By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I hope that one of the reasons that you follow my work is to continue to understand various ‘differences’ from a more expansive view. This article is about autism. It’s when we understand the “why” of something that we can truly learn to accept it for what it is. Autism is not a condition to cure, but rather it is a series of conditions that causes or allows the individual to interact with their inner and outer environment differently. Sometimes this brings about challenges, but that’s most frequently due to our rigid societal expectations and assumptions. Let’s all learn to recognize the aspects, and see the gifts that are part of this spectrum, so that we no longer view it as a “disorder”.

Q:  What is autism?
A:  Autism isn’t one condition. It’s a collection of related conditions that are so intertwined and so impossible to pick apart, that professionals have stopped trying. If you only check one or two boxes, then they don’t call it autism, they call it something else. Here’s a graphic of the various aspects. Remember that autism is a spectrum condition. Some individuals with autism (sometimes referred to as autistics) have less of one of these issues, or it may no longer be apparent. According to the DSM-5, autism is a life-long condition that can ease in intensity and life-challenging ways, but it doesn’t go away. And remember: If you’ve met one person with autism, then you’ve met ONE person with autism.

Q:  Is the person ‘an individual with autism’ or ‘autistic’?
A:  That’s actually a good question and you will get differing responses. Initially we referred to these folks as autistics. Then perspectives about disabilities changed and it was considered most appropriate to see them as individuals who are not defined by autism, but rather who have autism (recognizing that they have many other facets to define them). I work with a lot of folks on the spectrum, from many age groups, and am frequently told that they recognize how autism informs their daily lives, and thus very positively and proudly define themselves as autistic (along with their other descriptors of spouse, parent, employee, artist, writer, etc.)

Q:  I hear that it is harder to identify girls and women on the spectrum.
A:  It does seem to be more difficult since females present differently than males.

All the literature, clients that I talk to, and my experiences with my own clients acknowledge that recognizing and diagnosing autism in those who are born female can be more challenging. Some believe it’s because many girls seem to intrinsically find it easier to mimic peers as well as others’ socialization. Additionally, they are less likely to have the same types of areas of interests as their male counterparts, so their identity on the spectrum is less recognized.

My intention in this section is to provide you with a variety of links that can better inform you. I hope you find this information beneficial. I encourage you to reach out with questions, and to let me know about any professionals that you have met who are adept at diagnosing ASD in the AFAB (assigned female at birth) population.

From the article, Why Do Many Autistic Girls Go Undiagnosed? by the Child Mind Institute: “Autism is a developmental disorder that is marked by two unusual kinds of behaviors: deficits in communication and social skills, and restricted or repetitive behaviors. Children with autism also often have sensory processing issues. But here’s the hitch, according to Susan F. Epstein, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist. ‘The model that we have for a classic autism diagnosis has really turned out to be a male model. That’s not to say that girls don’t ever fit it, but girls tend to have a quieter presentation, with not necessarily as much of the repetitive and restricted behavior, or it shows up in a different way.’ Stereotypes may get in the way of recognition. ‘So where the boys are looking at train schedules, girls might have excessive interest in horses or unicorns, which is not unexpected for girls,’ Dr. Epstein notes. ‘But the level of the interest might be missed and the level of oddity can be a little more damped down. It’s not quite as obvious to an untrained eye.’ She adds that as the spectrum has grown, it’s gotten harder to diagnose less-affected boys as well.”

In the article: Autism is Still Under-Diagnosed in Girls and Women, they propose four ways testing should change: “From an autistic woman’s perspective, the diagnostic assessments need rethinking:

• they should consider autistic strengths and not focus solely on deficits and impairments. Sometimes autism isn’t considered because of the presence of strengths
• they should incorporate the common lived experiences of autistic women. These have now been well-documented by autistic women, many with successful careers and yet areas of difficulty
• the differences between the presentation of autism in females and males should be reflected in the diagnostic criteria
• autistic people should be included in the design and content of diagnostic tests.”

Why Camouflage Autism? specifically talks about a female’s potential for camouflaging their autism.

Developing a Positive Sense of Identity by Dr. Michelle Garnett explains more about spectrum women developing a positive identity and includes many insights to recognizing ASD in females. It also discusses the benefits of identifying it earlier, as well as the uniqueness of having ASD as a woman.

Autistic Women in the Workplace provides guidance to identify one’s career, and to recognize greater understanding of the special challenges as well as the special gifts that autistic women (or women with autism) can provide. Gifts can include leadership skills, teamwork, communication skills, and work ethic. Some of these items might surprise you; I encourage you to read the article. The author also discusses guidance for receiving accommodations in the workplace.

And learn how to address social challenges at work as an autistic adult.

The Boston Globe article entitled What Happens to Autistic Children Once They Become Adults offers a bit more generalized approach to ASD and careers. This article highlights some amazing work programs that have been developed in Florida and Massachusetts.

There are many resources for folks with ASD who are in relationships. I happen to love this article since it approaches healthy relationship-building from both the ASD and neurotypical perspective. How to Be the Best Partner to an Autistic or Neurotypical Person is both enlightening and refreshing. 10 Things You Need to Know About Your Autistic Partner is also enlightening.

Anytime we talk about autism I think it is imperative to have an opportunity to better understand meltdowns. This article about meltdowns, written by one with autism, offers an outstanding opportunity to understand the process and the experience. By the way, this is not a quiz asking you to select the correct choice for each item. Rather, each issue provides a variety of ways to understand what is really happening. Please read each item (A through E) that completes each phrase so that you can better understand your family member who experiences meltdowns.

And here’s a related article about autistic burnout. The authors explain that it is different than depression (though depression might be incorporated in the symptoms) because there is increased sensory sensitivity and the need to isolate in order to recover.

Q:  Why does my student with autism make a prolonged noise when I begin to speak, but stops when I stop talking?
A:  Sometimes individuals are highly triggered by sounds, yet by covering it with something they can control (tapping, shrieking, etc.) it is easier for them to deal with the original sound.

