By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

What is a mission? Interestingly, the Oxford Dictionary offers a variety of definitions. The first is an important assignment carried out for political, religious, or commercial purposes. This is not my preferred definition. On the surface it doesn’t sound problematic, but I prefer the third definition of mission: a strongly felt aim, ambition, or calling.

Over the years I have had an opportunity to speak to many adults. Many are sensing something significant that they are pursuing, and a desire to follow this important path that they are feeling. They have suspected its existence since they were young. The children and teens that I speak to also talk of their mission for this lifetime. What is especially extraordinary is that they have sensed this need from a young age, younger than most of the adults who have expressed it.

I have been writing recently about the kids of the future – those who are paradoxically here today. Have you seen these children on the news? These are compassionate and passionate children with a deep desire to create change, who seem to feel obligated to do just that. (For more information read Hippies, Indigos, Crystal Children, and Beyond).

Have you had conversations with these kids? Have you really listened to them? I recently had a conversation with a young woman who is involved in very important work to change systems. She feels that this work is not just her job, and it is more than a vocation. Her commitment is so strong that her whole being shows up for every conversation, every presentation, and every action. She is an example of our youth who take on missions of grand importance

She and I began to explore together what separates her and her passionate work from that of some others. First she recognized that this is her soul-mission work. As we talked further, we recognized that integrity is the key ingredient. Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. I (we) believe that it is the merging of integrity with the mission that makes the work so powerful, so soul-filled.

Everyone has goals in life, work that they do, a sense of a purpose in life. I encourage you to look at your mission and work, as well as the missions/work of those whom you admire. Is it a soul-driven mission? Here are some characteristics, which can be viewed as scaffolding, to help you identify integrity within mission.

THE INTEGRITY OF YOUR MISSION

INTEGRITY OF SELF: Who are you when you do this work? Are you being authentic? Do you bring your whole self to the mission, to the goal, to the assignment? Do you give it all you have while still establishing proper boundaries with others?

INTEGRITY OF MORALS: Take a self-inventory: What are your values, beliefs, and morals? Do you align each aspect of your work with these values and beliefs? Do you make sure that your actions align with your moral compass?

INTEGRITY OF ALLIANCES: Look at the people who require your interactions. How is their integrity? If you believe that they lack integrity it doesn’t mean that you must stop working with them. When possible include people with comparable values on your own team. When you must interact with those with less integrity, note the following: Do you maintain your own moral principles while interacting with these individuals? Or do you feel that the ends justify the means and it’s okay to use the occasional person in order to achieve the mission? Remember the importance of not losing yourself, or your Self.

INTEGRITY OF APPRECIATION / GRATITUDE: Do you demonstrate your gratefulness to each of the people who helps you to achieve your mission regardless of how large or small a part they play? This might be as formal as a thank you card, or as simple as a genuine smile.

INTEGRITY OF MISSION: Perseverance and humility are important characteristics. Look at your involvement with the end goal. It is acceptable for you to receive a benefit from your work, and it’s fine that you enjoy the work that you provide. But it’s important to gauge, “Is it all about me?” or “Is this for the greater good?”

Until the evaluation and the behavior become second nature you might find it beneficial to review your scaffold at the end of each day and at the completion of each task to assess whether you have stayed true to your Self, your integrity, and ultimately your mission.

WHEN YOUR MISSION IS NOT YOUR WORK

Mission is most frequently assumed to be the work that you do. For some of you, your mission is your vocation. For others it is your relationship with the world around you. As example, your mission might be healer. A healer’s vocation could be involvement in animal, plant or human medicine; conventional or integrative; healing the mind, the body or the soul. As a healer you may get paid for your work as a physician, massage therapist, clinical therapist, veterinarian, in an animal sanctuary, etc. When your mission is not your vocation, but your mission is still healer, you may be an accountant, or a store clerk, or not working at all. You could even be homeless and struggling for resources. But each interaction that you have with another living being is filled with light and love, and the individual that you have just been with walks away feeling uplifted.

TAKING IT DEEPER

WALK THROUGH LIFE WITH AN OPEN HEART: Think about those times (not necessarily work related) when everything has felt in alignment. One of the hallmarks of this moment was that your heart was fully open and you were fully engaged with All That Is. Not sure when this occurs? Think about the times when you have been in nature, observing a fabulous sunset, or loving your child or pet. This moment is what it feels like when you are connected with your soul. For some of you this process is less about connecting with others, and more about opening to yourself.

