By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Life sure does feel like a roller coaster lately. In my November Newsletter for Transformation, I wrote about the personal transformations that I had been seeing in myself and others in the previous month. I am continuing to see this trend.

If you missed my information about transformation in the November newsletter, you can read it here.

Another common topic last month was my clients’ reactions to the election results. When this came up, my role was to hold a space for their grief and remind them how to regulate their nervous systems. You can read tips on regulation in that same link above.

As I look at the patterns that I see in our society, it makes me wonder if our country is experiencing its own transformation….

I’m a woman of a certain age, and I remember the efforts in the 1960’s and 1970s to facilitate peace, civil rights, and rights for women. We’ve been seeking CHANGE for a long time!

When I think back to when Barack Obama became the president of the United States, his platform was about CHANGE and millions of Americans rallied around his chant: Yes We Can.

I truly believed that we were on the precipice of real growth a few years ago when the inadequacies of our systems were becoming more visible during the #BlackLivesMatter, #MeToo, and other important movements. (You can read more about this in my articles Hope, from January 2021, and Transformation: Let’s Not Miss This Opportunity in March 2022.)

Fast-forward to the end of 2024, and I’m trying to understand the election results. As I’ve listened to the media discuss the possible reasons why our country voted as it did, one pattern stood out to me, and that was the apparent desire for CHANGE. Some appear to be longing for a time when women, immigrants, and people of color had limited rights. (This is something that I truly cannot fathom or condone.) It is theorized that others focused on a single issue – i.e.: our educational system, medical and insurance practices, finances, the Middle East, or government in general. It was their rallying cry for that specific thing to CHANGE. Others took up Vice President Harris’ rallying cry during her campaign: We Won’t Go Back.

The one commonality is CHANGE. It seems that the U.S. is transforming, just as so many of us are experiencing personal transformations. I see in my own and others’ processes how uncomfortable it can sometimes be while we are in the middle of it. It’s not surprising then that something as large as the United States with all its systems, policies, and people would take a long time to achieve CHANGE, nor how messy it can look and feel on the way. (It reminds me of a woman’s experience of navigating perimenopause, while her children are going through adolescence – two big changes simultaneously. 🙃 YIKES! Maybe some of you can relate.)

WHAT’S UP WITH ALL THIS OTHER-ING?

Years ago, I learned that the opposite of love is not hate, but rather it is fear. Fear blocks connection and the potential for understanding, acceptance and love for another. Unfortunately, fear and anxiety also make it more difficult to physiologically access or process new information.

As I thought about this, striving to further understand how so many people in the United States and around the world are focused on hate and personal greed to the exclusion of others, I was reminded of Abraham Maslow’s Self-Actualization Hierarchy.

Maslow taught that it is difficult for an individual to ascend their personal pyramid toward social connection (which is ironically a major way that we calm our nervous systems), when they lack a sense of safety and security.

Sadly, many politicians, leaders and media pundits promote and encourage insecurities by surrounding us with 24-hour news that focuses on breaking news alerts and visual and auditory repetitions. These cause our nervous systems to stay in fight-and-flight mode and to repetitively look for cues of danger.

Many local and national candidates have taken advantage of this fear by describing groups of people as “not like us, but rather like others”.  We have seen throughout history that an effective way to establish power over others is to make people believe that they are endangered and that some other individual or group are the cause furthering fears and separation.

Think about the relevance of the following quote:

First They Came 

by Pastor Martin Niemoller

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out –because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out – because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak for me.

SO, WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT THIS?

First and foremost, sit with and allow your feelings even if they are messy and overwhelming. When you acknowledge the truth of how you feel in this moment and recognize your feelings they can process more quickly.

Be cautious of being sucked into the ever-present fear and anger that our media (and even well-meaning friends) would have us mired in.

Find your center and hold the light! Before engaging with others, or getting mired in negative thoughts, go within to connect with that part of yourself that resonates with peace, light and love.

Remember that you are not alone in your idealism and desires. Find your tribe and stay connected with them.

Keep your vibration up. That might mean not watching a lot of news, and limiting communications with some parts of your community (live, chat, or on social media) who are engrossed in their anger and fear.

IT’S OKAY TO NOT KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT

On the day after the election, I pledged to greet each person that I encountered professionally, socially, or transactionally (walking by an individual, at a store counter, etc.) with a subtle, extra-long eye contact and a connecting smile. I have continued this before and since as I strive to see the true spirit of the individual and connect with that.

Staying in this present moment helps to draw your focus away from the frustrations of the past and the worries/fears of the future. A client (who is also a clinician) told me that when she is interacting with another, she notices that she intentionally holds that space of NOW, forgetting everything else, and finds within it “beauty, love and strength”. We discussed how intention is the key, and how we can deliberately find that space, even in that interminable space in between the times when we already know how to be fully present.

Reach out to others, including those that are different from you. You don’t have to try to “bring them to your side of thinking”. That’s not the point. Identify your similarities – it may be in the work that you do, the family members that you share, the similarities of life situations in your families, your hobbies and interests, or the places that you have traveled. Be creative and seek your commonality to recognize how alike you really are, even as you are different. Twenty years ago, I helped to facilitate a program for healing, a year after the tragedy that was 9/11. We encouraged participants of different faiths, colors, cultures, affluence, and ethnicities to talk to each other and look past their perceived differences as they engaged in various community service projects in and around the city of Detroit. It worked! It was transformative for the 1000 participants … for us all. For more on this, closer to home, read NPR’s article, Have a politically divided family? These tips help you talk across the dinner table.

A year ago, after the October 7^th attack on Israel by Hamas, and the subsequent counterattacks in Gaza, I joined with a Jewish psychiatrist, a Muslim psychiatrist, and a Muslim psychologist to discuss how we can best work with all clients who might have different beliefs, histories or alliances. As busy women, we don’t have the time to meet monthly as we had hoped, but we still meet regularly. I wrote an article about it a year ago, shortly after we began, called Bridging for Peace.

