Educational

HIGHLY REACTIVE NERVOUS SYSTEMS AT SCHOOL AND WORK

February 18, 2024 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Individuals with highly sensitive nervous systems can become so emotionally and physically overwhelmed that they can’t participate in activities, even the ones that they would have otherwise enjoyed.

I am frequently asked how to help a super-sensory, highly sensitive student stay in class, or even to consistently attend school.

The first step is helping their educational staff, family, and potential employers to understand the challenges that these individuals’ nervous systems experience because of the constant bombardment to their five senses, and their own and others’ emotions. I write about this frequently in my monthly newsletters and have several articles devoted to this concept. If you are unfamiliar, I encourage you to read Neurosensitives and Sensory Overload and Mentoring and Parenting Sensitives.

It is only when we have a better understanding of the individual that we can relate to their experiences sufficiently to make the most appropriate adjustments to help them to have fewer reactive responses, and to appreciate and accept their need to step away.

Recently I was asked to attend a school meeting on behalf of a student. I have jotted down some generalizations that you might be able to use on behalf of your student. These concepts can also apply to a college student or an adult at work. Use these ideas and personalize them to your specific situation/individual. [Read more…]

The Process of Adulting, Post-High School

May 9, 2023 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

COLLEGE PREPARATION AND READINESS

Is your high school senior REALLY ready to go off to college? There are a number of things to consider when determining whether your child is ready for a successful college experience.

The following list will help you to determine your child’s readiness. And if your child is not yet a high school senior, consider assessing and working on these items over the next year in order to help your child to become prepared.

Consider:

What’s their ability to handle risk?
Are they successful when their family members are not orchestrating things on their behalf?
Can they take responsibility and learn from poor decisions
Are they able to manage their own time?
Do they know how to access supports and resources?
Can they cope with difficult feelings?
Do they know how to handle their own self care?
Who was the real director (you or your child) of this college admissions process?

Click here to read the original article by Grown and Flown in its entirety.

COLLEGE SELECTION [Read more…]

Find Your Truth: Re-Write the Messages That You Erroneously Learned in Childhood

June 11, 2022 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Many of the inaccuracies of your life were learned during childhood and especially the middle school years. I know it was true for me, and I have spoken to many pre-teens living it, adolescents learning that they can let it go, and adults who didn’t realize how many misrepresentations came from their childhoods and middle school/junior high years who are now learning to recover from these falsehoods by reframing their Truth.

Having had those experiences has helped to shape the type of work that I do. In fact, one of the most rewarding educational experiences I had was to teach classes of middle school students what to do if they encountered bullies. I taught them empowerment, how to use their voice, and to utilize physical, verbal, and energetic boundaries. (If you would like to learn these tips, read my article: Empower Your Child. All the concepts in this article can also be utilized by teens and adults.)

But let’s come back to those inaccuracies. What do I mean by that? Pay attention to the messages that you say within your own mind about yourself in any given day. It’s amazing how most of us would never say those things to another person, especially someone that we care about, yet we speak them to ourselves – in the silence of our minds – every single day. I’m suggesting that you pay attention to those messages, so that you might confront them with a healthier and more accurate viewpoint.

Here’s how it tends to happen: You started your life connected to ‘all that is’ without preconceived notions about others or yourself. In the beginning, there was pure joy and love. By your preschool years parents and teachers began the socializing process with messages like: ‘take turns’, ‘sit still’, ‘be quiet’, ‘don’t do that’, ‘be polite’, etc. Unfortunately, you may have interpreted this to mean that you were fundamentally ‘not ok’.

If you struggled in elementary school academically or socially you may have internalized the ‘not okay’ message further, even if no one was judging or comparing. Subsequently, middle-school [Read more…]

AUTISM ACCEPTANCE

March 19, 2022 By Judy Lipson

Let’s All Strive to Move from Autism Awareness to Autism Acceptance!

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I hope that one of the reasons that you follow my work is to continue to understand various ‘differences’ from a more expansive view. This article is about autism. It’s when we understand the “why” of something that we can truly learn to accept it for what it is. Autism is not a condition to cure, but rather it is a series of conditions that causes or allows the individual to interact with their inner and outer environment differently. Sometimes this brings about challenges, but that’s most frequently due to our rigid societal expectations and assumptions. Let’s all learn to recognize the aspects, and see the gifts that are part of this spectrum, so that we no longer view it as a “disorder”.

Q: What is autism?
A: Autism isn’t one condition. It’s a collection of related conditions that are so intertwined and so impossible to pick apart, that professionals have stopped trying. If you only check one or two boxes, then they don’t call it autism, they call it something else. Here’s a graphic of the various aspects. Remember that autism is a spectrum condition. Some individuals with autism (sometimes referred to as autistics) have less of one of these issues, or it may no longer be apparent. According to the DSM-5, autism is a life-long condition that can ease in intensity and life-challenging ways, but it doesn’t go away. And remember: If you’ve met one person with autism, then you’ve met ONE person with autism.

