Articles – Page 8

Embracing Different

May 30, 2013 By Judy Lipson

Peacock “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” – George Bernard Shaw

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Who defines what’s reasonable for whom? Personally and professionally I know the importance of being true to oneself, yet our society continues to maintain what appears to be a double standard. People believe that they encourage individuals to be themselves and to follow their own path, yet they are simultaneously saying the following: I want you to look and act like this… Sit still… Try harder… Be like me.

I work with a number of individuals with the characteristics of attention deficit disorder, Asperger’s syndrome and autism. I focus on the gifts of these individuals and don’t perceive them as having disabilities – I continually strive to help others to see the gifts that these individuals have including: [Read more…]

Parenting Your Adolescent into Adulthood

May 1, 2013 By Judy Lipson

If parent and child both want independence and autonomy, why the conflicts?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

There is a process of transition between childhood and adulthood through which children and parents need to progress. The goal is to achieve this with as much ease (for both of you) as possible. Parenting the adolescent is not a hands-off affair and once reaching adulthood, developmental stages don’t end.

According to psychologist Erik Erikson:

ADOLESCENCE: 12-18 = Identity vs. Role Confusion

YOUNG ADULTHOOD: 18-40 = Intimacy vs. Isolation

MIDDLE ADULTHOOD: 40-65 = Generativity vs. Stagnation

LATE ADULTHOOD: 65-Death = Integrity vs. Despair

Developmental timing is a challenge to parenting adolescents and young adults. You are likely assessing your legacies at the time that your most important legacy, your child, has not yet mastered independent living. This makes it difficult to resist the urge to rescue.

PREPARING YOU: This is an important step to allow a relationship with your adult child. [Read more…]

Alleviate Suffering

April 4, 2013 By Judy Lipson

Know the Power of Your Words and Thoughts

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The term “pain and suffering” is most often heard in legal context: Pain refers to the initial discomfort while suffering is the extended anguish. Understanding the source of psychological suffering is intriguing. Learning how to alleviate it will enhance your quality of life.

Best selling author Caroline Myss explains that while pain is something that happens to you, suffering is a choice. When life brings challenges that are neither welcome nor appreciated, you respond with emotions like anger, sorrow, hurt, resentment, jealousy or rage. The length of time that this continues and your subsequent response determine if you will experience only the pain, or suffering as well. [Read more…]

Resiliency

February 22, 2013 By Judy Lipson

You may have more than you realize.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Do you know people who have faced repeated adversity yet live a happy, successful life? People who come to mind include Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, Oprah (poverty and abuse) and child abuse survivor Dave Pelzer (author of A Child Called It). Resiliency is an individual’s ability to cope with stress and adversity by bouncing back. Though often assumed to be a magic trait that you have or you don’t, it is now recognized as something that can be developed.

The following are appropriate for you or your children: [Read more…]

Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

February 2, 2013 By Judy Lipson

Avoid separation from others and within yourself

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Keeping up with the Joneses. It seems like human nature. You look at others and compare. Unfortunately you judge yourself to fall short. But what are you really looking at? You are comparing that in-depth knowledge that you have of yourself to the superficial information that you have of others, as well as to an ideal that doesn’t exist.

Be aware of this unconscious tendency to compare and judge which can put the other on a pedestal, leaving you to feel inadequate and resentful. [Read more…]

Your Inner Child

December 31, 2012 By Judy Lipson

The events that occurred during your childhood can affect you as an adult.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Have you ever had a situation that REALLY bothered you? If an observer was present they might have been surprised at how intensely you were affected; maybe it even surprised you. When an individual has a highly emotional response to a conversation or situation, there is likely a deeper reason for the reaction. When I provide counseling I ask if there was a similar challenging situation that occurred sometime in the person’s history. Often the person doesn’t recognize the connection, but the inner child does.

Who is this inner child? Though you may be an adult, your inner child remains within and remembers the wounds, dramas and traumas from those earlier years. [Read more…]

Reducing Stress and Anxiety

December 1, 2012 By Judy Lipson

Help your child to worry less and feel relaxed.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Kids today have full schedules: school, athletics, family time, and extra-curricular and other activities. Busy kids respond to their hectic lives the same way that adults do: sleep is impacted, proper nutrition ignored, and kids feel generally overwhelmed. Hectic schedules also minimize quiet times that are imperative for development and well-being.

I recently heard a police officer on the radio describing how he takes care of business: he avoids emotion so that he can respond effectively to crises, save people and keep himself protected. Is this the effect that busy schedules have on your child? Your child may move from crisis to crisis (appointments, homework, studying, keeping family and friends happy) and without even realizing, shut down feelings. You may need to guide your child to find the opportunities to open his or her heart, feel emotions and attain inner peace.

If your child also struggles with low self-esteem or perfectionist tendencies, there is an additional subconscious tendency to avoid inner feelings and thoughts. Taking care of business and busyness seem preferable to avoid focusing on the underlying emotions and negative internal messages.

It is important that your child not be constantly focused on activities outside of the self. When your child takes the time to be inwardly aware, then s/he can maintain an open heart, allow emotions, and recognize and develop the authentic self. Teach your children the following skills: [Read more…]

The Importance of Gratitude

October 31, 2012 By Judy Lipson

Recognize the importance of gratitude and appreciation as well as their influence on our well-being.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Some people seem to be graced with optimism. Others focus on the “glass half-empty” and don’t understand the world of optimists. Adults and children alike tend to focus on life events that are disappointing or the ways that they believe they disappointed themselves or others.

In challenging and stressful times it is common to focus primarily on what is desired. We may want time to relax, a peaceful family, relationship harmony, a career/job change, improved health or any number of “wants”. Our kids are not immune. They experience stress over many of the same issues. It is important to help our children move from stress-filled lives and feelings of depression to calm and ease. [Read more…]

Perfectionism

October 2, 2012 By Judy Lipson

Your sloppy, unmotivated child might actually be a perfectionist!

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The irony of perfectionists is that they are often the ones who appear uncaring and unwilling. They appear to have no, or low, standards yet the paradox is that they have set the bar so high that it can’t be achieved. Therefore they offer no effort or attempt given at all. After all, why try when success is unexpected?

Parents and educators observe: [Read more…]

Learning Styles

September 1, 2012 By Judy Lipson

There are no lazy students, but there are kids who learn differently.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

At one time teachers taught from the front of the classroom to students who were expected to remain quietly seated at desks placed in rows, listening silently to the teacher’s instruction, or reading from their text. Most educators now recognize that this is an ineffective educational environment, one which frustrates students, teachers and parents because it does not meet most students’ learning styles.

The prerequisite to understanding learning styles is to accept that people process information and express what they have learned differently. Parents know that each child has a different personality, a different way to approach problems and a myriad of other differences. It is equally important to recognize that children and their parents often have different learning styles. [Read more…]

Embracing Different

Parenting Your Adolescent into Adulthood

Alleviate Suffering

Resiliency

Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

Your Inner Child

Reducing Stress and Anxiety

The Importance of Gratitude

Perfectionism

Learning Styles

Specialties

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