Q:  I have been told that my student’s behaviors are stims. What does that mean? I feel that they are distracting and disruptive for my student and I want to know how to make them stop.
A:  Stims or stimming is shorthand for self-stimulating behaviors.  These are actually quite helpful for your student as they help them to soothe their (overly) reactive nervous system in the moment. I was at a conference once where the presenter suggested that we try to mimic these behaviors on our own to see how it feels. Most neuro-typicals do indeed find them soothing. Regardless, it is soothing for your student. I was also cautioned by this presenter to be careful when trying to stop a stim, as it will be replaced by something else, which might not be as socially or classroom acceptable. Here’s a graphic that explains more about stimming.

Q:  How do you teach appropriate eye contact?
A:  First of all, let’s understand the possible reasons why those with ASD or other individuals avoid eye contact:

• Some cultures discourage looking into another’s eyes.
• If the individual has misaligned eyes (eyes that don’t work together adequately), uncomfortable distortions can occur prompting them to avoid looking at an individual’s face. Misaligned eyes, which are typically not recognized by an untrained professional or without a neuro-vision exam, can also cause challenges with reading, eye-hand coordination, balance and/or depth perception. Click here for a questionnaire provided by a neuro-vision clinic.
• Individuals who have experienced abuse have often learned that it is safer to not look someone in the eyes.
• Intuitive, empathic individuals may avoid eye contact because they “know everything there is to know about the person, and feel it in their own body”. (I originally learned about this from a 17 year old student who explained this to me with those words.) The answer to the next question offers a strategy for this.

If it is still deemed appropriate to teach eye contact you can suggest that the individual make brief, but regular or occasional visual contact with the individual’s face, possibly looking at the eyebrows instead of the eyes.

Q:  How do I tune down how sensitive I can be?
A:  Part of this answer is energetic, part of it is how you think about things.

• You don’t need all the possible information to know how to respond, so bring in less.
• Turn down your senses just like you turn down the volume of the podcast or music that you are listening to.
• Understand that it is not your job to take care of everyone, or to ‘save the world’.
• Practice energy modulation and drain your receptacle. (Listen to this short clip to learn how.)
• Practice radical acceptance for having this gift.

Q:  I’m wondering how autism (ASD) and ADHD may be reflecting a more evolved state.
A:  The theory that I offer here is not based on research or data, yet I have heard it discussed by others. I believe the increase in the number of folks with ASD or ADHD may be related to the fact that they are neurologically more sensitive to their environment. We know that these folks tend to be Sensitives. It makes sense that if they are highly attuned to their 5 senses, then they are also sensitive to various factors in our environment. This includes a hyper-reactivity to sensory input as well as various chemicals, additives, and drugs in our food, air and water. All of this can lead to medical conditions as well as neurological over-stimulation leading to meltdowns and other difficulties.

There are also benefits with these heightened awarenesses. These individuals at their core often have a very evolved awareness of Oneness. They seem to have a clearer sense of peace, goodness, and compassion for others and are more in touch with our similarities than our differences. They have a very clear sense of right vs wrong and are often quite frustrated with the state of the world. Hence, I’m very pleased that their numbers appear to be increasing as we need citizens who are more prone to bringing light, goodness, and compassion to our systems as well as enlightened relationships with each other.

Hans Asperger said, “It seems that for success, in science or art, a dash of autism is essential. For success the necessary ingredients may be an ability to turn away from the everyday world, from the simple practical, an ability to rethink a subject with originality so as to create in new untrodden ways.”

And as stated by Albert Einstein, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I had never intended to work with folks who deal with significant traumas, so when my colleague and friend suggested that I accompany her to see Bessel van der Kolk who was speaking in Ann Arbor on trauma, I insistently told her no, several times. But Barb can be very persistent and so I signed up for this great opportunity. I can’t thank her enough! This is one of those trainings that has greatly informed my work with Sensitives.

Dr. van der Kolk taught the group about the common responses that individuals frequently experience emotionally, relationally, and especially physically as a result of their traumatic experience. Because of his information, I suddenly had this ah-hah about the Sensitives that I work with and recognized how their experiences can be understood in the context of trauma that we recognize professionally and as a society. (I now refer to major illness, assault, accident, war, abuse, and neglect as the big T traumas). This information has informed my work ever since, and is key to what I teach my families, my clients, and professional groups about Sensitives.

Sensitives are those who are highly attuned to one or more of the 5 senses (taste, touch, see, hear, smell) and are typically also very intuitive, empathic and energy-aware. At the time of that conference, I already knew of the strong sensory awareness in the autistic population and was seeing it in folks who often experience ADHD and/or anxiety. I began to see the students and adults that I worked with as being on this sensory continuum of Sensitives. I focused on identifying these folks and helping them and others to focus on their strengths while mitigating their weaknesses. At the time I had only a few techniques to address the challenges for Sensitives. These included explaining the situation to their loved ones and their teachers so they can ‘walk a mile in their shoes’; recommending the removal of fluorescent lights, using natural lighting, and generally dimming room lights to address light sensitivity; and teaching the individuals how to modulate their empathic gifts.

Dr. van der Kolk explained that after a trauma the body becomes extremely reactive physiologically to subsequent triggers. Professionals began to recognize this after WWI when the soldiers came back “shell shocked”. In 1980 we diagnosed it PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and realized that it applies to events other than war like accidents, serious illnesses, assaults, abuse, etc. Subsequently, professionals learned specialized treatments including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to address this disorder. (Incidentally, if you are interested in a cutting-edge treatment, check out Havening.org).

The training further explained how if an individual experiences a trauma after successive other traumas (warfare, childhood abuse or neglect, etc.) that their physiologic responses, behaviors, and emotions are likely to be more intense and persistent. And that’s when I understood the physiologic effect with highly sensitive nervous systems (Sensitives). Imagine if you will a sense that is most pronounced for you: maybe it is a particular item of clothing that you find minimally tolerable, or walking on a crowded street in a bustling city, or having to stand near a very loud sound source, or having to stay in the presence of an individual that you just can’t stand. Now imagine that discomfort happening all day long and you can’t make it go away, because it won’t or can’t stop, or you are not allowed to get away from it. This is the experience of a Sensitive – being inundated in life, in school, and even within their own body 24/7 (there are those who say that sleep doesn’t effectively push a pause button on this sensory input) without significant relief. And THIS was my ah-hah: that Sensitives are living with repetitive little t traumas, and the body is responding similarly to how we understand the responses of folks who have suffered the more traditional big T traumas.

