By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I had never intended to work with folks who deal with significant traumas, so when my colleague and friend suggested that I accompany her to see Bessel van der Kolk who was speaking in Ann Arbor on trauma, I insistently told her no, several times. But Barb can be very persistent and so I signed up for this great opportunity. I can’t thank her enough! This is one of those trainings that has greatly informed my work with Sensitives.

Dr. van der Kolk taught the group about the common responses that individuals frequently experience emotionally, relationally, and especially physically as a result of their traumatic experience. Because of his information, I suddenly had this ah-hah about the Sensitives that I work with and recognized how their experiences can be understood in the context of trauma that we recognize professionally and as a society. (I now refer to major illness, assault, accident, war, abuse, and neglect as the big T traumas). This information has informed my work ever since, and is key to what I teach my families, my clients, and professional groups about Sensitives.

Sensitives are those who are highly attuned to one or more of the 5 senses (taste, touch, see, hear, smell) and are typically also very intuitive, empathic and energy-aware. At the time of that conference, I already knew of the strong sensory awareness in the autistic population and was seeing it in folks who often experience ADHD and/or anxiety. I began to see the students and adults that I worked with as being on this sensory continuum of Sensitives. I focused on identifying these folks and helping them and others to focus on their strengths while mitigating their weaknesses. At the time I had only a few techniques to address the challenges for Sensitives. These included explaining the situation to their loved ones and their teachers so they can ‘walk a mile in their shoes’; recommending the removal of fluorescent lights, using natural lighting, and generally dimming room lights to address light sensitivity; and teaching the individuals how to modulate their empathic gifts.

Dr. van der Kolk explained that after a trauma the body becomes extremely reactive physiologically to subsequent triggers. Professionals began to recognize this after WWI when the soldiers came back “shell shocked”. In 1980 we diagnosed it PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and realized that it applies to events other than war like accidents, serious illnesses, assaults, abuse, etc. Subsequently, professionals learned specialized treatments including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to address this disorder. (Incidentally, if you are interested in a cutting-edge treatment, check out Havening.org).

The training further explained how if an individual experiences a trauma after successive other traumas (warfare, childhood abuse or neglect, etc.) that their physiologic responses, behaviors, and emotions are likely to be more intense and persistent. And that’s when I understood the physiologic effect with highly sensitive nervous systems (Sensitives). Imagine if you will a sense that is most pronounced for you: maybe it is a particular item of clothing that you find minimally tolerable, or walking on a crowded street in a bustling city, or having to stand near a very loud sound source, or having to stay in the presence of an individual that you just can’t stand. Now imagine that discomfort happening all day long and you can’t make it go away, because it won’t or can’t stop, or you are not allowed to get away from it. This is the experience of a Sensitive – being inundated in life, in school, and even within their own body 24/7 (there are those who say that sleep doesn’t effectively push a pause button on this sensory input) without significant relief. And THIS was my ah-hah: that Sensitives are living with repetitive little t traumas, and the body is responding similarly to how we understand the responses of folks who have suffered the more traditional big T traumas.

Having this new information about the experiences of Sensitives means that I can use a new set of options when working with them and when explaining their situations to others. One of these new awarenesses is to understand that most Sensitives aren’t having tantrums, but rather are experiencing meltdowns. Meltdowns can be best understood in terms of the sensory overload that is occurring from 24/7 input. Their system (physiology) just can’t take one more thing. Remember the story of the straw that broke the camel’s back? This is what is happening to sensitives when the sensory input from their 5 senses or their own or other people’s emotions becomes too much and takes them from ‘0-60’ for seemingly no apparent reason. But now we can understand that there definitely ARE reasons, and we need to identify them and help minimize them where possible.

A term that I have heard used to describe common behaviors of those in the autistic population is PDA – Pathological Demand Avoidance. It seems to refer to a negative trait where the individual refuses to comply with what is requested. It is akin to ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). With my new understanding of Sensitives and trauma, I see these avoidances as a distinct effort to protect oneself from overwhelm. With that understanding one wouldn’t use a punitive or behavioral approach, but rather a look at the antecedents to see how we can reduce or remove the triggers creating the overwhelm.

When we understand the effects on the body, we realize that to approach treatment from only a cognitive or behavioral approach means to miss a critical part of the experience of the individual. To address the physiologic effects of the body I (and others) use techniques that include:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitizing and Reprocessing)
• Havening (Havening.org)
• Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique; TheTappingSolution.com)
• Breath work
• Mindfulness practices
• Relaxation
• Movement
• Somatic work which includes watching the body, the breath, the body tension, etc., and providing opportunities for the body to release the trapped trauma response. (These include the work of Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Ron Siegel, Patricia Ogden, Stephen Porges’ polyvagal theory, etc.)

I was recently listening to a podcast by Dr. Brene Brown who was interviewing Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry about their new book, What Happened to You? Dr. Perry, a neuro-biologist and trauma specialist says, “Instead of asking what is wrong with these kids, ask what happened to these kids?” He then suggests the consideration of the What Do You Expect Disorder? He continues to explain that any pattern of behaviors that activates your stress response system and leads to an alteration in how that system is functioning, leads to an overactivity and an over reactivity. All kinds of people have tiny little experiences that activate the stress response system. And if that pattern is prolonged enough, it leads to the very same changes in the brain as a big T trauma, and is an underestimated and underappreciated component of the trauma narrative.

In light of Dr. Perry’s work and my observations, I encourage you to always look at the antecedents (that which comes before the troubling behavior), particularly those that are in the sensory realm and those that are clearly triggering emotions for your individual. As you do, walk a mile in their shoes in order to see the significance of those antecedents. Then strive to minimize their intensity and frequency, and to teach your individual the necessary skills to tolerate that which cannot be changed.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The more I understand about empaths, the more I learn concepts that I had never considered. Please read to the end for the newest information.