ALIGN YOUR OUTER LIFE WITH YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF: Live all aspects of your life the same way you live your soul-filled mission: in integrity with your Self and your values.

One’s integrity and one’s mission are not just about the paycheck. Look deeper. Are you seeking authenticity? Are you hoping to live your soul’s mission? Consider using the scaffold above to bring integrity to everything you do. Live a soul-filled life.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

If you have been reading my articles, you already know the terms Indigo, Crystal and Star Children. These children (and adults) whose traits include being wise, intuitive and caring, often seem like old souls. I also recognize their growing multi-dimensional qualities. They know the importance of peace, love, acceptance, and unity for all beings – human and otherwise – and for Earth herself.

Being multi-dimensional means being aware of dimensions that many others are not yet aware. One dimension that is recognized is the energy within and around us. Perceiving this energy as thought, images or sounds, and accessing information from your inner and outer environment, including across time and space, brings a wider range of knowledge.

What happens if you are one-dimensional, with minimal to no awareness of the additional information, or even its availability, and your child or student is multi-dimensional? I’m noting in my practice that these children realize that they can access more knowledge and subconsciously believe they must take care of their parent, constantly monitoring the adult’s comfort levels and feeling immense responsibility for the well-being of their parent. This is not a healthy situation for the child, the parent, or the relationship.

Does your child act like he or she needs to take care of you? This pattern can be changed.  

I have had the privilege of counseling children and pre-teens that attend sessions with their parents. I have observed when the child knows s/he accesses more information than the parent, and so believes that s/he knows more. While this may be true in regards to multi-dimensional information and existential knowledge, it is important for these families to remember and discuss together that parents still have the benefit of “years on Earth”. This means that the parent has very important information for the multi-dimensional children in regard to day-to-day life skills. Please remember parents and teachers: though you are working with incredibly smart individuals, multi-dimensional children are not mini-adults. Similar to gifted children whose knowledge base is above age level, their emotional and age-related skills are not as developed. Children must be children.

Explain to your multi-dimensional child that you can take care of yourself. Here’s an example of this conversation: (Incidentally, these are not non-verbal children, but they don’t have familiarity with words for these types of dialogues, so they primarily respond with facial and body language.)

Judy: I notice how you keep checking on Mom to be sure that she is doing okay.

Child: (nods yes)

J: You know you and I often talk about things that your mom doesn’t seem to understand.

C: (nods)

J: That’s okay. Your mom has information about other things.

C: (looks at me questioningly)

J: There are so many things happening with friends and school and stuff that you really don’t understand. Right?

C: (nods yes emphatically)

J: These are things that I know about, but so do your mom and dad, and your teachers, and other adults. Trust them, just like you trust me.

C: (understands)

J: There are many things that you know about that the adults don’t yet, and there will be times for you to explain it to us. There are also many things that we know about and you don’t. This is our job. And it’s all okay. Here’s another really important thing: Mom’s job is to take care of herself, not you taking care of Mom.

C: (looks over at mom with deep eyes that question if this will work)

Parent: (confidently looks back) Yes, I can take care of myself. You don’t need to do this.

J: Shall we begin to let this change happen? Won’t it feel good?

C: (Nods emphatically)

Periodically the child may look back to check on mom, but I recognize it as it occurs and assure them mom is okay. Mom confirms. Later I point out when the child does not check so I can reinforce that behavior.

Though your child has multi-dimensional awareness, s/he will often require explicit instruction to understand how to navigate social and other situations. Teachers and parents can appropriately guide multi-dimensional children while still acknowledging their gifts.

It is imperative that we learn to recognize the gifts that both groups – one-dimensional and multi-dimensional – can impart to the other, and to the whole. The multi-dimensional share the big picture, remind us of what’s true, and show us what we as individuals and society can attain. In turn, those who are single-dimensional can provide loving, protective support for the multi-dimensional to develop their natural gifts and to provide social skills for the world that they are trying to navigate.

