Judith E. Lipson, M.A.

Licensed Professional Counselor / Trainer / Facilitator

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Transformation – Resiliency

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By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Many professionals describe resilience as the ability of a child or individual to respond successfully to their life’s challenges.

Do you know people who have faced repeated adversity yet live a happy, successful life? People who come to mind include Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, Oprah (poverty and abuse) and child abuse survivor Dave Pelzer (author of A Child Called It). Resiliency is an individual’s ability to cope with stress and adversity by bouncing back. Though often assumed to be a magic trait that you have or you don’t, it is now recognized as something that can be developed.

And right now, during the novel coronavirus pandemic, people are talking about resilience with regularity.

The following are appropriate for you or your children:

  • Develop your decision-making skills, assertiveness, independence, impulse control, and problem solving.
  • Have a sense of humor. Laugh in the face of adversity by enjoying funny jokes and movies.
  • Improve your confidence by acknowledging what you are good at and valuing your self-worth.
  • Increase your coping resources such as nutrition, exercise and meditation to reduce stress as well as increase resilience.
  • Share your troubles with friends and professionals for solutions, resources and perspective.
  • Be grateful for what you do have and appreciate the simple things in life.
  • Take action, no matter how small.
  • Be of service to others. Happiness and well-being are enhanced when you engage in an act of kindness.

Recognize that most of life’s hardships are temporary. When you can’t change something outside yourself, even a life-changing event can be viewed differently by changing your internal response to the event. [Read more…]

TRANSFORMATION (During Coronavirus) – OPPORTUNITIES

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By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The challenge: For generations we have run from the stillness and the silence. Though many of us have been able to enjoy the occasional “quiet” that nature can provide, the majority of people feel threatened when encountering any stillness or silence because of their own inner noise. This inner chatter can be deafening due to the quality of the chatter: There is an inordinate amount of judgment. The judgment towards other people is bad enough, especially for those who really do wish to be compassionate towards others, but the inner judgment that is directed to oneself is frightening and damaging.

Why is it that we condemn ourselves at every turn and with every possibility? Sometimes when you look back at your history you can see how the patterns were established within your family. You can also see the patterns that have been established and perpetuated from our society, including the belief that we live in a world of scarcity. We have each been led to believe that there truly is not enough to go around. We think that if you have something then I will not have enough. We think that if you have toilet paper (chuckle), then there won’t be enough for me. And it isn’t just the tangible items that we feel we need to collect. This also applies to the other aspects of our life that are so important, like freedom, power, comfort and love.

The opportunity: Production and movement have slowed. The world is quieter. News clips, from before re-opening, showed empty roads with a solitary pedestrian or car. Folks in faraway communities have been talking about the ability to see the sky and the land. I read that there’s a section of the Himalayas that is suddenly visible from a far away city, and multiple cities that had been beleaguered by pollution are now viewing clearer skies.

If you’ve been fortunate to recognize the good news during this pandemic, you can see and hear the signs of people who are transforming. The compassion for our fellow man is present. Like those before us who have been called to the front lines of a war to protect their families and community, our own front-liners have stepped forward. These are of course our healthcare workers and first-responders who put their families and their own lives on the line every day to protect each of us. But the lesser-known acts of service are also apparent: I read of an animal shelter that managed to find homes for every pet. There are people who are dealing with their own financial or food insecurity who are helping to support those who are less fortunate. I am also deeply moved by the various agencies and companies that are now collaborating together in an unprecedented way to find solutions and cures for us all.

When I see these stories I know I am witnessing the shift. [Read more…]

Late Bloomers

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By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

“So called ‘late-bloomers’ get a bad rap. Sometimes the people with the greatest potential often take the longest to find their path because their sensitivity is a double edged sword – it lives at the heart of their brilliance, but it also makes them more susceptible to life’s pains. Good thing we aren’t being penalized for handing in our purpose late. The soul doesn’t know a thing about deadlines.”  Jeff Brown

When many parents bring their kids to see me, we discuss their children’s unique and wonderful traits. Yet many of these children are challenged to live their magnificence in the educational system in which they are provided. As a result, their parents, doctors, teachers, and others label them and sometimes even chastise or shame them for “not fitting in”. This experience often burdens these children for years after they have left their education behind. (I know because I often meet them as adults.)