Empaths experience more than empathy. Empaths not only care about the others’ feelings, but also feel the other’s physical sensations and/or emotions in their own being. It’s a wonderful gift and is especially prominent in those who serve in the healing professions; yet this gift is often accompanied by the challenges that can arise when one feels deeply, intensely and expansively.

Unfortunately our society doesn’t talk about it (thereby normalizing it), nor do we teach our children to understand, accept and foster this gift, thus minimizing potential challenges.

How I have approached the challenges:

• Cognitively: It is not your role to take in the fullness of another’s experience so that they may be spared their own distress. As a healer (medical, spiritual, or even as a friend), you only need enough information to know what the individual experiences in order to direct them, or your healing modality, to their healing. For this to happen, you only need a little information. Think filling a thimble instead of a bathtub.
• Energetically: Now that you understand ‘why’ you needn’t bring it all in to you, it is often important to know how to modulate the entry. I use the visual model of the whale or dolphin’s blowhole, which opens after coming to the surface of the water, and closes before diving again. Since it is most likely that you access others’ energetic information at your gut, close your eyes and try to identify the size of your own ‘blowhole’. Then try closing it a bit, and opening it again. Just play with the idea and use your imagination. See how you feel when you are more open, and see if you feel differently when it’s more closed. Play with the concept and see what size works best for you, in this moment. Please note that some folks like a different concept for modulating their energy intake. Consider a screen/weave, or a color that is translucent (pink) to opaque (red). I have also had kids and adults choose ocean waves, firewalls (computer security concept), selectively permeable membranes (biology – cell membrane), force fields (Star Trek), and other ideas. Find what works for you.

During the last year, I have had clients (a couple adults, and even a 7 year old) who felt certain that it is their job to take others’ discomforts. They were not deterred by the teachings described above. So we took the following approach:

• If it is indeed your role to be the receptacle, must you KEEP their stuff for them? As these individuals acknowledged, from their own intuitive knowing, that they are to be the receptacle, but not maintain the input, they have used guided imagery to remove from their own system what has already accumulated. They instantly felt better.
• Can you create a way where you remain the receptacle, helping others to release, but then set a ‘drain’ within you for continual release from your own energy field? All of this is done with intention and imagination. See what resonates for you as you acknowledge your ‘receptacle’ and ‘drain’. The technique(s) that you develop today might change in the near or distant future.

Recently, I have been learning about energy frequencies and vibrations. It only partially reflects the procedures and explanations that I have previously taught about energy modulation. It is raw, and there is more for me to learn, but I’ll share it with you now:

When information is shared, received and interpreted, all at the level of frequency, there is less chance for misunderstanding (every stage of transmutation risks altering the message). Additionally, by drawing it into the denser levels of your three-dimensional self in order to “understand”, there is the risk of the body not being able to properly handle it. This can lead to physical or emotional challenges.

In metaphor, let’s compare frequency information/communication to the states of water. Think of frequencies as being the energetic equivalent of a gas. Thus frequencies can enter and leave your system with ease. When you attempt to understand the message of a frequency and draw it into the levels of words or emotions, you drop it to the level of a liquid. As a liquid, the message now has less ease to flow through the system. As it slows and is “seen” by the body, it might even drop its density to more of an ice/solid as the individual purposely or accidentally strives to understand it even more.

If we can remember that in order to understand, we do not need to dwell on that information, running it back and forth through the mind, and through our past, current and future experiences, then it can be understood in its purest state — that of energy/frequency/vibration (the metaphorical gas). This is why the exercise of ‘finding the space between the molecules’ works so nicely. We are taking these extremely dense/now-solid structures that have been formed in the body, and recognizing them as energy/vibrations/frequencies once again. In doing so, they change their state and bring the system to ease once again.

Since I work with a lot of individuals on the autism spectrum, I have considered the application of this concept with this population. Those who are looked at as having developmental delays may actually be exquisitely able to understand their world via frequencies. Their challenge has been to understand the denser neuro-typical styles of communication and language. Dr. Temple Grandin, who is autistic and known for her work with animals, famously describes her life in pictures (in the biographic novel and movie – Thinking in Pictures). She is extremely adept at accessing verbal communication (and the energetic experience of animals) by translating it into pictures. Although this is still dropping the original transmission of frequency and vibration to a denser state, doing so with pictures seems to be less dense than words/language.

I also work with a lot of clients who deal with anxiety, and wonder if a major difference between humans and animals is that when animals experience fear, it is pure and kept at the level of frequency/vibration. I frequently teach anxiety in terms of the prey animal that has a near miss with a predator. The prey narrowly gets away, and then it shakes itself (shaking off the trauma) and moves on with its day seeking food, etc. The rabbit doesn’t sit there thinking, Wow, that was close. I wonder if the fox will catch me next time. I hope that I can get away then. By bringing in thoughts to describe emotions humans anchor these emotions into a denser state.

Since empaths are attuned to the energetic frequencies and vibrational aspects of others, they absorb others’ emotions readily. Going full circle to the beginning of this article, learning to retain the frequencies in and outside of us in a “gaseous” state, will allow us to live in a greater state of ease.

As always I look forward to your thoughts and questions regarding this information so we can all learn and develop our gifts.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t until recently that I learned that if I sit in a ‘mindful’ state and think of people or locations that I know well, I can “feel” each individual or space differently. I’ve come to think of this as being able to identify their primary, or signature, frequency. I realized then (at least at this level of my understanding) that each living thing and environment has its own frequency.