We have an opportunity to listen to those who live multi-dimensionally and learn what they can offer to us now, and for our future. Especially when they are in adulthood, it is likely that those with multi-dimensional abilities will guide us to never-before thinking that can deliver us from many of our current problems, and into a world of peace, love and oneness.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Our intuition is always there, always reading the situation, always trying to steer us the right way. ~ Arianna Huffington

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I’ve known about my sixth-sense for some time. I first heard the term six-sensory from author and spiritual teacher, Sonia Choquette. Being a six-sensory means that you process your world with more than the conventional five senses (visual, auditory, touch, taste, smell).

Your sixth sense is your gut instinct. It’s natural, normal and everyone has it. The parental version of sixth sense awareness happens when children first venture away from parents: When you get there, if something doesn’t feel right I want you to call me or leave right away. Others talk about business relationships and opportunities: I just knew from the start that this was not a good person/idea, but I didn’t listen to my gut and I got burned. Think about the varied ways that your sixth sense has been involved in your life.

Now that we have established that you have a sixth sense, the question is: Do you listen to yours or have you ignored your inner voice?

Choquette believes that “your sixth sense should be your first sense”. Author Sophy Burnham (The Art of Intuition) says it’s the subtle knowing without ever having any idea why you know it. If you are ready to embrace your six-sensory self, there are ways to develop, and learn to hear, your inner voice / gut instinct / intuition: 

RECOGNITION – It is already communicating with you, but your mind’s chatter hides it. Busy minds and activities make intuition difficult to receive.

SOLITUDE AND CREATIVITY allow you the opportunity to reconnect with yourself, so strive to regularly build them into your schedule.

MINDFULNESS – Silent meditation is the most common, but you can be mindful during chores, exercise or any other activity. Focus your mind on each aspect or movement of the activity to quiet the chatter.

BREATHWORK – In your mind’s eye watch the movement of your chest and abdomen as it moves away from your spine on the inhale and then back inward on the exhale. This also helps to focus the mind and still your thoughts.

RECEPTION – You may ‘hear’ the message, see symbols or visual pictures, feel sensations or emotions in your body, or have a vague yet clear ‘knowing’. It may seem like a subtle whisper or a powerful download.

WRITE/DRAW – Relax your mind, close your eyes if you wish and write or type whatever comes to mind. You can similarly draw in a free association manner.

DREAMS – Dreams and intuition both come from the unconscious. If you remember your dreams, they can become a source of information. Begin each night with a request for information about a specific question. When you awaken, write in your journal everything that you can recall about that dream as well as your questions and recent life events. Review your journal regularly looking for symbols and patterns.

DISTINGUISH the difference between mind chatter and your inner voice. As you practice you will likely notice that your inner voice speaks clearly, concisely, gently and without judgment. These are not the typical descriptions of your inner chatter.

MAKING A DECISION? Imagine a path or a doorway for each of the choices that you face. As you approach each: feel for density, heaviness, thickness; observe the visual cues of light, dark, color, sparkles; look for excitement, dread, fear, approachability, resistance, expansion.

PRACTICE will allow you to trust your inner voice/instinct/intuition. Begin with small questions that don’t feel life altering, such as, which route should I travel to my destination today?

EMPATHY – Your empathic abilities are a gift. You don’t require the fullest amount of input to have the knowledge. Instead, modulate the amount of information that comes in to you. Use intention as well as the techniques described in Energy Cleansing.

TRUST your intuition and allow it to become a more significant part of your daily life!

Living life as a six-sensory is beneficial because all of your senses are more attuned to give you the fullest information. This allows you to see the many options that are available, to know when to proceed and when to withdraw, in relationships and professionally, and to ultimately recognize and live your life’s purpose.

When you are connected to your inner wisdom you can experience a deep, strong connection to your true Self. This provides a calm and confident power, fewer emotional triggers and less anxiety or depression. Living a six-sensory life is a profoundly empowering experience.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Are you, or is your loved one, a Six-Sensory?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Sensitives come in all ages, sizes, races and faiths. They can look like everyone else, and yet stand out by being empathic, compassionate, creative people. Sometimes they are at peace with these gifts, but for others it creates inner turmoil and can lead to minor or significant difficulties.