The lucky ones [Read more…]

Living With Discord and Finding Equanimity

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By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Discord is defined as a disagreement or lack of agreement. However, in the context of this article, discord refers to the emotional discomfort that you feel when what you want is not congruent to what is happening within or around you.

What do you do when you don’t like what’s happening and you can’t control the outcome? (This might be because you can’t control it, or because it’s not your place to do so, or because you don’t have permission.) Do you then select a different part of your life to grab hold of and hang on to tightly? More so do you actually think, pretend, or assume that you have now gained mastery over the events that your unconscious knows you really can’t control? And importantly, do you realize that this is what is happening?

I have talked with many clients about these experiences. The vast majority don’t even recognize all these aspects at a conscious level until it is discussed. In fact, it is not uncommon for an individual to focus on an event or a relationship, recognizing the discord there, when the primary source of discord is something else completely.

Have you noticed feeling strong emotions over an event, and you or others are surprised at your extreme reaction? In fact, the real area of discord is likely something else – for instance, unfinished grief from the loss of a loved one, a job, or a move.

Here are a few examples to help you begin to recognize the layers of discord:

  • Your focus is on the recalcitrant child, but the underlying discord is with a spouse, boss or other adult.
  • You are hyper-vigilant about your child’s rather normal developmental event, but through conversations it becomes apparent that the real area of concern is the health of your own parent, the status of your employment, or some other fear.
  • Social, political or natural events are overwhelming you and you try to find the small areas of your life where you can maintain a sense of control.

This is not meant to minimize any of the emotionally charged events, or your responses. I am encouraging you to [Read more…]

Neuro-Sensitives and Frequencies

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By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t until recently that I learned that if I sit in a ‘mindful’ state and think of people or locations that I know well, I can “feel” each individual or space differently. I’ve come to think of this as being able to identify their primary, or signature, frequency. I realized then (at least at this level of my understanding) that each living thing and environment has its own frequency.

The majority of us move unthinkingly through life, interacting with each other and all the other things around us without this recognition. Yet we are all affected by these interactions, whether imperceptibly or noticeably. If you are an energy-aware individual you probably realize this, though you might not have thought of it in these terms.

To explore this awareness try the following exercise:

Quiet your mind and think of an individual you know well. Imagine in your mind how it feels to be in their presence. Don’t overthink this exercise and don’t spend a long time thinking about the person. Whether or not you have this awareness yet, release your attention on this person, and think of a different person now. See if there might be a subtle difference in how the energies feel. Shift back to the first, and then to the second. If you‘d like you can switch your attention now to a third and then fourth individual, or even a pet.

You are not seeking how they feel emotionally, nor how your emotions feel in their presence, you are sensing the subtle vibration/frequency that you recognize as you bring your awareness to each. As you switch your attention from one being to the other, you might notice the subtle shifts that occur in your awareness, even if you can’t yet identify what it feels like. Sensing that there is a difference may be all that you get.

Now try this same exercise, but with locations that you have visited – specific cities, favorite landmarks, types of geographic areas.

Play with the exercise. You are potentially developing awareness. Please don’t judge yourself if you can’t do it. Maybe you are still developing your intuitive muscles, or maybe my instructions didn’t match your learning style.

Hopefully this exercise has made you more aware of the subtleties that people sense around them, whether you understand it at the thought level or experience it at the energy level.

As I work with the continuum of neuro-sensitive individuals [Read more…]

Maslow’s Hierarchy and the 7 Major Chakras

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By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs has always fascinated me. The premise is that you must have your Physiological needs (food, water, breath, sleep), and your safety needs (employment, health, prosperity) met before you have the ability to adequately experience Love/belonging (friendship, family). Once these three aspects of the hierarchy have been attained you can reach Esteem (confidence, achievement, respect of and by others, self-esteem), and ultimately Self-actualization (morality, creativity, spontaneity, life’s meaning). Maslow believes everyone seeks self-actualization though it may not always be achieved.

