Are you ready to live your authentic life?

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

The next time you are in the presence of an infant or young child observe the authenticity with which they approach life. If something brings pleasure, they fully radiate joy, and if something is not making them happy, they will certainly express that as well. The real beauty is that they can swiftly return to joy with incredible ease.

Many of you inadvertently lost touch with your authenticity after the socialization process. Seemingly insignificant conversations might have affected your ability to know and remember yourself. An example might be when you were told to hug your visiting aunt. When you said that you don’t like getting close to your aunt, the adults in your world insisted that you ignore your feelings and go hug her anyway. Each time you saw yourself discounted for the ‘greater good’ there was the potential to lose a bit of your authentic self.

Another common situation was when, as a child, you were intuitive or knew things that your adult caregivers didn’t remember, didn’t believe, or feared. Could you see auras? Did you know things about people? Could you predict the future? The child is reliant on physical and emotional safety from others, so you may have discounted your abilities and suppressed them in order to be or feel safe.

As an adult you can understand the bigger picture that you could not know or understand as a child. Now you can understand that adults did not know better. Had they known differently, they would have acted differently; had the child understood that they could have maintained internal and external integrity, they would have.

Recognize that your inner child still reacts to these original experiences. Intentionally rewrite your internal dialogue to reflect your new, more expansive understanding. Change your beliefs and change the paradigm; give your authentic self the permission it has been craving to be expressed.

BECOMING AUTHENTIC

Are you ready to return to your authentic state? Indigo children and adults, and the autistic clients I see, seem to have a head start on authenticity. Indigos live life emphasizing the importance to not suppress. They have a trait, which our societal paradigm describes as rebellious, that doesn’t tolerate inconsistency. When understood accurately, Asperger and autistic clients demonstrate a verbal honesty and congruence between actions, speech and their inner experience.

Maybe you have recognized the desire to be authentic as a thought:
I want to live life more fully.
I am ready to do what I’m here to do.
I want to be who I Am.
I sense that I’m to do something significant.

To become Who You Really Are – a Spiritual Being having a Human Experience – it is necessary to integrate the Spiritual with the Human. These traits include:

CONSCIOUSNESS: Open to the possibility of knowing. This is more than your brain’s memories and knowledge. This is accessing your intuition and your gut instinct. It is not necessary to force this connection; it is already available.

COMPASSION: Bring the heart and brain into energetic alignment and cooperation. Consider Heart Math’s Quick Coherence Technique: Focus your attention on your heart. Now have your breath focus in your heart. Then, remember a very positive emotion to bring about Heart Feeling. Repeat this sequence.

VESSEL: Your body is not the enemy. It allows you the opportunity to experience All That Is. This is a difficult concept for Sensitives who experience frequent sensory overload. Learn to accept your body and to use its sensations as a method of communication.

Have you been living your life with the focus on one to the exclusion of the others? It is not uncommon to see clients who wish to focus exclusively on meditation and spirituality, who emphasize the cerebral, or who focus primarily on the body to the exclusion of the rest. None of these aspects are bad. Your goal is to find balance for all.

BENEFITS OF AUTHENTICITY

As you learn to speak and act in congruence with your values and personal needs, you may notice that your core anxiety diminishes, which increases inner peace. Authenticity can also affect your self-worth.

Living an authentic life allows you to live life in flow and in Oneness. When you stop seeing the world from the polarity of separation the veil of illusion is lifted. Your fears and worry will reduce intensity or cease to hang on. From this place of greater peace, authenticity and oneness, you can then spread peace and love.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information. 

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Can you please tell us about your field of expertise, and explain your personal mission?

My field of expertise is working with individuals (students of all ages, as well as adults) who have characteristics or diagnoses of ADHD, anxiety, Autism Spectrum, Aspergers Syndrome, learning style differences and other IEP or 504 conditions. My intention when providing psychotherapy or academic support is to facilitate each client’s journey toward their most complete expression of their truest self.

What is your background and what led you to this business?
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. My primary career for over 30 years, was working in public education (special education and counseling). I had begun my private practice, Spiral Wisdom LLC, in 2002. When I was recently offered an opportunity to expand the time dedicated to my business, I welcomed the opportunity to increase the number of students and schools that I could assist – offering academic strategies, recommending accommodations / modifications for teachers and parents, and providing counseling to improve student’s self-esteem and motivation. Devoting more time to my business has also allowed me to expand the holistic and metaphysical aspects of my therapy practice. When appropriate, I utilize Guided Imagery. This is a meditative state that allows people to access their Inner Wisdom, heal their Inner Child, and access past (life) experiences. Since clients are able to share their experiences verbally during the Guided Imagery, I can effectively guide their journey into self-understanding.

