By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The suggestions that I offer below are appropriate for stress, anxiety, and panic attacks. Panic attacks are quite scary, and as humans we assume that if we are experiencing something in the now, then it will continue forever.  But this is not the case. You won’t likely drop a 10 out of 10 experience in a moment or a minute. But you can always do one small thing to reduce it, and then do one more (same or different) thing, and so on. Here are some suggestions in no particular order:

• Use your mind to reframe the situation.
  • “This is not forever.” (It won’t be! And knowing the strategies listed below will allow you to calm your body.)
  • “Nothing dangerous is happening to me.” (Panic attacks are a physiological response brought on by your nervous system. When you know that you are fine, you can let the additional worry go.)
• Tap (See TheTappingSolution .com for additional information). Key points: Using two fingers, tap lightly under your eye. You can also tap on your collar bone or the side of your hand. This helps to move the energy and the emotions through your body.
• Move your body. If that is not possible under the circumstances, consider doing isometric exercises to help work those muscles. 1) Grasp your alternate forearm up near the elbow with your hand. Gently pull your arms away from each other, release, repeat. 2) Place your outstretched arms out above your knees, palms facing each other. Cross your arms at the wrist so the palms are now naturally facing out. Drop these crossed hands inside your knees. Gently push hands against knees, and knees against hands, release, repeat.
• Breathe. Take natural inhalations (you don’t need any more energy right now), and extend the gentle exhalations. Continue to breathe in this way. Think “long breaths”. If the breath is feeling uncomfortable or forced, return to your natural breath for a couple breaths, then elongate the exhalations again.
• Drop your shoulders away from your ears, particularly on the exhalations. Don’t lift them back up again on the inhales. (Stress tightens the muscles and constricts the shoulders and rib cage, limiting the ability to take full breaths. This gentle practice will alleviate this problem.)
• Reach out to a trusted friend or professional.
• When stress hits memory and processing are typically reduced and you may not remember these tips, so keep a list of your strategies in your phone or wallet.

Ultimately, the goal is to remember that you can bring sanctuary to you. You needn’t feel that you must escape the situation and go somewhere else to feel safe. You’ve got this!

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

When I recently updated my logo, I returned to the image of my original spiral. It seems appropriate now to explain the story of that spiral and its significance in my life and work.

This story starts several decades ago when I was learning to reduce my anxiety. Knowing me now, you wouldn’t even believe how anxious I was as a youth and early(ier) adult! I was taught breathing and calming exercises, and then meditation. Even that was frightening for this anxious young woman. But little by little over the course of a year I began to let go and allow my body and mind to relax as I returned to my roots as an intuitive empath.

Eventually I began to notice visualizations in these early meditations. The shape was always the same – a spiral. It always had the same direction and the same number of whorls. Eventually, I tried to do research to find out more, but if you can believe this, there was very little about spirals. Without the internet (or maybe it had just begun), there were no links to spiritual messages. There were books, but they only talked about spirals in nature (i.e.: the nautilus shell, plants, etc.) and mathematics (i.e.: the Fibonacci spiral). However, none of that felt satisfying to understand why I was seeing spirals, and this specific spiral, in repeated meditations.

Eventually, I began to experience more diverse visualizations in my meditations. Yet I always remembered those spirals. THAT spiral.

Fast forward to February of 2002 when I opened my private practice, Spiral Wisdom LLC. In the year prior, while I tried to develop a name, I remembered (how could I forget!!) my link to spirals and incorporated it in my business name. I thought this was a full circle moment, but that was yet to come.

My original logo had a very raw image of my spiral, so in 2010 I worked with a graphic designer who suggested a really cool logo that incorporated a spiral into a hand. I accepted it, and even loved it, but I have to be honest that I always missed MY spiral.

In 2012 I traveled to Sedona for a retreat to acknowledge the significance of the date, 12/12/12. As part of our events, we traveled to a local petroglyph site (dated 500 CE – 1425 CE). Our docent was discussing the significance and meanings of the various carvings on the large wall. Most of these carvings were very elaborate and could be measured in feet (see photo below).