Having this new information about the experiences of Sensitives means that I can use a new set of options when working with them and when explaining their situations to others. One of these new awarenesses is to understand that most Sensitives aren’t having tantrums, but rather are experiencing meltdowns. Meltdowns can be best understood in terms of the sensory overload that is occurring from 24/7 input. Their system (physiology) just can’t take one more thing. Remember the story of the straw that broke the camel’s back? This is what is happening to sensitives when the sensory input from their 5 senses or their own or other people’s emotions becomes too much and takes them from ‘0-60’ for seemingly no apparent reason. But now we can understand that there definitely ARE reasons, and we need to identify them and help minimize them where possible.

A term that I have heard used to describe common behaviors of those in the autistic population is PDA – Pathological Demand Avoidance. It seems to refer to a negative trait where the individual refuses to comply with what is requested. It is akin to ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). With my new understanding of Sensitives and trauma, I see these avoidances as a distinct effort to protect oneself from overwhelm. With that understanding one wouldn’t use a punitive or behavioral approach, but rather a look at the antecedents to see how we can reduce or remove the triggers creating the overwhelm.

When we understand the effects on the body, we realize that to approach treatment from only a cognitive or behavioral approach means to miss a critical part of the experience of the individual. To address the physiologic effects of the body I (and others) use techniques that include:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitizing and Reprocessing)
• Havening (Havening.org)
• Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique; TheTappingSolution.com)
• Breath work
• Mindfulness practices
• Relaxation
• Movement
• Somatic work which includes watching the body, the breath, the body tension, etc., and providing opportunities for the body to release the trapped trauma response. (These include the work of Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Ron Siegel, Patricia Ogden, Stephen Porges’ polyvagal theory, etc.)

I was recently listening to a podcast by Dr. Brene Brown who was interviewing Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry about their new book, What Happened to You? Dr. Perry, a neuro-biologist and trauma specialist says, “Instead of asking what is wrong with these kids, ask what happened to these kids?” He then suggests the consideration of the What Do You Expect Disorder? He continues to explain that any pattern of behaviors that activates your stress response system and leads to an alteration in how that system is functioning, leads to an overactivity and an over reactivity. All kinds of people have tiny little experiences that activate the stress response system. And if that pattern is prolonged enough, it leads to the very same changes in the brain as a big T trauma, and is an underestimated and underappreciated component of the trauma narrative.

In light of Dr. Perry’s work and my observations, I encourage you to always look at the antecedents (that which comes before the troubling behavior), particularly those that are in the sensory realm and those that are clearly triggering emotions for your individual. As you do, walk a mile in their shoes in order to see the significance of those antecedents. Then strive to minimize their intensity and frequency, and to teach your individual the necessary skills to tolerate that which cannot be changed.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I talk to a lot of people – friends, colleagues, and clients – and I watch the patterns of conversation. Over the last few months, we have talked a lot about the shift away from social isolation toward finding ease in returning to a more active way of life (while maintaining masks, hygiene, and proper distancing as recommended by the CDC). Initially, these conversations were to provide preparation for when that time would come.

Recently, more adults have received their COVID-19 vaccines, and students and staff have returned to school. These conversations have now taken on more of a timely need and an urgency.

Not surprisingly, a number of people are delighted to return to activities and events that are more reminiscent of times pre-pandemic. Others have expressed that they have felt quite comfortable with some, or many, aspects of the life that they have experienced over this last year and are struggling to make the shift.

This article is written for this latter group. If you are one of these people who looks back at this last year with a partial or complete thought of: please don’t mess with me now! then this article is for you. If you have always (or are now) struggling with general anxiety or social anxiety, this is for you. If you are not personally resonating with this concept, I still encourage you to read it so you can better understand your students, colleagues, friends, and family members. I’ve also included some tips to help you or them to venture out.

WHAT WE ARE EXPERIENCING

No two people are the same so not everyone will describe it the same way, but here is what I’ve been hearing, and it may not be what you expect. What you probably think is that folks are scared of contracting COVID-19, but actually most people do NOT quote their concern of developing COVID as their primary reason for their reluctance to venture back to activities.

Actually, what I find is that many folks are Sensitives (highly attuned to one or more of the five senses) and there is only so much that they feel that they can take in at any given time. This has been a very stressful year with changes in school and work routines, and social and political changes and conflicts. Sensitives are not only dealing with their own experiences of the above, but are also feeling the emotions of the collective which includes their family, workspace or classroom (even on zoom), and society as a whole. There has been a lot to sort and process, all while a pandemic is occurring. Even if you have learned to function in your world, amidst the noise of sensory stimulation and strong emotions, this last year has struck Sensitives in two ways. First, there is more “noise” to process. Second, having to stay home has been a surprising gift to reduce it all.

Let me explain some of the less obvious reasons besides what was mentioned above. Sensitives usually have, or have had, issues with clothing. Society makes a joke about zooming without pants, but that is a welcome relief to many Sensitives. Even the ones who do put on pants feel more freedom to wear comfy clothes than if they were in their school or work settings. Have you heard, “These are my daytime pajamas”? Seriously, many people are wearing sweats or yoga clothes for work and school. As a personal observation I noticed by April 2020 that I couldn’t tolerate any clothing that I felt was binding. My irritability while wearing it was significant, and I realized that it was better to avoid these clothes. Relative calmness resulted.

Many students are reluctant to return to their school buildings. Some of these are kids with social insecurities. They feel that they often do the wrong things, and this has led to teasing and their own subsequent self-judgment. (Please realize that there are adults who experience the world similarly, often because this was their experience throughout their education.) When the world seems like, or has been, a scary place why would the individual want to willingly return?

Sensitives are doing all they can to process all that is happening within and around them. Their bandwidth for tolerating it all has narrowed from pre-pandemic times. They can’t tolerate the thought that they might have to now be in space (literally and energetically) with even more than what they are having to deal with in the confines of their home.

Some others have a history of difficulty with transitions from one activity to another. Others have a history of avoiding any novel activities unless they have a social story of what to expect. (See more on this below.)

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO RE-ENTRY

The individual might be ‘fearing’ losing the relative calmness, and/or may not want to tempt the fates of previous memories. But part of living this human experience is to adapt, or find equanimity (peace with what is), during the changes of life.