The majority of us move unthinkingly through life, interacting with each other and all the other things around us without this recognition. Yet we are all affected by these interactions, whether imperceptibly or noticeably. If you are an energy-aware individual you probably realize this, though you might not have thought of it in these terms.

To explore this awareness try the following exercise:

Quiet your mind and think of an individual you know well. Imagine in your mind how it feels to be in their presence. Don’t overthink this exercise and don’t spend a long time thinking about the person. Whether or not you have this awareness yet, release your attention on this person, and think of a different person now. See if there might be a subtle difference in how the energies feel. Shift back to the first, and then to the second. If you‘d like you can switch your attention now to a third and then fourth individual, or even a pet.

You are not seeking how they feel emotionally, nor how your emotions feel in their presence, you are sensing the subtle vibration/frequency that you recognize as you bring your awareness to each. As you switch your attention from one being to the other, you might notice the subtle shifts that occur in your awareness, even if you can’t yet identify what it feels like. Sensing that there is a difference may be all that you get.

Now try this same exercise, but with locations that you have visited – specific cities, favorite landmarks, types of geographic areas.

Play with the exercise. You are potentially developing awareness. Please don’t judge yourself if you can’t do it. Maybe you are still developing your intuitive muscles, or maybe my instructions didn’t match your learning style.

Hopefully this exercise has made you more aware of the subtleties that people sense around them, whether you understand it at the thought level or experience it at the energy level.

As I work with the continuum of neuro-sensitive individuals who come to see me, I am learning that their ability to sense these subtleties also spans the continuum, and that some individuals are able to sense subtleties of frequencies that I do not (or that I have not yet recognized). As examples: I have had clients become physically and emotionally distracted when my space heater cycled on or off. Others have described having difficulty passing by the various store entrances while walking through malls. Whether it’s different lighting, music, temperature or something that is not tangible to our senses, their system is challenged to effectively make the adaptation from one source to the next. A very young client of mine reads the heart-space of each of the people with whom he comes in contact, and struggles with the fact that not enough are openhearted.

What they are teaching me is that their ability to easily adapt and transition from one frequency or field to the next is not easy. Unfortunately, society (parents, educators, etc) evaluate neuro-sensitives’ experiences from a neuro-typical perspective, and assume that what is happening is wrong and must be fixed.

I am therefore sharing this knowledge with you so that we can all learn how unique their neurology is, and to realize that it is not a fault that requires fixing. First, accept who they are and acknowledge their gifts. Next, collaborate with them to determine how they can best move through the various energy fields with grace and ease.

It is not uncommon for neuro-sensitives to be described as ADHD. When there is an abundance of energies and vibrations within the body, and the individual cannot readily access an organizational pattern for it all, the body may want to distract from the experience (inattentiveness) or physically try to shake out the crinkles to bring the vibrations into alignment (hyperactivity).

Encourage these individuals to move the energy throughout their body via: traditional exercise, tapping (EFT/emotional freedom technique), dance, yoga, tai chi, etc. These are excellent ways to move and organize the vibrations. Teach them to use the strategies above on a daily basis when they are not in school or at work, and to try more subtle versions (tapping, isometric exercise, brief movement opportunities like getting a drink, sharpening a pencil, etc) so that the vibrations don’t build up to an uncomfortable level.

As a result of the difficulties, neuro-sensitives often experience anxiety. Feeling different vibrations, without a more complete context of understanding, can feel and look like anxiety.

If you think this might explain some of your anxiety, recognize that the changing vibrations that are felt within are different energies or frequencies from outside you. Don’t try to modulate them to your previous state; homeostasis is not the goal here. Allow for the recognition of the changing vibrations even if you don’t know where they come from, or why they are there. Let them all flow through without attachment. Accept their presence with equanimity (a form of acceptance of what is). Let them pass through. Don’t pinch the energies and keep them immobile via too many whyquestions or by focusing on the perceived discomfort. Just allow. It is my belief, and my early experience on this issue, that the perceived discomfort / anxiety will pass much more rapidly.

I believe we all know neuro-sensitives. I encourage you to resist judging and labeling these neuro-diverse individuals through the neuro-typical lens. If you have anecdotal stories or questions related to the neuro-sensitives in your life, I hope that you will share.

If the content of this article intrigues you, consider attending a workshop that two colleagues and I have collaboratively created. Transcending Autism and Sensory Issues: Using Intuition and Energy to Address Neuro-Sensitives will be live this November (2018) in Ann Arbor, MI. Further information will be available on my website soon!

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t long after the Parkland, Florida high school shooting that I heard about the March For Our Lives movement and the plan to hold a march in Washington DC on March 24, 2018. I immediately put it in my calendar to keep it on my radar. While I thought it sounded amazing, I had no plan, expectation or even a desire to attend. My husband knew immediately that he needed to be in DC, though he could have attended one of several local marches. “But not me,” I told everyone.

You see, I am an extroverted introvert. Or is it an introverted extrovert?

I enjoy talking with and meeting new people. To others, I appear as an outgoing individual.

Sounds like the classic extrovert, right? But I’m actually an introvert. People think being an introvert means keeping to oneself and speaking sparingly to others. But being an introvert actually describes how one replenishes their energy. Like other introverts I boost my energies best when I am by myself, and often in a space with minimal sensory input.

In addition to being an introvert, I am also an empath. This means I sometimes knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly, pick up the energies and emotions of others. Being an empath can feel exhausting and overwhelming for some, and it has felt that way for me for most of my life. For all these reasons I thought that being at a national march was a ridiculous idea for me. Why would I knowingly and willingly place myself in the middle of a huge group of people who are feeling sadness, anger, frustration and other strong emotions? Why would I willingly be in a group, most likely standing in close proximity to many others, with no opportunity to move to a location by myself?