I noticed that some of the attendees had circled around to the side wall, so I did so as well. I almost missed it since it was only about 2 inches in diameter. There, as clear as could be was MY spiral (see below). I got so excited I kind of made a scene. LOL The docent was wondering what was going on. He later explained that though he didn’t have an explanation for the meaning of the spiral, it is located on what is considered the women’s wall of the site.

Fast forward to when I celebrated my 60^th birthday with a special ceremony to publicly state, aloud, before my attendees, all the names that had ever been used to identify me, including my maiden name, nick-names, some names from meditations, and my current name. I stepped forward (with an awesome staff that had been loaned to me for this ritual) as me. It was phenomenal. It was transformative! Yet, in hindsight, it was nothing.

Continued work has led me to realize that I had been unwilling to trust exposing myself. I see that I had been hiding behind my business name. I was writing everything business-related on social media under my Spiral Wisdom LLC page. Even my monthly newsletter (which I’ve been writing for eight years) was called The Spiral Wisdom Newsletter.

In the last quarter of 2020 I began to fully acknowledge myself as Judy Lipson and I’m ready to be fully recognized professionally this way. No more hiding! (And my newsletter and website banners have been redesigned with the new logo).

Now, don’t get me wrong. I will always recognize my business as Spiral Wisdom LLC. Spirals, and the wisdom of spirals, are integral to the work that I do. Most people talk of therapy being the peeling away of the layers of an onion to reach the core issues. While this is true, one can also view the movement of the spiral directing one’s awareness to deeper and more integral aspects of their healing; or in reverse, to see how the healing of core issues affects all aspects of one’s life. And seen 3-dimensionally, the spiral becomes a vortex – a powerful space for transformative change.

My 60^th ceremony was the time of ritually stepping forward to own who I was. Creating this new logo and claiming my professional life as Judy Lipson is doing so at a deeper level. From the perspective of the spiral I can see how this is a perfect analogy of going to the center to be the core of me. But the reverse whorl is also the perfect analogy. I have gone inward to find and identify me, and now I’m taking all of that outward, along the whorls of the spiral, transforming myself and spreading the message.

And what is the message? Right now it’s all about helping people to:

• Appreciate Sensitives
• Understand transformation
• Remember and Become Who You Really Are
• Navigate the larger picture of the changes that are happening in our society during this transformative time

I have no idea if this message and mission will morph over time. I just know that I’m happy to show up as Judy, to do this work, and to release that fear of being seen.

Judy

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Antecedents are the key to understanding and releasing

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Years ago, I acquired a mini-poster showing how anger is actually due to a myriad of other emotions. It was one of those moments that helped to bring so many things into perspective. Anger is more of a reactive symptom, so when I see anger in my clients I look for the antecedent/cause.

I often show the poster to my clients so that they can understand their own anger, or the anger of a significant other. As many have explored their own anger, two additional causative factors have been added: feeling misunderstood and betrayal. Here is the complete list (in no particular order). Are there any influences that you would like to add?

Anxiety
Shame
Sadness
Fear
Hurt
Guilt
Worry
Frustration
Disappointment
Embarrassment
Jealousy
Misunderstood
Betrayal

Think about the times that you have felt or acted angry, and look at the list to identify your underlying emotion(s) to better recognize the real issue(s). Next, I encourage you to additionally go one step further. Think back and identify when in your history, most frequently during your childhood, you experienced that earlier emotion. Emotional extremes, like anger, are usually triggered by an earlier experience, for which the current event is a reminder. Now you have the potential to address it at its root in order to release the anger.