Q: Is the person ‘an individual with autism’ or ‘autistic’?
A: That’s actually a good question and you will get differing responses. Initially we referred to these folks as autistics. Then perspectives about disabilities changed and it was considered most appropriate to see them as individuals who are not defined by autism, but rather who have autism (recognizing that they have many other facets to define them). I work with a lot of folks on the spectrum, from many age groups, and am frequently told that they recognize how autism informs their daily lives, and thus very positively and proudly define themselves as autistic (along with their other descriptors of spouse, parent, employee, artist, writer, etc.)

Q: I hear that it is harder to identify girls and women on the spectrum.
A: It does seem to be more difficult since females present differently than males.

All the literature, clients that I talk to, and my experiences with my own clients acknowledge that recognizing and diagnosing autism in those who are born female can be more challenging. Some believe it’s because many girls seem to intrinsically find it easier to mimic peers as well as others’ socialization. Additionally, they are less likely to have the same types of areas of interests as their male counterparts, so their identity on the spectrum is less recognized.

My intention in this section is to provide you with a variety of links that can better inform you. I hope you find this information beneficial. I encourage you to reach out with questions, and to let me know about any professionals that you have met who are adept at diagnosing ASD in the AFAB (assigned female at birth) population.

From the article, Why Do Many Autistic Girls Go Undiagnosed? by the Child Mind Institute: [Read more…]

Coming out of Sanctuary

March 30, 2021 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I talk to a lot of people – friends, colleagues, and clients – and I watch the patterns of conversation. Over the last few months, we have talked a lot about the shift away from social isolation toward finding ease in returning to a more active way of life (while maintaining masks, hygiene, and proper distancing as recommended by the CDC). Initially, these conversations were to provide preparation for when that time would come.

Recently, more adults have received their COVID-19 vaccines, and students and staff have returned to school. These conversations have now taken on more of a timely need and an urgency.

Not surprisingly, a number of people are delighted to return to activities and events that are more reminiscent of times pre-pandemic. Others have expressed that they have felt quite comfortable with some, or many, aspects of the life that they have experienced over this last year and are struggling to make the shift.

This article is written for this latter group. If you are one of these people who looks back at this last year with a partial or complete thought of: please don’t mess with me now! then this article is for you. If you have always (or are now) struggling with general anxiety or social anxiety, this is for you. If you are not personally resonating with this concept, I still encourage you to read it so you can better understand your students, colleagues, friends, and family members. I’ve also included some tips to help you or them to venture out.

WHAT WE ARE EXPERIENCING

No two people are the same so not everyone will describe it the same way, but here is what I’ve been hearing, and it may not be what you expect. What you probably think is that folks are scared of contracting COVID-19, but actually most people do NOT quote their concern of developing COVID as their primary reason for their reluctance to venture back to activities. [Read more…]

Late Bloomers

October 21, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

“So called ‘late-bloomers’ get a bad rap. Sometimes the people with the greatest potential often take the longest to find their path because their sensitivity is a double edged sword – it lives at the heart of their brilliance, but it also makes them more susceptible to life’s pains. Good thing we aren’t being penalized for handing in our purpose late. The soul doesn’t know a thing about deadlines.” Jeff Brown

When many parents bring their kids to see me, we discuss their children’s unique and wonderful traits. Yet many of these children are challenged to live their magnificence in the educational system in which they are provided. As a result, their parents, doctors, teachers, and others label them and sometimes even chastise or shame them for “not fitting in”. This experience often burdens these children for years after they have left their education behind. (I know because I often meet them as adults.)

The lucky ones [Read more…]

HIPPIES, INDIGOS, CRYSTAL CHILDREN, AND BEYOND

May 30, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Are the generations evolving?

Who are these young people who are changing paradigms?

I’m technically part of the Baby Boomer generation. As teens and young adults many of us were called hippies. Though I was aware of hippies during my teen years and wore a few hippie-type outfits (although a true hippie would have scoffed), I know I was not a hippie. But I did agree with many of our generation’s mottos, particularly: “Question authority”, and “Make love, not war”. We were very proud of ourselves for seeing the world differently, and not bowing to the establishment’s pre-conceived notions. We really believed things would be different and that we were the ones to make that happen.

Fast-forward to the subsequent generations. The Center for Generational Kinetics believes that “generations are not cute stories or catchy memes, but groupings of people who help us to see them and the world differently – and more clearly. They make their mark on society and history.” According to the Center:

Baby Boomers were born 1946-1964
Gen X was born 1965 to 1976
Millenials (also called Gen Y) are currently the largest group of employees and consumers and were born 1977 to 1995
Gen Z was born 1996 to the present.This group is recognized by the fact that 9/11 has always been a memory to them.

Unfortunately, Gen Z seems to have another tragedy in common as well. As I listen to today’s children and teens, one key component of their life is that they all have been affected by the 1999 mass shooting at Columbine High School. These students’ school experiences [Read more…]

Maslow’s Hierarchy and the 7 Major Chakras

March 20, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs has always fascinated me. The premise is that you must have your Physiological needs (food, water, breath, sleep), and your safety needs (employment, health, prosperity) met before you have the ability to adequately experience Love/belonging (friendship, family). Once these three aspects of the hierarchy have been attained you can reach Esteem (confidence, achievement, respect of and by others, self-esteem), and ultimately Self-actualization (morality, creativity, spontaneity, life’s meaning). Maslow believes everyone seeks self-actualization though it may not always be achieved.