To additionally complicate the situation, some Sensitives have anxieties and/or ADHD and may even be on the Autism Spectrum. They often love nature and animals. They tend to seem older than their years, or may be characterized as ‘old souls’. They are often right-brain thinkers who are creative and artistic. They are deep thinkers and tend to be bright. In school or the workplace, they may be unsuccessful or seem unmotivated because of the mismatch between their learning style and the system.

Sensitives may be argumentative and headstrong. They are frustrated with our society because they came into the world knowing how things should be in our institutions, systems and relationships. Yet as children they don’t have the power to create this change. Their ability to comprehend their world may be great, but their ability to cope with this awareness is compromised because they have neither the life experience nor the emotional maturation to handle what they know.

Sensitives may feel misplaced and alone. They frequently verbalize their dislike for (or discomfort with) their school, peers, and/or community. Their belief is that few individuals truly understand them and think as they do. Their feelings of personal isolation and different-ness can lead to anxiety and depression, then be exacerbated by the “negative emotions” they absorb while in the presence of others.

Sensitives are often referred to as Six-Sensory Beings because of their heightened awareness of the six senses, sometimes in varying amounts:

• Touch: The individual complains about irritating fabric, embroidery, tags or the sensation of water on the skin. Some are uncomfortable being touched by others.
• Hearing: This individual hears everything (other than directions to clean their room or put out the garbage). Certain tones can be distracting or even distressing. I had a student who was bothered by the classroom TV’s high-pitched sound. In a noisy classroom or environment the individual can have difficulty distinguishing a specific voice in the midst of others, or might feel the need to tune everything out. 
• Taste: Flavors or textures can limit the types of foods eaten.
• Smell: Sensitivity to chemicals or fragrances.
• Seeing: These individuals will take in their entire visual surroundings and notice all the details.
• Sixth sense: Intuition and the awareness of others’ energies and emotions. Sensitives don’t necessarily realize that they are sensing the emotions of others. In fact, their anxiety, anger or sadness might be coming from people in their surroundings.

Understanding the Sensitives in your life allows you to avoid focusing on what seemed to be undesirable traits and provides the opportunity for empathy and acceptance for yourself and others. Here are ways to support these individuals:

• Teach them that being different is not bad.
• Allow them to verbalize their experiences.
• Keep your own energy and emotions calm when communicating, especially when offering criticism or suggestions.
• Focus on their gifts: compassion, empathy, creativity, intelligence, rather than any challenging behaviors.
• Help them realize that they may be affected by the moods of family, peers or even people that they don’t know who are nearby.
• Provide structure and familiar routines.
• Encourage breath-work and relaxation.
• Teach grounding techniques for anxiety, agitation or hyperactivity: Sit or stand with your feet on the ground. Imagine the trunk (torso) of your body is the trunk of the tree. Feel the strength of the tree move down through your legs and feet (the roots), anchoring you into earth.
• Use your own energetic skills to clear the negative energies from physical spaces (more about this in a future article).
• Find a mentor or counselor who understands Sensitives’ six-sensory experiences and who can teach them how to set verbal, physical and energetic boundaries and to recognize their inherent gifts.
• Continue to educate yourself about Highly Sensitive People, Indigo Children and Crystal Children.

I believe Sensitives will help us to create a peaceful world that promotes and maintains ecological and social responsibility. We who are Sensitives and we who understand Sensitives have an extraordinary opportunity to parent and mentor these Six-Sensories to achieve their destiny. I hold the Sensitives in my life (and yours) in love and light. May we all know and attain our highest purpose. 

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

A unique and evolving vocabulary to describe an increasing number of children

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

During my years working in the schools and in my private practice, I have met many Indigos. I find them to be wise, intuitive, caring, and curious and they often have a “spark” – which seems to challenge the existing educational and societal constructs.

Many students who have been diagnosed with ADHD are Indigos. It’s as if the characteristics that define one, describe the other: out–of–the–box, right-brained and otherwise unconventional learner, and global thinker.

In addition to the previous descriptors, Indigos are often described as old souls. They may be immature, yet older than their years. They like animals and nature. They might seem to have low self-esteem while simultaneously acting grandiose. The rebellious spirit of the Indigo seems to say: I know I’m here for a purpose. I know that the way we treat each other and our Earth is supposed to change. I’m tired of waiting. Let’s get on with it!