Educators recognize that basic needs must be met for effective education to take place, and that the brain’s mechanism for protection (the amygdala) decreases learning in a hungry, worried or frightened child. To approach this problem systemically many districts are now creating trauma-informed schools, which provide a layered approach for safety and healing. (TraumaAwareSchools.org) These trauma-informed schools are appropriate for all socio-economic areas and also support neuro-sensitives who deal with the continuous “little t” traumas of sensory overload.

Chakras

The seven major chakras:

1st – the Root chakra is at the base of your torso. It is your connection to your tribe and relates to security, abandonment by the group, and physical survival.

2nd – the Sacral or abdominal chakra relates to your relationships with family and others, and financial security.

3rd – the Solar plexus chakra is just above the navel. This chakra deals with your relationship with yourself: personal power, honoring the self, etc.

4th – the Heart chakra is in the center of your chest. It is your connection to love – for self and others.

5th – the Throat chakra is in the front of your neck and deals with your ability to speak your truth. It also relates to will. (Do you yield your power too willingly to others? Do you adequately support your own needs? Do you exert your power too strongly?)

6th – the Third Eye chakra is located between and just above your eyes in the center of your forehead. This chakra is identified as your connection to intuition and introspection.

7th – the Crown chakra is located at the top of your head and connects you to that which you call the Divine.

If you are interested in learning more about chakras, there are numerous books and websites.

Chakras and Maslow’s Hierarchy [Read more…]

Sensitives: Tantrum Or Meltdown?

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By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Last month’s article, Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload, focused on how parents and professionals can reduce the sensory burden that neuro-sensitive children and adults experience every day of every week during various activities in their lives: medical, social, entertainment, school, shopping, etc.

As a continuation of that information, this month’s article will focus on the resulting behaviors that occur when the Sensitive, or their parent/professional, cannot adequately reduce the overwhelming level of sensory input. Certainly different individuals have different tolerances, but sensitives and empaths who understand this phenomenon, and can communicate it, have all described their meltdowns, or of recognizing its approach.

For non-Sensitives, even those who conceptually understand empathy, it may be hard to understand that someone can experience this extent of sensory sensitivity. As a result, since many parents and professionals can’t see it coming, they don’t know how to recognize these sensory meltdowns. In fact, frequently it is assumed that the individual is having a temper tantrum. However, tantrums and meltdowns are triggered by different things and require different responses.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TANTRUMS AND MELTDOWNS

STEP ONE: UNDERSTAND SENSORY OVERLOAD

Sensitive children are hyper-aware of their surroundings. To better understand their experience, think about the input that they receive from all five senses, and realize that they have minimal ability to decrease or minimize it. Additionally, they are often intuitive, and as empaths they are highly aware of others’ emotions to the point that they feel these emotions in their own bodies.

Unfortunately most empaths don’t realize this is occurring. They either assume they are feeling an intensification of their own emotions, or they just react. Empaths who understand what’s occurring describe their experiences as more than empathy. (Empathy is described as, “I can imagine how it must be for you.”)

Here are some statements that empaths have told me to describe being an empath: [Read more…]

Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload

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By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Recent statistics indicate that 1 in 68 children are on the autism spectrum; however autistics are not the only ones who experience sensory overload.

It is very likely that you know someone professionally, in your social group, or in your family who is neuro-sensitive. Sensitives can be autistic or neuro-typical (without autism). Over the years in my practice I have seen many children and adults who are neuro-sensitive. As their prevalence increases, so does their sensory awareness and responsiveness.

There is much speculation as to why there are more individuals who experience the world in this way. It could be evolutionary, neurological or the additives, drugs and pesticides in our food network.

Regardless of the cause, with the increasing number of individuals affected, there is a responsibility to learn how to best support Sensitives. There are a number of traditional approaches provided by occupational therapists, behaviorists, and speech and language therapists. There are also less-conventional approaches. I wrote about these in Setting Boundaries and Energy Cleansing.

You are encouraged to increase your awareness of the many situations that can create difficulties for the neuro-sensitives in your life so that you can support that individual or help to bring about systems change.

