Personal Improvement

It’s All About the Energy

August 31, 2019 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

All of us are energy, we are surrounded by energy, and we interact with it all as we attune to the energy within and outside ourselves. Some individuals are more aware of this attunement. I call these individuals, myself included, Sensitives. We are highly attuned to the five senses as well as energy, intuition and empathy. Others refer to us as Neuro-Sensitives or Neuro-Diverse. Some of these Sensitives are diagnosed with autism. In a recent course with Awesomism founder Suzy Miller I learned some new aspects for consideration.

Are you familiar with the book The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto? In his fascinating study he placed water in a number of bottles and labeled them with words like love, war, peace, anger, etc. When he later looked at the water under a microscope he found that water that had been exposed to loving words showed brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns, while water exposed to negative words formed incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors. As a result of his study and the visual images, we can better understand how words affect energy, and thus ourselves and each other.

When you realize that everything is energy, it opens up interesting options for you to address certain issues. For instance, let’s imagine that you are a teacher and you are having difficulty [Read more…]

Relationships

January 29, 2019 By Judy Lipson

Whether you are in a romantic relationship or are examining your friendships, there are certain guiding principles to consider

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

SELF-WORTH

When you find yourself complaining about the people in your life, it may be time to take a look at the self that you bring to relationships. When you improve your self-worth, you are better able to bring your best self to any relationship!

Be strong!

Don’t betray yourself and don’t negotiate your integrity. Compromise is fine when it is done willingly, but don’t agree to something to be “the nice person”.
Advertise your strength: Whether seated or standing hold yourself tall, use a confident voice, breathe from your power center (your solar plexus located above the navel), feel as if your feet are firmly connected to Earth, draw your shoulders down away from your ears.
Know who you are so that you can attract those you want (friends, partners, business associates).
Don’t settle. Don’t tolerate another’s disrespect.
Respect yourself and make this clear to others by how you dress, move and speak.
Your Inner Child might be cautious or angry because of past events. Take care of yourself and your Inner Child will respond. Treat him/her compassionately and assure the Inner Child that s/he is safe now.

When your inner-self (who you are and how you really feel) is in alliance with your outer-self (the person that presents to others), others will respond to your authenticity and you will draw more people of quality into your life. Actively increase your friend base by bringing people into your life that make you happy and support you, just as you support them.

REDEFINING RELATIONSHIPS

Want to change the dynamics of a friendship that you now realize is not good for you, but you still need (or want) to be in relationship with them? The tendency is to look at how the other has harmed you, disrespected you, or used you. And while all that may be true, I encourage you to see how you can affect this relationship. Boundaries are more about you and your expectation than about the other individual. When YOU have the expectation, YOU know that you are defining this relationship differently. This will bring you that authentic ‘power’, which has always been yours.

To actively begin to create this change, [Read more…]

Understanding Empaths: Energy, Frequencies and Vibrations

November 28, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The more I understand about empaths, the more I learn concepts that I had never considered. Please read to the end for the newest information.

Empaths experience more than empathy. Empaths not only care about the others’ feelings, but also feel the other’s physical sensations and/or emotions in their own being. It’s a wonderful gift and is especially prominent in those who serve in the healing professions; yet this gift is often accompanied by the challenges that can arise when one feels deeply, intensely and expansively.

Unfortunately our society doesn’t talk about it (thereby normalizing it), nor do we teach our children to understand, accept and foster this gift, thus minimizing potential challenges.

How I have approached the challenges:

Cognitively: It is not your role to take in the fullness of another’s experience so that they may be spared their own distress. As a healer (medical, spiritual, or even as a friend), you only need enough information to know what the individual experiences in order to direct them, or your healing modality, to their healing. For this to happen, you only need a little information. Think filling a thimble instead of a bathtub.
Energetically: Now that you understand ‘why’ you needn’t bring it all in to you, it is often important to know how to modulate the entry. I use the visual model of the whale or dolphin’s blowhole, which opens after coming to the surface of the water, and closes before diving again. Since it is most likely that you access others’ energetic information at your gut, close your eyes and try to identify the size of your own ‘blowhole’. Then try closing it a bit, and opening it again. Just play with the idea and use your imagination. See how you feel when you are more open, and see if you feel differently when it’s more closed. Play with the concept and see what size works best for you, in this moment. Please note that some folks like a different concept for modulating their energy intake. Consider a screen/weave, or a color that is translucent (pink) to opaque (red). I have also had kids and adults choose ocean waves, firewalls (computer security concept), selectively permeable membranes (biology – cell membrane), force fields (Star Trek), and other ideas. Find what works for you.

