By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Neurodiversity is on the rise and Einstein is quoted as saying: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”. I hope that this increase in numbers will help bring about the changes that I see needed in so many of our systems.

This article will focus on individuals on the autism spectrum, probably the most recognized neurodiverse group, who hold many promising traits to help our society move forward toward peace. Here is what I tend to see that makes me hopeful:

• When describing the right brain, Jill Bolte Taylor explained that it does not distinguish between self and other. So too are those on the spectrum likely to recognize the energy shared between self and others. Many parents describe their children as having the ability to know things about other peoples’ bodies or health. Even non-verbal kids may walk over to complete strangers and point to, or touch, a certain body part that is known to be (then or in the future as) pregnant, painful, or diseased.
• They have a tendency to express themselves authentically, with integrity and honesty, as opposed to using judgement. (Mommy that man is fat is an observational statement and not meant to carry judgement.)
• They most often have a well-developed ability to see the word visually, which provides a different vantage point for understanding and finding solutions.
• They have an ability to look at patterns, without boredom or tedium, to isolate accuracies and inaccuracies.

I know that there are other strengths in the autism community, and I hope that you will share them with me to then share with others.

There’s a famous (and very true) saying that “if you meet one person with autism, you have met ONE person with autism”. It reminds us that while there are many similarities that lead to diagnosis, or recognition, every individual is unique. This is why autism is recognized as a spectrum disorder.

Many individuals still think of autistics as non-verbal children or adults who rock and flap their hands. While these folks are still a part of the autistic community, there is a significant number of higher-functioning autistics. These individuals used to be identified with the diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome, but that terminology is no longer recognized and was merged into the general ASD (autism spectrum disorder) diagnosis in the DSM-5 ten years ago. Since this is a spectrum disorder, there are many individuals who fall within and in-between.

Most of the students that I worked with as an educator, and the clients that I work with now (pre-school through adulthood), are on the higher-functioning end of the spectrum. In addition to the standard developmental and personal topics that come with being human, my focus with them tends to be independent living skills, socialization, and work or school successes.

Society and our systems have failed to provide sufficient and adequate resources to give these higher-functioning individuals in the autism community the chances and the resources to be their best, most successful selves. This ultimately puts a drain on our financial resources as well as limiting our society’s growth potential. (Remember Einstein?)

And what about the more profoundly impacted members of the autism community? Once they age out of the educational community (20-21 in most states, 26 in Michigan) there just aren’t enough resources to care for them. As a result, many parents, especially those of the more profoundly impaired, never “retire” from their job of active parenting. What happens when they are too old to properly care for these adult children with their many needs? I recently watched a documentary called Beyond, which highlighted the difficulties that parents of non-verbal, dysregulated, adult children experience. It highlights the need for residential communities that are designed to recognize, understand, and properly address the sensory, communication, medical, and emotional needs of adults who are unable to live independently. These parents need emotional, financial, respite, medical/dental, and care-giving assistance.

Autism awareness and acceptance moves us to take care of each member of our community: the child, the student, the worker, the adult, and their family members.

And what of Einstein (who is believed to be on the autism spectrum)? When I meet with my neuro-diverse clients, I find that they desire a world of acceptance where all people display integrity and honesty and where there is deep caring for each other. It may not always sound or look like it to those of us who are neuro-typical (NT), but that is because most NTs only know how to see the world through their own limiting, fearful, and judgmental filters. This is why I write, speak, and do my work. My goal is to expand NTs’ understanding to better recognize everyone’s needs as well as their gifts.

It’s time for a new way. I invite you to get to know the autism community even if there is no one that you can get to know personally. (By the way, it is VERY likely that you already know someone, but don’t realize that they are on the spectrum!) Fortunately, there are other ways. Try:

• The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon (fiction, but I found it very realistic, and parents and professionals have loved it)
• Born on a Blue Day: Inside the Extraordinary Mind of an Autistic Savant by Daniel Tammet
• The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen Year Old Boy with Autism by non-verbal author Naoki Higashida
• Blogs or books by Rudy Simone and many other autistic writers
• com (“take it from us, we’ve lived it”)
• Temple Grandin’s My Life in Pictures (book or movie)
• Ron Suskind’s Life Animated: A Story of Sidekicks, Heroes, and Autism (book or movie)
• The Spark: A Mother’s Story of Nurturing, Genius, and Autism by Kristine Barnett
• Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s by John Elder Robison

Now that you know a little more, consider asking yourself the following questions:

• What else do I need to know?
• How can I help?
• Is there a system that I can help to create, or to support financially or in another manner to facilitate better access for:
  • career/jobs access
  • affordable living accommodations
  • skill building
  • family support
  • respite care
  • educational support (K-12 and into adulthood)
  • appropriate dental and medical care that recognizes the special challenges of treating individuals with highly reactive sensory systems (think tastes, textures, lighting, medical instruments, difficulties with transitions, language barriers, etc.)