My own transformative experiences have been welcomed and appreciated, and I am additionally privileged to be a part of America’s transformation as well. Still, I had hoped that America’s transformation would be from a foundation of unity, respect, and compassion for others. Instead, the focus seems to be on what can be provided to a single individual, or to a group of people who hold antiquated beliefs even as they’re screaming for CHANGE.

I believe that we all know how important these times are. We care about democracy, our country, our families, and the future of our children and grandchildren. Our difference is in how that vision will look. I would love the end-goal, and the process, to be based in unity, compassion and caring for others.

I hope that you will focus on calming your fearful nervous system while maintaining connection, care, and compassion for others. THIS is where I will hold my light. I hope that you will join me.

Namasté,

Judy

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I find it fascinating how, in my work, certain themes or strategies will appear and then repeat for days or weeks. September, 2022 found me repeatedly talking about the pregnant pause. Let me share an example and see if it resonates with your life journey, as well.

My client could very much sense that a change was coming but had no idea what this next thing was going to be. She could tell that she wanted it and sensed that she needed it to manifest. Why wait? was her inner experience. Because it felt so wonderfully new, good, and necessary, she wanted to experience it right away. Her frustration had her wondering if she was resisting allowing this (assumed) awesome thing to happen. And if so, what was her resistance about?

I understood. In fact, I have had this same experience numerous times. It can be frustrating, and in fact if the individual is not careful, they can jump to an incorrect assumption that they are doing something wrong (or it would be here now).

Another potential error is to “force” what we think is expected. When I belonged to my women’s spiritual group, we used to say this or something better because we realized that we might otherwise inadvertently create a very narrow version of the possibility.

So, I urge my clients to sit in the space between and think of it as the pregnant pause. Men, women, and even those who have never had children, understand that for the most advantageous outcome there needs to be sufficient time for proper development. The same is true of your spiritual path. It needs time for all the pieces to line up properly so that they can indeed manifest. These pieces might include your thoughts, emotions, energy fields, other people, the environment, etc., etc. This is true whether it is for a new job, a move, a spiritual download, or a metaphysical awakening.

You might not be ready to see what is due to emerge —- yet. But if you can be patient and allow the pieces to coalesce in their own time you will likely be delighted with the magnificent outcome. Make peace with the pregnant pause, with that space in-between.

In the world of possibility things are far more expansive than you can imagine. If you try to create the outcome as you think it’s supposed to look, you might stop the process too soon, or cause it to be too narrow in reach. So, give it time. Nurture the experience and the time of waiting. Educate, ready and prepare yourself if you wish, but focus on caring for your mind, body, and spirit. And allow.

Learn to sit patiently so as not to feel the need to control the outcome. Wait…..Wonder…..Allow the light in your eyes to dance with the wonderment of possibility….How magical might this actually be if you allow your Higher Self to determine the outcome? Let’s wait and see.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

A little over two years ago in March 2020, much of our world came to a screeching halt because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Even during this frightening time many observed clear skies and quiet roads, and soon there was a renewed appreciation for educators, health providers, and the many folks who kept supplies in our stores and provided services to us all. There was gratitude for the efforts we took to stay connected to each other. I even appreciated the unique opportunities to enjoy theater and concerts online. During this time I found myself seeing, and seeking out, even the smallest ways to appreciate what was good around me as I found opportunities to support those who had greater need than myself.

I found that during this time there was a quietness within, and many took advantage. I certainly did. That first summer (and honestly since then as well), I have found myself undergoing massive personal transformations that have led to more subtle changes in my professional work. During this time, I have also witnessed the transformations of so many others: clients, colleagues, strangers, friends, and family. This has been a time for transformation, and it wasn’t just for us personally.

This has been a time of forced change and in that first summer of 2020 we saw the additional challenges of a society undergoing great transformation as racial, religious, gender, and cultural prejudices and bigotry became more apparent to us all, providing the opportunity for systems to be adjusted. New and renewed fears embraced us even as the concerns about COVID-19 continued, creating an increased sense of separation and separateness.

As we learned more about these injustices and inequities, I saw citizens come together for goodness and growth.

Unfortunately over time, this opportunity seemed to be lost because as individuals and as a society we have the tendency to focus on fear and its corresponding hate, judgment, and separation and once again that became the focus for those who try to sell news, products, an idea, or a person.

As this third summer awaits us, we have the promises of easier times together for connecting, enjoying warmer weather, and for working on the many societal and global challenges that are before us. Yet this does not appear to be the focus. Rather, the collective focus is now fatigue instead of transformative opportunity. The collective verbalizes being tired – of waiting, of fear, and of people with differing opinions who are perceived as impinging on their own rights and opportunities.

I know that you are tired. I am too. I never expected to see all these challenges especially since I witnessed so many of this in the 60’s and 70’s and know the stories of my own ancestors and others’ lineages. I thought we were past this. But the truth is, we are not. And my fatigue or frustration only serves as apathy. And apathy will NOT get anything resolved. So, I urge you to join me in waking up and showing up.

Please join me now to take a full breath with a prolonged exhalation to help you, and our collective, to shift away from long-standing ideas, beliefs, and processes.