During the last year, I have had clients (a couple adults, and even a 7 year old) who felt certain that it is their job to take others’ discomforts. They were not deterred by the teachings described above. So we took the following approach:

If it is indeed your role to be the receptacle, must you KEEP their stuff for them? As these individuals acknowledged, from their own intuitive knowing, that they are to be the receptacle, but not maintain the input, they have used guided imagery to remove from their own system what has already accumulated. They instantly felt better.
Can you create a way where you remain the receptacle, helping others to release, but then set a ‘drain’ within you for continual release from your own energy field? All of this is done with intention and imagination. See what resonates for you as you acknowledge your ‘receptacle’ and ‘drain’. The technique(s) that you develop today might change in the near or distant future.

Recently, I have been learning about energy frequencies and vibrations. It only partially reflects the procedures and explanations that I have previously taught about energy modulation. It is raw, and there is more for me to learn, but I’ll share it with you now:

When information is shared, received and interpreted, all at the level of frequency, there is less chance for misunderstanding (every stage of transmutation risks altering the message). [Read more…]

Late Bloomers

October 21, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

“So called ‘late-bloomers’ get a bad rap. Sometimes the people with the greatest potential often take the longest to find their path because their sensitivity is a double edged sword – it lives at the heart of their brilliance, but it also makes them more susceptible to life’s pains. Good thing we aren’t being penalized for handing in our purpose late. The soul doesn’t know a thing about deadlines.” Jeff Brown

When many parents bring their kids to see me, we discuss their children’s unique and wonderful traits. Yet many of these children are challenged to live their magnificence in the educational system in which they are provided. As a result, their parents, doctors, teachers, and others label them and sometimes even chastise or shame them for “not fitting in”. This experience often burdens these children for years after they have left their education behind. (I know because I often meet them as adults.)

The lucky ones [Read more…]

Recognize Yourself in the Mirror of Others

September 20, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

“They’re meant to be mirrors for us, always reflecting back what we need to see. The question is: Do you want to look in this mirror, and be open to what you need to learn, or simply pretend it’s not there and pass it by?” John Holland

I have always found human interactions fascinating, and in my work with clients I can observe and address the many layers of relationships that are occurring. Here’s a sample.

Mirror One: Imago wounds

Some intimate relationships are based on the premise that Dr. Harville Hendrix teaches in his book Getting the Love You Want, A Guide for Couples. Dr. Hendrix, and his Imago Relationship Therapy process, teaches that individuals often select partners who resemble (closely or distantly) the key people, usually from childhood, who created emotional wounds. The premise says that your inner child may have selected someone who subconsciously reminds them of this individual, but this time the inner child is hoping it will not experience similar wounds, seemingly healing the original wounded relationship. Dr. Hendrix further teaches that these relationships (when there is no danger of abuse) can be places to heal, but only when both partners are conscious of the relationship and how they trigger each other. This foundation is paramount to following his additional strategies, and achieving understanding and healing.

Mirror Two: Looking outward to see inward

Ending relationships, whether friendships or romantic partners, can be challenging. I’ve observed some individuals believe their peace, confidence, good experiences, and inner feelings are due to the ‘other’. I’ve watched them [Read more…]

Living With Discord and Finding Equanimity

August 22, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Discord is defined as a disagreement or lack of agreement. However, in the context of this article, discord refers to the emotional discomfort that you feel when what you want is not congruent to what is happening within or around you.