In a recent article, author Bufka said, “A few times in the past year I’ve thought about what it was like for my grandmother who was born in 1901, and all the changes that she saw over the course of her life. We’re having a compressed version of that….”

If we look at the developmental stages of life, this is exactly what each of us has been doing since we were born. We learned the ways of early childhood and without even realizing it we adapted into our adolescent years where we began to differentiate ourselves from our parents and our societal teachings. We questioned which of these teachings we wanted to maintain for ourselves, by our own choice. As we moved onward through adulthood, we made these same adaptations as we took on jobs, careers, and new friendships and family members. And through it all there were small and large crises to attend to as we learned how to experience the changes and challenges with the greatest ease. Like Bufka says, a lot is being condensed into what has only been a year of time, which is why some may be finding it so difficult to make the shift back into more traditional activities (even with masks, distancing and washing).

RE-ENTRY STRATEGIES

You don’t have to return to your full pre-pandemic lifestyle. Consider taking it one piece or aspect at a time.

Increase your bandwidth of tolerance by practicing good self-care strategies:

• Adequate rest
• Good nutrition and hydration
• Movement
• Feed your spirit and/or your creative aspects
  • Meditate, pray or daydream
  • Practice your passions and try a new creative art
  • Take time to be in nature
  • Stay connected with friends and loved ones (even if virtually)
• Decrease sensory input when and where possible

Identify the gap and create scaffolding to bridge it:

• Create and provide social stories for yourself or your loved one. One of the reasons why new experiences feel so daunting is because we don’t know what it will look like. Identify and describe what you will most likely expect.
• Practice expanding your comfort level energetically and socially for preparation of going back to work, school etc. Since some individuals seem quite comfortable in their current milieu, they might need a significant amount of coaxing. Be sure to meet these individuals where they are. Ridiculing or shaming will NOT help your cause. Identify the small steps that will help them move comfortably from their desire to stay only indoors to engaging in-person once again: for instance, go outside with a mask; next, take a walk down the block with significant distances from others; then walk in public places and learn to move away from others in a calm, efficient manner that doesn’t attract unnecessary attention. Or, take rides in the family car and return to the house; take a ride and go to a public place, then return; take a ride to a specified place after a social story has been created, discussed and practiced.
• What space do you need for yourself? Can you create it? Role play with a trusted other, or in your mind, how to keep distance, how to ask for another to mask, or what it will look like and feel like to walk away if that is needed for optimal safety. Remember that you control many aspects of your experience.

Practice your previous skills that have been lost during this year away from more traditional routines. Never had those skills? Then this is an awesome time to learn! Find a trusted other, self-help book or professional to guide you through the process with role playing, social stories, and identifying the baby steps to move from present situation to desired participation.

As you approach re-entry, remember that though sometimes different seems uncomfortable or even daunting, it’s only different, not bad or dangerous. Use your strategies to control the narrative when possible, and to adapt your response when needed.

I now offer you this humorous video by The Holderness Family that you might find depicts the inner narrative of the reluctant participants in your life.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

When I recently updated my logo, I returned to the image of my original spiral. It seems appropriate now to explain the story of that spiral and its significance in my life and work.

This story starts several decades ago when I was learning to reduce my anxiety. Knowing me now, you wouldn’t even believe how anxious I was as a youth and early(ier) adult! I was taught breathing and calming exercises, and then meditation. Even that was frightening for this anxious young woman. But little by little over the course of a year I began to let go and allow my body and mind to relax as I returned to my roots as an intuitive empath.

Eventually I began to notice visualizations in these early meditations. The shape was always the same – a spiral. It always had the same direction and the same number of whorls. Eventually, I tried to do research to find out more, but if you can believe this, there was very little about spirals. Without the internet (or maybe it had just begun), there were no links to spiritual messages. There were books, but they only talked about spirals in nature (i.e.: the nautilus shell, plants, etc.) and mathematics (i.e.: the Fibonacci spiral). However, none of that felt satisfying to understand why I was seeing spirals, and this specific spiral, in repeated meditations.

Eventually, I began to experience more diverse visualizations in my meditations. Yet I always remembered those spirals. THAT spiral.

Fast forward to February of 2002 when I opened my private practice, Spiral Wisdom LLC. In the year prior, while I tried to develop a name, I remembered (how could I forget!!) my link to spirals and incorporated it in my business name. I thought this was a full circle moment, but that was yet to come.

My original logo had a very raw image of my spiral, so in 2010 I worked with a graphic designer who suggested a really cool logo that incorporated a spiral into a hand. I accepted it, and even loved it, but I have to be honest that I always missed MY spiral.

In 2012 I traveled to Sedona for a retreat to acknowledge the significance of the date, 12/12/12. As part of our events, we traveled to a local petroglyph site (dated 500 CE – 1425 CE). Our docent was discussing the significance and meanings of the various carvings on the large wall. Most of these carvings were very elaborate and could be measured in feet (see photo below).

I noticed that some of the attendees had circled around to the side wall, so I did so as well. I almost missed it since it was only about 2 inches in diameter. There, as clear as could be was MY spiral (see below). I got so excited I kind of made a scene. LOL The docent was wondering what was going on. He later explained that though he didn’t have an explanation for the meaning of the spiral, it is located on what is considered the women’s wall of the site.

Fast forward to when I celebrated my 60^th birthday with a special ceremony to publicly state, aloud, before my attendees, all the names that had ever been used to identify me, including my maiden name, nick-names, some names from meditations, and my current name. I stepped forward (with an awesome staff that had been loaned to me for this ritual) as me. It was phenomenal. It was transformative! Yet, in hindsight, it was nothing.

Continued work has led me to realize that I had been unwilling to trust exposing myself. I see that I had been hiding behind my business name. I was writing everything business-related on social media under my Spiral Wisdom LLC page. Even my monthly newsletter (which I’ve been writing for eight years) was called The Spiral Wisdom Newsletter.

In the last quarter of 2020 I began to fully acknowledge myself as Judy Lipson and I’m ready to be fully recognized professionally this way. No more hiding! (And my newsletter and website banners have been redesigned with the new logo).