I urge you to think back and feel back (place your hand on your heart please as you do so) to that time when:

• the world felt quieter.
• you had that deeper recognition of the problems that still are before us, and you were willing to see the possibilities that would lead to societal improvement
• you wanted desperately to help us reach the resulting outcome of these changes
• you believed in the possibilities of who we are (Who We Really Are) as one collective, and not as a group of individuals out for themselves

And as you feel that memory stir in your heart, gut, and soul ask yourself what is needed by you to truly Remember (and Maintain) Who You Really Are so you can dig-in to address these societal and global problems. To minimize future fatigue, be sure to take the time to support yourself. For me it is finding regular time, even during the many possibilities to feel despair and frustration, to return to my heart-space and remember my soul’s purpose. To do this I regularly:

• meditate
• view, or go into, nature
• read or watch inspiring stories
• connect with those who lift me up
• find ways that I can help others

Still, I look for ways to support those people or concerns that I know still need improvement with charitable donations or the offer of my time. And if you are in a personal situation where donations of money, services or time are impossible or unavailable that’s okay. Find every opportunity to share a smile when you see friends, family, or strangers. You can never underestimate the power of connecting with another, with your smile, in appreciation of their presence.

Please take one more purposeful breath with me now to assist this transformational shift and to join your heart with the heart of everyone else who feels as we do. It may take time, but we’ve got this!

Namasté (the light in me acknowledges and honors the light within you).

If you are interested in reading more articles by Judy Lipson on transformation, check out these articles from May 2020 on Opportunities and Resilience, and listen to Transformation: 2020 Vision. 

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

(Grief, Near Death Experiences, Death Doulas, d/D Death)

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

GRIEF

As a reader of my newsletter, you know that I am a fan of the work of Karla McLaren and her writings about emotions. A client recently brought one of McLaren’s articles to my attention, and after reading it I found I had a lot of reflections. I hope that you will read the article, and then my reflections. https://karlamclaren.com/grief-the-deep-river-of-the-soul/

I believe the river of souls is that deepest place of ourselves, of each of us, the part that we all have in common: that depth in each of our souls. That part that knows, and feels, and experiences.

In the article she also mentions the river of tears. I suspect this is a metaphor for that place to which all grievers go. That very deep, dark, hard place where you feel heavy and the best you can do is drop. And wail. However, most of our society does not allow that, let alone nurture and support it.

I do like the idea of the altar, especially for complicated and complex grief, because it can be so incredibly overwhelming and all-consuming for the body and the being. And I don’t think she means to insinuate that grief should be over in a matter of a couple of months. But I think her technique, and suggestions for this altar, could be helpful so that the being knows that the intense grief happens here, ceremonially and in real time. And this would allow for the option that when some time passes and you want to live life, while still grieving, you have a way of knowing that this is the place where it can take place safely.

It gives permission to really let the body and the feelings completely release, which is how grief heals. She talks about the need to really go down. To that place that most people don’t want to go to. That place that many in grief have found themselves in, numerous times. That place where so many are terrified to be, to feel. And it seems, within our culture, that to experience this depth, in the days and weeks after, would be so much easier, because our culture might accept a deep grief response, but not after a “given time”.

And then to Ceremonially release the process, by taking down the altar and repurposing the photos and mementos, and by possibly burying or burning some part of it to acknowledge to the being – the self – that this process, depth of process, has now completed.

My greatest take-away from this article is the reminder to all of us that grief is hard, and hurts, and it’s painful, and it’s really really scary. But when you grow up in a culture where you are allowed to wail, wail freely, and wail safely in the circle of loved ones, and the process has the potential of not being nearly so frightening, then everyone has seen that it has an endpoint because everyone has witnessed others do the same.

I found these personal reflections after reading this article quite meaningful. I remember being a kid and either overhearing adult family and friends, or reading in novels, about people who experience that intense grief, and wailing, and being given medicine to be numb to it all. I remember fearing that someday I would be in that intense place of feeling, and that it would be taken away from me. I think that is why this article was something with which I really resonated.

~~~~~~~~~~

NDE (Near Death Experience)

I had the opportunity to hear the personal story of a friend’s NDE that occurred when he had an adverse reaction to a medication. While being treated at the hospital he slipped into unconsciousness. While his wife watched the medical staff work on him, she witnessed the challenges that his physical body experienced – shaking, unconsciousness, etc. When he returned to consciousness, she immediately asked him, “Where were you?” (She knew she didn’t want him to forget.) He spoke of his awareness of being in a space of light. He had no sense of his body in this space, and in fact he could not describe the space itself as he didn’t sense any dimensionality to it. He sensed that the light had no source, yet it was all around, everywhere. He knew he wasn’t seeing any of this with his eyes. He felt great peace.

He has always had a strong sense of the soul/spirit, and wonders if he had the opportunity to observe the presence of his own soul/spirit, particularly without the joint awareness of the body.

Was this an out of body experience (OBE)? Was it a NDE? We can’t know for sure, but a large group of medical personnel were working rapidly to stabilize him when a known blood test/marker was beyond dangerously low. Many patients describe seeing their bodies and hearing their doctors, but this was not this gentleman’s experience. Yet, what seemed far more profound for him was getting to recognize his soul….as a separate entity from his body. You know what they say (and especially since he is alive to tell the tale)…….. PRICELESS!

~~~~~~~~~~

DEATH DOULAS

What? You’re never heard of this? Well, I hadn’t either. Years ago I attended a conference by Jewish Hospice and Chaplaincy about death and grief. It was a profound day, and I was intrigued to learn about death doulas. I was fascinated by the concept and wondered if in the future I might join hospice or become a certified doula. But I had enough on my plate personally and professionally and decided that “there was always the future”.

I had previously heard about birth doulas though not until after my three (now adult) children had been born. The role of the birth doula is also intriguing to me and is to support the mom and the birth process, helping individuals transition into life.

Correspondingly, death doulas help with the dying process.

This past April, my 92-year-old father passed away. We were blessed to have the presence of hospice workers to support his process and our family. (And I highly recommend that if you currently, or in the future, are dealing with the death of a loved one that you bring in a hospice team. They help the patient to die with dignity, and in comfort, and they are amazingly supportive for the family members.)