Indigo children are described as being born in 1978 or later, yet many born prior to 1978 will see themselves in the Indigo descriptors. Authors Nancy Ann Tappe, Lee Carroll and Jan Tober have written about Indigo children. Doreen Virtue, in her book The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children, offers a complete list of characteristics.

At the time of their identification, Indigo Children were not as common as they are now. Over the years I have encountered many more of these students. The qualities of Indigos also seem to be changing, evolving if you will. Doreen Virtue identified this next group as Crystal Children. They have all the same qualities as the Indigos, but they don’t have the rebellious spark and vigor. They personify the empathic spirit of the Indigos. It’s as if they exude love and are spreading compassion and acceptance.

Incidentally, no group is considered “better” than another. They may be variations or maybe each group has a purpose. It seems that Indigos had to jumpstart change. Most people are not keen on changing and systems can even be slower. So Indigos needed a kick-butt attitude to get us moving.

Just as Indigos increased in numbers, Crystals are also increasing in numbers. I have considered the possibility that many children with autism are Crystal Children. Is the growing number of children with autism indicative of the increase of Crystal Children? While children with autism are hypersensitive, not all Sensitives, nor all Crystals, have autism. As I explained in Sensitive Children, Sensitives are interconnected with others on an empathic and energetic level, though they are often challenged to connect with others socially. I have heard many parents of children with autism tell of their child’s psychic knowing about family, friends or others. Parents also often describe their children with autism as being filled with love.

Another group are Rainbow Children. They are similar to Crystals, but according to Doreen Virtue they don’t have the karmic ‘baggage’ of past lives. Baggage refers to unresolved issues as a result of our life experiences. Karmic baggage is the idea that a person has unresolved issues that have carried forward from other lifetimes. Students of metaphysics hold the belief that these experiences from past lives can subconsciously affect us in the present.

Indigos, Crystals, Rainbows, Lightworkers, Sensitives, Six-Sensories, Star Children. Regardless of the name, they/we are living these concepts: We are all interconnected. We are each more than a member of the family of Earth, or even the Universe. We are multidimensional beings.

I strive to help these individuals, their families and educators realize that though they don’t always excel in the way that society expects – academically, socially, etc, they have gifts and are worthy. Regardless of age, as I work with these individuals I help them to:

• Understand and accept their sensitivities, empathy and intuition
• Develop self-confidence and be empowered
• Establish personal and energetic boundaries
• Minimize their sensitivities, fears and the effects of anxiety
• Remember that they are spiritual beings having a human experience

I hold the Indigo, Crystal, Rainbow and Star Children in your life in light and love. May we all recognize our purpose and live our lives to their fullest potential.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Published in Metro You Magazine, June 2012

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

As I grew up, there was no recognition or understanding of Sensitives. I knew I was anxious and I always felt different, seemingly living on the sidelines of the life that my peers appeared to live. It wasn’t until adulthood that I understood: I am a Sensitive. I believe that this is true of many of today’s young adults, and most of your children, too. And it’s wonderful. I now feel blessed for having these qualities and appreciative to be able to support and guide others in their understanding and acceptance of who they are, of this way of being.

One approach to understand Sensitives is to examine the six senses. In fact, Sensitives, who are often called Indigos or Crystals, are often referred to as Six-Sensory Beings.

Touch: Complaints about irritating fabric or embroidery, or the sensation of water on the skin. When the touch of another person is uncomfortable or intolerable, consider a firmer touch. Occupational therapists often prescribe skin brushing and weighted vests.
Hearing: This child hears everything (other than directions to clean their room or put out the garbage). Certain tones can be distracting or even distressing. I had a student who couldn’t concentrate in a classroom because of a loud fan. Another student was distracted by the classroom TV’s high-pitched sound. Oh, and that noisy classroom? A sensitive child can have difficulty distinguishing a specific sound in the midst of others, or might even tune everything out.
Taste: Flavors or texture limit the foods eaten
Smell: Sensitivity to chemicals or fragrances
Seeing: They notice the smallest details and are compelled to ‘take it all in’. (But I don’t suggest that these individuals be placed in sterile environments.)
Sixth sense: The awareness of others’ emotions and moods. Sensitives don’t realize that they are sensing the emotions of others. Their anxiety, anger or sadness might be coming from surrounding people. They can ask, “Is this mine?” to help identify if it is their own emotion.

