equanimity

It’s Time to Create

February 20, 2021 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
(From ‘Turn! Turn! Turn!’ by The Birds)

When I look back at 2020, I primarily see the breaking-down aspect that is stated in this lyric. Breaking down reminds us of destruction, which is defined as: the action or process of causing so much damage to something that it no longer exists or cannot be repaired. Though that feels like a really bad thing, and like you, I often felt overwhelmed or distraught during 2020, I realize that the process can have very positive outcomes. We are dismantling the previous paradigms in order to determine what aspects should stay, what should go, and what should change dramatically. I am actually quite thankful for the dismantling of so many of our systems and beliefs, though it was challenging to observe and live through.

2021 has arrived, and now it’s time to build up! It’s human nature to long for the continuation of what was and wait for (or force) its return. I urge you instead to take some calming breaths and think back to the months and years before 2020 when you actually may have longed for some type of change for yourself, for our country, or for the global collective. I encourage you in the upcoming months to look at aspects of your own life and of our global society to determine what practices and beliefs have become outdated, stale, or are now recognized as wrong. Is it time for you to create something?

This may seem like it requires great courage. I believe you have that courage to begin the creation of what you have always sought. Think back to previous events when great change occurred, particularly when it wasn’t originally your idea – this might be a break-up, a job change (or loss), or a move. Whatever that situation, remember how frightened, ungrounded, and lost you likely felt. Then weeks or months later it’s not uncommon to be able to look back on that original event and recognize the silver-lining that resulted.

I believe we are in the midst of one of these situations. All around us we can see the breakdown of our institutions. And that can feel really scary, especially when we don’t know when the process will end, or how it will look.

Besides watching systems change so significantly, it’s all happening during a pandemic. The novel coronavirus, COVID-19, is affecting many people in new ways. New information comes to light, the vaccines are becoming available, but the distribution moves slower than most individuals would prefer. You may find yourself wondering things like: How will this new information affect me? How long will these recommendations last? When and how will my activities alter? When will this end? Will this end? Will my life ever return to normal?

Here we are in unprecedented territory! We are uncertain of what is to come, how it will affect us, and how to navigate the entirety of it. I want to encourage each of you to focus on a few concepts as we approach these “unprecedented” significant changes. Let’s start by drawing our awareness to the complexity of the term. The definition of unprecedented is never done or known before. It relates to all the things happening to us and around us. Since it has never occurred before, I don’t think it is reasonable to assume that there is a distinct roadmap to get through it. I don’t bring this up to frighten, but rather to open your awareness to realizing that your roadmap won’t be found by looking backward.

Here are some considerations as you look within and forward: [Read more…]

Discomfort and Equanimity in the Era of Covid

August 16, 2020 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

This pandemic is getting so difficult for so many! This is really not surprising! It’s been nearly 6 months since many began their sheltering-in-place practices. When the weather got nice, and school was over for “summer vacation”, there was an especially acute longing to get back to life – as we knew it. After all, summer is that glorious time when we travel with our families, by ourselves, or with special friends to escape the harried life of work and home responsibilities. Summer has become equivalent for many of us as the time for escape. But instead of getting the green light to take our escape, we were met with resistance. Some saw the resistance coming from the CDC, or their governmental leaders, while some recognized that this is a result of the impact of the novel coronavirus. Regardless, many see this as a time when one’s desires are being thwarted. And we don’t like that!!

In all my years of talking to people I’ve realized that one’s ability to shift and adapt varies. Actually, I will rephrase that to say one’s willingness to shift and adapt varies! One way to improve your adaptability is through equanimity. I’ve written about it previously, but I want to discuss it again in the context of COVID-19, and all that it is revealing to us socially, politically, environmentally, financially, educationally, medically, etc, etc.

I’d like to invite you to take a few introspective moments and look at “being uncomfortable”. This is not about justification that you have a right to your thought or feeling. We’re going deeper than that. Do you even have an awareness of the discomforting thought, feeling, or action? Or have you been so intent on avoiding the discomfort that you hadn’t even sat with it long enough to recognize it occurring? Identify what drives you, what troubles you, what ultimately makes you uncomfortable. In other words, what have you been avoiding or running from?

