By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

One of the things that really concerns me right now is how fraught with fear we are becoming. Fear has always been a prominent emotion. After all, our nervous system is wired to look for cues of danger.

For most of us, our ability to rise above this tendency, as well as our resiliency, are reduced. I write this so that we can each be reminded of the importance to keep our nervous systems as calm as possible, even during these incredibly challenging times. Regardless of our faith or ethnicity we have had difficult histories – some more challenging, some during certain times. Even though we did not live through those histories personally, we are affected. This is referred to as ancestral, or generational, trauma. We carry these traumas and wounds within us in addition to the intuitive need to look for danger. No wonder we have such a tendency to be anxious, worried and even fearful.

The current world events are frightening. Yet, we cannot respond most effectively if we do not stay grounded and calm. (Looking for proof of this concept? As examples, reflect on surgeons in the operating room who encounter a medical crisis, or the pilot Sully Sullenberger who landed his plane safely on the Hudson River. If they had responded in panic, the outcome would not likely have been successful.)

I’m not going to pretend that it’s easy to calm our panicked nervous systems, but I do encourage you to continue to learn ways to do so. Each time you practice a technique, you are reinforcing your parasympathetic system’s ability to calm yourself down, and each time that offers the potential for it to be a little easier the next time.

Why should you do this practice? Well, it’s really hard on the body to be in fight and flight for long periods of time. Also, it feels really awful!!!

And here is another important reason: The opposite of love is not hate, the opposite of love is fear. When we are in fear, it is very difficult to feel safe enough to open our hearts to adequately connect with others, and this includes our closest loved ones; and that is not a good thing.

An important aspect of what makes our nervous system feel safe is the act of feeling connected to others. We are actually wired for connection in order to feel safe. It’s knowing that we can reach out and the other will be there for us. If we are in fear we are less able to reach out and to achieve that. This makes us more fearful, and also makes us less available to connect with others with whom we may not have familiarity.

As a result, we see the world as me versus you and us versus them. This experience of separateness and polarization breeds contempt, resentment, hostility, and more fear. And the cycle goes on and on.

Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” You may only feel like one person, and wonder how you can really make a difference, but it is important to remember that you are not really the singleton that you think you are. There are many of us who believe in peace and love [with just a side-note that way before Marianne Williamson even thought there might be a time that she would run for president, as a spiritual teacher she taught that “sometimes the loving response is no”.] Realize that you are not alone in this quest. There are many of us who long for peace and unity, but that message does not (currently) sell advertisements on the news, so it is not broadcast or printed.

Be the peace you wish to see in the world. Start your practices (or delve back in) so that you can calm your nervous system and respond from your more grounded, peaceful place. Your mind and body (and your heart and spirit) will thank you for it. I know that I do (thank you).

Please remember to take care of yourself even while you are taking care of others, personally or professionally. Remember that you must “put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others”.

I thought it might be helpful to remind us all of strategies to help calm our nervous systems as we continue to experience these difficult times, whether that is personally or vicariously.

• Keeping busy is an effective tool for mental distraction (in the short-term), but provide enough quiet time so as to not stress your physical body.
• While it is important to be informed, and even to bear witness to the stories, you only need a small amount of information to achieve that goal. Please turn it off or stop reading when it’s time. (Even before it’s time.)
• Focus on movement, hydration, and healthy nutrition to take care of your physical body.
• Re-visit your creative endeavors.
• Get out in nature.

May we all know peace! Namasté

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

A little over two years ago in March 2020, much of our world came to a screeching halt because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Even during this frightening time many observed clear skies and quiet roads, and soon there was a renewed appreciation for educators, health providers, and the many folks who kept supplies in our stores and provided services to us all. There was gratitude for the efforts we took to stay connected to each other. I even appreciated the unique opportunities to enjoy theater and concerts online. During this time I found myself seeing, and seeking out, even the smallest ways to appreciate what was good around me as I found opportunities to support those who had greater need than myself.

I found that during this time there was a quietness within, and many took advantage. I certainly did. That first summer (and honestly since then as well), I have found myself undergoing massive personal transformations that have led to more subtle changes in my professional work. During this time, I have also witnessed the transformations of so many others: clients, colleagues, strangers, friends, and family. This has been a time for transformation, and it wasn’t just for us personally.

This has been a time of forced change and in that first summer of 2020 we saw the additional challenges of a society undergoing great transformation as racial, religious, gender, and cultural prejudices and bigotry became more apparent to us all, providing the opportunity for systems to be adjusted. New and renewed fears embraced us even as the concerns about COVID-19 continued, creating an increased sense of separation and separateness.

As we learned more about these injustices and inequities, I saw citizens come together for goodness and growth.

Unfortunately over time, this opportunity seemed to be lost because as individuals and as a society we have the tendency to focus on fear and its corresponding hate, judgment, and separation and once again that became the focus for those who try to sell news, products, an idea, or a person.

As this third summer awaits us, we have the promises of easier times together for connecting, enjoying warmer weather, and for working on the many societal and global challenges that are before us. Yet this does not appear to be the focus. Rather, the collective focus is now fatigue instead of transformative opportunity. The collective verbalizes being tired – of waiting, of fear, and of people with differing opinions who are perceived as impinging on their own rights and opportunities.