How does holistic health apply to your business and your lifestyle?
I look at my clients as whole beings – recognizing the many facets that have created who they are (society, family, peers, self, soul purpose). I also strive to recognize and identify any difficulties that may be apparent with other systems (i.e.: educational, of which I have considerable knowledge). I also apply mind/body/spirit principles during counseling. In my own life, I strive to be environmentally responsible and take a holistic approach to my health. I am aware of the mind – body connection for myself and use spiritual principles to direct my activities and personal inner voyage.

What makes your business unique and sets you apart from your competition?
Trust: My clients (adults and children) feel at ease in my presence and trust me with the uncomfortable aspects of themselves.
Intuition: I hear the client’s words, but I also hear the messages between the words and in their body language.
Gestalt: When evaluating an educational or therapeutic situation, I look at the gestalt (how the parts contribute to the whole; recognizing that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts).
Knowledge: I have worked as a special education teacher, teacher consultant and crisis counselor in the schools. I have worked with children of all ages from elementary thru senior high, and assisted with their transitions to college. I have been the 504 building coordinator and the building Accommodations Coordinator for ACT testing. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor.
Experience: 30 years in various schools has provided me with the knowledge of what is really important to help a student to succeed, what they likely encounter in classes and curriculum, and what types of accommodations the staff will find reasonable and realistic.
Communication: I have a gift for explaining a situation or an individual – to that client, their family, and to the school people – in a way that is understood.

Does this (your services) work for everyone?
I am most effective with verbal clients. When working with non-verbal clients (for instance a child with autism) I support the client indirectly by providing the family and educational system with information to help them to understand the child and with effective, reasonable interventions to be considered.

Has the recession impacted your business, and if so, how have you adapted?
I am a fee-for-service provider and have always been aware of financial challenges that face families. I am able to reduce my fee when necessary. Also, I can offer a reasonably priced, one-time consultation with a student and provide academic strategies and numerous recommendations.

Is there anything you wish people knew about your business that they probably don’t know?
I provide Guided Imagery for people prior to medical procedures, I facilitate a parent support group, teach a meditation class, have a professionally recorded Meditation CD, and speak on many topics including There Are No Lazy Students, anxiety, bullying, the inherent gifts of autism, and de-stressing methods.

What is one of your favorite stories about a client who benefited from your service?
An adolescent student with significant ADHD was brought to me for strategies and recommendations. On-going support was requested to increase motivation. During these sessions the student began to talk openly. As the underlying issues were revealed, he learned to express his feelings. As his anger decreased, his ADHD symptoms reduced. Subsequently his school performance and relationships (with family and peers) improved.

What resources would you recommend for those who would like more information about your field?
I love the following books:
Dr. Hallowell and Dr. Ratey’s Delivered from Distraction (ADHD adults and children)
Doreen Virtue’s The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children
Dr. Brian Weiss’s books including Many Lives, Many Masters

As a spiritual being having a human experience, it’s important to care for all aspects of your being.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

You are more than a physical structure. There is energy in and around your body. Clinicians who study acupuncture follow the energy along meridians to look for blockages or sluggish movement. Correcting these can improve health, pain and mood. Also within the physical body are chakras – energy centers. Each chakra corresponds to specific physical structures of the body as well as to emotional and psychological processes; and is also linked to a symbol, name, musical tone and color. There are seven major chakras: the root chakra at the base of your torso, abdominal, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye at the center of the forehead, and the crown chakra at the top of your head.

Those who are hyperaware of the traditional five senses as well as the sixth sense of intuition, empathy and energy are considered Highly Sensitive People. If you are a Sensitive, other peoples’ energy fields as well as the electro-magnetic fields of your environment likely affect you. When all of this inundates your energy fields, it can lead to emotional distress, physical tension and even illness. There are a number of practices that you can use to clear or balance your energy:

FOR THE SELF

DURING A SHOWER use the water to wash away all uncomfortable emotions and tensions from the day. Have it all flow down the drain.

IN A RELAXED STATE, IMAGINE A SPONGE passing from head to toe on all sides of your body. As the sponge moves down, it removes the excess tension, emotions, energy, and any challenges that had accumulated throughout your day.

PLACE A BUBBLE of pink or white light around your body to keep “other” separate from “self”. You may visualize any color, a balloon, ball or even a force field around yourself.