Now, don’t get me wrong. I will always recognize my business as Spiral Wisdom LLC. Spirals, and the wisdom of spirals, are integral to the work that I do. Most people talk of therapy being the peeling away of the layers of an onion to reach the core issues. While this is true, one can also view the movement of the spiral directing one’s awareness to deeper and more integral aspects of their healing; or in reverse, to see how the healing of core issues affects all aspects of one’s life. And seen 3-dimensionally, the spiral becomes a vortex – a powerful space for transformative change.

My 60^th ceremony was the time of ritually stepping forward to own who I was. Creating this new logo and claiming my professional life as Judy Lipson is doing so at a deeper level. From the perspective of the spiral I can see how this is a perfect analogy of going to the center to be the core of me. But the reverse whorl is also the perfect analogy. I have gone inward to find and identify me, and now I’m taking all of that outward, along the whorls of the spiral, transforming myself and spreading the message.

And what is the message? Right now it’s all about helping people to:

• Appreciate Sensitives
• Understand transformation
• Remember and Become Who You Really Are
• Navigate the larger picture of the changes that are happening in our society during this transformative time

I have no idea if this message and mission will morph over time. I just know that I’m happy to show up as Judy, to do this work, and to release that fear of being seen.

Judy

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

All of us are energy, we are surrounded by energy, and we interact with it all as we attune to the energy within and outside ourselves. Some individuals are more aware of this attunement. I call these individuals, myself included, Sensitives. We are highly attuned to the five senses as well as energy, intuition and empathy. Others refer to us as Neuro-Sensitives or Neuro-Diverse. Some of these Sensitives are diagnosed with autism. In a recent course with Awesomism founder Suzy Miller I learned some new aspects for consideration.

Are you familiar with the book The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto? In his fascinating study he placed water in a number of bottles and labeled them with words like love, war, peace, anger, etc. When he later looked at the water under a microscope he found that water that had been exposed to loving words showed brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns, while water exposed to negative words formed incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors. As a result of his study and the visual images, we can better understand how words affect energy, and thus ourselves and each other.

When you realize that everything is energy, it opens up interesting options for you to address certain issues. For instance, let’s imagine that you are a teacher and you are having difficulty with some of your students. Try this exercise: Create a paper doll cutout. Then select the child that you have the most difficulty with. On one side of the paper doll, write out all of the words that describe how you wish this kid would be. Put it on your refrigerator and read that wish list every day. You will likely notice that the child changes. But what has actually changed? Was it your energy changing when you encountered that child because you have filled yourself with these more positive thoughts? Or was it the child who felt the energetic shift through the ethers? I don’t think it matters. Give it a try.

Here’s a different application of the understanding of energy. It is said that neuro-diverse individuals may be able to alter and change things that come into their fields. As a result, they can modify themselves and/or the things that enter their fields. When they access something (like a supplement) they might take as much information from the item as quickly as they can, and then they no longer need it. This might explain why some individuals’ supplements and protocols are in a frequent and constant need for change.

Neuro-sensitives’ fields are more fluid/porous and they can live in multiple realities simultaneously (more on multi-dimensions in October). They perceive time differently and are not likely to see it in the linear manner that our society defines it. Many parents and teachers describe ADHD kids as seemingly unable to follow time requests. I’ve always felt that it is not about their unwillingness. They perceive time differently. We can begin to follow them into their “no time” experience by “feeling” our own experiences and being in the present. It is here that we can feel the presence of All That Is. If you need to encourage them to live in linear time, hold the sensory steps in your mind and visualize the possibility as you experience the situation in linear time. Be careful not to visualize their past actions of not being in time, because then they will be more likely to replicate the behavior that you don’t desire. Feel it how you want to see/feel it.

Neuro-diverse individuals have the ability to mirror or reflect back the various messages that they are receiving whether they or we are aware. Equestrians know that the emotional message that they transmit to their horses is reflected back with their horse’s behavior. Do you own a pet? You can use your pet, particularly a dog, to measure your own feelings. Ready to practice? Watch how your excited behaviors and words make your dog quite excitable? Want the dog to calm down? Intentionally calm your feelings and your body and the dog will calm as well. You can use your pet to provide you with feedback about the moods and messages that you are sending about them, or that you are feeling within yourself. This is especially useful when you live or work with neuro-diverse individuals.

I hope you are enjoying learning more about your autistic, sensitive, or otherwise-named neuro-diverse individual.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t long after the Parkland, Florida high school shooting that I heard about the March For Our Lives movement and the plan to hold a march in Washington DC on March 24, 2018. I immediately put it in my calendar to keep it on my radar. While I thought it sounded amazing, I had no plan, expectation or even a desire to attend. My husband knew immediately that he needed to be in DC, though he could have attended one of several local marches. “But not me,” I told everyone.

You see, I am an extroverted introvert. Or is it an introverted extrovert?

I enjoy talking with and meeting new people. To others, I appear as an outgoing individual.

Sounds like the classic extrovert, right? But I’m actually an introvert. People think being an introvert means keeping to oneself and speaking sparingly to others. But being an introvert actually describes how one replenishes their energy. Like other introverts I boost my energies best when I am by myself, and often in a space with minimal sensory input.

In addition to being an introvert, I am also an empath. This means I sometimes knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly, pick up the energies and emotions of others. Being an empath can feel exhausting and overwhelming for some, and it has felt that way for me for most of my life. For all these reasons I thought that being at a national march was a ridiculous idea for me. Why would I knowingly and willingly place myself in the middle of a huge group of people who are feeling sadness, anger, frustration and other strong emotions? Why would I willingly be in a group, most likely standing in close proximity to many others, with no opportunity to move to a location by myself?

Shortly after hearing about the march, I began to hear the passion in the students’ voices and in their messages. I listened to my student-clients and heard their passion and frustrations as well. Soon, the calling to be at the march in support of our youth was greater than the assumed discomfort of me being there. I recognized the call, and this knowledge helped give me strength. Thus the trip was planned.

Even on the plane the day prior to the march, the shifts of collective energy were apparent. There was a reporter and her cameraman seated near us. Next to the reporter was coincidentally (or synchronistically) a 17-year-old teen whose family’s connecting flight took them through Detroit. This teen was one of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school students who was scheduled to speak. When it was time for everyone to leave the plane, there was no rushing or pushing. In fact, we who sat in the back of the plane, just relaxed in our seats until the rows in front had sufficiently cleared. The flight attendant said that in her 18 years of service she has never seen such a calm, polite, respectful group of passengers. We think it’s because so many on that flight were arriving in DC to represent the larger value of social responsibility and social consciousness.