Shortly after hearing about the march, I began to hear the passion in the students’ voices and in their messages. I listened to my student-clients and heard their passion and frustrations as well. Soon, the calling to be at the march in support of our youth was greater than the assumed discomfort of me being there. I recognized the call, and this knowledge helped give me strength. Thus the trip was planned.

Even on the plane the day prior to the march, the shifts of collective energy were apparent. There was a reporter and her cameraman seated near us. Next to the reporter was coincidentally (or synchronistically) a 17-year-old teen whose family’s connecting flight took them through Detroit. This teen was one of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school students who was scheduled to speak. When it was time for everyone to leave the plane, there was no rushing or pushing. In fact, we who sat in the back of the plane, just relaxed in our seats until the rows in front had sufficiently cleared. The flight attendant said that in her 18 years of service she has never seen such a calm, polite, respectful group of passengers. We think it’s because so many on that flight were arriving in DC to represent the larger value of social responsibility and social consciousness.

We arrived at the march 90 minutes before the event was due to begin. The number of people already there was, to no one’s surprise, huge. All of us began slowly making our way in the direction of the stage. Although there were smiles everywhere I briefly worried, “What was I thinking? This will be hard enough during the march itself when everyone is here and there are wall-to-wall people. There is still so much time for me to overwhelm before it even begins.” If you are also an empath/introvert/Sensitive you may relate to those thoughts. However, I quickly put into practice for myself the suggestions that I offer to others: I returned to the present moment and stayed out of story, thereby keeping my thoughts to what was happening right then. Not surprisingly, I did not spin into worry. Instead I enjoyed what I love best.

I love people watching and many of the signs that the participants carried were creatively composed. It was great to see teens, families and little children, alongside the baby-boomers like myself. We were all together, all sharing a common purpose. I found that walking with, and standing near like-minded individuals was exhilarating. The energy at the event was palpable. And this was before anyone even came to the podium.

The speakers – our youth – articulately and passionately shared their deepest desires along with their greatest fears. They encouraged us and rallied us with their strength and through their tears. And we responded in kind with cheers, tears, and a cascade of emotions that included hope, frustration and strength. We were (reportedly) 800,000 yet we were one: one voice, one passion, one message that insisted that we find a way for our youth (everyone actually) to feel safe in schools and in their lives.

If you are wondering how this Introvert (Sensitive/Empath) was so successful, I admit that it has been a fascinating journey. It has included a fearless look at my worries and my fears, learning what tools work best for me to help me to process my emotions and the emotions of others, energy modulation so my empathic skills work in moderation, keeping my heart open, and practicing grounding exercises.

Or maybe it was the simple truth expressed in a sign that I saw right after I had found my own personal peace. I wish I had thought of this and carried it myself:

SO BAD EVEN INTROVERTS ARE HERE

May you each find the peace that you wish, to go where you need, so that you may continue to make a difference in the world.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs has always fascinated me. The premise is that you must have your Physiological needs (food, water, breath, sleep), and your safety needs (employment, health, prosperity) met before you have the ability to adequately experience Love/belonging (friendship, family). Once these three aspects of the hierarchy have been attained you can reach Esteem (confidence, achievement, respect of and by others, self-esteem), and ultimately Self-actualization (morality, creativity, spontaneity, life’s meaning). Maslow believes everyone seeks self-actualization though it may not always be achieved.

Educators recognize that basic needs must be met for effective education to take place, and that the brain’s mechanism for protection (the amygdala) decreases learning in a hungry, worried or frightened child. To approach this problem systemically many districts are now creating trauma-informed schools, which provide a layered approach for safety and healing. (TraumaAwareSchools.org) These trauma-informed schools are appropriate for all socio-economic areas and also support neuro-sensitives who deal with the continuous “little t” traumas of sensory overload.

Chakras

The seven major chakras:

1^st – the Root chakra is at the base of your torso. It is your connection to your tribe and relates to security, abandonment by the group, and physical survival.

2^nd – the Sacral or abdominal chakra relates to your relationships with family and others, and financial security.

3^rd – the Solar plexus chakra is just above the navel. This chakra deals with your relationship with yourself: personal power, honoring the self, etc.

4^th – the Heart chakra is in the center of your chest. It is your connection to love – for self and others.

5^th – the Throat chakra is in the front of your neck and deals with your ability to speak your truth. It also relates to will. (Do you yield your power too willingly to others? Do you adequately support your own needs? Do you exert your power too strongly?)

6^th – the Third Eye chakra is located between and just above your eyes in the center of your forehead. This chakra is identified as your connection to intuition and introspection.

7^th – the Crown chakra is located at the top of your head and connects you to that which you call the Divine.

If you are interested in learning more about chakras, there are numerous books and websites.

Chakras and Maslow’s Hierarchy

As a student of metaphysics I began to see how understanding chakras could better explain neuro-sensitives, and that when the chakras are lined up to correspond with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs we see that:

Self-Actualization = Heart chakra (4^th) thru Crown chakra (7^th)

Esteem = Solar Plexus (3^rd)

Belonging = Sacral (2^nd)

Physiological & Safety = Root (1^st)

From a chakra perspective neuro-typicals begin more grounded in their bodies. They seem to more easily inhabit their 1^st through 3^rd chakras and then develop upwards through the chakras developing their compassion for others and their intuition. As preschoolers they are often seen moving about their environment with ease. They live in their bodies. As teens or adults they seek to experience being out-of-body, often through meditation, as they long for the Oneness that they can feel while in that state.