It is incumbent on each of us to change the experience for us all. This article has focused on our opportunity to get to know those on the autism spectrum so that they and their families can have an easier experience and be able to live independently when possible. My hope is that someday the qualities that lead to an autism diagnosis will be talked about in terms of strengths and challenges (we all have them!), and that we will interact with this community with understanding, strategies, supports, accommodations, and appropriate placements for the success of every individual.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

All of us are energy, we are surrounded by energy, and we interact with it all as we attune to the energy within and outside ourselves. Some individuals are more aware of this attunement. I call these individuals, myself included, Sensitives. We are highly attuned to the five senses as well as energy, intuition and empathy. Others refer to us as Neuro-Sensitives or Neuro-Diverse. Some of these Sensitives are diagnosed with autism. In a recent course with Awesomism founder Suzy Miller I learned some new aspects for consideration.

Are you familiar with the book The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto? In his fascinating study he placed water in a number of bottles and labeled them with words like love, war, peace, anger, etc. When he later looked at the water under a microscope he found that water that had been exposed to loving words showed brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns, while water exposed to negative words formed incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors. As a result of his study and the visual images, we can better understand how words affect energy, and thus ourselves and each other.

When you realize that everything is energy, it opens up interesting options for you to address certain issues. For instance, let’s imagine that you are a teacher and you are having difficulty with some of your students. Try this exercise: Create a paper doll cutout. Then select the child that you have the most difficulty with. On one side of the paper doll, write out all of the words that describe how you wish this kid would be. Put it on your refrigerator and read that wish list every day. You will likely notice that the child changes. But what has actually changed? Was it your energy changing when you encountered that child because you have filled yourself with these more positive thoughts? Or was it the child who felt the energetic shift through the ethers? I don’t think it matters. Give it a try.

Here’s a different application of the understanding of energy. It is said that neuro-diverse individuals may be able to alter and change things that come into their fields. As a result, they can modify themselves and/or the things that enter their fields. When they access something (like a supplement) they might take as much information from the item as quickly as they can, and then they no longer need it. This might explain why some individuals’ supplements and protocols are in a frequent and constant need for change.

Neuro-sensitives’ fields are more fluid/porous and they can live in multiple realities simultaneously (more on multi-dimensions in October). They perceive time differently and are not likely to see it in the linear manner that our society defines it. Many parents and teachers describe ADHD kids as seemingly unable to follow time requests. I’ve always felt that it is not about their unwillingness. They perceive time differently. We can begin to follow them into their “no time” experience by “feeling” our own experiences and being in the present. It is here that we can feel the presence of All That Is. If you need to encourage them to live in linear time, hold the sensory steps in your mind and visualize the possibility as you experience the situation in linear time. Be careful not to visualize their past actions of not being in time, because then they will be more likely to replicate the behavior that you don’t desire. Feel it how you want to see/feel it.

Neuro-diverse individuals have the ability to mirror or reflect back the various messages that they are receiving whether they or we are aware. Equestrians know that the emotional message that they transmit to their horses is reflected back with their horse’s behavior. Do you own a pet? You can use your pet, particularly a dog, to measure your own feelings. Ready to practice? Watch how your excited behaviors and words make your dog quite excitable? Want the dog to calm down? Intentionally calm your feelings and your body and the dog will calm as well. You can use your pet to provide you with feedback about the moods and messages that you are sending about them, or that you are feeling within yourself. This is especially useful when you live or work with neuro-diverse individuals.

I hope you are enjoying learning more about your autistic, sensitive, or otherwise-named neuro-diverse individual.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

It wasn’t until recently that I learned that if I sit in a ‘mindful’ state and think of people or locations that I know well, I can “feel” each individual or space differently. I’ve come to think of this as being able to identify their primary, or signature, frequency. I realized then (at least at this level of my understanding) that each living thing and environment has its own frequency.

The majority of us move unthinkingly through life, interacting with each other and all the other things around us without this recognition. Yet we are all affected by these interactions, whether imperceptibly or noticeably. If you are an energy-aware individual you probably realize this, though you might not have thought of it in these terms.

