By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

When I look at the world (locally and globally) I see an environment of conflict and separation, while I believe in oneness and unity. There is a great need for mending fences and finding connection, but the problem(s) feel way too big for me to make a significant impact.

When my clients have expressed similar sentiments to me, I point out that we do what we can. Sometimes that is donating money or time to an important cause, but when those are not manageable you can still add light and peace to our world by smiling and connecting with everyone (including complete strangers) that you encounter in lines, behind store registers, or even while passing them on the street.

This small act can brighten another’s day, lift their heart and put a smile on their face. A colleague recently shared that saying “Awwwww” in your mind (like you would when seeing a cute puppy), will allow for the opening and sharing of your heart space, without saying a word.

Me? I do what I can. I donate, I smile, I share my heart space, I pray, and I meditate. And like you, I question if it is enough. These actions, over time, have proven to be a bridge for an incredible experience.

A few weeks ago, I was approached by a couple of Muslim therapists, to meet with Jewish therapists, so we could discuss the importance of maintaining the therapeutic alliance in our work when we encounter clients of different faiths, nationalities, and beliefs particularly during these difficult times. (I’m writing this in November 2023.)

Due to our desire to initiate this quickly, and challenges of availability during the holiday season, we started small. Four of us sat for a nearly 2.5 hour conversation at our first meeting. It was impactful. We talked about our families to create connection and commonality, and then with intention we led with our hearts. We asked each other gentle questions and probing questions. We answered honestly and authentically. We looked at our common beliefs and core values as well as our seeming differences. We sought to understand where these differences came from and what holds us to them.

What was our secret? We approached everything with curiosity and the intention of holding a sacred space of radical acceptance — that same quality that we each regularly provide therapeutically to our clients (patients) who have differing viewpoints.

We cried, and we hugged, and we talked. We thanked each other for coming to the conversation and for holding the space for each other.

This experience filled my heart and gives me hope. We will be repeating it soon, and then we hope to add more people.

I found that as I have been discussing this conversation with others, each person has expressed delight. They hope it demonstrates that any of us can have peaceful conversations, and that connections really can occur. They feel hope, as I do. And they have also suggested that I write it down and share it with others. It’s amazing how one example might encourage others to do the same.

How can you participate in similar dialogues?

• Approach everything from an “isn’t this curious” mindset.
• Find your shared humanity.
• Look at your own potential biases – we all have them, and it is helpful when you allow yourself to see your own.
• Set an expectation for authenticity and honesty.
• Open your heart (“Awwwww”).
• Seek any and all commonalities between you and the one that you have previously seen as ‘the other.’
• Bring in humor where appropriate and LAUGH together.
• If you find that you are making an assumption in your mind, take a breath and consider asking permission to check it out. “I find myself thinking that you mean this….. Is this accurate?”
• Express gratitude for their participation in this (potentially) difficult conversation.

There are so many opportunities to cross divides. And there has never been a more important time. Might you find one small way to reach out, open your heart, and establish connection with another? I thank you in advance, and I would love to hear about it.

Sending each of you bright blessings. The spirit in me acknowledges the spirit in you.

Namasté,

Judy

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

There’s a wonderful opportunity to assist communication when words seem to fail. I found many opportunities to use this style when my children were adolescents. They were angry, hurt, resentful (most parents of an adolescent can recognize the moment), and wouldn’t listen to my verbal words; nor would they accept a physical hug. At night I would speak to them from my heart, and share the meta-physical hug that they would otherwise not accept. The next day I would feel a reduced tension between my child and me, and thus the healing began.

I have also used this technique when I experience conflict or tension with colleagues or supervisors. They seem to soften their subsequent responses to me. During this “communication” I have had the opportunity to recognize the potential that they have within them.

I have been doing this work (and teaching it to others) for several years. I call it Soul-to-Soul contact. I will describe it to you in more detail so that you can try it in your relationships.

I relax into a quiet space (meditation / prayer) and visualize the person in my mind’s eye. Then I speak to them. At times I ask that my spirit guide will help make the connection with their spirit guide, that the individual may access their highest wisdom. Other times I speak directly to them as if they are there with me. I have been amazed at the results.

I can see the beautiful being that they really are, without their fear, their anger, etc. It is truly amazing. I find that this technique allows me to transcend the resentment that I hold, within me, towards them. Again, the responses and the healing are amazing (for both of us, and the situation).

I hope that you will try this communication/healing technique. The only “rule” is to approach the person from your heart, with positive thoughts and affirmations; and to share a genuineness regarding the outcome, while allowing them to retain free will. Thus, a typical “conversation” might be as follows:  “_______, I surround you with light in the hope that you will reclaim your contact with your Highest Wisdom. May you remember again, that sense of perfect safety that you have known. It is available to you once again. May you feel again the love and security that is yours, that you may respond to me/this situation, from your Highest Self. I appreciate everything that you do and have done. I know that you want the best for this situation. May you regain, with peace and love, the Knowing that you have over this situation/our relationship. I hope that you will continue to listen to your Highest Self and your Guides, so that you may continue to experience the world with love, security and peace.”

If you have questions about this technique or would like to share your results, please contact me.