexpected?

Parents and educators observe: [Read more…]

Cyber Bullying

July 5, 2012 By Judy Lipson

Cyber bullying can result in anxiety, depression, social withdrawal, absenteeism and lower grades.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

There are too many children who feel inadequate and have low self-esteem as a result of bullying by their peers. As society recognizes the need for effective intervention, bullying has become even more menacing because of technology.

Cyber bullies use emails, text messages or social networking posts to send an inappropriate or vicious statement which then spreads rapidly to numerous people. Sometimes a student sends a private message or picture to another thinking it was safely sent to a friend, but in the wrong hands it can intentionally or accidentally be forwarded and, suddenly, one recipient becomes hundreds. Cyber bullying can even involve sexting – sending a sexually suggestive or explicit message or picture via text message.

Some adults have made light of cyber bullying since it is not face-to-face. [Read more…]

Anxiety in Children

April 1, 2011 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Does your child experience anxiety? It has become more common and at younger ages too. Anxiety shows itself in many ways. Some children become quiet and introverted. Others act angry. They may lose focus, display inattention or fidget –resembling ADHD. Many have headaches, stomach upset, etc. In school, some children experience test anxiety, difficulty with oral presentations, reluctance to attend school or they skip classes.

There are various possible causes for anxiety. It may be the result of challenges that your child has experienced. Some families recognize that anxiety seems to run in their family. Many people who are prone to feelings of anxiety are highly sensitive in all five senses. (Read Sensitive Children) [Read more…]

Hearing Your Own Voice; Owning Your Own Voice; Patience

When Fear and Anger Aren’t What They Seem

Transforming Fear

A LETTER TO YOUR INNER CHILD FROM YOUR HIGHEST WISDOM

Emotion: Anger is Not a Primary One

Reducing Stress and Anxiety

Perfectionism

Cyber Bullying

Anxiety in Children

Specialties

Recent Articles

Contact Information

Spiral Wisdom Newsletter