Neuro-sensitives seem to live primarily from the upper chakras. Their relationship with others is empathic (4^th) and often telepathic (6^th). They are more able to experience and live in Oneness (7^th). They are less likely to see the separateness that many neuro-typicals see in the ‘other’. As a result neuro-sensitives rarely sit in judgment of another. In fact, this honesty (5^th) often gets them in trouble with others. They see a trait, and they speak it, without judgment. (“Mommy, that man is fat”, is not a judgment. It is a statement of observation.) This creates difficulties in effectively connecting with others (2^nd). They also have a more complex association with their body (1^st) since it often has soft muscle tone, depth-perception challenges, and a clear recognition of others’ energy patterns and emotions without realizing that they are not their own.

A succinct chakra description of a neuro-sensitive’s experience is that they have dense, uncomfortable lower chakras because:

• The Root is not grounded.
• The Sacral doesn’t distinguish self from others; they absorb others’ energies; they are often a mirror of others; they attempt to regulate others’ emotions; and have poor energy boundaries.
• The Solar Plexus can’t digest life issues (gut), and may have a weak sense of personal identity.
• This results in an amazing sense of love (Heart), and connectedness to all of humanity (Heart, Third Eye and Crown), but less connection to the physical body and a decreased access to being grounded.

For me it begs the metaphysical question: Are there a larger number of neuro-sensitives who tend toward oneness, compassion, empathy, and energy awareness, to off-set the vast numbers of individuals who still see the world in terms of separateness (me vs. other)? And is it any wonder that neuro-sensitives struggle to adapt to our educational, communication and employment systems?

You can help them to have an easier time:

• Understand and accept them
• Help them better integrate with their physical body (i.e. Sensory motor integration)
• Though there are meltdowns, anger, frustration, anxiety and discomfort, the body is not the enemy
• Minimize sensory input and overload
• Teach them how they are separate from others
• Allow processing and response time
• Appropriate nutrition (they may not digest and metabolize everything)
• Teach grounding, relaxation and energy modulation
• Learning strategies
• Social skills
• Explicit instruction

Focus on neuro-sensitives’ inherent gifts instead of on their challenges. Find ways to minimize their difficulties to ease their experiences. Reframe their world so that they too can experience the incredible gifts that they bring.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Last month’s article, Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload, focused on how parents and professionals can reduce the sensory burden that neuro-sensitive children and adults experience every day of every week during various activities in their lives: medical, social, entertainment, school, shopping, etc.

As a continuation of that information, this month’s article will focus on the resulting behaviors that occur when the Sensitive, or their parent/professional, cannot adequately reduce the overwhelming level of sensory input. Certainly different individuals have different tolerances, but sensitives and empaths who understand this phenomenon, and can communicate it, have all described their meltdowns, or of recognizing its approach.

For non-Sensitives, even those who conceptually understand empathy, it may be hard to understand that someone can experience this extent of sensory sensitivity. As a result, since many parents and professionals can’t see it coming, they don’t know how to recognize these sensory meltdowns. In fact, frequently it is assumed that the individual is having a temper tantrum. However, tantrums and meltdowns are triggered by different things and require different responses.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TANTRUMS AND MELTDOWNS

STEP ONE: UNDERSTAND SENSORY OVERLOAD

Sensitive children are hyper-aware of their surroundings. To better understand their experience, think about the input that they receive from all five senses, and realize that they have minimal ability to decrease or minimize it. Additionally, they are often intuitive, and as empaths they are highly aware of others’ emotions to the point that they feel these emotions in their own bodies.

Unfortunately most empaths don’t realize this is occurring. They either assume they are feeling an intensification of their own emotions, or they just react. Empaths who understand what’s occurring describe their experiences as more than empathy. (Empathy is described as, “I can imagine how it must be for you.”)

Here are some statements that empaths have told me to describe being an empath:

• I’m in a room with others and I feel their feelings.
• My anxiety (or worry, sadness, anger) becomes so intense that I need to leave the room.
• When I look in their eyes I feel like I see their soul.
• I’m exhausted whenever I am with others, especially in groups.
• When I look in their eyes, I know everything there is to know about them, and I feel it in my own body.
• I feel like it’s my job to take away their problems or ‘hurts’.
• Being an empath helps me do my work because I know things that my client, student or patient has not verbalized.
• Being an empath helps me because my child cannot verbalize what s/he needs, but I somehow know, and now I can explain it to others.

STEP TWO: MELTDOWN – THE PHYSICAL EFFECT

When sensitives or empaths don’t understand what is happening, and haven’t yet learned sufficient skills for modulating their experiences it is quite overwhelming. Remember that their sensory bombardment is continual and for the most part unrelenting.

Meltdowns are a sensory response occurring at a physiologic (physical body) level and occur when the body is overwhelmed by multiple stimuli and cannot cope with one more entry.

STEP THREE: WHY IT LOOKS LIKE A TANTRUM

What makes it especially confusing is when there are verbal overlays that sound like what our society has taught us are tantrums. For instance, the Sensitive child who is screaming for one more candy, or 5 minutes more time, is doing so because that issue became the one experience that they can identify or recognize (as opposed to a myriad of unrecognized sensory experiences), and they are hoping to control this one thing because they know subconsciously that they just can’t handle one … more … thing.

This is such an important part of understanding meltdowns, because meltdowns are NOT tantrums. Tantrums are willful and potentially tactical.

