By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

A little over two years ago in March 2020, much of our world came to a screeching halt because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Even during this frightening time many observed clear skies and quiet roads, and soon there was a renewed appreciation for educators, health providers, and the many folks who kept supplies in our stores and provided services to us all. There was gratitude for the efforts we took to stay connected to each other. I even appreciated the unique opportunities to enjoy theater and concerts online. During this time I found myself seeing, and seeking out, even the smallest ways to appreciate what was good around me as I found opportunities to support those who had greater need than myself.

I found that during this time there was a quietness within, and many took advantage. I certainly did. That first summer (and honestly since then as well), I have found myself undergoing massive personal transformations that have led to more subtle changes in my professional work. During this time, I have also witnessed the transformations of so many others: clients, colleagues, strangers, friends, and family. This has been a time for transformation, and it wasn’t just for us personally.

This has been a time of forced change and in that first summer of 2020 we saw the additional challenges of a society undergoing great transformation as racial, religious, gender, and cultural prejudices and bigotry became more apparent to us all, providing the opportunity for systems to be adjusted. New and renewed fears embraced us even as the concerns about COVID-19 continued, creating an increased sense of separation and separateness.

As we learned more about these injustices and inequities, I saw citizens come together for goodness and growth.

Unfortunately over time, this opportunity seemed to be lost because as individuals and as a society we have the tendency to focus on fear and its corresponding hate, judgment, and separation and once again that became the focus for those who try to sell news, products, an idea, or a person.

As this third summer awaits us, we have the promises of easier times together for connecting, enjoying warmer weather, and for working on the many societal and global challenges that are before us. Yet this does not appear to be the focus. Rather, the collective focus is now fatigue instead of transformative opportunity. The collective verbalizes being tired – of waiting, of fear, and of people with differing opinions who are perceived as impinging on their own rights and opportunities.

I know that you are tired. I am too. I never expected to see all these challenges especially since I witnessed so many of this in the 60’s and 70’s and know the stories of my own ancestors and others’ lineages. I thought we were past this. But the truth is, we are not. And my fatigue or frustration only serves as apathy. And apathy will NOT get anything resolved. So, I urge you to join me in waking up and showing up.

Please join me now to take a full breath with a prolonged exhalation to help you, and our collective, to shift away from long-standing ideas, beliefs, and processes.

I urge you to think back and feel back (place your hand on your heart please as you do so) to that time when:

• the world felt quieter.
• you had that deeper recognition of the problems that still are before us, and you were willing to see the possibilities that would lead to societal improvement
• you wanted desperately to help us reach the resulting outcome of these changes
• you believed in the possibilities of who we are (Who We Really Are) as one collective, and not as a group of individuals out for themselves

And as you feel that memory stir in your heart, gut, and soul ask yourself what is needed by you to truly Remember (and Maintain) Who You Really Are so you can dig-in to address these societal and global problems. To minimize future fatigue, be sure to take the time to support yourself. For me it is finding regular time, even during the many possibilities to feel despair and frustration, to return to my heart-space and remember my soul’s purpose. To do this I regularly:

• meditate
• view, or go into, nature
• read or watch inspiring stories
• connect with those who lift me up
• find ways that I can help others

Still, I look for ways to support those people or concerns that I know still need improvement with charitable donations or the offer of my time. And if you are in a personal situation where donations of money, services or time are impossible or unavailable that’s okay. Find every opportunity to share a smile when you see friends, family, or strangers. You can never underestimate the power of connecting with another, with your smile, in appreciation of their presence.

Please take one more purposeful breath with me now to assist this transformational shift and to join your heart with the heart of everyone else who feels as we do. It may take time, but we’ve got this!

Namasté (the light in me acknowledges and honors the light within you).

If you are interested in reading more articles by Judy Lipson on transformation, check out these articles from May 2020 on Opportunities and Resilience, and listen to Transformation: 2020 Vision. 

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC 

It seems that everyone I was talking to, or reading on social media, was focused on the completion of 2020 and the hopefulness for better days! In December, I had a conversation with a client about navigating the unknown. She pointed out to me that there can be a myriad of possibilities of outcomes (that can be viewed through the lens of acceptance, curiosity, and even willingness). At the time I don’t think either of us imagined that we would see such a stark difference of possibilities within the span of two weeks in January.

Like you, I was glued to the news (print and TV) on January 6 when the insurrection at the Capitol in DC occurred. I was frightened not only for all those in Congress on that day, but also of the realization of how our democracy had become so fragile.

There was a lot of news in the next days, but let me jump ahead two weeks to January 20, Inauguration Day. Everything related to the inauguration of President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris filled me with hope:

• Their demeanor
• President Biden’s speech
• The presence of three previous presidents and a vice president, representing BOTH parties
• The outgoing vice president’s participation in the United States’ democratic process of the peaceful transfer of power
• The many entertainers who honored the events
• THAT SPEECH by our youngest poet laureate, Amanda Gorman
• The many firsts: South Asian descent, female, Jewish, Second Gentleman, etc.
• The virtual celebratory inaugural activities that included messages of hope, inclusion, science, caring for each other, and amazing and pertinent lyrics
• Those in attendance following the necessary protocols to minimize the spread of COVID-19
• And the fact that it all occurred safely!

Now let’s talk about the entirety of this time. As I read metaphysical blogs and journals, I am reminded of a concept that I have shared with you in previous articles: In order for us to achieve Oneness and compassion for all, we need to make visible all that is not aligned with those concepts so that those issues can be revealed and addressed. Boy, were they ever revealed on January 6! In those intervening weeks leading to the inauguration, the news shared stories of arrests, the involvement of many individuals of varied social and political significance, and the misinformation and disinformation of the previous years.

