By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

“So called ‘late-bloomers’ get a bad rap. Sometimes the people with the greatest potential often take the longest to find their path because their sensitivity is a double edged sword – it lives at the heart of their brilliance, but it also makes them more susceptible to life’s pains. Good thing we aren’t being penalized for handing in our purpose late. The soul doesn’t know a thing about deadlines.”  Jeff Brown

When many parents bring their kids to see me, we discuss their children’s unique and wonderful traits. Yet many of these children are challenged to live their magnificence in the educational system in which they are provided. As a result, their parents, doctors, teachers, and others label them and sometimes even chastise or shame them for “not fitting in”. This experience often burdens these children for years after they have left their education behind. (I know because I often meet them as adults.)

The lucky ones will remember their gifts in these later years, and begin to feel comfortable and confident in their skin. As their confidence increases, so does their self-esteem. Suddenly these individuals “find themselves” and begin to experience successes – socially, professionally, personally. Society often describes them as late bloomers.

Wikipedia defines a late bloomer as a person whose talents or capabilities are not visible to others until later than usual.I’m glad that so many of these individuals are ultimately recognized as late bloomers, but why do they need to wait?

The number of kids being diagnosed on the autism spectrum or with ADHD or anxiety has increased significantly over the last decades. Many are questioning why this is, and I’m sure there is value in asking that question. But there is another question that needs to be addressed now: WITH SO MANY KIDS BEING RECOGNIZED OR DIAGNOSED, IS IT STILL TO BE ASSUMED THAT THEY ARE THE ERROR THAT NEEDS TO BE CORRECTED?

My goal with the students that I meet is to help them to identify, accept and honor their gifts, as well as to minimize the challenges that they experience. But it shouldn’t just be their responsibility to do the changing, and their true gifts shouldn’t have to wait to be recognized until they are AWAY from the system that pigeon holes them. It’s time that we do more to change our systems to better accommodate the changing child(ren).

One way is to recognize and honor the multiple intelligences as identified by psychologist Howard Gardner. When we accept that there are more ways to be intelligent than the traditional school models of verbal-linguistic and logical-mathematical, we provide an opportunity for more learners to soar. Here are the abilities that Gardner identified:

• Verbal-linguistic (words, language, reading, writing, telling stories, memorizing; this is measured in Verbal IQ assessments)
• Logical-mathematical (logic, abstractions, reasoning, numbers, critical thinking)
• Musical-rhythmic and harmonic (sensitivity to sounds, rhythms, tones, music)
• Visual-spatial (spatial judgment and the ability to visualize with the mind’s eye)
• Bodily-kinesthetic (control of one’s bodily motions, capacity to handle objects skillfully, sense of timing; includes sports, dance, acting, and making things)
• Interpersonal (sensitivity of other’s moods, ability to cooperate as part of a group)
• Intrapersonal (introspective and self-reflective capacities)
• Naturalistic (ability to recognize flora and fauna and to be able to relate information to one’s natural surroundings)
• Existential/Moral (though Gardner did not wish to include spiritual intelligence, he called it existential, and it’s best recognized as a source of guidance)

The concept of multiple intelligences is not new in the field of education. Educators have known about the prevalence of these multiple intelligences for decades, and we were encouraged to remember that some children learn differently. But it was assumed that the verbal-linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligences were the most prevalent and other types were in the minority. As a result, most teachers added some educational delivery or assessment methods to meet the minority’s needs, but it typically was only occasionally.

I’m not convinced that these kids are still the minority. (I would love to see some data on this). Regardless, I believe it’s time to change our educational system to further recognize these multiple intelligences and to more equitably provide educational delivery and assessment for all, with the addition of explicit social instruction.

Regardless of your political beliefs, our society seems to be focused on change – of financial systems, rights, and so much more.  How we perceive these kids and how we educate them should be one more.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I’ve been an educator for 25 years. I believe I’ve always been drawn to the children that we now call Indigo. What’s an Indigo child? There are several books with information regarding this group. Doreen Virtue in her book, The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children, describes them as having a birth date (typically) after 1978. She lists nearly 20 characteristics, many of which are the qualities that I use for identification.

As a special educator and educational strategist, I usually meet these children because they do not like school and don’t find themselves prone to academic excellence, but this is not the case for all Indigos.