To recognize meltdowns, and not assume tantrum, it is important to learn about your individual’s sensory experiences. Think about how they usually respond in various environments: sounds, lights, activity, smells, tolerance of clothing and other tactile experiences, and even human touch. And remember that to the amygdala, that part of the brain that evaluates every type of sensory input to keep us safe, one’s emotions – our own and those of others – are also evaluated to assess potential threats.

STEP FOUR: WHAT TO DO WITH A MELTDOWN

The best advice is prevention. As you become more adept at being the detective of your individual’s sensory experiences, you will become better able to reduce their overload experience and thus the subsequent meltdowns. When that is not sufficient or possible, realize that the meltdown is the body releasing energy and tension and has to run its course. Provide a safe and supportive environment for your individual.

For generations our society has taught that children should listen and follow directions and that any counter-response should be met with consequences or discipline. Looking at things differently allows us to realize that meltdowns are a Sensitive’s unconscious and unplanned way of responding to a physiologic need to reduce their physical tension.

STEP FIVE: THE AFTERMATH

Apologies are heartfelt and real. Since this is a physiologic response, there’s no need for punishment. Be careful if you try processing what has occurred. Many Sensitives are unable to recognize the buildup in their systems and can re-trigger easily and quickly.

Professionals, families and neuro-sensitives are striving to find ways to reduce sensory receptiveness and increase sensory tolerance. Diets, education, cognitive behavioral therapy, energy work, craniosacral therapy, prismatic lenses and noise-reducing headphones are just a few of the things that are being tried. I hope to bring more information about options and successes in the future.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

#Resist: Fear and Denying Your Self

As I talk to clients and others I realize how many children and adults, but especially females, have trouble saying no. While being compassionate and kind are important, respecting yourself is at least as essential. You must know where your boundaries are, where they need to be and how to honor yourself by communicating these boundaries to others.

You have a right and a responsibility to care for yourself, which is why flight attendants instruct you to put on your own mask before assisting your children or those around you. Yet too frequently, you have assisted or done for others until you felt used and exhausted. If you did finally say no or asked for assistance, it’s probable that you also felt guilty doing so. This takes a toll on your physical and emotional health.

Most children are not explicitly taught how to assert their needs in a respectful and self-assured manner. Girls, especially, have been taught to be “nice” and to not make waves so it is problematic for most women to learn how to express their own needs in a healthy manner. Males are not immune from this difficulty.

In the absence of instruction or modeling, people stifle their voice and find themselves exhausted and resentful until their frustration builds to a deafening roar, and they angrily express themselves.

VERBAL

Breathe into your diaphragm. Soften your throat. Speak your needs respectfully and assertively, without aggression. Speak concisely, calmly and with strength.

THOUGHTS

Resist FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear tactics are used to repeatedly alarm you and make you think that you are endangered even when you are not. In the world of Fight, Flight or Freeze, your cognitive (thinking) processes are minimized, making it more difficult for you to discern your truth and maintain your personal goals of confidence, unity, peace and wellness. In fact, you will find yourself repeating the fear-based thoughts even in the absence of the original stressor, potentially disarming you.

Practice mindfulness. Challenge your fear-based thoughts (whether they come from within, or were inserted by others). Use your breath to break the fight/flight/freeze biophysical process, and reboot your body, your emotions and your thoughts back to wellness. Minimize overwhelm by identifying one thing to put your efforts toward – donate, volunteer, etc. Remember who you really are to keep your focus on peaceful coexistence and unity.

PHYSICAL

I loved the scene in Dirty Dancing: This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don’t go into yours; you don’t go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.

Some people need a larger physical space than others. It’s important to know what yours is. If needed, start by identifying the boundary of your body. You can outline yourself in the sand or on large paper. Then begin to identify where your comfort boundary is. It may vary with the different people in your life: children, romantic partner, friend, co-worker, boss, etc.

Now that you know where your body is and where your boundary needs to be, use your physical frame to confidently express your needs: Elongate your posture in a relaxed manner, breathe gently but fully, and keep your eyes forward.

ENERGETIC

Ground yourself for strength: Stand or sit with your feet firmly on the ground. Allow that earthy power to rise up through your feet spreading confidence throughout.

Depending on your personal needs, identify how much personal space you require and place an imaginary barrier at this location. Some people visualize a bubble, a white or pink light, a force field or a firewall. Use the image that works for you. Place an intention (expectation) that no negative words or moods will permeate this selected barrier. See it as a permeable membrane. You select what gets through – towards you and from you. This way you can still send love and compassion outwardly, while guarding yourself from negative words and feelings. This technique is especially helpful for those who feel others’ emotions intensely (empaths).

As you encounter the challenging aspects of life you may leave parts of yourself behind. This can also impact your sense of self and your confidence. Spiritual teacher Caroline Myss calls the process of pulling these pieces back, soul retrieval. One strategy is to imagine these pieces floating like star lights. You need not recognize the situations that they represent; with intention invite them back to join you once again. Then breathe in the fullness that is you.

RELATIONSHIP

Caring for another should not mean that you stop caring for yourself. Are you wary of hurting another’s feelings or worry that you will disappoint your partner, friend or co-worker? Remember that sometimes the loving response is “No”.

You have likely identified a large circle of people that you care about and for, but repeatedly fail to put yourself in that circle. It’s time that you include yourself in this group of important people! You have every right to be there. Don’t feel guilty for giving yourself the same care that you offer to others without hesitation.

As you incorporate these components of boundary development, your self-confidence will increase and your ability to speak your truth will be enhanced. Take care of your being, your thoughts and your emotions and be the role model for self-care to your friends, family members and children.

Though these techniques are for everyone, if you are in an abusive or dangerous situation please seek professional assistance.