Educators recognize that basic needs must be met for effective education to take place, and that the brain’s mechanism for protection (the amygdala) decreases learning in a hungry, worried or frightened child. To approach this problem systemically many districts are now creating trauma-informed schools, which provide a layered approach for safety and healing. (TraumaAwareSchools.org) These trauma-informed schools are appropriate for all socio-economic areas and also support neuro-sensitives who deal with the continuous “little t” traumas of sensory overload.

Chakras

The seven major chakras:

1^st – the Root chakra is at the base of your torso. It is your connection to your tribe and relates to security, abandonment by the group, and physical survival.

2^nd – the Sacral or abdominal chakra relates to your relationships with family and others, and financial security.

3^rd – the Solar plexus chakra is just above the navel. This chakra deals with your relationship with yourself: personal power, honoring the self, etc.

4^th – the Heart chakra is in the center of your chest. It is your connection to love – for self and others.

5^th – the Throat chakra is in the front of your neck and deals with your ability to speak your truth. It also relates to will. (Do you yield your power too willingly to others? Do you adequately support your own needs? Do you exert your power too strongly?)

6^th – the Third Eye chakra is located between and just above your eyes in the center of your forehead. This chakra is identified as your connection to intuition and introspection.

7^th – the Crown chakra is located at the top of your head and connects you to that which you call the Divine.

If you are interested in learning more about chakras, there are numerous books and websites.

Chakras and Maslow’s Hierarchy [Read more…]

Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload

January 30, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Recent statistics indicate that 1 in 68 children are on the autism spectrum; however autistics are not the only ones who experience sensory overload.

It is very likely that you know someone professionally, in your social group, or in your family who is neuro-sensitive. Sensitives can be autistic or neuro-typical (without autism). Over the years in my practice I have seen many children and adults who are neuro-sensitive. As their prevalence increases, so does their sensory awareness and responsiveness.

There is much speculation as to why there are more individuals who experience the world in this way. It could be evolutionary, neurological or the additives, drugs and pesticides in our food network.

Regardless of the cause, with the increasing number of individuals affected, there is a responsibility to learn how to best support Sensitives. There are a number of traditional approaches provided by occupational therapists, behaviorists, and speech and language therapists. There are also less-conventional approaches. I wrote about these in Setting Boundaries and Energy Cleansing.

You are encouraged to increase your awareness of the many situations that can create difficulties for the neuro-sensitives in your life so that you can support that individual or help to bring about systems change.

SCHOOLS

Kids spend the majority of their day in these environments for twelve or more years. We can reduce their sensory impact and ease their experiences.

LIGHT SENSITIVITY: Fluorescent lighting creates visual and auditory challenges. Highly sensitive individuals are bothered by the pulsations that fluorescents emit, as well as the sound from light ballasts. Light sensitivity can also affect reading: ease, accuracy, memory, concentration, and comprehension. Using natural or incandescent lighting in schools and at home can increase your child’s relaxation, reading skills, and even their willingness to do homework.

RECESS AND PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Weak muscle tone and poor coordination increase the likelihood that sports and team activities may not be [Read more…]

Multi-Dimensional Children in our One-Dimensional World

July 29, 2016 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

If you have been reading my articles, you already know the terms Indigo, Crystal and Star Children. These children (and adults) whose traits include being wise, intuitive and caring, often seem like old souls. I also recognize their growing multi-dimensional qualities. They know the importance of peace, love, acceptance, and unity for all beings – human and otherwise – and for Earth herself.

Being multi-dimensional means being aware of dimensions that many others are not yet aware. One dimension that is recognized is the energy within and around us. Perceiving this energy as thought, images or sounds, and accessing information from your inner and outer environment, including across time and space, brings a wider range of knowledge.

What happens if you are one-dimensional, with minimal to no awareness of the additional information, or even its availability, and your child or student is multi-dimensional? I’m noting in my practice that these children realize that they can access more knowledge and subconsciously believe they must take care of their parent, constantly monitoring the adult’s comfort levels and feeling immense responsibility for the well-being of their parent. This is not a healthy situation for the child, the parent, or the relationship.

Does your child act like he or she needs to take care of you? This pattern can be changed.

I have had the privilege of counseling children and pre-teens that attend sessions with their parents. [Read more…]

HIGHLY REACTIVE NERVOUS SYSTEMS AT SCHOOL AND WORK

The Process of Adulting, Post-High School

Find Your Truth: Re-Write the Messages That You Erroneously Learned in Childhood

Late Bloomers

HIPPIES, INDIGOS, CRYSTAL CHILDREN, AND BEYOND

Maslow’s Hierarchy and the 7 Major Chakras

Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload

Multi-Dimensional Children in our One-Dimensional World

Does your child act like he or she needs to take care of you? This pattern can be changed.

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