As the truths were being revealed, there was a significant contingent of followers who still thought that everything would be dismantled at the inauguration. After the inauguration I read articles quoting tweets and comments on social media that these followers were writing during the event. It was quite fascinating. They still thought that there would be arrests of all the presidents who were present that day. They still believed that violence would reign on the event. As these things didn’t happen their social media messages changed. They were shocked and aghast. They had believed the promises, and they thought the promises were for them. They were frustrated, hurt and angry. They expressed feeling lied to and betrayed, and as I read their responses, I could hear their disorientation.

As I acknowledged their disorientation, I recognized a new possibility, re-orienting! Now is a great opportunity to orient them (back) towards hope, optimism, empathy, compassion, Oneness, and the Light. If this is of interest to you, and you know some of these previously disillusioned folks (a family member, colleague, neighbor, etc.), I encourage you to read the blogs of author, social science researcher, and empathy pioneer Karla McLaren. She has been writing specifically about cults – how they happen, how to support your loved ones who have gotten hooked, and how to potentially bring them out.  Everything that I read, and even stories on the news tell of the importance of trying to stay in contact with these folks so there is less likelihood of them being drawn back to their previous group, or into a variance of what they currently seem willing to leave. Maybe we can help them to see hope in a different type of outcome.

For guidance in this process read the aforementioned blogs by Karla McLaren and watch this four minute video with Dr. Dennis Tirch, founder of The Center for Compassion Focused Therapy. He explains that “compassion is the sensitivity to the presence of suffering and the willingness to do something about it”. He additionally suggests the following belief: “I wish for their suffering to cease and I wish for the suffering that they are causing to cease.” He goes on to point out that there is nurturing compassion and there is also strong, protective compassion.

I believe in Hope! It was so lovely to feel hope on Inauguration Day. As I watched the last event on Wednesday evening, and saw our new leaders at the Lincoln Memorial looking out toward the Washington Monument with fireworks illuminating the sky, I breathed in the day’s events and felt relief and hope wash over me. I openly cried tears of relief and spoke aloud, “It’s been a really long four years!!!” You may have felt similarly.

During my life I have fought against all kinds of prejudice, bullying and inequities. In these last years they were not only visible but supported. I’m glad that those who tried to take down our democracy no longer have representation in our highest office, but this mindset is still in our government and they are in our midst. So now though I feel hopeful, I will be mindful to not become complacent.

I will BE hopeful AND vigilant.
I will BE hopeful AND insist on respectable behavior in my presence.
I will BE hopeful AND have my own voice and actions stand for integrity, authenticity, and compassion for all.

How about you? What will you BE?

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

We all judge; and have our opinions on how things should be and how people should act. We get turned off if somebody acts in a way that doesn’t live up to the way we want things to be. At the end of the day we are all different and it comes down to unconditional love and acceptance. ~ Lenny Kravitz

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

There have been many great leaders urging us to accept each other as equals. The foremost leaders for my generation were President John F Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. President Kennedy said, “If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity”. Martin Luther King Jr’s: “I have a dream that my four children…will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character” is still revered.

We call the United States the melting pot, yet we have been striving for more than two centuries to fully accept our diverse members. Our Declaration of Independence states that all men are created equal with the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Our Constitution was written to support these inalienable rights. Yet it took a Civil War and the Emancipation Proclamation before African Americans had the right to live freely, and an additional 50 years before the 19th Amendment allowed women to vote. And still there are groups that don’t have equal rights, so the conversations continue. 

Some of our identities, like ethnicity, are handed down through generations. Other identities are ours to experience alone, and we especially feel the need for acceptance by society, family and self. If any of the three aren’t present there is a tendency to become fearful of isolation and disconnection. Fear is a powerful emotion and can lead to anger, despair and even self-loathing.

FOSTER ACCEPTANCE OF SELF:

• While you strive to be the best you can be, resist comparing yourself to others.

• Look within at the perfection of your inner being to find and then appreciate your true self.

• To avoid feelings of isolation seek those who most resemble you. You may need several different groups of people to accomplish this.

A diverse society allows us to see and understand those who don’t appear to be like us. It doesn’t require agreeing with the other or their beliefs. Rather, acceptance suggests that we look at another without fear. And avoid False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.). Fear occurs when a person thinks that their way of existence might be threatened, and this often leads to non-acceptance, prejudice or discrimination.

Acceptance provides more than peaceful co-existence. When you accept another for who they are and allow them to be authentic, you experience a relaxed internal experience. In contrast, fear carries a lot of weight and negative energy.

The goal is to move beyond simple tolerance to celebrating the rich dimensions and differences contained within each individual and across our planet. I’m thrilled to see that many of our youth and young adults describe people’s skin color just as easily as other generations point out hair color. Though seemingly small, it’s a sign of growing acceptance.

Everyone wants to be accepted. Though tolerance is not the same, it is an acceptable mid-point in the process. Here’s how you can foster acceptance:

• Help others to find the similarities between self and other rather than focusing on the differences.

• Remember that differences don’t imply inferiority, even if someone is viewed as minority.

• Provide opportunities for children and adults to meet people who are not like themselves. This can include skin color, ethnic heritage, faith traditions, physical or cognitive differences, clothing styles, etc.

• Acknowledge the risk that another person takes to be their honest self, and the additional risks that they take to be seen authentically.

• Connect with another’s emotional pain, and experience the empathy that can be felt for another.

• Teach children, and encourage adults, to look at people’s character and not their appearance.

• Advocate for the rights of all people.

Fear creates separation, and this impacts your sense of well-being and peace. Additionally, fear can sabotage your own happiness or lead to the prejudice of others. Strive to see another’s true self and be cognizant of your own insecurities. This is the time for us to come together to make life better for ourselves and all of humanity.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Published in MY Magazine August 2013