Our intuition is always there, always reading the situation, always trying to steer us the right way. ~ Arianna Huffington

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I’ve known about my sixth-sense for some time. I first heard the term six-sensory from author and spiritual teacher, Sonia Choquette. Being a six-sensory means that you process your world with more than the conventional five senses (visual, auditory, touch, taste, smell).

Your sixth sense is your gut instinct. It’s natural, normal and everyone has it. The parental version of sixth sense awareness happens when children first venture away from parents: When you get there, if something doesn’t feel right I want you to call me or leave right away. Others talk about business relationships and opportunities: I just knew from the start that this was not a good person/idea, but I didn’t listen to my gut and I got burned. Think about the varied ways that your sixth sense has been involved in your life.

Now that we have established that you have a sixth sense, the question is: Do you listen to yours or have you ignored your inner voice?

Choquette believes that “your sixth sense should be your first sense”. Author Sophy Burnham (The Art of Intuition) says it’s the subtle knowing without ever having any idea why you know it. If you are ready to embrace your six-sensory self, there are ways to develop, and learn to hear, your inner voice / gut instinct / intuition: 

RECOGNITION – It is already communicating with you, but your mind’s chatter hides it. Busy minds and activities make intuition difficult to receive.

SOLITUDE AND CREATIVITY allow you the opportunity to reconnect with yourself, so strive to regularly build them into your schedule.

MINDFULNESS – Silent meditation is the most common, but you can be mindful during chores, exercise or any other activity. Focus your mind on each aspect or movement of the activity to quiet the chatter.

BREATHWORK – In your mind’s eye watch the movement of your chest and abdomen as it moves away from your spine on the inhale and then back inward on the exhale. This also helps to focus the mind and still your thoughts.

RECEPTION – You may ‘hear’ the message, see symbols or visual pictures, feel sensations or emotions in your body, or have a vague yet clear ‘knowing’. It may seem like a subtle whisper or a powerful download.

WRITE/DRAW – Relax your mind, close your eyes if you wish and write or type whatever comes to mind. You can similarly draw in a free association manner.

DREAMS – Dreams and intuition both come from the unconscious. If you remember your dreams, they can become a source of information. Begin each night with a request for information about a specific question. When you awaken, write in your journal everything that you can recall about that dream as well as your questions and recent life events. Review your journal regularly looking for symbols and patterns.

DISTINGUISH the difference between mind chatter and your inner voice. As you practice you will likely notice that your inner voice speaks clearly, concisely, gently and without judgment. These are not the typical descriptions of your inner chatter.

MAKING A DECISION? Imagine a path or a doorway for each of the choices that you face. As you approach each: feel for density, heaviness, thickness; observe the visual cues of light, dark, color, sparkles; look for excitement, dread, fear, approachability, resistance, expansion.

PRACTICE will allow you to trust your inner voice/instinct/intuition. Begin with small questions that don’t feel life altering, such as, which route should I travel to my destination today?

EMPATHY – Your empathic abilities are a gift. You don’t require the fullest amount of input to have the knowledge. Instead, modulate the amount of information that comes in to you. Use intention as well as the techniques described in Energy Cleansing.

TRUST your intuition and allow it to become a more significant part of your daily life!

Living life as a six-sensory is beneficial because all of your senses are more attuned to give you the fullest information. This allows you to see the many options that are available, to know when to proceed and when to withdraw, in relationships and professionally, and to ultimately recognize and live your life’s purpose.

When you are connected to your inner wisdom you can experience a deep, strong connection to your true Self. This provides a calm and confident power, fewer emotional triggers and less anxiety or depression. Living a six-sensory life is a profoundly empowering experience.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

As a spiritual being having a human experience, it’s important to care for all aspects of your being.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

You are more than a physical structure. There is energy in and around your body. Clinicians who study acupuncture follow the energy along meridians to look for blockages or sluggish movement. Correcting these can improve health, pain and mood. Also within the physical body are chakras – energy centers. Each chakra corresponds to specific physical structures of the body as well as to emotional and psychological processes; and is also linked to a symbol, name, musical tone and color. There are seven major chakras: the root chakra at the base of your torso, abdominal, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye at the center of the forehead, and the crown chakra at the top of your head.

Those who are hyperaware of the traditional five senses as well as the sixth sense of intuition, empathy and energy are considered Highly Sensitive People. If you are a Sensitive, other peoples’ energy fields as well as the electro-magnetic fields of your environment likely affect you. When all of this inundates your energy fields, it can lead to emotional distress, physical tension and even illness. There are a number of practices that you can use to clear or balance your energy:

FOR THE SELF

DURING A SHOWER use the water to wash away all uncomfortable emotions and tensions from the day. Have it all flow down the drain.

IN A RELAXED STATE, IMAGINE A SPONGE passing from head to toe on all sides of your body. As the sponge moves down, it removes the excess tension, emotions, energy, and any challenges that had accumulated throughout your day.

PLACE A BUBBLE of pink or white light around your body to keep “other” separate from “self”. You may visualize any color, a balloon, ball or even a force field around yourself.

CHAKRA BALANCE: In meditation, bring your attention to each chakra beginning at the root. Use your own intuition to balance the hue, density and size. Strive to bring balance to each. (You can find CDs or individuals to facilitate this process.)

HUM THE MUSICAL SCALES to balance the chakras via vibration. It isn’t necessary to know which note corresponds to each chakra. Deeply hum the scales and feel the vibrations within your body.

RELEASE OLD TRAPPED EMOTIONS that congest the energy. You don’t need to remember, you just need to release. This can be done through exercise, movement to music, massages and bodywork.

