Parenting – Page 2

Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload

January 30, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Recent statistics indicate that 1 in 68 children are on the autism spectrum; however autistics are not the only ones who experience sensory overload.

It is very likely that you know someone professionally, in your social group, or in your family who is neuro-sensitive. Sensitives can be autistic or neuro-typical (without autism). Over the years in my practice I have seen many children and adults who are neuro-sensitive. As their prevalence increases, so does their sensory awareness and responsiveness.

There is much speculation as to why there are more individuals who experience the world in this way. It could be evolutionary, neurological or the additives, drugs and pesticides in our food network.

Regardless of the cause, with the increasing number of individuals affected, there is a responsibility to learn how to best support Sensitives. There are a number of traditional approaches provided by occupational therapists, behaviorists, and speech and language therapists. There are also less-conventional approaches. I wrote about these in Setting Boundaries and Energy Cleansing.

You are encouraged to increase your awareness of the many situations that can create difficulties for the neuro-sensitives in your life so that you can support that individual or help to bring about systems change.

SCHOOLS

Kids spend the majority of their day in these environments for twelve or more years. We can reduce their sensory impact and ease their experiences.

LIGHT SENSITIVITY: Fluorescent lighting creates visual and auditory challenges. Highly sensitive individuals are bothered by the pulsations that fluorescents emit, as well as the sound from light ballasts. Light sensitivity can also affect reading: ease, accuracy, memory, concentration, and comprehension. Using natural or incandescent lighting in schools and at home can increase your child’s relaxation, reading skills, and even their willingness to do homework.

RECESS AND PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Weak muscle tone and poor coordination increase the likelihood that sports and team activities may not be [Read more…]

ACCEPTING YOUR CHILD’S DIFFERENCES

November 29, 2017 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Do you have a child (of any age) who is not like you?

I have worked with a number of families. Sometimes the client is the parent while other times the client is the child, or an adult child. Regardless, our conversations are often about scenarios that show how the child is wired differently from the parent; yet frequently neither really understands this. Here are the main topics that come up.

SOCIAL

I see a number of individuals who avoid social scenarios. They may only have a few friends, and may even avoid time with their family. This can be very disconcerting for a parent, and this is what I often hear:

“My child seems lonely, and I don’t want him/her to grow up alone.”

“Why is his/her school/college experience so drab? Why can’t s/he enjoy it? Why doesn’t my child go to school games and parties? College, tailgating, and parties were an amazing experience for me, and s/he is not participating!”

“Friends are important, and my child is missing out on social opportunities and experiences!”

If your child is a Sensitive (neuro-diverse) and experiences sensory overload, s/he will want more alone time and may seem more anxious, moody, or intolerant of others and their environment. It’s also possible that s/he misunderstands social scenarios and communication.

This child is not wired like you and does not receive the same pleasures in social company as you. As a matter of fact, I hear these individuals describe social activities as anything but fun. Let’s remember that they are very sensitive to the energies, the sounds, and the people in their environments. In addition to the sensory challenges they usually don’t have the social skill set that you (a neuro-typical) do, and they find every social or communication encounter as a potential landmine: “What do I say/do in this situation? Will it be right? Will they approve? Will they make fun of me (again)?”

Teaching these individuals the nuances of conversation, and developing their confidence and self-worth will significantly help, but they are still not wired like you. As a result, they will likely prefer more isolated experiences than you do. This does not mean it’s bad. They’re just different.

ACADEMICS/CAREERS

Parents hope and expect that their children will grow up to have amazing and prominent careers. Many families expect their children to go to college and study finance, business, law, medicine, etc. Graduate school is often an expectation. Yet, the academic experience of these different kids may not provide them successful college (or K-12) experiences.

For your student, [Read more…]

Multi-Dimensional Children in our One-Dimensional World

July 29, 2016 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

If you have been reading my articles, you already know the terms Indigo, Crystal and Star Children. These children (and adults) whose traits include being wise, intuitive and caring, often seem like old souls. I also recognize their growing multi-dimensional qualities. They know the importance of peace, love, acceptance, and unity for all beings – human and otherwise – and for Earth herself.

Being multi-dimensional means being aware of dimensions that many others are not yet aware. One dimension that is recognized is the energy within and around us. Perceiving this energy as thought, images or sounds, and accessing information from your inner and outer environment, including across time and space, brings a wider range of knowledge.

What happens if you are one-dimensional, with minimal to no awareness of the additional information, or even its availability, and your child or student is multi-dimensional? I’m noting in my practice that these children realize that they can access more knowledge and subconsciously believe they must take care of their parent, constantly monitoring the adult’s comfort levels and feeling immense responsibility for the well-being of their parent. This is not a healthy situation for the child, the parent, or the relationship.

Does your child act like he or she needs to take care of you? This pattern can be changed.

I have had the privilege of counseling children and pre-teens that attend sessions with their parents. [Read more…]

A LETTER TO YOUR INNER CHILD FROM YOUR HIGHEST WISDOM

April 3, 2016 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

You probably don’t remember, but when you were born you were authentic and you remembered Who You Really Are as well as your plan for this lifetime. But as is so common, you forgot much of that and now I, your Highest Wisdom, have noticed that you are trying to hold on to Who You Really Are, while you are also trying to fit in. The reason that I’m talking to you today is because I noticed that you don’t think that you can be your real self and be like others.