We arrived at the march 90 minutes before the event was due to begin. The number of people already there was, to no one’s surprise, huge. All of us began slowly making our way in the direction of the stage. Although there were smiles everywhere I briefly worried, “What was I thinking? This will be hard enough during the march itself when everyone is here and there are wall-to-wall people. There is still so much time for me to overwhelm before it even begins.” If you are also an empath/introvert/Sensitive you may relate to those thoughts. However, I quickly put into practice for myself the suggestions that I offer to others: I returned to the present moment and stayed out of story, thereby keeping my thoughts to what was happening right then. Not surprisingly, I did not spin into worry. Instead I enjoyed what I love best.

I love people watching and many of the signs that the participants carried were creatively composed. It was great to see teens, families and little children, alongside the baby-boomers like myself. We were all together, all sharing a common purpose. I found that walking with, and standing near like-minded individuals was exhilarating. The energy at the event was palpable. And this was before anyone even came to the podium.

The speakers – our youth – articulately and passionately shared their deepest desires along with their greatest fears. They encouraged us and rallied us with their strength and through their tears. And we responded in kind with cheers, tears, and a cascade of emotions that included hope, frustration and strength. We were (reportedly) 800,000 yet we were one: one voice, one passion, one message that insisted that we find a way for our youth (everyone actually) to feel safe in schools and in their lives.

If you are wondering how this Introvert (Sensitive/Empath) was so successful, I admit that it has been a fascinating journey. It has included a fearless look at my worries and my fears, learning what tools work best for me to help me to process my emotions and the emotions of others, energy modulation so my empathic skills work in moderation, keeping my heart open, and practicing grounding exercises.

Or maybe it was the simple truth expressed in a sign that I saw right after I had found my own personal peace. I wish I had thought of this and carried it myself:

SO BAD EVEN INTROVERTS ARE HERE

May you each find the peace that you wish, to go where you need, so that you may continue to make a difference in the world.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Recent statistics indicate that 1 in 68 children are on the autism spectrum; however autistics are not the only ones who experience sensory overload.

It is very likely that you know someone professionally, in your social group, or in your family who is neuro-sensitive. Sensitives can be autistic or neuro-typical (without autism). Over the years in my practice I have seen many children and adults who are neuro-sensitive. As their prevalence increases, so does their sensory awareness and responsiveness.

There is much speculation as to why there are more individuals who experience the world in this way. It could be evolutionary, neurological or the additives, drugs and pesticides in our food network.

Regardless of the cause, with the increasing number of individuals affected, there is a responsibility to learn how to best support Sensitives. There are a number of traditional approaches provided by occupational therapists, behaviorists, and speech and language therapists. There are also less-conventional approaches. I wrote about these in Setting Boundaries and Energy Cleansing.

You are encouraged to increase your awareness of the many situations that can create difficulties for the neuro-sensitives in your life so that you can support that individual or help to bring about systems change.

SCHOOLS

Kids spend the majority of their day in these environments for twelve or more years. We can reduce their sensory impact and ease their experiences.

LIGHT SENSITIVITY: Fluorescent lighting creates visual and auditory challenges. Highly sensitive individuals are bothered by the pulsations that fluorescents emit, as well as the sound from light ballasts. Light sensitivity can also affect reading: ease, accuracy, memory, concentration, and comprehension. Using natural or incandescent lighting in schools and at home can increase your child’s relaxation, reading skills, and even their willingness to do homework.

RECESS AND PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Weak muscle tone and poor coordination increase the likelihood that sports and team activities may not be a positive experience. Loud echoing sounds, close proximity and lack of structure add additional difficulties. Encourage involvement in individual sports like swimming, bowling, tennis, golf, track, cross-country and martial arts.

SOCIAL: Educator Richard LaVoie explains that everything in school, and life, is a social decision. Social situations are typically not easy for Sensitives: should they attend to the words, the tone, the body language, or the energy of the speaker? These are rarely congruent. To assist, provide explicit instructions for nearly every social scenario. It’s not uncommon for them to fail to generalize one situation to another. For assistance, do an internet or book search for “social stories”.

MEDICAL

To avoid triggering an exaggerated startle response, explain the action and its purpose before physical contact, or when approaching with a medical instrument. Also, anatomical pictures trigger some Sensitives.

DOCTOR OFFICES: Try to arrive on time, ask to be brought into an exam room quickly, and to be seen promptly to avoid anxious waits, an overly stimulating waiting area, and possible meltdowns.

HOSPITALS: Imagine this scenario: A medical concern; agitation; bright fluorescent lighting; naked under the irritating fabric of an uncomfortable gown; sounds; communication challenges; lack of medical knowledge; presumed loss of rights; fear of stimming (self-soothing) in public; lack of privacy for solitude or toileting. Neuro-sensitives will require a great deal of support in these environments.

ENTERTAINMENT

Encourage social activities. Movies, bowling and even cruises are now offering autism/sensory-friendly options.

MOVIES/THEATER: Loud volume, darkness, and the expectations for silence and for sitting still for periods of time can seem impossible – and are likely to lead to meltdowns or “inappropriate behaviors”.

RESTAURANTS: With planning and instruction, the potential difficulties of too many menu options, the inability to sit still, and conversation challenges with wait staff can be made successful.

MALLS AND LARGE VENUES: Large expanses of space can make a neuro-sensitive unaware of their body and lose their sense of self. The emotions and energy of other people, bright lighting, fragrances, and temperature changes outside the different stores are physically uncomfortable and overwhelming to their senses.

EMOTIONS: Even exuberance and joy can over-stimulate their system.

Neuro-sensitives have a highly aroused nervous system and lack the ability to process the information from their bodies and their environment without triggering an over-reactive fight-or-flight response. It is imperative to remember that any subsequent behavioral outbursts are a reaction to their sensory system overload. These meltdowns are not the equivalent of tantrums.

