authenticity

Relationships

January 29, 2019 By Judy Lipson

Whether you are in a romantic relationship or are examining your friendships, there are certain guiding principles to consider

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

SELF-WORTH

When you find yourself complaining about the people in your life, it may be time to take a look at the self that you bring to relationships. When you improve your self-worth, you are better able to bring your best self to any relationship!

Be strong!

Don’t betray yourself and don’t negotiate your integrity. Compromise is fine when it is done willingly, but don’t agree to something to be “the nice person”.
Advertise your strength: Whether seated or standing hold yourself tall, use a confident voice, breathe from your power center (your solar plexus located above the navel), feel as if your feet are firmly connected to Earth, draw your shoulders down away from your ears.
Know who you are so that you can attract those you want (friends, partners, business associates).
Don’t settle. Don’t tolerate another’s disrespect.
Respect yourself and make this clear to others by how you dress, move and speak.
Your Inner Child might be cautious or angry because of past events. Take care of yourself and your Inner Child will respond. Treat him/her compassionately and assure the Inner Child that s/he is safe now.

When your inner-self (who you are and how you really feel) is in alliance with your outer-self (the person that presents to others), others will respond to your authenticity and you will draw more people of quality into your life. Actively increase your friend base by bringing people into your life that make you happy and support you, just as you support them.

REDEFINING RELATIONSHIPS

Want to change the dynamics of a friendship that you now realize is not good for you, but you still need (or want) to be in relationship with them? The tendency is to look at how the other has harmed you, disrespected you, or used you. And while all that may be true, I encourage you to see how you can affect this relationship. Boundaries are more about you and your expectation than about the other individual. When YOU have the expectation, YOU know that you are defining this relationship differently. This will bring you that authentic ‘power’, which has always been yours.

To actively begin to create this change, [Read more…]

Recognize Yourself in the Mirror of Others

September 20, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

“They’re meant to be mirrors for us, always reflecting back what we need to see. The question is: Do you want to look in this mirror, and be open to what you need to learn, or simply pretend it’s not there and pass it by?” John Holland

I have always found human interactions fascinating, and in my work with clients I can observe and address the many layers of relationships that are occurring. Here’s a sample.

Mirror One: Imago wounds

Some intimate relationships are based on the premise that Dr. Harville Hendrix teaches in his book Getting the Love You Want, A Guide for Couples. Dr. Hendrix, and his Imago Relationship Therapy process, teaches that individuals often select partners who resemble (closely or distantly) the key people, usually from childhood, who created emotional wounds. The premise says that your inner child may have selected someone who subconsciously reminds them of this individual, but this time the inner child is hoping it will not experience similar wounds, seemingly healing the original wounded relationship. Dr. Hendrix further teaches that these relationships (when there is no danger of abuse) can be places to heal, but only when both partners are conscious of the relationship and how they trigger each other. This foundation is paramount to following his additional strategies, and achieving understanding and healing.

Mirror Two: Looking outward to see inward

Ending relationships, whether friendships or romantic partners, can be challenging. I’ve observed some individuals believe their peace, confidence, good experiences, and inner feelings are due to the ‘other’. I’ve watched them [Read more…]

Are You Looking For Your Soul-Directed Mission?

June 25, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

What is a mission? Interestingly, the Oxford Dictionary offers a variety of definitions. The first is an important assignment carried out for political, religious, or commercial purposes. This is not my preferred definition. On the surface it doesn’t sound problematic, but I prefer the third definition of mission: a strongly felt aim, ambition, or calling.

Over the years I have had an opportunity to speak to many adults. Many are sensing something significant that they are pursuing, and a desire to follow this important path that they are feeling. They have suspected its existence since they were young. The children and teens that I speak to also talk of their mission for this lifetime. What is especially extraordinary is that they have sensed this need from a young age, younger than most of the adults who have expressed it.

I have been writing recently about the kids of the future – those who are paradoxically here today. Have you seen these children on the news? These are compassionate and passionate children with a deep desire to create change, who seem to feel obligated to do just that. (For more information read Hippies, Indigos, Crystal Children, and Beyond).

Have you had conversations with these kids? Have you really listened to them? I recently had a conversation with a young woman who is involved in very important work to change systems. She feels that this work is not just her job, and it is more than a vocation. Her commitment is so strong that her whole being shows up for every conversation, every presentation, and every action. She is an example of our youth who take on missions of grand importance

She and I began to explore together what separates her and her passionate work from that of some others. First she recognized that this is her soul-mission work. As we talked further, we recognized that integrity is the key ingredient. Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. I (we) believe that it is the merging of integrity with the mission that makes the work so powerful, so soul-filled.

