Parenting – Page 2

Emotion: Anger is Not a Primary One

September 30, 2015 By Judy Lipson

While chances are good that you or someone you know has ‘anger issues’, there is much more to anger than you probably realize.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

In our society, most people are not in touch with the majority of their emotions. You are likely familiar with joy and happy, and sometimes even bliss. You can recognize sadness, and will likely assume that you or someone else is experiencing grief after a significant loss. You probably know about numerous other emotions, but primarily as a definition. Most people do not know what they are really feeling, especially when it comes to what our society refers to as the negative emotions.

Anger is certainly recognized by society as a negative, yet it also seems to be the most accepted, or expected, of emotions. This is especially true of men who are discouraged from expressing sadness, worry, and many other feelings. Historically, it has been frowned upon for women to express anger, yet increasingly women do so as well.

An interesting fact is, though incredibly prevalent, anger is not a primary emotion. Actually, it is the expression of other emotions. It is only when you identify that underlying experience and its corresponding response, that you can stop your explosions.

The next time you begin to feel the buildup of anger, I urge you to look deeper to find the origin. Here are a number of emotional possibilities that can guide you to the root of your anger: [Read more…]

Parenting Your Adolescent into Adulthood

May 1, 2013 By Judy Lipson

If parent and child both want independence and autonomy, why the conflicts?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

There is a process of transition between childhood and adulthood through which children and parents need to progress. The goal is to achieve this with as much ease (for both of you) as possible. Parenting the adolescent is not a hands-off affair and once reaching adulthood, developmental stages don’t end.

According to psychologist Erik Erikson:

ADOLESCENCE: 12-18 = Identity vs. Role Confusion

YOUNG ADULTHOOD: 18-40 = Intimacy vs. Isolation

MIDDLE ADULTHOOD: 40-65 = Generativity vs. Stagnation

LATE ADULTHOOD: 65-Death = Integrity vs. Despair

Developmental timing is a challenge to parenting adolescents and young adults. You are likely assessing your legacies at the time that your most important legacy, your child, has not yet mastered independent living. This makes it difficult to resist the urge to rescue.

PREPARING YOU: This is an important step to allow a relationship with your adult child. [Read more…]

Summer Camp

April 27, 2012 By Judy Lipson

If this is your child’s first year to attend sleep-away camp, there are preparations that can be made to help your child acclimate to the experience.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Building excitement about the trip is usually a benefit. Allow your child to help gather supplies: flash lights, mini-fans, swimsuit, sweatshirts, rain ponchos, flip-flops; the list goes on and on! Having your child help with selections increases excitement. Since it’s not uncommon for items to be muddied, torn, or lost, keep new purchases to a minimum.

For the child who has a tendency to become overly excited or has difficulty with transitions, [Read more…]

Sleep Hygiene

March 31, 2012 By Judy Lipson

Though sleep is sometimes elusive, it is important. What to do?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Sleep is necessary to restore the body and provide mental alertness for learning. Yet many children (and adults) have difficulty falling and staying asleep. Your child’s lack of sleep affects you, too. As the parent you worry and wonder: What is my child doing? Will s/he be alert for tomorrow’s lessons and tests? Should I MAKE him go to bed? Should I punish? Should I ignore it? [Read more…]

Overweight Kids

January 1, 2012 By Judy Lipson

Those extra pounds might not be what you think.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

When there are weight issues in the family, it may be helpful to look at the situation from a nutritional, psychological and energetic perspective. [Read more…]

The Digital Age: Social Media and Electronic Games

December 1, 2011 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Many of this column’s readers are digital natives, growing up in the age of digital technology -unlike digital immigrants like me. Natives have always known the computer, games and the Internet. Today’s youth have always had social media.

Social media, which includes Facebook and Twitter, is neither good nor bad. It’s a means for people to communicate instantly and across vast distances. Time zones and location no longer determine connectedness. Information is immediate and available, real-time. This means that one can write or post without thinking of the ramifications. [Read more…]

Manners

November 1, 2011 By Judy Lipson

Our children don’t sit quietly, hands folded silently in their lap, seen but not heard.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

In recent months, the news carried the story of a restaurant that no longer allows children. There was resounding support by adults who have become tired of sharing a meal with noisy children scampering through the restaurant.

A prominent parenting style assumes children learn the rules of life by observing adults and other children. Unfortunately, from a developmental standpoint, this doesn’t work. Young children cannot infer proper behavior and etiquette from watching others. They need to be explicitly taught. Their ability to infer comes at a later age, and only if the foundation has been set in the earlier years.

I’ve also heard parents express the concern that they will squelch their child’s spirit and self-esteem by overly disciplining them. Interestingly, when parents [Read more…]

Independent Children

July 2, 2011 By Judy Lipson

flamingos By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Children don’t come with instruction manuals! Though this statement is usually spoken as a joke, it’s true; and even this article is not a one-size-fits-all approach.

It’s important to look at your child: emotionally, developmentally, intellectually and chronologically, before creating expectations.

For instance, bright children tend to be very verbal and you may forget that they are “only ___ years old”. There’s a tendency to treat them as if they’re older. This may not be right when deciding what responsibilities they should have. If you assume that your child can handle more than they are emotionally and developmentally capable, the situation is prime for tears and failure.

Children with ADHD tend to have a maturity that’s equal to about 70% of their age. [Read more…]

Effective Communication

May 31, 2011 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Communication is a vital aspect of children’s development and it may be necessary for parents to teach. Below are techniques for how to teach your child effective communication and a unique method to use when your child is resistant to listening. (This is especially helpful for parents of adolescents.)

It’s never too early or too late to teach your child how to communicate and to provide opportunities for your child to practice. Here are some suggestions: [Read more…]

Empower Your Child

February 1, 2011 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Some children encounter bullying. It is right for parents to be sure that schools and other organizations take precautions to educate and protect children from bullying behaviors. It is also important for parents to teach children how to handle bullies and bullying.

I have taught many children and adults empowerment skills. The first step in the process is a discussion of why others bully. Typically bullies are individuals who are fearful or sad. Sadness and fear can become anger, and for some individuals it turns into aggression. Some bullies learn the behavior because other family members have bullied them.Understanding the reasons for bullying can provide understanding and compassion for the bully, but your child still needs to know what to do! These techniques can be taught to children of all ages. The words can be varied as needed. [Read more…]

Emotion: Anger is Not a Primary One

Parenting Your Adolescent into Adulthood

Summer Camp

Sleep Hygiene

Overweight Kids

The Digital Age: Social Media and Electronic Games

Manners

Independent Children

Empower Your Child

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