Benjamin Franklin said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Teaching neuro-sensitives a variety of coping skills and encouraging them to use these strategies is extremely beneficial. When possible take the initiative to modify their surroundings by assessing the potential impact of the five senses, energy awareness, and empathy, as well as expectations for social interaction and communication.

Doing so for your neuro-sensitives will ease the situation and minimize or avoid meltdowns or discomfort.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Do you have a child (of any age) who is not like you?

I have worked with a number of families. Sometimes the client is the parent while other times the client is the child, or an adult child. Regardless, our conversations are often about scenarios that show how the child is wired differently from the parent; yet frequently neither really understands this. Here are the main topics that come up.

SOCIAL

I see a number of individuals who avoid social scenarios. They may only have a few friends, and may even avoid time with their family. This can be very disconcerting for a parent, and this is what I often hear:

“My child seems lonely, and I don’t want him/her to grow up alone.”

“Why is his/her school/college experience so drab? Why can’t s/he enjoy it? Why doesn’t my child go to school games and parties? College, tailgating, and parties were an amazing experience for me, and s/he is not participating!”

“Friends are important, and my child is missing out on social opportunities and experiences!”

If your child is a Sensitive (neuro-diverse) and experiences sensory overload, s/he will want more alone time and may seem more anxious, moody, or intolerant of others and their environment. It’s also possible that s/he misunderstands social scenarios and communication.

This child is not wired like you and does not receive the same pleasures in social company as you. As a matter of fact, I hear these individuals describe social activities as anything but fun. Let’s remember that they are very sensitive to the energies, the sounds, and the people in their environments. In addition to the sensory challenges they usually don’t have the social skill set that you (a neuro-typical) do, and they find every social or communication encounter as a potential landmine: “What do I say/do in this situation? Will it be right? Will they approve? Will they make fun of me (again)?”

Teaching these individuals the nuances of conversation, and developing their confidence and self-worth will significantly help, but they are still not wired like you. As a result, they will likely prefer more isolated experiences than you do. This does not mean it’s bad. They’re just different.

ACADEMICS/CAREERS

Parents hope and expect that their children will grow up to have amazing and prominent careers. Many families expect their children to go to college and study finance, business, law, medicine, etc. Graduate school is often an expectation. Yet, the academic experience of these different kids may not provide them successful college (or K-12) experiences.

For your student, school may be boring or confusing, or both. Educators have known for decades that children learn best via different preferred methods. Your child may learn best visually (books and worksheets), by listening (lecture/discussion), or kinesthetically (movement and hands-on). Some prefer to learn in groups, while others (see the social issues above) learn best when they work alone. Unfortunately, our schools don’t fully allow for these differences. In order to successfully navigate the school years your child probably requires a lot of your help.

College can be a more positive experience for your different child. Encourage the selection of classes that are enjoyable and interesting that are offered at times that match their sleep/wake rhythms: this may be one class per day, avoiding morning classes, etc. S/he may need to live at home initially to continue to benefit from your supports or might do best in a single dorm or even an apartment.

College students are often expected to take a very large credit load to be considered full time. Your child may only be able to handle 1-3 courses. The needs of each child are unique. Regardless, your child may still require your guidance for executive functioning skills (organization, lists, time management, etc), which you have been providing since it is not their strength.

This child may be incredibly wise and academically brilliant, but not be best suited for the career choices that you dream of for your child. I recently had a college student explain that the traditional liberal arts classes became boring much too quickly and this student failed to find the purpose in attending and learning. This same student realized that a course like Computer Design (CAD) provides more immediate feedback of progress and accomplishment, and with this information has renewed interest in pursuing a college education and degree.

If you were the parent of this student would you be able to release your own dream for this child’s career? What if the child’s preferred interest was something like culinary? If you find yourself living your own dreams vicariously through your child, you are cheating both of you of a full life experience.

HELPING YOU FIND PEACE WITH IT ALL

HAVE APPROPRIATE EXPECTATIONS – What does your child need to develop to his or her fullest potential? This might not be what you needed as a child, teen or young adult; and it may not be what your child’s siblings or other family members need(ed).

ACCEPTANCE – When you have complete acceptance of your child, as they really are, then you can better provide them with what they need. (Please note that most neuro-diverse kids have a built-in radar detector for being judged and will be more apt to reach their potential when you can truly accept them for who they are.)

BOUNDARIES – Just because you fully accept your child as s/he is doesn’t mean that there are no rules or expectations. Make sure that your rules are appropriate for your child’s age and developmental level, and recognize the difference between willful disregard and sensory overload. The latter might draw your child into acting-out behaviors or withdrawal, but your child is being self-protective rather than being manipulative. Then follow up with….

CONSISTENCY – Sometimes it’s appropriate to be flexible, but also remember that your child may require or appreciate knowing what to expect. Without being rigid about your rules, be sure that you follow through. All children appreciate knowing the expectations and the possible consequences. Don’t threaten a consequence that you can’t, or shouldn’t, follow.

Hopefully this guide to understanding and accepting your different child provided insights. I welcome hearing about your own experiences.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

From listening to politicians and the news media, and even your neighbors and family, it’s easy to conclude that these are scary times. This article will explain fear and anxiety, provide you anxiety/stress reducing tools, and offer a way of looking at the world in which we live from a metaphysical perspective.

Fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” (Oxford Dictionaries). The amygdala, that part of the brain that determines safety, hasn’t evolved to distinguish the difference between a true imminent threat and an area of possible concern. It evaluates every input from one of your senses including what is seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted, and emotionally felt. From a safety perspective this makes perfect sense. But the amygdala has not learned to differentiate between a bear on a forest path and a call to the boss’ office. Both result in the same physiologic fight, flight or freeze response. Additionally, the amygdala and its supportive systems rarely distinguish between a threat that is happening to you and a threat that is happening to someone else while it’s viewed on the news or in a movie, or is told to you by another. The mind/body/emotions respond as if the threat is happening to you, right now.

To make matters more complicated, if you happen to be one of the many highly sensitive individuals (not just those on the autistic spectrum), your amygdala is hyper-vigilant. And if you are a worrier, then every additional worry-thought after the original trigger keeps your amygdala continuously responding.