I know that you are tired. I am too. I never expected to see all these challenges especially since I witnessed so many of this in the 60’s and 70’s and know the stories of my own ancestors and others’ lineages. I thought we were past this. But the truth is, we are not. And my fatigue or frustration only serves as apathy. And apathy will NOT get anything resolved. So, I urge you to join me in waking up and showing up.

Please join me now to take a full breath with a prolonged exhalation to help you, and our collective, to shift away from long-standing ideas, beliefs, and processes.

I urge you to think back and feel back (place your hand on your heart please as you do so) to that time when:

• the world felt quieter.
• you had that deeper recognition of the problems that still are before us, and you were willing to see the possibilities that would lead to societal improvement
• you wanted desperately to help us reach the resulting outcome of these changes
• you believed in the possibilities of who we are (Who We Really Are) as one collective, and not as a group of individuals out for themselves

And as you feel that memory stir in your heart, gut, and soul ask yourself what is needed by you to truly Remember (and Maintain) Who You Really Are so you can dig-in to address these societal and global problems. To minimize future fatigue, be sure to take the time to support yourself. For me it is finding regular time, even during the many possibilities to feel despair and frustration, to return to my heart-space and remember my soul’s purpose. To do this I regularly:

• meditate
• view, or go into, nature
• read or watch inspiring stories
• connect with those who lift me up
• find ways that I can help others

Still, I look for ways to support those people or concerns that I know still need improvement with charitable donations or the offer of my time. And if you are in a personal situation where donations of money, services or time are impossible or unavailable that’s okay. Find every opportunity to share a smile when you see friends, family, or strangers. You can never underestimate the power of connecting with another, with your smile, in appreciation of their presence.

Please take one more purposeful breath with me now to assist this transformational shift and to join your heart with the heart of everyone else who feels as we do. It may take time, but we’ve got this!

Namasté (the light in me acknowledges and honors the light within you).

If you are interested in reading more articles by Judy Lipson on transformation, check out these articles from May 2020 on Opportunities and Resilience, and listen to Transformation: 2020 Vision. 

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

In author Stephen Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, he describes the mindsets of scarcity and abundance.  Abundance is the recognition that there are enough resources and successes for everyone. He contrasted this with the scarcity mindset, which focuses on not having or being enough.

When scarcity is your mindset, you believe there is not enough to go around. Scarcity is founded on the idea that if someone else wins or is successful in a situation, another loses. There is little consideration for the possibility of all parties winning. Scarcity, therefore, often results in destructive and unnecessary competition.

Compare this mindset to those who see life as abundant. Individuals with an abundance mentality are able to celebrate the success of others rather than feel threatened by it. Abundance is the realization that there is always enough and that we need not worry about quantity and opportunity – for ourselves or for others.

You may believe that you live in a mindset of abundance, but it may surprise you to know that you sometimes fall into the scarcity mindset. To determine how well you stay in abundance, look at the small experiences in your life:

• Do you save items to be used later rather than enjoying them now?
• Do you worry that others are ahead of you in life?
• Can you fully applaud the achievements of others, without comparing your own? Or, do you wonder if there will be an opportunity for you to reach others’ achievements?
• Do you focus on what you have, or is your focus on what you lack?
• When you see what is lacking in your life, do you find yourself in Fear?

One belief that creates scarcity thinking is the assumption that we are all separate; but when you realize that we are all one and that there is no difference between us, you can gain a better appreciation for the happiness and accomplishments of others.

An aspect of abundant thinking is recognizing the difficulty that others may have achieving this mindset. Have compassion for those who you perceive as angry or narrow-minded. They are actually filled with fear. Fear and scarcity frequently go hand in hand. Fear fosters the belief that if you have something, you will keep me from having it and you therefore must be the enemy.

The best way to combat your own fear or the fear that others direct toward you is by using its opposite: love. When you demonstrate a loving countenance, people will respond positively to your words, your actions, and your energy. Your loving, unconditional acceptance of them is what helps lead them away from their own fears and scarcity beliefs.

Imagine if all of us focused on the adequacy of our own lives – there would be less competition between individuals or between groups. As I think about this possibility, I wonder, would people still be so divided over politics? Would countries and cultures be at war? Would people of faith accept that there are many other ways to worship? Would families and coworkers engage in petty arguments?

I hope that peaceful coexistence and the abundance mindset will be the norm in my lifetime.  We each hold the possibility to create this reality. Developing an abundance mindset creates optimism and joyful thoughts for ourselves. As we subsequently interact with others, we radiate this positive energy of acceptance and unity. Oneness replaces separateness, promoting societal changes and ultimately greater peace on earth.

Thinking with abundance brings possibilities for peace and acceptance for us all. We change our planet one person at a time, and it begins with ourselves. As you strive to bring more abundance and peace into your life, consider author Doreen Virtue’s affirmation: I accept good graciously into my life; all of my needs are met abundantly for me now and always.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.