What do you do when you don’t like what’s happening and you can’t control the outcome? (This might be because you can’t control it, or because it’s not your place to do so, or because you don’t have permission.) Do you then select a different part of your life to grab hold of and hang on to tightly? More so do you actually think, pretend, or assume that you have now gained mastery over the events that your unconscious knows you really can’t control? And importantly, do you realize that this is what is happening?

I have talked with many clients about these experiences. The vast majority don’t even recognize all these aspects at a conscious level until it is discussed. In fact, it is not uncommon for an individual to focus on an event or a relationship, recognizing the discord there, when the primary source of discord is something else completely.

Have you noticed feeling strong emotions over an event, and you or others are surprised at your extreme reaction? In fact, the real area of discord is likely something else – for instance, unfinished grief from the loss of a loved one, a job, or a move.

Here are a few examples to help you begin to recognize the layers of discord:

Your focus is on the recalcitrant child, but the underlying discord is with a spouse, boss or other adult.
You are hyper-vigilant about your child’s rather normal developmental event, but through conversations it becomes apparent that the real area of concern is the health of your own parent, the status of your employment, or some other fear.
Social, political or natural events are overwhelming you and you try to find the small areas of your life where you can maintain a sense of control.

This is not meant to minimize any of the emotionally charged events, or your responses. I am encouraging you to [Read more…]

Neuro-Sensitives and Frequencies

July 21, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t until recently that I learned that if I sit in a ‘mindful’ state and think of people or locations that I know well, I can “feel” each individual or space differently. I’ve come to think of this as being able to identify their primary, or signature, frequency. I realized then (at least at this level of my understanding) that each living thing and environment has its own frequency.

The majority of us move unthinkingly through life, interacting with each other and all the other things around us without this recognition. Yet we are all affected by these interactions, whether imperceptibly or noticeably. If you are an energy-aware individual you probably realize this, though you might not have thought of it in these terms.

To explore this awareness try the following exercise:

Quiet your mind and think of an individual you know well. Imagine in your mind how it feels to be in their presence. Don’t overthink this exercise and don’t spend a long time thinking about the person. Whether or not you have this awareness yet, release your attention on this person, and think of a different person now. See if there might be a subtle difference in how the energies feel. Shift back to the first, and then to the second. If you‘d like you can switch your attention now to a third and then fourth individual, or even a pet.

You are not seeking how they feel emotionally, nor how your emotions feel in their presence, you are sensing the subtle vibration/frequency that you recognize as you bring your awareness to each. As you switch your attention from one being to the other, you might notice the subtle shifts that occur in your awareness, even if you can’t yet identify what it feels like. Sensing that there is a difference may be all that you get.

Now try this same exercise, but with locations that you have visited – specific cities, favorite landmarks, types of geographic areas.

Play with the exercise. You are potentially developing awareness. Please don’t judge yourself if you can’t do it. Maybe you are still developing your intuitive muscles, or maybe my instructions didn’t match your learning style.

Hopefully this exercise has made you more aware of the subtleties that people sense around them, whether you understand it at the thought level or experience it at the energy level.

As I work with the continuum of neuro-sensitive individuals [Read more…]

Are You Looking For Your Soul-Directed Mission?

June 25, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

What is a mission? Interestingly, the Oxford Dictionary offers a variety of definitions. The first is an important assignment carried out for political, religious, or commercial purposes. This is not my preferred definition. On the surface it doesn’t sound problematic, but I prefer the third definition of mission: a strongly felt aim, ambition, or calling.

Over the years I have had an opportunity to speak to many adults. Many are sensing something significant that they are pursuing, and a desire to follow this important path that they are feeling. They have suspected its existence since they were young. The children and teens that I speak to also talk of their mission for this lifetime. What is especially extraordinary is that they have sensed this need from a young age, younger than most of the adults who have expressed it.

I have been writing recently about the kids of the future – those who are paradoxically here today. Have you seen these children on the news? These are compassionate and passionate children with a deep desire to create change, who seem to feel obligated to do just that. (For more information read Hippies, Indigos, Crystal Children, and Beyond).