You may be thinking that to be liked by others you need to be just like them. Are you finding that really hard? Adults and even kids say that you should be your own individual, be your own person. Yet they also tell you to be just like them. How confusing. You wonder, “Am I supposed to be like all the others? Does that mean that I can’t be Who I Really Am?” And then you feel even more lost and confused.

To make things more complicated, you might recognize yourself as really different. There is a reason for this. [Read more…]

An Interview with Judy Lipson: Licensed Professional Counselor

December 1, 2015 By Spiral Wisdom

By Cheryl Heppard, Examiner.com July 31, 2010

Can you please tell us about your field of expertise, and explain your personal mission?

My field of expertise is working with individuals (students of all ages, as well as adults) who have characteristics or diagnoses of ADHD, anxiety, Autism Spectrum, Aspergers Syndrome, learning style differences and other IEP or 504 conditions. My intention when providing psychotherapy or academic support is to facilitate each client’s journey toward their most complete expression of their truest self. [Read more…]

Emotion: Anger is Not a Primary One

September 30, 2015 By Judy Lipson

While chances are good that you or someone you know has ‘anger issues’, there is much more to anger than you probably realize.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

In our society, most people are not in touch with the majority of their emotions. You are likely familiar with joy and happy, and sometimes even bliss. You can recognize sadness, and will likely assume that you or someone else is experiencing grief after a significant loss. You probably know about numerous other emotions, but primarily as a definition. Most people do not know what they are really feeling, especially when it comes to what our society refers to as the negative emotions.

Anger is certainly recognized by society as a negative, yet it also seems to be the most accepted, or expected, of emotions. This is especially true of men who are discouraged from expressing sadness, worry, and many other feelings. Historically, it has been frowned upon for women to express anger, yet increasingly women do so as well.

An interesting fact is, though incredibly prevalent, anger is not a primary emotion. Actually, it is the expression of other emotions. It is only when you identify that underlying experience and its corresponding response, that you can stop your explosions.

The next time you begin to feel the buildup of anger, I urge you to look deeper to find the origin. Here are a number of emotional possibilities that can guide you to the root of your anger: [Read more…]

Parenting Your Adolescent into Adulthood

May 1, 2013 By Judy Lipson

If parent and child both want independence and autonomy, why the conflicts?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

There is a process of transition between childhood and adulthood through which children and parents need to progress. The goal is to achieve this with as much ease (for both of you) as possible. Parenting the adolescent is not a hands-off affair and once reaching adulthood, developmental stages don’t end.

According to psychologist Erik Erikson:

ADOLESCENCE: 12-18 = Identity vs. Role Confusion

YOUNG ADULTHOOD: 18-40 = Intimacy vs. Isolation

MIDDLE ADULTHOOD: 40-65 = Generativity vs. Stagnation

LATE ADULTHOOD: 65-Death = Integrity vs. Despair

Developmental timing is a challenge to parenting adolescents and young adults. You are likely assessing your legacies at the time that your most important legacy, your child, has not yet mastered independent living. This makes it difficult to resist the urge to rescue.

PREPARING YOU: This is an important step to allow a relationship with your adult child. [Read more…]

Summer Camp

April 27, 2012 By Judy Lipson

If this is your child’s first year to attend sleep-away camp, there are preparations that can be made to help your child acclimate to the experience.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Building excitement about the trip is usually a benefit. Allow your child to help gather supplies: flash lights, mini-fans, swimsuit, sweatshirts, rain ponchos, flip-flops; the list goes on and on! Having your child help with selections increases excitement. Since it’s not uncommon for items to be muddied, torn, or lost, keep new purchases to a minimum.

For the child who has a tendency to become overly excited or has difficulty with transitions, [Read more…]

Sleep Hygiene

March 31, 2012 By Judy Lipson

Though sleep is sometimes elusive, it is important. What to do?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Sleep is necessary to restore the body and provide mental alertness for learning. Yet many children (and adults) have difficulty falling and staying asleep. Your child’s lack of sleep affects you, too. As the parent you worry and wonder: What is my child doing? Will s/he be alert for tomorrow’s lessons and tests? Should I MAKE him go to bed? Should I punish? Should I ignore it? [Read more…]

Overweight Kids

January 1, 2012 By Judy Lipson

Those extra pounds might not be what you think.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

When there are weight issues in the family, it may be helpful to look at the situation from a nutritional, psychological and energetic perspective. [Read more…]

Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload

Multi-Dimensional Children in our One-Dimensional World

Does your child act like he or she needs to take care of you? This pattern can be changed.

A LETTER TO YOUR INNER CHILD FROM YOUR HIGHEST WISDOM

An Interview with Judy Lipson: Licensed Professional Counselor

Emotion: Anger is Not a Primary One

Parenting Your Adolescent into Adulthood

Summer Camp

Sleep Hygiene

Overweight Kids

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