On the night that my dad died I called for a hospice nurse to see him. She was such a blessing. She took his vitals, observed him, and explained to me that his time was drawing near. She drew my attention to how he looked outward and beyond without focusing in the room. She explained that he was hovering between the realms – this one where his body was, and “the other side of the veil” where I knew his soul/spirit was going. She gently touched him, and called his name, and gave him permission to go to those whom he saw on the other side who were waiting for him. I recognized then that as a hospice nurse her role was also that of death doula, supporting his process for him and for me.

But there is actually more to this story. You may know that I do a lot of energetic, meditative, journey-work. I’m realizing that much of it is shamanic in nature. During the last weeks of my dad’s life it was very hard to communicate with him and I began to talk to him soul-to-soul and also in light language.

In those last days of his life, as my dad’s time drew to an end, I found myself engaging in energy work, non-traditional communication, and shamanic journeys to facilitate his transition. It was a profound experience for me and our relationship, and I really believe that it was profound for him as well. I am very appreciative that Spirit provided me the necessary guidance so that I could be his death doula.

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d/D DEATH – TRANSFORMATION

Recently I wrote about T/t trauma and explained that most people think of the more traditional explanation of trauma (T) that includes assault, war, accident, etc.; and that Sensitives experience (t) traumas daily when their sensory experiences create a physiologic effect that is similar to those who experience T trauma and PTSD. Read more about T/t Trauma here.

While talking with a colleague recently about death, transformation, the work that I do as a therapist, and my recent role as death doula, we realized that the process of dying and death can also be explained with a ‘D’ and a ‘d’.

Death with a D is the more obvious and traditional, referring to one’s transition from this life on Earth including one’s release of the physical body to cross the veil.

Death with a small d can refer to all those things that one releases during one’s lifetime, including but not limited to: expectations, prior beliefs, ineffective patterns, relationships, and old ways of defining oneself. One experiences a small d death process when they retire, leave a job, become empty nesters, etc. Interestingly, one also processes the small d death process when they head off to college, marry, start a new job, have children, move to a new home or any other significant change. As we do each of these things we have the opportunity to release our old patterns and definition of self in order to shift to our new experience, and thus have a fuller awareness of Who We Really Are.

I invite you to look at the puzzle of your life up to this point. How many ways have you redefined yourself in relationship, in work, or even in your inner experience? And how many of those old patterns are you still carrying with you? Do they drag you down? Drag you back? Author Carolyn Myss cautions us that if we continually look into the rear view mirror of our life, then we will be led by our caboose (our past) rather than our engine. I invite you to release your old patterns as well as your previous definitions so that you can embrace Who You Really Are now.

As a result of all these reflections, I now understand the more expansive definition of the death doula’s role. S/he is one who helps others to release their old, tired, and ‘dead’ patterns, and to assist in true transformation.

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That might have been a lot for you to read and process. How are you doing? I would love to hear your stories, and your reflections.

If you are interested in learning more about talking soul-to-soul you can read the article Soul to Soul Communication that I wrote in 2004. I will write about Light Language in the future.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
(From ‘Turn! Turn! Turn!’ by The Birds)

When I look back at 2020, I primarily see the breaking-down aspect that is stated in this lyric. Breaking down reminds us of destruction, which is defined as: the action or process of causing so much damage to something that it no longer exists or cannot be repaired. Though that feels like a really bad thing, and like you, I often felt overwhelmed or distraught during 2020, I realize that the process can have very positive outcomes. We are dismantling the previous paradigms in order to determine what aspects should stay, what should go, and what should change dramatically. I am actually quite thankful for the dismantling of so many of our systems and beliefs, though it was challenging to observe and live through.

2021 has arrived, and now it’s time to build up! It’s human nature to long for the continuation of what was and wait for (or force) its return. I urge you instead to take some calming breaths and think back to the months and years before 2020 when you actually may have longed for some type of change for yourself, for our country, or for the global collective. I encourage you in the upcoming months to look at aspects of your own life and of our global society to determine what practices and beliefs have become outdated, stale, or are now recognized as wrong. Is it time for you to create something?

This may seem like it requires great courage. I believe you have that courage to begin the creation of what you have always sought. Think back to previous events when great change occurred, particularly when it wasn’t originally your idea – this might be a break-up, a job change (or loss), or a move. Whatever that situation, remember how frightened, ungrounded, and lost you likely felt. Then weeks or months later it’s not uncommon to be able to look back on that original event and recognize the silver-lining that resulted.

I believe we are in the midst of one of these situations. All around us we can see the breakdown of our institutions. And that can feel really scary, especially when we don’t know when the process will end, or how it will look.

Besides watching systems change so significantly, it’s all happening during a pandemic. The novel coronavirus, COVID-19, is affecting many people in new ways. New information comes to light, the vaccines are becoming available, but the distribution moves slower than most individuals would prefer. You may find yourself wondering things like: How will this new information affect me? How long will these recommendations last? When and how will my activities alter? When will this end? Will this end? Will my life ever return to normal?

Here we are in unprecedented territory! We are uncertain of what is to come, how it will affect us, and how to navigate the entirety of it. I want to encourage each of you to focus on a few concepts as we approach these “unprecedented” significant changes. Let’s start by drawing our awareness to the complexity of the term. The definition of unprecedented is never done or known before. It relates to all the things happening to us and around us. Since it has never occurred before, I don’t think it is reasonable to assume that there is a distinct roadmap to get through it. I don’t bring this up to frighten, but rather to open your awareness to realizing that your roadmap won’t be found by looking backward.

Here are some considerations as you look within and forward:

PATIENCE
Strive to be patient with the process. Focus on being in the present as much as possible. It’s good to see the goals of what we seek and hope for, but don’t get too ahead of yourself. You don’t want to pinch off or stifle opportunities, and you don’t want to freak yourself out focusing on the unknown of what is to come. Stay in the now.