Fear is another emotional extreme. This is because there are rarely any situations of true endangerment. Yet our physiologic system doesn’t differentiate, and assumes that we are in true danger. When we understand the process, we can actually minimize our physical symptoms and our related thoughts and feelings. I have written about this in numerous articles including Transforming Fear. To summarize the techniques:

• Remember that the fight/flight response lasts only ninety seconds
• Use mindfulness, breath, and relaxation to calm your thoughts and body’s reactions
• Change from worrying to doing
• Reduce your sensory and emotional input with energy modulation and other techniques
• Use good boundaries
• Stay out of story (fear is False Evidence Appearing Real)

I believe that fear, like anger, can be looked at as a secondary issue. In fact, fear and anger appear to often be distractors and thus agents of resistance. Let me pause for a moment to acknowledge that sensory overload and other biological factors can be the source of anxiety, or elevated emotional states that trigger anger. But I have seen that worry and anger flood the system so that you are effectively distracted from the real issues. Thus patterns, themes, and root causes are often buried under layers of behaviors and words. Consequently, fear and anger can be perceived as communicators – pointing you, or a therapist, to the underlying truths.

Humans by nature are inclined to move away from those things that are uncomfortable. Regarding fear, author Eckhart Tolle reminds us to stop running from the fear and to turn to look at it instead. I’ve actually done this, and it’s true that the thing that was kept in hiding is not as big and scary as formerly believed. In fact, it’s always smaller and less frightening than the unknown that I was running from. Tolle is right!

What is the truth that you may be running from?

• Often it is a misunderstanding or inaccuracy that developed from the experiences of your Inner Child. Transform yourself into the caring adult and assure your inner child that you have a deeper, broader understanding of the events, as well as the skills to keep your inner child/you safe.
• If you experienced a traumatic event, I urge you to partner with a qualified trauma expert to help you release without reliving the trauma. These include professionals trained in Havening Therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), or Somatic (Body-Oriented) Therapy.
• Are you running from your own worth? Author Marianne Williamson says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us…. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Might you be ready to uncover the layers between you and Who You Really Are?

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information. 

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Help your child to worry less and feel relaxed.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Kids today have full schedules: school, athletics, family time, and extra-curricular and other activities. Busy kids respond to their hectic lives the same way that adults do: sleep is impacted, proper nutrition ignored, and kids feel generally overwhelmed. Hectic schedules also minimize quiet times that are imperative for development and well-being.

I recently heard a police officer on the radio describing how he takes care of business: he avoids emotion so that he can respond effectively to crises, save people and keep himself protected. Is this the effect that busy schedules have on your child? Your child may move from crisis to crisis (appointments, homework, studying, keeping family and friends happy) and without even realizing, shut down feelings. You may need to guide your child to find the opportunities to open his or her heart, feel emotions and attain inner peace.

If your child also struggles with low self-esteem or perfectionist tendencies, there is an additional subconscious tendency to avoid inner feelings and thoughts. Taking care of business and busyness seem preferable to avoid focusing on the underlying emotions and negative internal messages.

It is important that your child not be constantly focused on activities outside of the self. When your child takes the time to be inwardly aware, then s/he can maintain an open heart, allow emotions, and recognize and develop the authentic self. Teach your children the following skills: 

Change Thought Patterns

The situation and its accompanying feelings are challenging enough; minimize suffering by responding only to what is.

Einstein said we can’t solve a problem with the same set of information that got us there. Encourage your child to share thoughts so s/he can be advised where they might be inaccurate. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.

Sharing thoughts aloud brings them into perspective and reveals inaccuracies, giving them less power over your child.

Release the worry thoughts for a more appropriate time. If it’s time to learn, take a quiz/test, study or sleep then worrying is a hindrance. With imagination, place the worry thoughts in a hot air balloon, an elevator, a drawer, etc. For this to work, retrieve these worry thoughts at a later time: after school, the next day, in counseling, or with a trusted adult; limit the worry time to a specific time frame, i.e.: 15 minutes.

Stay in the Present

Focus on activities, like chores, as they occur rather than multi-tasking. When walking, be mindful of the footsteps rather than the thoughts.

Focus on the movement of the chest and abdomen with each inhalation and exhalation. The breath is always there; while focusing on breathing, worries are kept at bay.

Relax

Drop the shoulders away from the ears during some exhalations.