The amygdala’s response is designed to be temporary, not to keep the system on high alert 24/7. Since the amygdala response actually lasts only 90 seconds, anything longer is due to the amygdala being repeatedly triggered by either the continuation of the real danger or by the mind’s continued focus on the perceived danger (actually a worry-thought).

Here are some ways to keep your amygdala response to the more manageable 90 seconds:

PHYSICALLY

Focusing on your breath provides mindfulness, and also acts as a reboot for your physiologic system. Watch the movement of your chest and abdomen: observe without controlling, or strive for longer, but not deeper, breaths.

Observe your body for tension and anxiety. Drop your shoulders away from your ears to open your lungs for a more complete breath. Practice progressive relaxation techniques.

Exercise is a great de-stress technique, but if it is unavailable change your position to move your body, and also to change the visual scene that has your attention.

Participate in sensory experiences, i.e.: sip hot tea, take a bath, listen to preferred (and preferably calming) music, or pet an animal. As you do these activities immerse yourself in all the sensations that are involved (temperature, flavor, sounds, textures, etc).

Practice “tapping”. Use your fingertips to gently tap your collarbone; or tap the side of your hand on your opposite palm.

EMOTIONALLY

Change from worrying to doing. Allow yourself only one assessment of something that happened in the past. Reliving it as a memory will not change it and will only recall the negative emotions and physiology. Also, allow yourself only one assessment of something that is to come in the future, thereby changing your worry to an action plan of what can be done to address the area of concern (start the project, enter a to-do list in your calendar, practice a conversation, etc).

Infuse yourself with laughter and humor: comedians, funny books, amusing movies, etc.

Practice energy modulation to reduce your empathic response: Focus on your inner space that absorbs others’ emotions and energy. Find a visual imagery (balloon, weave, etc) that lets you reduce its size when desired and needed.

COGNITIVELY

Boundaries are important. Decide when and how long you’ll entertain the worry. Select a specific time to think about this issue and limit the amount of time you will address it. Ten to twenty minutes should be sufficient. If it doesn’t seem complete, then make another appointment time.

Question your beliefs. Are they real? Is it true? Is there a different perspective? Talk to a trusted friend or professional so that you can get the fear-thoughts outside yourself where they can be looked at objectively (from the shadow to the light).

Look for the “stories”. These are assumed truths that masquerade as reality. Remember that F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Find the stories in your thoughts and dispel them.

METAPHYSICALLY

To minimize anxiety, align your outward actions with your inner beliefs and values. Make sure that when necessary you speak your truth respectfully, and act in alignment with your truest self.

Metaphysically we also understand that to bring in more light, the shadow must be seen. As the shadows come out of hiding, their visibility makes it easier to address. Fearing a shadow makes it heavier, denser, darker and more recalcitrant. By making it visible and turning to look, we bring it to the light with compassion and understanding. This is true for you personally, and also our society.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Are you ready to live your authentic life?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The next time you are in the presence of an infant or young child observe the authenticity with which they approach life. If something brings pleasure, they fully radiate joy, and if something is not making them happy, they will certainly express that as well. The real beauty is that they can swiftly return to joy with incredible ease.

Many of you inadvertently lost touch with your authenticity after the socialization process. Seemingly insignificant conversations might have affected your ability to know and remember yourself. An example might be when you were told to hug your visiting aunt. When you said that you don’t like getting close to your aunt, the adults in your world insisted that you ignore your feelings and go hug her anyway. Each time you saw yourself discounted for the ‘greater good’ there was the potential to lose a bit of your authentic self.

Another common situation was when, as a child, you were intuitive or knew things that your adult caregivers didn’t remember, didn’t believe, or feared. Could you see auras? Did you know things about people? Could you predict the future? The child is reliant on physical and emotional safety from others, so you may have discounted your abilities and suppressed them in order to be or feel safe.

As an adult you can understand the bigger picture that you could not know or understand as a child. Now you can understand that adults did not know better. Had they known differently, they would have acted differently; had the child understood that they could have maintained internal and external integrity, they would have.

Recognize that your inner child still reacts to these original experiences. Intentionally rewrite your internal dialogue to reflect your new, more expansive understanding. Change your beliefs and change the paradigm; give your authentic self the permission it has been craving to be expressed.

BECOMING AUTHENTIC

Are you ready to return to your authentic state? Indigo children and adults, and the autistic clients I see, seem to have a head start on authenticity. Indigos live life emphasizing the importance to not suppress. They have a trait, which our societal paradigm describes as rebellious, that doesn’t tolerate inconsistency. When understood accurately, Asperger and autistic clients demonstrate a verbal honesty and congruence between actions, speech and their inner experience.

Maybe you have recognized the desire to be authentic as a thought:
I want to live life more fully.
I am ready to do what I’m here to do.
I want to be who I Am.
I sense that I’m to do something significant.

To become Who You Really Are – a Spiritual Being having a Human Experience – it is necessary to integrate the Spiritual with the Human. These traits include:

CONSCIOUSNESS: Open to the possibility of knowing. This is more than your brain’s memories and knowledge. This is accessing your intuition and your gut instinct. It is not necessary to force this connection; it is already available.

COMPASSION: Bring the heart and brain into energetic alignment and cooperation. Consider Heart Math’s Quick Coherence Technique: Focus your attention on your heart. Now have your breath focus in your heart. Then, remember a very positive emotion to bring about Heart Feeling. Repeat this sequence.

VESSEL: Your body is not the enemy. It allows you the opportunity to experience All That Is. This is a difficult concept for Sensitives who experience frequent sensory overload. Learn to accept your body and to use its sensations as a method of communication.

Have you been living your life with the focus on one to the exclusion of the others? It is not uncommon to see clients who wish to focus exclusively on meditation and spirituality, who emphasize the cerebral, or who focus primarily on the body to the exclusion of the rest. None of these aspects are bad. Your goal is to find balance for all.

BENEFITS OF AUTHENTICITY

As you learn to speak and act in congruence with your values and personal needs, you may notice that your core anxiety diminishes, which increases inner peace. Authenticity can also affect your self-worth.

Living an authentic life allows you to live life in flow and in Oneness. When you stop seeing the world from the polarity of separation the veil of illusion is lifted. Your fears and worry will reduce intensity or cease to hang on. From this place of greater peace, authenticity and oneness, you can then spread peace and love.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information. 

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.