Sensitives frequently have anxieties and/or ADHD and may even be on the Autism Spectrum. They often have a love for nature and animals. They tend to seem older than their years, or may be characterized as old souls. They are often right-brain thinkers who are creative and artistic. They are deep thinkers and tend to be bright. In school they may be unsuccessful or unmotivated because of the mismatch between their learning style and the style of the teacher or the educational system.

Many Sensitives are argumentative and headstrong: They are frustrated with our society because they came into the world knowing how things should be—in institutions, systems and relationships. Yet as children, they don’t have the power to create this change. Their ability to understand their world may be greater than other’s their age, but their ability to cope with this awareness is compromised because they have neither the life experience nor the emotional maturation to handle what they know.

Sensitives may feel misplaced and alone. They frequently verbalize their dislike for (or discomfort with) their school, peers, and/or community. They describe themselves as having few friends–or few individuals who truly understand them and think as they do. These perceptions can also lead to anxiety and depression.

Sensitives may verbalize or behave in a manner that lets others know that they do not like being in large groups. They are empathic and intuitive and unknowingly feel and absorb the emotions of those around them. They are already experiencing discomfort due to their feelings of personal isolation and different-ness, but much of their anxiety and depression is a result of the “negative emotions” they absorb while in the presence of others. The source of their anxiety and depression may not always be from within, or the intensity of their emotions is not theirs.

Sensitives may sense the unexpressed conflicts and emotions of their parents, siblings, extended families, peers – everyone! Again, they do not understand this sensitivity and the sponge-quality of their knowing. But they are acutely aware of the conflicts and emotions, and it makes them feel uncomfortable. But again, this is usually at a subconscious level. They know that they feel “bad” when in the presence of their family or groups and wish to avoid the unpleasantness.  They are responding to the body language of the individual, to their words and tone, and to the unexpressed energetic message – all things that others think are being suppressed. Their discomfort is real! Thus they may isolate themselves from others.

You can support the Sensitives (adults and children) in your life:

• Six-sensories who don’t understand, often feel scared and overwhelmed
• Teach them different is not bad; their gifts (intuition, empathy, etc) are not crazy
• Allow them to verbalize their experiences
• Keep your own energy and emotions calm when communicating (especially when offering criticism or suggestions)
• Focus on their gifts: compassion, empathy, creativity, intelligence; rather than challenging behaviors
• Help them realize they may be affected by the moods of others: family, other students, people in malls, etc
• Provide structure and familiar routines
• Stay present:
  Breath – be the observer of the breath, and the mind calms. Say: Take a slow, gentle breath in; as you do, watch how your chest and abdomen (tummy) move out; as you exhale (breathe out), see how your chest and abdomen move back inward once again. Take a few more breaths, just watching the movement.
  Relaxation –When the body is tense, the shoulders rise up and the chest can’t breathe as fully; so you breathe faster. The mind interprets this as anxiety, making the situation worse. Say this: Close your eyes and say in your mind what I say out loud. I relax my toes and feet. I relax my ankles and calves. I relax my knees and thighs. I relax my hips and waist. With my next breath I breathe this relaxation into my back. I relax my lower back, middle back, upper back. I relax my shoulders away from my ears. I relax my neck, jaw, chin, tongue, cheeks, nose, eyes, forehead and temples. I’m fully relaxed from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Breathe in peace and exhale tension. This is an excellent technique to fall asleep at night. (If you are interested, I have a professionally recorded relaxation CD available on my website.)
• Teach grounding techniques (often more beneficial than meditation for Sensitives): “Tree” – Sit or stand with your feet on the ground. Imagine the trunk (torso) of your body is the trunk of the tree. Feel the strength of the tree move down through your legs and feet (the roots), anchoring you into earth. This is a great technique when someone is anxious, agitated or experiencing hyperactivity.
• Use your own energetic skills to clear the negative energies from physical spaces
• Find a mentor or counselor who understands Sensitives to learn how to manage the sensitivities, deal with the experiences and recognize their inherent gifts
• Continue to educate yourself about Highly Sensitive People, Indigo Children and Crystal Children

I believe Sensitives are the seeds of the future that we strive for—a peaceful world that promotes and maintains ecological and social responsibility. We – the Sensitives who have come before – have an extraordinary opportunity to parent and mentor Six-Sensories to achieve their destiny. I hold the Sensitives in my life (and yours) in love and light. May we all know and attain our highest purpose.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Published in Bamboo Magazine, January 2012

“I don’t like this shirt; it picks me.”
“I don’t want to wear socks.”
“That is tooooo loud.”
“I won’t eat THAT.”