Thoughts: i.e., “I don’t want there to be a pandemic.” “There really isn’t anything to be afraid of or react to.” “People aren’t going to tell me what I can or can’t do.” “I deserve this …… (vacation, experience, etc).” Those are only some of the possible thoughts that may have led to your discomfort. What are yours?
Feelings: Anger and fear are the main emotions that people discuss. But I encourage you to go deeper. Is there frustration? Grief? Loneliness? Anxiety? Worry? Sadness? A sense of betrayal or injustice? Disappointment? Agitation? Feeling misunderstood? What feeling(s) are you experiencing? And have you been running from them?
Actions: For some people, this is the easiest route to then access the rest. What action have you been taking that has provided you the opportunity to not have to feel the uncomfortable emotion, or think the uncomfortable thought, that you identified above? For instance, these are two extreme positions, but do you go into public with no consideration of the CDC recommendations? Do you stay home in your bubble when it is not medically required? What actions might you be taking that provide you an escape to avoid feeling the uncomfortable emotions or thoughts?

Now I would like to invite you to look at all of this a bit differently. [Read more…]

Living With Discord and Finding Equanimity

August 22, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Discord is defined as a disagreement or lack of agreement. However, in the context of this article, discord refers to the emotional discomfort that you feel when what you want is not congruent to what is happening within or around you.

What do you do when you don’t like what’s happening and you can’t control the outcome? (This might be because you can’t control it, or because it’s not your place to do so, or because you don’t have permission.) Do you then select a different part of your life to grab hold of and hang on to tightly? More so do you actually think, pretend, or assume that you have now gained mastery over the events that your unconscious knows you really can’t control? And importantly, do you realize that this is what is happening?

I have talked with many clients about these experiences. The vast majority don’t even recognize all these aspects at a conscious level until it is discussed. In fact, it is not uncommon for an individual to focus on an event or a relationship, recognizing the discord there, when the primary source of discord is something else completely.

Have you noticed feeling strong emotions over an event, and you or others are surprised at your extreme reaction? In fact, the real area of discord is likely something else – for instance, unfinished grief from the loss of a loved one, a job, or a move.

Here are a few examples to help you begin to recognize the layers of discord:

Your focus is on the recalcitrant child, but the underlying discord is with a spouse, boss or other adult.
You are hyper-vigilant about your child’s rather normal developmental event, but through conversations it becomes apparent that the real area of concern is the health of your own parent, the status of your employment, or some other fear.
Social, political or natural events are overwhelming you and you try to find the small areas of your life where you can maintain a sense of control.

This is not meant to minimize any of the emotionally charged events, or your responses. I am encouraging you to [Read more…]

Neuro-Sensitives and Frequencies

July 21, 2018 By Judy Lipson

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t until recently that I learned that if I sit in a ‘mindful’ state and think of people or locations that I know well, I can “feel” each individual or space differently. I’ve come to think of this as being able to identify their primary, or signature, frequency. I realized then (at least at this level of my understanding) that each living thing and environment has its own frequency.

The majority of us move unthinkingly through life, interacting with each other and all the other things around us without this recognition. Yet we are all affected by these interactions, whether imperceptibly or noticeably. If you are an energy-aware individual you probably realize this, though you might not have thought of it in these terms.

To explore this awareness try the following exercise:

Quiet your mind and think of an individual you know well. Imagine in your mind how it feels to be in their presence. Don’t overthink this exercise and don’t spend a long time thinking about the person. Whether or not you have this awareness yet, release your attention on this person, and think of a different person now. See if there might be a subtle difference in how the energies feel. Shift back to the first, and then to the second. If you‘d like you can switch your attention now to a third and then fourth individual, or even a pet.

You are not seeking how they feel emotionally, nor how your emotions feel in their presence, you are sensing the subtle vibration/frequency that you recognize as you bring your awareness to each. As you switch your attention from one being to the other, you might notice the subtle shifts that occur in your awareness, even if you can’t yet identify what it feels like. Sensing that there is a difference may be all that you get.

Now try this same exercise, but with locations that you have visited – specific cities, favorite landmarks, types of geographic areas.

Play with the exercise. You are potentially developing awareness. Please don’t judge yourself if you can’t do it. Maybe you are still developing your intuitive muscles, or maybe my instructions didn’t match your learning style.

Hopefully this exercise has made you more aware of the subtleties that people sense around them, whether you understand it at the thought level or experience it at the energy level.

As I work with the continuum of neuro-sensitive individuals [Read more…]

It’s Time to Create

Discomfort and Equanimity in the Era of Covid

Living With Discord and Finding Equanimity

Neuro-Sensitives and Frequencies

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