RECOGNIZE IMPERMANENCE
Remind yourself that even though it is this way now, it doesn’t mean it will remain like this. Your emotions can change, the situation can change, the information can change. Things are delightfully impermanent, and this is especially helpful when you’re not thrilled with the current feelings or events. This three-minute video by Dr. Lynn Lyons shares specific questions to consider if you feel stuck. This is especially important for kids and teens who have less life experience and thus a narrower perspective, and this is also a great strategy for adults.

CREATE
Create what you desire with as much clarity as you can. Include as many of your senses as possible. Focus on what you hope to see as the end result, and in doing so there is more potential for helping to move it to that outcome. You might make a vision board (pictures and words that represent what you want), journal your narrative, sketch the vision, or dance or write the score for what you desire. Be imaginative and let your creativity flow. Try not to lock in your vision, so you can allow for this, or something better.

COURAGE
An interesting aspect that I recently realized about our current experience is that, as stated earlier, we are all facing this unprecedented event. As Dr. Emily Morse reminds us: this isn’t a YOU problem, it’s an EVERYONE problem. As we experience and create something new, and I mean really new, we are for the first time doing so without the benefit of others who can show us the way. Even as adults we have typically had others to show us how – how to play that sport, how to drive the car, how to do this job assignment, etc. We’ve always had direction or training. In our current situation we have multiple professionals, leaders, medical personnel and scientists to inform and work on the big issues, but we still generally have no one to show us how to navigate all of this unknown territory. If you are still feeling lost and afraid, return to the previous concepts. Be patient. Empower yourself by starting to create what you want. Stay in the present. Identify what you know, right now, and include all those things for which you are grateful.

TRUST
Trust the process. Sometimes that means recognizing that you cannot think your way through solutions. I recently realized that sometimes it is better to not try to think my way to resolution or understanding.  I am learning to accept the space that I am currently in, allow for all possibilities, and then I find that I often gently and naturally slide toward the solution. A client described it as ‘from the heart’ and went on to state that this then leads to flexibility, malleability, and nimbleness, as opposed to a rigid response with unmoving expectations. For those of you who prefer sports analogies – in skiing and other sports, you are taught to let go and fall into the fall because if you are rigid while falling, there’s a stronger likelihood of being hurt. Open your whole self to finding (allowing for) the answer instead of narrowing your expectancy to only a mental solution.

CREATION
Though you and I, and the collective, are still in the breaking-down phase, we are simultaneously in the phase of creation. Guide, facilitate, and affirm your outcome. State your intention with surrender and trust. You and I are intending the womb of humanity. As the song, Turn! Turn! Turn! by The Birds says:

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late

Join me in embracing the possibilities. Nurture them and create anew. Namasté

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

When I recently updated my logo, I returned to the image of my original spiral. It seems appropriate now to explain the story of that spiral and its significance in my life and work.

This story starts several decades ago when I was learning to reduce my anxiety. Knowing me now, you wouldn’t even believe how anxious I was as a youth and early(ier) adult! I was taught breathing and calming exercises, and then meditation. Even that was frightening for this anxious young woman. But little by little over the course of a year I began to let go and allow my body and mind to relax as I returned to my roots as an intuitive empath.

Eventually I began to notice visualizations in these early meditations. The shape was always the same – a spiral. It always had the same direction and the same number of whorls. Eventually, I tried to do research to find out more, but if you can believe this, there was very little about spirals. Without the internet (or maybe it had just begun), there were no links to spiritual messages. There were books, but they only talked about spirals in nature (i.e.: the nautilus shell, plants, etc.) and mathematics (i.e.: the Fibonacci spiral). However, none of that felt satisfying to understand why I was seeing spirals, and this specific spiral, in repeated meditations.

Eventually, I began to experience more diverse visualizations in my meditations. Yet I always remembered those spirals. THAT spiral.

Fast forward to February of 2002 when I opened my private practice, Spiral Wisdom LLC. In the year prior, while I tried to develop a name, I remembered (how could I forget!!) my link to spirals and incorporated it in my business name. I thought this was a full circle moment, but that was yet to come.

My original logo had a very raw image of my spiral, so in 2010 I worked with a graphic designer who suggested a really cool logo that incorporated a spiral into a hand. I accepted it, and even loved it, but I have to be honest that I always missed MY spiral.

In 2012 I traveled to Sedona for a retreat to acknowledge the significance of the date, 12/12/12. As part of our events, we traveled to a local petroglyph site (dated 500 CE – 1425 CE). Our docent was discussing the significance and meanings of the various carvings on the large wall. Most of these carvings were very elaborate and could be measured in feet (see photo below).

I noticed that some of the attendees had circled around to the side wall, so I did so as well. I almost missed it since it was only about 2 inches in diameter. There, as clear as could be was MY spiral (see below). I got so excited I kind of made a scene. LOL The docent was wondering what was going on. He later explained that though he didn’t have an explanation for the meaning of the spiral, it is located on what is considered the women’s wall of the site.

Fast forward to when I celebrated my 60^th birthday with a special ceremony to publicly state, aloud, before my attendees, all the names that had ever been used to identify me, including my maiden name, nick-names, some names from meditations, and my current name. I stepped forward (with an awesome staff that had been loaned to me for this ritual) as me. It was phenomenal. It was transformative! Yet, in hindsight, it was nothing.

Continued work has led me to realize that I had been unwilling to trust exposing myself. I see that I had been hiding behind my business name. I was writing everything business-related on social media under my Spiral Wisdom LLC page. Even my monthly newsletter (which I’ve been writing for eight years) was called The Spiral Wisdom Newsletter.

In the last quarter of 2020 I began to fully acknowledge myself as Judy Lipson and I’m ready to be fully recognized professionally this way. No more hiding! (And my newsletter and website banners have been redesigned with the new logo).