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

These comments can be humorous or exasperating, but I no longer view them as the problem behavior of a picky child. These children are sensitive. And while many of these sensitive children acquire labels – anxious, ADHD, Aspergers, or autistic – these are only labels. I don’t believe your child has a problem, though at times the behaviors can be challenging.

If you are wondering if your child’s behaviors are indicators of being highly sensitive and want to understand your child better, you can examine the five senses.

Touch: This is the most common. Children complain about scratchy fabric, embroidery that irritates the skin, shoes and socks, or the sensation of water on the skin. Some children find the touch of another person to be uncomfortable or intolerable. When this is the case, use a firmer touch. Occupational therapists might prescribe skin brushing and weighted vests for extreme cases.

Hearing: This child hears everything (other than directions to clean their room or put out the garbage). Certain tones can be distracting or distressing. I had a student who couldn’t concentrate in a classroom because of a loud fan. Another student was distracted when the TV in the classroom was on. Though the picture was off, it emitted a high-pitched sound. The student heard this above the other classroom sounds. Oh, and that noisy classroom? A sensitive child can have difficulty distinguishing a specific sound in the midst of others, and may even tune everything out.

Taste: There are some children who only eat certain foods. Many are choosy about the flavor, consistency or texture of the food.

Smell: This is the least known. But if you ask your sensitive child questions they will acknowledge smelling things that others don’t, or being irritated by certain smells.

Seeing: The highly sensitive child tends to see everything. They notice the smallest details and feel compelled to take it all in. Once they are familiar with a room they are less distracted by the visual stimulation.

There is also the sixth sense. It tends to be the most overlooked. This is the awareness of others’ emotions and moods and helps us to be empathic and intuitive. The sensitive child doesn’t realize that they are sensing the emotions of others. Teach your child to realize that the anxiety, anger or sadness that they feel might be coming from the people around them. Help your child understand this concept and teach them to then ask, “Is this mine?” to help them identify if it is their own emotion.

It is important to realize that being highly sensitive is not just experienced by children. Many adults also have these traits. As the parent of a highly sensitive child, it is likely that you also have some of these characteristics (though probably not as intense or as many). You have a wonderful opportunity to educate your child and to model acceptance and ease.

There are many things that you can do to help your sensitive child:

• Educate yourself about your own sensitive nature.
• Don’t focus on your child’s challenging behaviors.
• Provide structure and familiar routines.
• Keep your own energy and emotions calm when communicating with your child (especially when giving corrections).
• Recognize your child’s compassion, empathy, creativity, and intelligence.
• Accept your child and appreciate his/her gifts.
• Explain to your child that these gifts help us to become a society of loving, compassionate, accepting people.
• Help your child to realize that they may be affected by the moods of others: family members, students in class, people in malls, etc.
• Understand that this experience can be overwhelming for your child.
• Learn more by reading about Highly Sensitive People, Indigo Children and Crystal Children.
• Find a mentor or counselor who understands sensitive children so that your child can learn how to minimize the sensitivities, deal with the experiences and recognize their inherent gifts with ease.

Being a sensitive is a challenge as well as a beautiful gift. You can help your child to be the full expression of who they really are!

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Published in Metro You Magazine, May 2011

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I’ve been an educator for 25 years. I believe I’ve always been drawn to the children that we now call Indigo. What’s an Indigo child? There are several books with information regarding this group. Doreen Virtue in her book, The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children, describes them as having a birth date (typically) after 1978. She lists nearly 20 characteristics, many of which are the qualities that I use for identification.

As a special educator and educational strategist, I usually meet these children because they do not like school and don’t find themselves prone to academic excellence, but this is not the case for all Indigos.