SEA SALT baths: a 10-minute soak helps to remove any released energies or toxins.

DRINK WATER to help the body move energy and toxins.

ENERGY MODULATION: If you are an intuitive or empath, you can feel others’ energies and emotions within yourself. It is important to learn how to regulate the input. First try to identify where you sense this energy entering. Most clients tell me that it enters at the abdominal or heart level. Find an image that allows you to have a “selectively permeable membrane” at that location. Consider visualizing the blowhole of a whale or dolphin, the weave of a fabric, screen or grid, or the adjustment of a color’s hue. I have had a computer expert describe it as a firewall. Others see it as a swirl that needs to slow or quicken. What’s important is that you select a method that resonates with you and practice shrinking and enlarging your portal while in a relaxed state. Then, set your intention when entering a challenging environment or when feeling overwhelmed, to shrink the size of your portal.

FOR THE HOME OR SCHOOL

You can additionally assist yourself and others by decreasing the amount of excess energy in your surroundings. The individual is then better able to neutralize his or her own vibratory fields.

SMUDGING is used to move the accumulated energy in one’s environment. Dried sage, cedar or sweetgrass is lit, extinguished, and the smoke is moved through the rooms, especially in corners. Please be cautious with the fire and note if anyone is sensitive to fragrances.

TUNING FORKS work in the same manner as smudging, but the tone that is emitted moves the energy.

COLLECTING AND REMOVING EMOTIONAL ENERGY: Ground yourself, use your intention, and invite the excess energies of the room or home to a location that is not immediately near you. Depending on what resonates with you, direct these energies to depart through the ceiling, a window, or to the ground. This is especially helpful when someone is triggered by anger, fear or agitation of others in the space.

Your energy fields are affected by many factors. I encourage a regular practice of cleansing to influence the ease vs. dis-ease of your life.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Are you, or is your loved one, a Six-Sensory?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Sensitives come in all ages, sizes, races and faiths. They can look like everyone else, and yet stand out by being empathic, compassionate, creative people. Sometimes they are at peace with these gifts, but for others it creates inner turmoil and can lead to minor or significant difficulties.

To additionally complicate the situation, some Sensitives have anxieties and/or ADHD and may even be on the Autism Spectrum. They often love nature and animals. They tend to seem older than their years, or may be characterized as ‘old souls’. They are often right-brain thinkers who are creative and artistic. They are deep thinkers and tend to be bright. In school or the workplace, they may be unsuccessful or seem unmotivated because of the mismatch between their learning style and the system.

Sensitives may be argumentative and headstrong. They are frustrated with our society because they came into the world knowing how things should be in our institutions, systems and relationships. Yet as children they don’t have the power to create this change. Their ability to comprehend their world may be great, but their ability to cope with this awareness is compromised because they have neither the life experience nor the emotional maturation to handle what they know.

Sensitives may feel misplaced and alone. They frequently verbalize their dislike for (or discomfort with) their school, peers, and/or community. Their belief is that few individuals truly understand them and think as they do. Their feelings of personal isolation and different-ness can lead to anxiety and depression, then be exacerbated by the “negative emotions” they absorb while in the presence of others.

Sensitives are often referred to as Six-Sensory Beings because of their heightened awareness of the six senses, sometimes in varying amounts:

• Touch: The individual complains about irritating fabric, embroidery, tags or the sensation of water on the skin. Some are uncomfortable being touched by others.
• Hearing: This individual hears everything (other than directions to clean their room or put out the garbage). Certain tones can be distracting or even distressing. I had a student who was bothered by the classroom TV’s high-pitched sound. In a noisy classroom or environment the individual can have difficulty distinguishing a specific voice in the midst of others, or might feel the need to tune everything out. 
• Taste: Flavors or textures can limit the types of foods eaten.
• Smell: Sensitivity to chemicals or fragrances.
• Seeing: These individuals will take in their entire visual surroundings and notice all the details.
• Sixth sense: Intuition and the awareness of others’ energies and emotions. Sensitives don’t necessarily realize that they are sensing the emotions of others. In fact, their anxiety, anger or sadness might be coming from people in their surroundings.

Understanding the Sensitives in your life allows you to avoid focusing on what seemed to be undesirable traits and provides the opportunity for empathy and acceptance for yourself and others. Here are ways to support these individuals:

• Teach them that being different is not bad.
• Allow them to verbalize their experiences.
• Keep your own energy and emotions calm when communicating, especially when offering criticism or suggestions.
• Focus on their gifts: compassion, empathy, creativity, intelligence, rather than any challenging behaviors.
• Help them realize that they may be affected by the moods of family, peers or even people that they don’t know who are nearby.
• Provide structure and familiar routines.
• Encourage breath-work and relaxation.
• Teach grounding techniques for anxiety, agitation or hyperactivity: Sit or stand with your feet on the ground. Imagine the trunk (torso) of your body is the trunk of the tree. Feel the strength of the tree move down through your legs and feet (the roots), anchoring you into earth.
• Use your own energetic skills to clear the negative energies from physical spaces (more about this in a future article).
• Find a mentor or counselor who understands Sensitives’ six-sensory experiences and who can teach them how to set verbal, physical and energetic boundaries and to recognize their inherent gifts.
• Continue to educate yourself about Highly Sensitive People, Indigo Children and Crystal Children.

I believe Sensitives will help us to create a peaceful world that promotes and maintains ecological and social responsibility. We who are Sensitives and we who understand Sensitives have an extraordinary opportunity to parent and mentor these Six-Sensories to achieve their destiny. I hold the Sensitives in my life (and yours) in love and light. May we all know and attain our highest purpose. 

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.