CHAKRA BALANCE: In meditation, bring your attention to each chakra beginning at the root. Use your own intuition to balance the hue, density and size. Strive to bring balance to each. (You can find CDs or individuals to facilitate this process.)

HUM THE MUSICAL SCALES to balance the chakras via vibration. It isn’t necessary to know which note corresponds to each chakra. Deeply hum the scales and feel the vibrations within your body.

RELEASE OLD TRAPPED EMOTIONS that congest the energy. You don’t need to remember, you just need to release. This can be done through exercise, movement to music, massages and bodywork.

SEA SALT baths: a 10-minute soak helps to remove any released energies or toxins.

DRINK WATER to help the body move energy and toxins.

ENERGY MODULATION: If you are an intuitive or empath, you can feel others’ energies and emotions within yourself. It is important to learn how to regulate the input. First try to identify where you sense this energy entering. Most clients tell me that it enters at the abdominal or heart level. Find an image that allows you to have a “selectively permeable membrane” at that location. Consider visualizing the blowhole of a whale or dolphin, the weave of a fabric, screen or grid, or the adjustment of a color’s hue. I have had a computer expert describe it as a firewall. Others see it as a swirl that needs to slow or quicken. What’s important is that you select a method that resonates with you and practice shrinking and enlarging your portal while in a relaxed state. Then, set your intention when entering a challenging environment or when feeling overwhelmed, to shrink the size of your portal.

FOR THE HOME OR SCHOOL

You can additionally assist yourself and others by decreasing the amount of excess energy in your surroundings. The individual is then better able to neutralize his or her own vibratory fields.

SMUDGING is used to move the accumulated energy in one’s environment. Dried sage, cedar or sweetgrass is lit, extinguished, and the smoke is moved through the rooms, especially in corners. Please be cautious with the fire and note if anyone is sensitive to fragrances.

TUNING FORKS work in the same manner as smudging, but the tone that is emitted moves the energy.

COLLECTING AND REMOVING EMOTIONAL ENERGY: Ground yourself, use your intention, and invite the excess energies of the room or home to a location that is not immediately near you. Depending on what resonates with you, direct these energies to depart through the ceiling, a window, or to the ground. This is especially helpful when someone is triggered by anger, fear or agitation of others in the space.

Your energy fields are affected by many factors. I encourage a regular practice of cleansing to influence the ease vs. dis-ease of your life.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Communication is a vital aspect of children’s development and it may be necessary for parents to teach. Below are techniques for how to teach your child effective communication and a unique method to use when your child is resistant to listening. (This is especially helpful for parents of adolescents.)

It’s never too early or too late to teach your child how to communicate and to provide opportunities for your child to practice. Here are some suggestions:

Young children: Rehearse conversations (for phone or face-to-face). Teach your child how to begin a conversation (more than “Hi Grandma” followed by silence). Be very specific. Teach possible questions, phrases to continue the conversation and multi-word responses. Practice an entire conversation. Have fun.

Elementary age: Ordering pizza?  Write down the order (or use picture cues) and role-play the phone conversation.

Elementary / Middle School: While shopping, have the child learn how to request help from a salesperson, purchase the item, discuss return policies, etc.

High School: Encourage your child to talk to the school counselor about scheduling, colleges, jobs, etc. Have your child ask teachers for clarification about grades. Advocate for your child as needed, but encourage them to deal with difficult situations themselves. Practicing at home is helpful.

Help children of all ages to learn how to settle conflicts that arise with siblings, friends, peers, and teachers. Teach them how to express themselves calmly and clearly. Role-play, and practice these conversations with your child.

Keep in mind that some children have significant difficulty with communication, especially those with language processing difficulties, ADHD, learning disabilities, aspergers or autism. These individuals have difficulty understanding body language, vocal tone, idioms and emotions. Anxiety can also impact communication. It is important to explicitly teach, then role-play and practice. For these children:

• Keep instructions clear and simple. Avoid abstract words and ideas.
• They may not apply what they’ve already experienced in one conversation to a new situation, even if it’s similar. Use your child’s prior experiences and teach them the similarities.
• Don’t assume that your child understands. Ask your child, and then explain differently as needed.
• Practice often. Keep these lessons upbeat and playful.
• Remember that your child is not choosing to have communication problems. S/he really doesn’t understand. Don’t shame or ridicule. Praise often.

Communication can be developed at any age, but it’s easiest if you begin when children are younger.