To explore this awareness try the following exercise:

Quiet your mind and think of an individual you know well. Imagine in your mind how it feels to be in their presence. Don’t overthink this exercise and don’t spend a long time thinking about the person. Whether or not you have this awareness yet, release your attention on this person, and think of a different person now. See if there might be a subtle difference in how the energies feel. Shift back to the first, and then to the second. If you‘d like you can switch your attention now to a third and then fourth individual, or even a pet.

You are not seeking how they feel emotionally, nor how your emotions feel in their presence, you are sensing the subtle vibration/frequency that you recognize as you bring your awareness to each. As you switch your attention from one being to the other, you might notice the subtle shifts that occur in your awareness, even if you can’t yet identify what it feels like. Sensing that there is a difference may be all that you get.

Now try this same exercise, but with locations that you have visited – specific cities, favorite landmarks, types of geographic areas.

Play with the exercise. You are potentially developing awareness. Please don’t judge yourself if you can’t do it. Maybe you are still developing your intuitive muscles, or maybe my instructions didn’t match your learning style.

Hopefully this exercise has made you more aware of the subtleties that people sense around them, whether you understand it at the thought level or experience it at the energy level.

As I work with the continuum of neuro-sensitive individuals who come to see me, I am learning that their ability to sense these subtleties also spans the continuum, and that some individuals are able to sense subtleties of frequencies that I do not (or that I have not yet recognized). As examples: I have had clients become physically and emotionally distracted when my space heater cycled on or off. Others have described having difficulty passing by the various store entrances while walking through malls. Whether it’s different lighting, music, temperature or something that is not tangible to our senses, their system is challenged to effectively make the adaptation from one source to the next. A very young client of mine reads the heart-space of each of the people with whom he comes in contact, and struggles with the fact that not enough are openhearted.

What they are teaching me is that their ability to easily adapt and transition from one frequency or field to the next is not easy. Unfortunately, society (parents, educators, etc) evaluate neuro-sensitives’ experiences from a neuro-typical perspective, and assume that what is happening is wrong and must be fixed.

I am therefore sharing this knowledge with you so that we can all learn how unique their neurology is, and to realize that it is not a fault that requires fixing. First, accept who they are and acknowledge their gifts. Next, collaborate with them to determine how they can best move through the various energy fields with grace and ease.

It is not uncommon for neuro-sensitives to be described as ADHD. When there is an abundance of energies and vibrations within the body, and the individual cannot readily access an organizational pattern for it all, the body may want to distract from the experience (inattentiveness) or physically try to shake out the crinkles to bring the vibrations into alignment (hyperactivity).

Encourage these individuals to move the energy throughout their body via: traditional exercise, tapping (EFT/emotional freedom technique), dance, yoga, tai chi, etc. These are excellent ways to move and organize the vibrations. Teach them to use the strategies above on a daily basis when they are not in school or at work, and to try more subtle versions (tapping, isometric exercise, brief movement opportunities like getting a drink, sharpening a pencil, etc) so that the vibrations don’t build up to an uncomfortable level.

As a result of the difficulties, neuro-sensitives often experience anxiety. Feeling different vibrations, without a more complete context of understanding, can feel and look like anxiety.

If you think this might explain some of your anxiety, recognize that the changing vibrations that are felt within are different energies or frequencies from outside you. Don’t try to modulate them to your previous state; homeostasis is not the goal here. Allow for the recognition of the changing vibrations even if you don’t know where they come from, or why they are there. Let them all flow through without attachment. Accept their presence with equanimity (a form of acceptance of what is). Let them pass through. Don’t pinch the energies and keep them immobile via too many whyquestions or by focusing on the perceived discomfort. Just allow. It is my belief, and my early experience on this issue, that the perceived discomfort / anxiety will pass much more rapidly.

I believe we all know neuro-sensitives. I encourage you to resist judging and labeling these neuro-diverse individuals through the neuro-typical lens. If you have anecdotal stories or questions related to the neuro-sensitives in your life, I hope that you will share.

If the content of this article intrigues you, consider attending a workshop that two colleagues and I have collaboratively created. Transcending Autism and Sensory Issues: Using Intuition and Energy to Address Neuro-Sensitives will be live this November (2018) in Ann Arbor, MI. Further information will be available on my website soon!

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Do you have a child (of any age) who is not like you?

I have worked with a number of families. Sometimes the client is the parent while other times the client is the child, or an adult child. Regardless, our conversations are often about scenarios that show how the child is wired differently from the parent; yet frequently neither really understands this. Here are the main topics that come up.