Beginning at the feet or head, progress slowly through each body part. “I relax my toes and feet, I relax my ankles and calves….” If your child gets distracted and realizes the mind is wandering again, have them acknowledge without judgment and draw the awareness back to the breath; then begin the relaxation again (even if the progression was nearly complete). Remind your child that this is not a contest or a race; the process is important.

Open the Energy Channels

When emotions are avoided or ineffectively expressed they can create blockages in the body and lead to dis-ease.

Move the body: walk, pace, change position; allow music to direct the body’s movement.

Participate in yoga, tai chi, cranial sacral therapy, acupuncture, Reiki, EFT, etc.

Where possible, remove the triggers and challenges in your child’s life to reduce stress and worry. Teach your child that when the outer world cannot be adjusted, s/he can alter the inner response. The tools listed above can assist in that process. Begin teaching these tools to your child at a young age if possible; yet, it is never too late to learn.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Does your child experience anxiety? It has become more common and at younger ages too. Anxiety shows itself in many ways. Some children become quiet and introverted. Others act angry. They may lose focus, display inattention or fidget –resembling ADHD. Many have headaches, stomach upset, etc. In school, some children experience test anxiety, difficulty with oral presentations, reluctance to attend school or they skip classes.

There are various possible causes for anxiety. It may be the result of challenges that your child has experienced. Some families recognize that anxiety seems to run in their family. Many people who are prone to feelings of anxiety are highly sensitive in all five senses. (Read Sensitive Children)

There are several techniques that you can teach your child to reduce stress and anxiety:

Breathe – When you ask a person to be the observer of their breath, the mind calms. Say to your child:

Take a slow, gentle breath in; as you do, watch how your chest and abdomen (tummy) move out; as you exhale (breathe out), see how your chest and abdomen move back inward once again. Take a few more breaths, just watching the movement.

Relaxation – It is also important to relax the physical body. When the body is tense, the shoulders rise up and the chest can’t breathe as fully; so you breathe faster. The mind interprets this as anxiety, making an already anxious situation worse. Say this to your child:

Close your eyes and say in your mind what I say out loud. I relax my toes and feet. I relax my ankles and calves. I relax my knees and thighs. I relax my hips and waist. With my next breath I breathe this relaxation into my back. I relax my lower back, middle back, upper back. I relax my shoulders away from my ears. I relax my neck, jaw, chin, tongue, cheeks, nose, eyes, forehead and temples. I’m fully relaxed from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Breathe in peace and exhale tension.

This is an excellent trick to fall asleep at night. (If you are interested, I have a professionally recorded relaxation CD available on my website.)

“Tree” –

Sit or stand with your feet on the ground. Imagine the trunk (torso) of your body is the trunk of the tree. Feel the strength of the tree move down through your legs and feet (the roots), anchoring you into earth.

This is a great technique when someone is anxious, agitated or experiencing hyperactivity.

Cognitive Reframing – Not everything that the mind thinks, is true. Some children practice catastrophizing. If your child does this, then s/he sees a situation, perceives it as stressful, and then assumes that every worst possible scenario will occur. Here are some helpful comments to your child when this happens: What is the worst possible thing that can occur? Saying it out loud takes away some of its power. Are you absolutely certain that it will? Compassionate humor may be helpful.

Another thing that anxious children do is obsess about a worry. Teach your child that they can make one evaluation of what took place, or what they are worried about in their future. It is good to learn from things that have happened in our past. Review it ONE TIME. Now the lesson is learned. It is good to plan for something in the future – a difficult conversation, a big project, etc. ONE TIME. After that it is now an action plan with things to DO, not think about. Your child cannot change the past with thoughts. It has happened already. Your child cannot change the future with thoughts. Only their action can influence the future.

Teach your child to use these techniques for oral presentations, tests, difficult conversations and other stressful life activities. Each of these will empower your child to realize that s/he CAN reduce the anxiety. These tips work for all ages. Model them for your child. Engage the support of a qualified professional if the symptoms are affecting your child’s personality, activities, friendships, school success or general life ease. Give your child the opportunity to live the gifts that s/he is, without the anxiety.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Published in Metro You Magazine, April 2011