By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I find it fascinating how, in my work, certain themes or strategies will appear and then repeat for days or weeks. September, 2022 found me repeatedly talking about the pregnant pause. Let me share an example and see if it resonates with your life journey, as well.

My client could very much sense that a change was coming but had no idea what this next thing was going to be. She could tell that she wanted it and sensed that she needed it to manifest. Why wait? was her inner experience. Because it felt so wonderfully new, good, and necessary, she wanted to experience it right away. Her frustration had her wondering if she was resisting allowing this (assumed) awesome thing to happen. And if so, what was her resistance about?

I understood. In fact, I have had this same experience numerous times. It can be frustrating, and in fact if the individual is not careful, they can jump to an incorrect assumption that they are doing something wrong (or it would be here now).

Another potential error is to “force” what we think is expected. When I belonged to my women’s spiritual group, we used to say this or something better because we realized that we might otherwise inadvertently create a very narrow version of the possibility.

So, I urge my clients to sit in the space between and think of it as the pregnant pause. Men, women, and even those who have never had children, understand that for the most advantageous outcome there needs to be sufficient time for proper development. The same is true of your spiritual path. It needs time for all the pieces to line up properly so that they can indeed manifest. These pieces might include your thoughts, emotions, energy fields, other people, the environment, etc., etc. This is true whether it is for a new job, a move, a spiritual download, or a metaphysical awakening.

You might not be ready to see what is due to emerge —- yet. But if you can be patient and allow the pieces to coalesce in their own time you will likely be delighted with the magnificent outcome. Make peace with the pregnant pause, with that space in-between.

In the world of possibility things are far more expansive than you can imagine. If you try to create the outcome as you think it’s supposed to look, you might stop the process too soon, or cause it to be too narrow in reach. So, give it time. Nurture the experience and the time of waiting. Educate, ready and prepare yourself if you wish, but focus on caring for your mind, body, and spirit. And allow.

Learn to sit patiently so as not to feel the need to control the outcome. Wait…..Wonder…..Allow the light in your eyes to dance with the wonderment of possibility….How magical might this actually be if you allow your Higher Self to determine the outcome? Let’s wait and see.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

This pandemic is getting so difficult for so many! This is really not surprising! It’s been nearly 6 months since many began their sheltering-in-place practices. When the weather got nice, and school was over for “summer vacation”, there was an especially acute longing to get back to life – as we knew it. After all, summer is that glorious time when we travel with our families, by ourselves, or with special friends to escape the harried life of work and home responsibilities. Summer has become equivalent for many of us as the time for escape. But instead of getting the green light to take our escape, we were met with resistance. Some saw the resistance coming from the CDC, or their governmental leaders, while some recognized that this is a result of the impact of the novel coronavirus. Regardless, many see this as a time when one’s desires are being thwarted. And we don’t like that!!

In all my years of talking to people I’ve realized that one’s ability to shift and adapt varies. Actually, I will rephrase that to say one’s willingness to shift and adapt varies! One way to improve your adaptability is through equanimity. I’ve written about it previously, but I want to discuss it again in the context of COVID-19, and all that it is revealing to us socially, politically, environmentally, financially, educationally, medically, etc, etc.

I’d like to invite you to take a few introspective moments and look at “being uncomfortable”. This is not about justification that you have a right to your thought or feeling. We’re going deeper than that. Do you even have an awareness of the discomforting thought, feeling, or action? Or have you been so intent on avoiding the discomfort that you hadn’t even sat with it long enough to recognize it occurring? Identify what drives you, what troubles you, what ultimately makes you uncomfortable. In other words, what have you been avoiding or running from?

• Thoughts: i.e., “I don’t want there to be a pandemic.” “There really isn’t anything to be afraid of or react to.” “People aren’t going to tell me what I can or can’t do.” “I deserve this …… (vacation, experience, etc).” Those are only some of the possible thoughts that may have led to your discomfort. What are yours?
• Feelings: Anger and fear are the main emotions that people discuss. But I encourage you to go deeper. Is there frustration? Grief? Loneliness? Anxiety? Worry? Sadness? A sense of betrayal or injustice? Disappointment? Agitation? Feeling misunderstood? What feeling(s) are you experiencing? And have you been running from them?
• Actions: For some people, this is the easiest route to then access the rest. What action have you been taking that has provided you the opportunity to not have to feel the uncomfortable emotion, or think the uncomfortable thought, that you identified above?  For instance, these are two extreme positions, but do you go into public with no consideration of the CDC recommendations? Do you stay home in your bubble when it is not medically required? What actions might you be taking that provide you an escape to avoid feeling the uncomfortable emotions or thoughts?

Now I would like to invite you to look at all of this a bit differently. Most folks’ experiences have led them to become wired to expect only the status quo, or that which was previously in existence. As a result, you may feel that you should avoid change. Change and discomfort, however, do not equal dangerous! So I encourage you to have a conscious inner conversation to reframe the situation and allow opportunity.

Seeking equanimity can help with this by providing you with a greater sense of peace during the challenging situation. (I think this pandemic qualifies as challenging! Don’t you?!) Equanimity is the acceptance of what is. As I explain to my clients, this type of acceptance doesn’t mean that you shout, “Oh goody! This is awesome. I love it. Bring on more.” No, it’s rather a type of acknowledging that what is … IS … for right now. You might still choose to make the inner changes (like acceptance, forgiveness, empowerment, etc), and/or seek to change the situation that you are not accepting (like racism, mysogeny, various inequalities, etc). Equanimity is the practice of finding the peace within your situation, which will ultimately help you to make the changes that you seek internally and externally, more effectively.