SCHOOLS

Kids spend the majority of their day in these environments for twelve or more years. We can reduce their sensory impact and ease their experiences.

LIGHT SENSITIVITY: Fluorescent lighting creates visual and auditory challenges. Highly sensitive individuals are bothered by the pulsations that fluorescents emit, as well as the sound from light ballasts. Light sensitivity can also affect reading: ease, accuracy, memory, concentration, and comprehension. Using natural or incandescent lighting in schools and at home can increase your child’s relaxation, reading skills, and even their willingness to do homework.

RECESS AND PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Weak muscle tone and poor coordination increase the likelihood that sports and team activities may not be [Read more…]

Shadow Work

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By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

If you’ve ever been involved in therapy or self-improvement you have unknowingly been involved with your shadows. Additionally, you might be surprised to know that if you have ever been angry with another person, you were likely interacting with your own shadow in that situation.

The shadow is that part of you that you’d prefer to not admit to or look at. Interestingly, after doing your shadow-work you may find it easier to accept your human-ness, and even accept your imperfections, and yourself, as being ‘just perfect’.

Shadow work may seem like the hardest work that you have ever done, but it is also the most profound for providing insightful life-changing transformations. Here are techniques to begin your shadow-work.

Since many people want to ease into making life-changes, you can begin with the more traditional self-improvement efforts that you’ve already considered. Are any of your actions now habits that are not serving a beneficial purpose? Do you want to take control of that now? Dealing with these issues will familiarize you with the process of making changes and allow you to realize that though there might be emotional discomfort, it is temporary. Confidence and security are paramount when you are addressing the tough issues that you wish you didn’t see – your shadows.

When you have adequately tackled one or more of those habits/behaviors and are ready to dig deeper, consider the following questions that were shared at a recent retreat by Karlta Zarley to identify a potential shadow issue for your exploration.

  • What is no longer needed?
  • What is no longer wanted?
  • What is no longer in your best interest?
  • What are you afraid to look at?
  • What have you never even considered?
  • What is not tangible, yet you still know it’s important (for instance, an intuitive knowing)?
  • What have you not seen at all (obviously one of the hardest to find)?

Although shadow work can seem daunting, [Read more…]

A Time of Great Change

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One seemingly common thread across the U.S., and across political parties has been the desire for change. This article is not about politics, or those differences.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

We humans are a funny lot. Oftentimes we appropriately complain about our situation – relationship, family, work status, coworkers, etc – and we hope that it will change. But when the opportunity for change actually arises, there is a tendency for the individual to retreat as a fear response, and continue with what is familiar.

I have been fascinated by the acceleration of change that has been taking place over the last decade or more. I have witnessed this acceleration of change in my own life, as well as in my clients’. Children and adults arrive for counseling for a particular reason, yet often learn that there is an underlying frustration or a lack of congruence between their inner self/goals and their outer actions. I help clients to align the two and to tolerate the lack of ease that they temporarily experience in the meantime.

I’ve seen many children and adults over the last few decades who are feeling a pull to something different and know that there is something more. Are you one of them? Here’s what you might be experiencing: [Read more…]

SPIRAL WISDOM LLC

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor supporting ADHD, Anxiety, Autism Spectrum/Aspergers as well as those who wish to explore their Life’s Purpose. Judy provides Counseling, Educational Consultations, Academic Support and Presentations/Workshops.

Make an appointment with Judy to develop effective Strategies, Improve Motivation and Self-Esteem, develop Advocacy and Empowerment, identify Accommodations for IEPs and 504 Plans, understand Sensitives and Become Who You Really Are.

Make an Appointment

Specialties

  • Anxiety
  • ADHD
  • Autism and Aspergers Syndrome
  • Empowerment and Advocacy
  • Sensitives
  • Guided Imagery
  • Transformational Counseling
 

Recent Articles

Psychology Today ACA

Contact Information

Judy Lipson, M.A., LPC
Spiral Wisdom LLC
Phone: (248) 568-8665
judylipson@spiralwisdom.net

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