Indigos do tend to have the following qualities:

• They seem older than their years in many ways (though some may also seem immature).
• They are described as ‘sensitive’ (especially the boys).
• They often have anxieties.
• They are self-aware.
• They are frustrated with their outside world because they know how things should be—in institutions, systems and relationships.
• They are frequently diagnosed with, or have the characteristics of, Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorder.
• They are often artistic (music, visual, creative arts).
• Many are unsuccessful, unmotivated students because of the mismatch of their learning style to the teacher’s style.

Additionally, they feel alone and misplaced. They frequently verbalize their dislike for (or discomfort with) their school, peers, and/or community. They describe themselves as having few friends–or few individuals who truly understand them and think as they do. They are deep thinkers and tend to be bright. Their ability to understand their world may be greater than other’s their age, but their ability to cope with this awareness is compromised because they have neither the life experience nor the emotional maturation to handle what they know. These characteristics often lead to anxiety and depression.

Though many adolescents will attend concerts, and even mosh pits, they often verbalize that they do not like being in large groups. They do not usually understand why, but they know that they wish to avoid environments that include large numbers of people. Indigos don’t understand their inherent sensitivity. They are intuitive and pick up the emotions of those around them. But they don’t realize this. They are prone to anxiety and feelings of sadness due to their discomfort with their environment and their feelings of personal isolation. But much of their anxiety and depression is because they absorb “negative emotions” while in the presence of others. The source of their anxiety and depression may not always be from within, or the intensity of their emotions is not theirs. It is actually their ability to sense the emotions of others who are in their proximity.

The ability of the Indigo to absorb the emotions around them, leads to special difficulties during family functions. Harville Hendrix (relationship therapist and author of Getting the Love You Want) says that we choose our life partners (and frequently other significant people in our lives) so that we can heal our wounded-ness that we experienced in the relationships that we had with our significant caretakers. Indigo children sense the unexpressed conflicts and the unexpressed emotions of their parents, siblings and extended families. Again, they do not understand this sensitivity and the sponge-quality of their emotions. But they are acutely aware of the family conflicts and emotions and it makes them very uncomfortable. Indigos are usually only aware of all this at a subconscious level. They know that they feel “bad” when in the presence of their family or groups.  They are responding at least as much to the body language of the individual as to their words and tone. Their discomfort is real! Thus they avoid and will frequently choose to isolate themselves from others, desiring to avoid family functions, “family time” or parent-child conversations, especially when the reward isn’t greater than the discomfort.

Sometimes these children think they are crazy because they perceive the world so differently than their peers and even other family members. I’ve found many to be intuitive with psychic abilities. Some have told me that they can see auras, that they have had precognition, and some describe seeing ‘people’ in their rooms, or faces coming out of their posters. (And I don’t believe they are hallucinating.) I am pleased that many of these children are aware that these abilities are ‘okay’ and some even find them exciting. But many others have not had the mentors to explain these perceptions and are terrified that they are nuts.

As you can see, many Indigo children are having a very difficult time on Earth. Supporting these children is imperative. I believe they are the seeds of our future; the future that we all strive for—a peaceful world that promotes and will maintain ecological and social responsibility. They know how to get us there. It is our responsibility to assist them through childhood and adolescence so that they can be healthy, productive adult citizens. Here are a few ideas for supporting Indigo children (whether they are in your family, classroom or live on your block):

• Teach them that they are ‘okay’ and help them to realize that they’re not crazy.
• Help them to recognize their uncomfortable emotions and experiences so they can bring them to a verbal level.
• Assist them in finding people they can trust to discuss their perceptions (emotional, extra-sensory, etc)
• Help them to learn relaxation techniques
• Teach them grounding techniques (possibly more beneficial than meditation for this population)

Many Indigos have a very difficult time in childhood and in education. They need to understand that as they grow closer to adulthood they will have opportunities to put their ideas for our society into action. Our job is to support their education and their mental health so they will be able to pursue their vision. Understand the Indigos in your life. Yes, they are willful and short-tempered, but it’s due to personal frustration and impatience with our world. They know at a deep level that they are responding to a much larger call than our requests of  “do your homework” or “put out the garbage”. Reframe in your mind why they act as they do, and try the suggestions listed above to reframe their world for them.

I hold the Indigos in my life (and yours) in love and light. May they know and attain their purpose. May they reach this in peace and follow the gentlest paths that precede them.

Please also read the article on Sensitive Children for additional information about Indigo and Crystal Children.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.