When you can experience equanimity you will find that there is less resistance in your situation. See if you can follow this visual: Imagine that you are looking at a ball. This ball represents the issue at hand – that really icky situation like COVID, or like your uncomfortable thought or feeling that you identified earlier. The situation – the ball – is bad enough. It’s already hard to to deal with. But now if you add resistance, you’ve just put a very large coating around the ball. The ball may now feel twice the size of the original situation. There is no need to add resistance. Remember, the “ball” feels like it’s enough of a hurdle all by itself. So remove the resistance, using equanimity, and allow the uncomfortable feelings to feel more tolerable and more manageable.

I want to address one last thing in this article. I stated in the first paragraph: “…there was an especially acute longing to get back to life – as we knew it”. I’d like to caution you about this concept. Change is normal. It’s part of our own personal development – you are not the same as you were in your childhood or teen years. In fact, approximately each decade of adult aging brings about changes. (You might look up Dr. Levinson’s Seasons of Life Theory to learn more.) Change is also part of society’s development. If you look back at history you see the identification of the industrial and technological revolutions, to name a few. I was alive during the civil rights era, the space race, and women receiving greater rights through feminism. What’s likely unprecedented is for us to live through these many current changes, with the onslaught of informational awareness, and to have so many changes occurring all at once during a global pandemic.

Certainly, our knee-jerk desire is for it all to go away, and to return to what we are used to. But we should not want to return to “normal”! We are understanding and recognizing more and more that what we saw as normal, the status quo, was inferior. We can do better. We deserve better. No one need settle for less.

So I urge you. Take a few minutes (with a trusted friend or professional, if needed) and look within. What have you been hiding from? Bring it to the surface. Look at it. Bring it into accurate perspective. Remove the layers of fear and resistance. Seek equanimity with it and within yourself. Then you will have the ability to make an accurate assessment of what you actually want to change and how to get there.

Take a few minutes and look at the changes that seem to be happening around you. Don’t rush to put things back the way they were, nor to create what you think it should be, because you may not yet know the best outcome for it to be. In Alcoholics Anonymous they understand the following: If you always do what you always did, then you will always get what you always got. These are important times and there’s no need to have a knee-jerk reaction to any of it.

Drop your fear and your anger. Open your heart to self and others. Seek acceptance of what is … as equanimity.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

“Who am I? What am I doing here? How can I make a difference?”

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Do you have a deep yearning to know? You probably first asked this of yourself while in college. During or after the child-rearing years, you may again face this sense of urgency. As you approach retirement, you will once again assess your life experiences and determine if you have really lived your purpose. This can be a life-long search because the journey, and therefore the answer, shifts.

This pursuit seems to take on a more vibrant call for the individuals that I call Sensitives – those who are keenly attuned to the six senses. Even during childhood, Sensitives feel urgency.

Sensitive or not, you probably feel it more prominently now. There is a need to shift our planet toward peace and love. If your direction and purpose still seem mysterious, you can begin to find your way.

SEEK PASSION OVER COMPULSION

When your purpose seems elusive, pay attention to what you pay attention to. The things that make you happy and make your heart sing are often indicative of your passion. It can guide you to knowing who you are and what you want in life.

This is a very different feeling than what is experienced when you play video and computer games. The enjoyment or compulsion of wanting to play is not from passion; gaming is very effective at keeping the brain occupied in order to avoid feelings.

What did you enjoy when you were a child? What types of books did you read? What made you laugh and brought you joy? It’s time to incorporate these playful activities into your adult life once again.

HEAR YOUR HEART AND SPIRIT

What am I most afraid of?

If I knew I would die in 3 months, what would I do??

If fear and money were not a factor…

What I know for sure. (Oprah’s O Magazine)

Using paper or computer, brainstorm the many ways that you can complete one of these phrases in order to identify your passions. Look for the patterns and themes that emerge. If you are feeling resistant, close your eyes and let your breath clear your mind. Most importantly, watch for the surge of emotions. If you experience a mini-cry, note it and keep going. You are getting close. These mini-surges may be direction-finders toward your purpose. When you identify the real deal, its energy will resonate within you.

RECOGNIZE THE ILLUSION OF THE EGO

Wayne Dyer teaches about perceived identity: The ego is an idea that each of us has about ourselves. Letting it become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Instead, learn to recognize your inner reality. Inside is a still voice of wisdom that you have rarely heard or attended to. Dyer calls this your wise guide. Transcend your illusions to find and hear the guidance of your wise self.

OVERCOME RESISTANCE

In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield explains that you will experience resistance when you are moving upward from a lower vibrating level. The resistance is a sign that your wise self has recognized the dream and that you are being drawn to it.

Resistance is thought. You will think that they are your thoughts, but they are the illusion of the ego. Meditation allows you to transcend the illusionary voices so that you can hear your inner voice of wisdom and allow the fear-based thoughts to pass by.

Rather than succumbing to the fear, overcome it. Resistance is a sign that you are ascending toward your goal. Instead of judging yourself negatively, reframe resistance as readiness for the next step and take action.

DON’T DELAY

Don’t believe that something needs fixing before you can achieve. When you were little and naturally moved toward your purpose, others may have blocked you thinking they were helping. Now when you are almost there don’t sabotage yourself.

Your purpose is your calling. It may be your career, a hobby or volunteer work. Don’t limit yourself because you believe that you can only make a difference if you can be one thing or do another. These are limiting beliefs. Don’t underestimate the influence of the cashier who greets you with a warm smile that comes from the depths of her heart. She is no less important than the doctor who saves lives.

Amateurs yield to the resistance that appears as distractions and fear. Instead, think like professionals – play for keeps. Commit! As soon as you do, your Higher Self will provide a tail wind (synchronicities) to make the journey easier.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.