Now, don’t get me wrong. I will always recognize my business as Spiral Wisdom LLC. Spirals, and the wisdom of spirals, are integral to the work that I do. Most people talk of therapy being the peeling away of the layers of an onion to reach the core issues. While this is true, one can also view the movement of the spiral directing one’s awareness to deeper and more integral aspects of their healing; or in reverse, to see how the healing of core issues affects all aspects of one’s life. And seen 3-dimensionally, the spiral becomes a vortex – a powerful space for transformative change.

My 60^th ceremony was the time of ritually stepping forward to own who I was. Creating this new logo and claiming my professional life as Judy Lipson is doing so at a deeper level. From the perspective of the spiral I can see how this is a perfect analogy of going to the center to be the core of me. But the reverse whorl is also the perfect analogy. I have gone inward to find and identify me, and now I’m taking all of that outward, along the whorls of the spiral, transforming myself and spreading the message.

And what is the message? Right now it’s all about helping people to:

• Appreciate Sensitives
• Understand transformation
• Remember and Become Who You Really Are
• Navigate the larger picture of the changes that are happening in our society during this transformative time

I have no idea if this message and mission will morph over time. I just know that I’m happy to show up as Judy, to do this work, and to release that fear of being seen.

Judy

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

This pandemic is getting so difficult for so many! This is really not surprising! It’s been nearly 6 months since many began their sheltering-in-place practices. When the weather got nice, and school was over for “summer vacation”, there was an especially acute longing to get back to life – as we knew it. After all, summer is that glorious time when we travel with our families, by ourselves, or with special friends to escape the harried life of work and home responsibilities. Summer has become equivalent for many of us as the time for escape. But instead of getting the green light to take our escape, we were met with resistance. Some saw the resistance coming from the CDC, or their governmental leaders, while some recognized that this is a result of the impact of the novel coronavirus. Regardless, many see this as a time when one’s desires are being thwarted. And we don’t like that!!

In all my years of talking to people I’ve realized that one’s ability to shift and adapt varies. Actually, I will rephrase that to say one’s willingness to shift and adapt varies! One way to improve your adaptability is through equanimity. I’ve written about it previously, but I want to discuss it again in the context of COVID-19, and all that it is revealing to us socially, politically, environmentally, financially, educationally, medically, etc, etc.

I’d like to invite you to take a few introspective moments and look at “being uncomfortable”. This is not about justification that you have a right to your thought or feeling. We’re going deeper than that. Do you even have an awareness of the discomforting thought, feeling, or action? Or have you been so intent on avoiding the discomfort that you hadn’t even sat with it long enough to recognize it occurring? Identify what drives you, what troubles you, what ultimately makes you uncomfortable. In other words, what have you been avoiding or running from?

• Thoughts: i.e., “I don’t want there to be a pandemic.” “There really isn’t anything to be afraid of or react to.” “People aren’t going to tell me what I can or can’t do.” “I deserve this …… (vacation, experience, etc).” Those are only some of the possible thoughts that may have led to your discomfort. What are yours?
• Feelings: Anger and fear are the main emotions that people discuss. But I encourage you to go deeper. Is there frustration? Grief? Loneliness? Anxiety? Worry? Sadness? A sense of betrayal or injustice? Disappointment? Agitation? Feeling misunderstood? What feeling(s) are you experiencing? And have you been running from them?
• Actions: For some people, this is the easiest route to then access the rest. What action have you been taking that has provided you the opportunity to not have to feel the uncomfortable emotion, or think the uncomfortable thought, that you identified above?  For instance, these are two extreme positions, but do you go into public with no consideration of the CDC recommendations? Do you stay home in your bubble when it is not medically required? What actions might you be taking that provide you an escape to avoid feeling the uncomfortable emotions or thoughts?

Now I would like to invite you to look at all of this a bit differently. Most folks’ experiences have led them to become wired to expect only the status quo, or that which was previously in existence. As a result, you may feel that you should avoid change. Change and discomfort, however, do not equal dangerous! So I encourage you to have a conscious inner conversation to reframe the situation and allow opportunity.

Seeking equanimity can help with this by providing you with a greater sense of peace during the challenging situation. (I think this pandemic qualifies as challenging! Don’t you?!) Equanimity is the acceptance of what is. As I explain to my clients, this type of acceptance doesn’t mean that you shout, “Oh goody! This is awesome. I love it. Bring on more.” No, it’s rather a type of acknowledging that what is … IS … for right now. You might still choose to make the inner changes (like acceptance, forgiveness, empowerment, etc), and/or seek to change the situation that you are not accepting (like racism, mysogeny, various inequalities, etc). Equanimity is the practice of finding the peace within your situation, which will ultimately help you to make the changes that you seek internally and externally, more effectively.

When you can experience equanimity you will find that there is less resistance in your situation. See if you can follow this visual: Imagine that you are looking at a ball. This ball represents the issue at hand – that really icky situation like COVID, or like your uncomfortable thought or feeling that you identified earlier. The situation – the ball – is bad enough. It’s already hard to to deal with. But now if you add resistance, you’ve just put a very large coating around the ball. The ball may now feel twice the size of the original situation. There is no need to add resistance. Remember, the “ball” feels like it’s enough of a hurdle all by itself. So remove the resistance, using equanimity, and allow the uncomfortable feelings to feel more tolerable and more manageable.

I want to address one last thing in this article. I stated in the first paragraph: “…there was an especially acute longing to get back to life – as we knew it”. I’d like to caution you about this concept. Change is normal. It’s part of our own personal development – you are not the same as you were in your childhood or teen years. In fact, approximately each decade of adult aging brings about changes. (You might look up Dr. Levinson’s Seasons of Life Theory to learn more.) Change is also part of society’s development. If you look back at history you see the identification of the industrial and technological revolutions, to name a few. I was alive during the civil rights era, the space race, and women receiving greater rights through feminism. What’s likely unprecedented is for us to live through these many current changes, with the onslaught of informational awareness, and to have so many changes occurring all at once during a global pandemic.