Everyone has goals in life, work that they do, a sense of a purpose in life. I encourage you to look at your mission and work, as well as the missions/work of those whom you admire. Is it a soul-driven mission? Here are some characteristics, which can be viewed as scaffolding, to help you identify integrity within mission.

THE INTEGRITY OF YOUR MISSION [Read more…]

A Time of Great Change

January 28, 2017 By Judy Lipson

One seemingly common thread across the U.S., and across political parties has been the desire for change. This article is not about politics, or those differences.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

We humans are a funny lot. Oftentimes we appropriately complain about our situation – relationship, family, work status, coworkers, etc – and we hope that it will change. But when the opportunity for change actually arises, there is a tendency for the individual to retreat as a fear response, and continue with what is familiar.

I have been fascinated by the acceleration of change that has been taking place over the last decade or more. I have witnessed this acceleration of change in my own life, as well as in my clients’. Children and adults arrive for counseling for a particular reason, yet often learn that there is an underlying frustration or a lack of congruence between their inner self/goals and their outer actions. I help clients to align the two and to tolerate the lack of ease that they temporarily experience in the meantime.

I’ve seen many children and adults over the last few decades who are feeling a pull to something different and know that there is something more. Are you one of them? Here’s what you might be experiencing: [Read more…]

Hearing Your Own Voice; Owning Your Own Voice; Patience

October 29, 2016 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

What do you know about patience? Patience is the virtue that allows you to listen to your higher soul, attend to your inner voice, and bring integrity to your thinking and actions. Have you learned how to listen to your inner voice? Do you see how patience is required to do so accurately and effectively?

Patience in action allows things to slow down. When you engage in an activity with patience you direct your mind to be in the moment and to address what is right before you. You have felt the world slow down, and when it does you resonate with that sensation. This is the experience of being in the now. Unfortunately, most people only know this experience (described as “time just stood still”), as the result of a very frightening crisis like a near traffic accident. The good news is that you can access this state of consciousness without a crisis, and therefore without anxiety.

In our society, most people recognize that they function from a “monkey mind” – jumping from one thought to another – and proud of every opportunity to multi-task (whether it’s effective or not). But when you slow your mind to focus on one thought or activity at a time you will note that your inner being becomes calmer and slower, which allows you to slow your outward movements as well. The irony is that the more you slow your mind, the more efficient your actions will be.

The good news is that it is not hard to slow your mind and to hear your inner voice, but it does require practice because you are developing a new pattern.

First, develop patience. Begin a practice of daily focus in the now. This can be meditation, prayer, movement, time in nature; it can even include chores – if you focus ON the chore and not on the monkey-mind that is excited to have been unleashed.

Become increasingly aware of times that you squelch your message and [Read more…]

Remembering…And Becoming…Who You Really Are

February 29, 2016 By Judy Lipson

Are you ready to live your authentic life?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The next time you are in the presence of an infant or young child observe the authenticity with which they approach life. If something brings pleasure, they fully radiate joy, and if something is not making them happy, they will certainly express that as well. The real beauty is that they can swiftly return to joy with incredible ease.

Many of you inadvertently lost touch with your authenticity after the socialization process. Seemingly insignificant conversations might have affected your ability to know and remember yourself. An example might be when you were told to hug your visiting aunt. When you said that you don’t like getting close to your aunt, the adults in your world insisted that you ignore your feelings and go hug her anyway. Each time you saw yourself discounted for the ‘greater good’ there was the potential to lose a bit of your authentic self.

Another common situation was when, as a child, you were intuitive or knew things that your adult caregivers didn’t remember, didn’t believe, or feared. Could you see auras? Did you know things about people? Could you predict the future? The child is reliant on physical and emotional safety from others, so you may have discounted your abilities and suppressed them in order to be or feel safe. [Read more…]

Lightbody, Lightworker and Ascension

November 22, 2014 By Judy Lipson

Whether you are new to these concepts or are quite familiar, they are all part of

Remembering and Becoming Who You Really Are

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Lightbody, Lightworker, Ascension: My goal is to explain these trending concepts for individuals who have never heard these terms, as well as to provide more extensive information for those who already have familiarity.

Remembering….

LIGHTBODY describes the awakening to Awareness that so many are experiencing at this time. It is the process of bringing more Light, in the form of Divine Intelligence, into your physical form, thoughts, energy field and your life experiences. Light is Goodness, Divine Knowledge, and Harmony. This Light floods our whole being and begins the effects or sensations that may be experienced as a result of the physical body trying to Shift into Lightbody. You will read more about this later.