SOCIAL

I see a number of individuals who avoid social scenarios. They may only have a few friends, and may even avoid time with their family. This can be very disconcerting for a parent, and this is what I often hear:

“My child seems lonely, and I don’t want him/her to grow up alone.”

“Why is his/her school/college experience so drab? Why can’t s/he enjoy it? Why doesn’t my child go to school games and parties? College, tailgating, and parties were an amazing experience for me, and s/he is not participating!”

“Friends are important, and my child is missing out on social opportunities and experiences!”

If your child is a Sensitive (neuro-diverse) and experiences sensory overload, s/he will want more alone time and may seem more anxious, moody, or intolerant of others and their environment. It’s also possible that s/he misunderstands social scenarios and communication.

This child is not wired like you and does not receive the same pleasures in social company as you. As a matter of fact, I hear these individuals describe social activities as anything but fun. Let’s remember that they are very sensitive to the energies, the sounds, and the people in their environments. In addition to the sensory challenges they usually don’t have the social skill set that you (a neuro-typical) do, and they find every social or communication encounter as a potential landmine: “What do I say/do in this situation? Will it be right? Will they approve? Will they make fun of me (again)?”

Teaching these individuals the nuances of conversation, and developing their confidence and self-worth will significantly help, but they are still not wired like you. As a result, they will likely prefer more isolated experiences than you do. This does not mean it’s bad. They’re just different.

ACADEMICS/CAREERS

Parents hope and expect that their children will grow up to have amazing and prominent careers. Many families expect their children to go to college and study finance, business, law, medicine, etc. Graduate school is often an expectation. Yet, the academic experience of these different kids may not provide them successful college (or K-12) experiences.

For your student, school may be boring or confusing, or both. Educators have known for decades that children learn best via different preferred methods. Your child may learn best visually (books and worksheets), by listening (lecture/discussion), or kinesthetically (movement and hands-on). Some prefer to learn in groups, while others (see the social issues above) learn best when they work alone. Unfortunately, our schools don’t fully allow for these differences. In order to successfully navigate the school years your child probably requires a lot of your help.

College can be a more positive experience for your different child. Encourage the selection of classes that are enjoyable and interesting that are offered at times that match their sleep/wake rhythms: this may be one class per day, avoiding morning classes, etc. S/he may need to live at home initially to continue to benefit from your supports or might do best in a single dorm or even an apartment.

College students are often expected to take a very large credit load to be considered full time. Your child may only be able to handle 1-3 courses. The needs of each child are unique. Regardless, your child may still require your guidance for executive functioning skills (organization, lists, time management, etc), which you have been providing since it is not their strength.

This child may be incredibly wise and academically brilliant, but not be best suited for the career choices that you dream of for your child. I recently had a college student explain that the traditional liberal arts classes became boring much too quickly and this student failed to find the purpose in attending and learning. This same student realized that a course like Computer Design (CAD) provides more immediate feedback of progress and accomplishment, and with this information has renewed interest in pursuing a college education and degree.

If you were the parent of this student would you be able to release your own dream for this child’s career? What if the child’s preferred interest was something like culinary? If you find yourself living your own dreams vicariously through your child, you are cheating both of you of a full life experience.

HELPING YOU FIND PEACE WITH IT ALL

HAVE APPROPRIATE EXPECTATIONS – What does your child need to develop to his or her fullest potential? This might not be what you needed as a child, teen or young adult; and it may not be what your child’s siblings or other family members need(ed).

ACCEPTANCE – When you have complete acceptance of your child, as they really are, then you can better provide them with what they need. (Please note that most neuro-diverse kids have a built-in radar detector for being judged and will be more apt to reach their potential when you can truly accept them for who they are.)

BOUNDARIES – Just because you fully accept your child as s/he is doesn’t mean that there are no rules or expectations. Make sure that your rules are appropriate for your child’s age and developmental level, and recognize the difference between willful disregard and sensory overload. The latter might draw your child into acting-out behaviors or withdrawal, but your child is being self-protective rather than being manipulative. Then follow up with….

CONSISTENCY – Sometimes it’s appropriate to be flexible, but also remember that your child may require or appreciate knowing what to expect. Without being rigid about your rules, be sure that you follow through. All children appreciate knowing the expectations and the possible consequences. Don’t threaten a consequence that you can’t, or shouldn’t, follow.

Hopefully this guide to understanding and accepting your different child provided insights. I welcome hearing about your own experiences.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.