Certainly, our knee-jerk desire is for it all to go away, and to return to what we are used to. But we should not want to return to “normal”! We are understanding and recognizing more and more that what we saw as normal, the status quo, was inferior. We can do better. We deserve better. No one need settle for less.

So I urge you. Take a few minutes (with a trusted friend or professional, if needed) and look within. What have you been hiding from? Bring it to the surface. Look at it. Bring it into accurate perspective. Remove the layers of fear and resistance. Seek equanimity with it and within yourself. Then you will have the ability to make an accurate assessment of what you actually want to change and how to get there.

Take a few minutes and look at the changes that seem to be happening around you. Don’t rush to put things back the way they were, nor to create what you think it should be, because you may not yet know the best outcome for it to be. In Alcoholics Anonymous they understand the following: If you always do what you always did, then you will always get what you always got. These are important times and there’s no need to have a knee-jerk reaction to any of it.

Drop your fear and your anger. Open your heart to self and others. Seek acceptance of what is … as equanimity.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Many professionals describe resilience as the ability of a child or individual to respond successfully to their life’s challenges.

Do you know people who have faced repeated adversity yet live a happy, successful life? People who come to mind include Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, Oprah (poverty and abuse) and child abuse survivor Dave Pelzer (author of A Child Called It). Resiliency is an individual’s ability to cope with stress and adversity by bouncing back. Though often assumed to be a magic trait that you have or you don’t, it is now recognized as something that can be developed.

And right now, during the novel coronavirus pandemic, people are talking about resilience with regularity.

The following are appropriate for you or your children:

• Develop your decision-making skills, assertiveness, independence, impulse control, and problem solving.
• Have a sense of humor. Laugh in the face of adversity by enjoying funny jokes and movies.
• Improve your confidence by acknowledging what you are good at and valuing your self-worth.
• Increase your coping resources such as nutrition, exercise and meditation to reduce stress as well as increase resilience.
• Share your troubles with friends and professionals for solutions, resources and perspective.
• Be grateful for what you do have and appreciate the simple things in life.
• Take action, no matter how small.
• Be of service to others. Happiness and well-being are enhanced when you engage in an act of kindness.

Recognize that most of life’s hardships are temporary. When you can’t change something outside yourself, even a life-changing event can be viewed differently by changing your internal response to the event.

Avoid catastrophizing. See situations for what they are. Byron Katie, founder of The Work, which is a method of self-inquiry, guides people through these four questions to confront their beliefs:

• Is it true?
• Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
• How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
• Who would you be without the thought?

Resiliency allows you to interact with the environment that is present. Some family members try to protect loved ones from all discomfort and hardship, but the goal is to learn to reduce your unproductive responses while developing tolerance for what remains.

Allow the uncomfortable emotions to be present with your other feelings. Don’t allow the “negative” emotion to overwhelm you into believing that it is the only one present. For instance, you can say, “I’m sad about this and I’m grateful for that.”

Find your courage to be aware of and feel the emotion that you are avoiding. Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth,says to look at the pain as an opportunity to learn and problem solve. Tolle explains the tendency to run away from uncomfortable feelings; he encourages people to develop the habit of moving toward the pain. You probably don’t realize that the process of running from your pain – avoidance, alcohol, excessive work, computer games, or OCD rituals – actually produces more problems than remaining still to look at what you are avoiding. These negative behaviors never really work and typically create their own harmful effects. The next time you have a desire to begin an avoidant behavior, take a breath and allow yourself to see what you nearly avoided. When you look at it for what it really is, it’s not nearly as frightening as what you thought and your accomplishment will feel great.

Learn to go with the flow. I love the analogy of water flowing in a stream. When water encounters a rock, it doesn’t bang against it repeatedly screaming, “Why are you always in my way?” Instead, water flows around the rock.

Resilient people expect to bounce back, and they also realize that they can often influence outcome. When you can’t influence your external world, you can still influence your inner thoughts. Looking at life from a greater perspective is like looking at a tapestry. The back of that tapestry has knots and threads that represent the life that you live day to day. When looking at the front of the tapestry you can see the whole, the greater perspective.

Trauma therapists recognize the impact of Adverse Childhood Effects (ACEs) on an individual’s ability to recover from a subsequent trauma; and recently the medical community has acknowledged the effect of ACEs on long-term health. Rather than seeing this as a sentence for negative consequences, recognize the importance to address your history and release these traumas. And know that ANY person (not just the parents/caregivers) can become the stable person in that individual’s life, the one who provides the anchor and stability for them to rise above adversity.

It was once believed that resiliency was something you had to be born with, that happiness came from good luck, and those individuals who lived through challenging circumstances and events were destined for additional life drama and a life seen through pessimistic eyes. Not true! Don’t focus on your risk factors; resiliency is based on your ability to bounce back. Develop yours now and live life and your dreams with optimism.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The challenge: For generations we have run from the stillness and the silence. Though many of us have been able to enjoy the occasional “quiet” that nature can provide, the majority of people feel threatened when encountering any stillness or silence because of their own inner noise. This inner chatter can be deafening due to the quality of the chatter: There is an inordinate amount of judgment. The judgment towards other people is bad enough, especially for those who really do wish to be compassionate towards others, but the inner judgment that is directed to oneself is frightening and damaging.

Why is it that we condemn ourselves at every turn and with every possibility? Sometimes when you look back at your history you can see how the patterns were established within your family. You can also see the patterns that have been established and perpetuated from our society, including the belief that we live in a world of scarcity. We have each been led to believe that there truly is not enough to go around. We think that if you have something then I will not have enough. We think that if you have toilet paper (chuckle), then there won’t be enough for me. And it isn’t just the tangible items that we feel we need to collect. This also applies to the other aspects of our life that are so important, like freedom, power, comfort and love.