Communication with your older child can be especially difficult. Your child may emotionally or verbally push you away and avoid hearing your message – even when you try to lovingly express it. There is a type of communication when words seem to fail. I have been using this technique, and teaching it to others, for many years. I will describe it so that you can try it in your own relationships. (It can also be used with adult family members or work colleagues with necessary variations.)

Relax into a quiet space (meditation / prayer) and visualize the person in your mind’s eye. See the beautiful being that they are, separate from their fear or anger. Speak from your heart, yet not aloud. Picture the person in your mind seated near you. Open your heart to this person and approach from the most loving space using positive thoughts. Your silent conversation might include:  “_______ , I come to you with an open heart and my love for you. I ask that you respond from your heart as well. I want you to know how I feel … Now please share your thoughts.” (Listen within to hear the message.) “Help me to know how I can best support you during this difficult time. I hope that you will continue to listen to your highest self, and experience the world with love, security and peace.”

You will likely feel a reduced tension between you and the individual and thus the healing begins in person. There is a more complete description in the article entitled Soul-to-Soul Communication on my website. I look forward to hearing from you about this aspect of communication, as well as your experiences as you teach your child to communicate more effectively and with greater ease.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Published in Metro You Magazine, June 2011

“I don’t like this shirt; it picks me.”
“I don’t want to wear socks.”
“That is tooooo loud.”
“I won’t eat THAT.”

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

These comments can be humorous or exasperating, but I no longer view them as the problem behavior of a picky child. These children are sensitive. And while many of these sensitive children acquire labels – anxious, ADHD, Aspergers, or autistic – these are only labels. I don’t believe your child has a problem, though at times the behaviors can be challenging.

If you are wondering if your child’s behaviors are indicators of being highly sensitive and want to understand your child better, you can examine the five senses.

Touch: This is the most common. Children complain about scratchy fabric, embroidery that irritates the skin, shoes and socks, or the sensation of water on the skin. Some children find the touch of another person to be uncomfortable or intolerable. When this is the case, use a firmer touch. Occupational therapists might prescribe skin brushing and weighted vests for extreme cases.

Hearing: This child hears everything (other than directions to clean their room or put out the garbage). Certain tones can be distracting or distressing. I had a student who couldn’t concentrate in a classroom because of a loud fan. Another student was distracted when the TV in the classroom was on. Though the picture was off, it emitted a high-pitched sound. The student heard this above the other classroom sounds. Oh, and that noisy classroom? A sensitive child can have difficulty distinguishing a specific sound in the midst of others, and may even tune everything out.

Taste: There are some children who only eat certain foods. Many are choosy about the flavor, consistency or texture of the food.

Smell: This is the least known. But if you ask your sensitive child questions they will acknowledge smelling things that others don’t, or being irritated by certain smells.

Seeing: The highly sensitive child tends to see everything. They notice the smallest details and feel compelled to take it all in. Once they are familiar with a room they are less distracted by the visual stimulation.

There is also the sixth sense. It tends to be the most overlooked. This is the awareness of others’ emotions and moods and helps us to be empathic and intuitive. The sensitive child doesn’t realize that they are sensing the emotions of others. Teach your child to realize that the anxiety, anger or sadness that they feel might be coming from the people around them. Help your child understand this concept and teach them to then ask, “Is this mine?” to help them identify if it is their own emotion.

It is important to realize that being highly sensitive is not just experienced by children. Many adults also have these traits. As the parent of a highly sensitive child, it is likely that you also have some of these characteristics (though probably not as intense or as many). You have a wonderful opportunity to educate your child and to model acceptance and ease.

There are many things that you can do to help your sensitive child:

• Educate yourself about your own sensitive nature.
• Don’t focus on your child’s challenging behaviors.
• Provide structure and familiar routines.
• Keep your own energy and emotions calm when communicating with your child (especially when giving corrections).
• Recognize your child’s compassion, empathy, creativity, and intelligence.
• Accept your child and appreciate his/her gifts.
• Explain to your child that these gifts help us to become a society of loving, compassionate, accepting people.
• Help your child to realize that they may be affected by the moods of others: family members, students in class, people in malls, etc.
• Understand that this experience can be overwhelming for your child.
• Learn more by reading about Highly Sensitive People, Indigo Children and Crystal Children.
• Find a mentor or counselor who understands sensitive children so that your child can learn how to minimize the sensitivities, deal with the experiences and recognize their inherent gifts with ease.

Being a sensitive is a challenge as well as a beautiful gift. You can help your child to be the full expression of who they really are!

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

Published in Metro You Magazine, May 2011