Indigos do tend to have the following qualities:

• They seem older than their years in many ways (though some may also seem immature).
• They are described as ‘sensitive’ (especially the boys).
• They often have anxieties.
• They are self-aware.
• They are frustrated with their outside world because they know how things should be—in institutions, systems and relationships.
• They are frequently diagnosed with, or have the characteristics of, Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorder.
• They are often artistic (music, visual, creative arts).
• Many are unsuccessful, unmotivated students because of the mismatch of their learning style to the teacher’s style.

Additionally, they feel alone and misplaced. They frequently verbalize their dislike for (or discomfort with) their school, peers, and/or community. They describe themselves as having few friends–or few individuals who truly understand them and think as they do. They are deep thinkers and tend to be bright. Their ability to understand their world may be greater than other’s their age, but their ability to cope with this awareness is compromised because they have neither the life experience nor the emotional maturation to handle what they know. These characteristics often lead to anxiety and depression.

Though many adolescents will attend concerts, and even mosh pits, they often verbalize that they do not like being in large groups. They do not usually understand why, but they know that they wish to avoid environments that include large numbers of people. Indigos don’t understand their inherent sensitivity. They are intuitive and pick up the emotions of those around them. But they don’t realize this. They are prone to anxiety and feelings of sadness due to their discomfort with their environment and their feelings of personal isolation. But much of their anxiety and depression is because they absorb “negative emotions” while in the presence of others. The source of their anxiety and depression may not always be from within, or the intensity of their emotions is not theirs. It is actually their ability to sense the emotions of others who are in their proximity.

The ability of the Indigo to absorb the emotions around them, leads to special difficulties during family functions. Harville Hendrix (relationship therapist and author of Getting the Love You Want) says that we choose our life partners (and frequently other significant people in our lives) so that we can heal our wounded-ness that we experienced in the relationships that we had with our significant caretakers. Indigo children sense the unexpressed conflicts and the unexpressed emotions of their parents, siblings and extended families. Again, they do not understand this sensitivity and the sponge-quality of their emotions. But they are acutely aware of the family conflicts and emotions and it makes them very uncomfortable. Indigos are usually only aware of all this at a subconscious level. They know that they feel “bad” when in the presence of their family or groups.  They are responding at least as much to the body language of the individual as to their words and tone. Their discomfort is real! Thus they avoid and will frequently choose to isolate themselves from others, desiring to avoid family functions, “family time” or parent-child conversations, especially when the reward isn’t greater than the discomfort.

Sometimes these children think they are crazy because they perceive the world so differently than their peers and even other family members. I’ve found many to be intuitive with psychic abilities. Some have told me that they can see auras, that they have had precognition, and some describe seeing ‘people’ in their rooms, or faces coming out of their posters. (And I don’t believe they are hallucinating.) I am pleased that many of these children are aware that these abilities are ‘okay’ and some even find them exciting. But many others have not had the mentors to explain these perceptions and are terrified that they are nuts.

As you can see, many Indigo children are having a very difficult time on Earth. Supporting these children is imperative. I believe they are the seeds of our future; the future that we all strive for—a peaceful world that promotes and will maintain ecological and social responsibility. They know how to get us there. It is our responsibility to assist them through childhood and adolescence so that they can be healthy, productive adult citizens. Here are a few ideas for supporting Indigo children (whether they are in your family, classroom or live on your block):

• Teach them that they are ‘okay’ and help them to realize that they’re not crazy.
• Help them to recognize their uncomfortable emotions and experiences so they can bring them to a verbal level.
• Assist them in finding people they can trust to discuss their perceptions (emotional, extra-sensory, etc)
• Help them to learn relaxation techniques
• Teach them grounding techniques (possibly more beneficial than meditation for this population)

Many Indigos have a very difficult time in childhood and in education. They need to understand that as they grow closer to adulthood they will have opportunities to put their ideas for our society into action. Our job is to support their education and their mental health so they will be able to pursue their vision. Understand the Indigos in your life. Yes, they are willful and short-tempered, but it’s due to personal frustration and impatience with our world. They know at a deep level that they are responding to a much larger call than our requests of  “do your homework” or “put out the garbage”. Reframe in your mind why they act as they do, and try the suggestions listed above to reframe their world for them.

I hold the Indigos in my life (and yours) in love and light. May they know and attain their purpose. May they reach this in peace and follow the gentlest paths that precede them.

Please also read the article on Sensitive Children for additional information about Indigo and Crystal Children.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.