It is no coincidence that many are following a more spiritual path with a focus on community, love, peace, harmony and compassion. You may find your source of Spirituality from Divine Intelligence or within, in prayer, meditation or in nature. Nothing is outside of nature. Nature is the Divine; Divine is Nature; it’s all part of the natural workings of the universe.

I offer harmony as a potentially new concept for your consideration. Many strive for peace. Yet peace often refers to the absence of conflict and is a term used in a world where we perceive Separation. Even the synonyms of peace include: reconciliation and ceasefire. In contrast, here are the similes for harmony: accord, synchronization, congruence and coherence. Harmony means even when you are not in agreement with others you are willing to work together to make it so. Peace often includes tolerance. Harmony is acceptance.

Did you resonate with the synonyms of harmony? You are likely on the path toward Lightbody. Here are other signs of Lightbody: Your students, children, grandchildren and you [Read more…]

Our Need for Heroes – It’s Time to Look Within

October 31, 2014 By Judy Lipson

In a society starved for genuine Heroes, we should do what we can to help them become the real thing in their own life. ~ Caroline Myss

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Have you been seeking a hero in your life to emulate? Psychology teaches that people often see in others what they desire for themselves. Your eager, outward search may really be to find your inner self. If so, it may be time to discover the hero within you. Peace activist and spiritual teacher Mahatma Gandhi taught us to “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Deepak Chopra has added that “transformation ‘in here’ leads to results in the outer world as well.”

Jean Houston’s book The Wizard of Us follows Dorothy’s experiences in and out of Oz. This is done within the framework of mythologist Joseph Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey”, also known as his monomyth. Houston adds exercises for the reader to explore his or her own journey. If this concept interests you, Campbell and Houston are both worth reading.

The following is a summation of Campbell’s stages of the Hero’s Journey that can help you to identify and appreciate your own Hero’s Journey:

The Call to Adventure – to leave old concepts and move toward new ways of being. [Read more…]

Living a Six–Sensory Life

September 3, 2014 By Judy Lipson

Our intuition is always there, always reading the situation, always trying to steer us the right way. ~ Arianna Huffington

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I’ve known about my sixth-sense for some time. I first heard the term six-sensory from author and spiritual teacher, Sonia Choquette. Being a six-sensory means that you process your world with more than the conventional five senses (visual, auditory, touch, taste, smell).

Your sixth sense is your gut instinct. It’s natural, normal and everyone has it. The parental version of sixth sense awareness happens when children first venture away from parents: When you get there, if something doesn’t feel right I want you to call me or leave right away. Others talk about business relationships and opportunities: I just knew from the start that this was not a good person/idea, but I didn’t listen to my gut and I got burned. Think about the varied ways that your sixth sense has been involved in your life.

Now that we have established that you have a sixth sense, the question is: Do you listen to yours or have you ignored your inner voice?

Choquette believes that “your sixth sense should be your first sense”. Author Sophy Burnham (The Art of Intuition) says it’s the subtle knowing without ever having any idea why you know it. If you are ready to embrace your six-sensory self, there are ways to develop, and learn to hear, your inner voice / gut instinct / intuition: [Read more…]

Living Your Authentic Life

August 30, 2013 By Judy Lipson

“Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ~ Dr. Brené Brown

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Living authentically is when the peaceful, confident core of your being directs the inner and outer aspects of your life. It means operating from your truest inner-self, so you can be the person who you were meant to be and to experience life empowered.

We each have an inner compass, our entelechy, which guides us toward our authentic life. The entelechy is the fullest realized essence of a thing, i.e.: The oak tree is the entelechy of an acorn, and a full grown adult is the entelechy of a human infant. Dr. Jean Houston, in her book “The Wizard of Us”, teaches that the entelechy is that Essential Self that longs to be expressed and remains your gentle guide.

However, outside forces may interfere with this central guidance. Parents, schools and other elements of society try to mold you to act in a certain manner. This socialization is done [Read more…]

Relationships

Recognize Yourself in the Mirror of Others

Are You Looking For Your Soul-Directed Mission?

A Time of Great Change

Hearing Your Own Voice; Owning Your Own Voice; Patience

Remembering…And Becoming…Who You Really Are

Lightbody, Lightworker and Ascension

Remembering….

Our Need for Heroes – It’s Time to Look Within

Living a Six–Sensory Life

Living Your Authentic Life

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