Have you had conversations with these kids? Have you really listened to them? I recently had a conversation with a young woman who is involved in very important work to change systems. She feels that this work is not just her job, and it is more than a vocation. Her commitment is so strong that her whole being shows up for every conversation, every presentation, and every action. She is an example of our youth who take on missions of grand importance

She and I began to explore together what separates her and her passionate work from that of some others. First she recognized that this is her soul-mission work. As we talked further, we recognized that integrity is the key ingredient. Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. I (we) believe that it is the merging of integrity with the mission that makes the work so powerful, so soul-filled.

Everyone has goals in life, work that they do, a sense of a purpose in life. I encourage you to look at your mission and work, as well as the missions/work of those whom you admire. Is it a soul-driven mission? Here are some characteristics, which can be viewed as scaffolding, to help you identify integrity within mission.

THE INTEGRITY OF YOUR MISSION [Read more…]

One Introvert’s Experience at THE MARCH FOR OUR LIVES

April 22, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t long after the Parkland, Florida high school shooting that I heard about the March For Our Lives movement and the plan to hold a march in Washington DC on March 24, 2018. I immediately put it in my calendar to keep it on my radar. While I thought it sounded amazing, I had no plan, expectation or even a desire to attend. My husband knew immediately that he needed to be in DC, though he could have attended one of several local marches. “But not me,” I told everyone.

You see, I am an extroverted introvert. Or is it an introverted extrovert?

I enjoy talking with and meeting new people. To others, I appear as an outgoing individual.

Sounds like the classic extrovert, right? But I’m actually an introvert. People think being an introvert means keeping to oneself and speaking sparingly to others. But being an introvert actually describes how one replenishes their energy. Like other introverts I boost my energies best when I am by myself, and often in a space with minimal sensory input.

In addition to being an introvert, I am also an empath. This means I sometimes knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly, pick up the energies and emotions of others. Being an empath can feel exhausting and overwhelming for some, and it has felt that way for me for most of my life. For all these reasons I thought that being at a national march was a ridiculous idea for me. Why would I knowingly and willingly place myself in the middle of a huge group of people who are feeling sadness, anger, frustration and other strong emotions? Why would I willingly be in a group, most likely standing in close proximity to many others, with no opportunity to move to a location by myself? [Read more…]

Shadow Work

October 28, 2017 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

If you’ve ever been involved in therapy or self-improvement you have unknowingly been involved with your shadows. Additionally, you might be surprised to know that if you have ever been angry with another person, you were likely interacting with your own shadow in that situation.

The shadow is that part of you that you’d prefer to not admit to or look at. Interestingly, after doing your shadow-work you may find it easier to accept your human-ness, and even accept your imperfections, and yourself, as being ‘just perfect’.

Shadow work may seem like the hardest work that you have ever done, but it is also the most profound for providing insightful life-changing transformations. Here are techniques to begin your shadow-work.

Since many people want to ease into making life-changes, you can begin with the more traditional self-improvement efforts that you’ve already considered. Are any of your actions now habits that are not serving a beneficial purpose? Do you want to take control of that now? Dealing with these issues will familiarize you with the process of making changes and allow you to realize that though there might be emotional discomfort, it is temporary. Confidence and security are paramount when you are addressing the tough issues that you wish you didn’t see – your shadows.

When you have adequately tackled one or more of those habits/behaviors and are ready to dig deeper, consider the following questions that were shared at a recent retreat by Karlta Zarley to identify a potential shadow issue for your exploration.

What is no longer needed?
What is no longer wanted?
What is no longer in your best interest?
What are you afraid to look at?
What have you never even considered?
What is not tangible, yet you still know it’s important (for instance, an intuitive knowing)?
What have you not seen at all (obviously one of the hardest to find)?

Although shadow work can seem daunting, [Read more…]

It’s All About the Energy

Relationships

Understanding Empaths: Energy, Frequencies and Vibrations

Late Bloomers

Recognize Yourself in the Mirror of Others

Living With Discord and Finding Equanimity

Neuro-Sensitives and Frequencies

Are You Looking For Your Soul-Directed Mission?

One Introvert’s Experience at THE MARCH FOR OUR LIVES

Shadow Work

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