The opportunity: Production and movement have slowed. The world is quieter. News clips, from before re-opening, showed empty roads with a solitary pedestrian or car. Folks in faraway communities have been talking about the ability to see the sky and the land. I read that there’s a section of the Himalayas that is suddenly visible from a far away city, and multiple cities that had been beleaguered by pollution are now viewing clearer skies.

If you’ve been fortunate to recognize the good news during this pandemic, you can see and hear the signs of people who are transforming. The compassion for our fellow man is present. Like those before us who have been called to the front lines of a war to protect their families and community, our own front-liners have stepped forward. These are of course our healthcare workers and first-responders who put their families and their own lives on the line every day to protect each of us. But the lesser-known acts of service are also apparent: I read of an animal shelter that managed to find homes for every pet. There are people who are dealing with their own financial or food insecurity who are helping to support those who are less fortunate. I am also deeply moved by the various agencies and companies that are now collaborating together in an unprecedented way to find solutions and cures for us all.

When I see these stories I know I am witnessing the shift. Even if it may be slow, I am seeing evidence of those individuals and groups who recognize the abundance that is available for each of us, and the beauty that occurs when we place ourselves in a position to share. I realize that some of my readers are not feeling financially secure right now. And it’s hard to imagine giving anything when one is financially insecure. I encourage you to remember that not all giving need be financial. You can give time to another (even virtually). You can also give compassion, and love.

This time of stillness is providing many opportunities for change. If you are fortunate enough to have time that you didn’t previously have, look at your possibilities. What activities did you not have time for previously? I have regular video calls with my out-of-state friends and colleagues. Recently I received a call from an out-of-state cousin that I haven’t seen or spoken to for years. There’s even time to learn something that has always been of interest. (I have increased my yoga practice, and just started voice lessons). What are you longing to try? With whom do you want to (re)connect?

I also encourage you to use this time to evaluate who you are and what you desire. Realize that over the course of our lives it is natural to self-reflect, and thus determine what is important to us? We all did this as children and adolescents when we determined which of our parents’ and society’s beliefs were the ones that we wanted in our own lives rather than blindly following those messages that came from those before us. What we sometimes do not know or recognize is that you do this repeatedly as adults. What values, activities, and relationships reveal who you are? To assist this quest, you might try these questions by Deepak Chopra:

• Who am I?
• What do I want?
• What is my purpose?
• What am I grateful for?

Embrace the opportunity to review and reflect on who you are and who you want to be. Give it time, and make this a no-judgment-zone. Trusted mentors and professionals can assist you so as to not jump back into judgment, or to run back into the inner and outer noise, away from your potential. Learn how to embrace the inner stillness. Learn how to return to love.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

If you’ve ever been involved in therapy or self-improvement you have unknowingly been involved with your shadows. Additionally, you might be surprised to know that if you have ever been angry with another person, you were likely interacting with your own shadow in that situation.

The shadow is that part of you that you’d prefer to not admit to or look at. Interestingly, after doing your shadow-work you may find it easier to accept your human-ness, and even accept your imperfections, and yourself, as being ‘just perfect’.

Shadow work may seem like the hardest work that you have ever done, but it is also the most profound for providing insightful life-changing transformations. Here are techniques to begin your shadow-work.

Since many people want to ease into making life-changes, you can begin with the more traditional self-improvement efforts that you’ve already considered. Are any of your actions now habits that are not serving a beneficial purpose? Do you want to take control of that now? Dealing with these issues will familiarize you with the process of making changes and allow you to realize that though there might be emotional discomfort, it is temporary. Confidence and security are paramount when you are addressing the tough issues that you wish you didn’t see – your shadows.

When you have adequately tackled one or more of those habits/behaviors and are ready to dig deeper, consider the following questions that were shared at a recent retreat by Karlta Zarley to identify a potential shadow issue for your exploration.

• What is no longer needed?
• What is no longer wanted?
• What is no longer in your best interest?
• What are you afraid to look at?
• What have you never even considered?
• What is not tangible, yet you still know it’s important (for instance, an intuitive knowing)?
• What have you not seen at all (obviously one of the hardest to find)?

Although shadow work can seem daunting, I urge you to consider the importance of this work, and engage. Acknowledging, addressing and healing these deep issues can positively affect your:

• Relationships
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Self-worth
• And even the inter-generational patterns that have affected you.

But beware of the shadow-sleaze. The shadow sleaze will pipe up with a rationale that will tempt you to think that you are justified. Here’s an example of shadow work and the shadow-sleaze:

Let’s imagine that you realize you have a problem with anger, and have decided that your angry eruptions, especially at work, are not in your best interest (see bullet #3 above). When you dig deep into your shadow, you begin to recognize that this anger you experience at work is similar to how you frequently feel or felt in the presence of your father (or mother, or siblings, or teacher, or someone else). Good for you! You are now acknowledging your own connections to this anger. You are realizing that your historical self is getting triggered, and therefore your response is not just about the individual at work.

But just as you begin to take responsibility for that part of it, so you will have the potential to respond instead of react, your shadow-sleaze pipes up and says, “Are you kidding? You have every right to be angry! This is not about YOU.” If you listen to the message of your shadow-sleaze you will miss your opportunity to feel calmly in control, by responding instead of angrily reacting. Rather, talk back to your shadow-sleaze and assure it that you don’t need to respond with your old angry pattern to defend yourself; the truth is that you never were truly protecting yourself.

Continue your important work of identifying your shadows and getting to the roots of your issues. You will then be more able to access a wider range of emotional and behavioral responses, have calmer relationships, experience reduced anxiety and depression, and have a greater sense of self-worth.

If you are reading this, you may intuitively know that you are being called to begin your shadow work. You may also be recognizing the shadows in society coming to the surface. Since this is a time for deep healing – of societal patterns and individuals – all issues must be brought out of the shadows in order to be seen and subsequently addressed. Though it may seem uncomfortable in the short run, the benefits are substantial, and well worth it.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.