self-worth

Relationships

January 29, 2019 By Judy Lipson

Whether you are in a romantic relationship or are examining your friendships, there are certain guiding principles to consider

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

SELF-WORTH

When you find yourself complaining about the people in your life, it may be time to take a look at the self that you bring to relationships. When you improve your self-worth, you are better able to bring your best self to any relationship!

Be strong!

Don’t betray yourself and don’t negotiate your integrity. Compromise is fine when it is done willingly, but don’t agree to something to be “the nice person”.
Advertise your strength: Whether seated or standing hold yourself tall, use a confident voice, breathe from your power center (your solar plexus located above the navel), feel as if your feet are firmly connected to Earth, draw your shoulders down away from your ears.
Know who you are so that you can attract those you want (friends, partners, business associates).
Don’t settle. Don’t tolerate another’s disrespect.
Respect yourself and make this clear to others by how you dress, move and speak.
Your Inner Child might be cautious or angry because of past events. Take care of yourself and your Inner Child will respond. Treat him/her compassionately and assure the Inner Child that s/he is safe now.

When your inner-self (who you are and how you really feel) is in alliance with your outer-self (the person that presents to others), others will respond to your authenticity and you will draw more people of quality into your life. Actively increase your friend base by bringing people into your life that make you happy and support you, just as you support them.

REDEFINING RELATIONSHIPS

Want to change the dynamics of a friendship that you now realize is not good for you, but you still need (or want) to be in relationship with them? The tendency is to look at how the other has harmed you, disrespected you, or used you. And while all that may be true, I encourage you to see how you can affect this relationship. Boundaries are more about you and your expectation than about the other individual. When YOU have the expectation, YOU know that you are defining this relationship differently. This will bring you that authentic ‘power’, which has always been yours.

To actively begin to create this change, [Read more…]

Shadow Work

October 28, 2017 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

If you’ve ever been involved in therapy or self-improvement you have unknowingly been involved with your shadows. Additionally, you might be surprised to know that if you have ever been angry with another person, you were likely interacting with your own shadow in that situation.

The shadow is that part of you that you’d prefer to not admit to or look at. Interestingly, after doing your shadow-work you may find it easier to accept your human-ness, and even accept your imperfections, and yourself, as being ‘just perfect’.

Shadow work may seem like the hardest work that you have ever done, but it is also the most profound for providing insightful life-changing transformations. Here are techniques to begin your shadow-work.

Since many people want to ease into making life-changes, you can begin with the more traditional self-improvement efforts that you’ve already considered. Are any of your actions now habits that are not serving a beneficial purpose? Do you want to take control of that now? Dealing with these issues will familiarize you with the process of making changes and allow you to realize that though there might be emotional discomfort, it is temporary. Confidence and security are paramount when you are addressing the tough issues that you wish you didn’t see – your shadows.

When you have adequately tackled one or more of those habits/behaviors and are ready to dig deeper, consider the following questions that were shared at a recent retreat by Karlta Zarley to identify a potential shadow issue for your exploration.

What is no longer needed?
What is no longer wanted?
What is no longer in your best interest?
What are you afraid to look at?
What have you never even considered?
What is not tangible, yet you still know it’s important (for instance, an intuitive knowing)?
What have you not seen at all (obviously one of the hardest to find)?

Although shadow work can seem daunting, [Read more…]

Our Need for Heroes – It’s Time to Look Within

October 31, 2014 By Judy Lipson

In a society starved for genuine Heroes, we should do what we can to help them become the real thing in their own life. ~ Caroline Myss

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Have you been seeking a hero in your life to emulate? Psychology teaches that people often see in others what they desire for themselves. Your eager, outward search may really be to find your inner self. If so, it may be time to discover the hero within you. Peace activist and spiritual teacher Mahatma Gandhi taught us to “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Deepak Chopra has added that “transformation ‘in here’ leads to results in the outer world as well.”

Jean Houston’s book The Wizard of Us follows Dorothy’s experiences in and out of Oz. This is done within the framework of mythologist Joseph Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey”, also known as his monomyth. Houston adds exercises for the reader to explore his or her own journey. If this concept interests you, Campbell and Houston are both worth reading.

The following is a summation of Campbell’s stages of the Hero’s Journey that can help you to identify and appreciate your own Hero’s Journey:

The Call to Adventure – to leave old concepts and move toward new ways of being. [Read more…]

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