By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs has always fascinated me. The premise is that you must have your Physiological needs (food, water, breath, sleep), and your safety needs (employment, health, prosperity) met before you have the ability to adequately experience Love/belonging (friendship, family). Once these three aspects of the hierarchy have been attained you can reach Esteem (confidence, achievement, respect of and by others, self-esteem), and ultimately Self-actualization (morality, creativity, spontaneity, life’s meaning). Maslow believes everyone seeks self-actualization though it may not always be achieved.

Educators recognize that basic needs must be met for effective education to take place, and that the brain’s mechanism for protection (the amygdala) decreases learning in a hungry, worried or frightened child. To approach this problem systemically many districts are now creating trauma-informed schools, which provide a layered approach for safety and healing. (TraumaAwareSchools.org) These trauma-informed schools are appropriate for all socio-economic areas and also support neuro-sensitives who deal with the continuous “little t” traumas of sensory overload.

Chakras

The seven major chakras:

1^st – the Root chakra is at the base of your torso. It is your connection to your tribe and relates to security, abandonment by the group, and physical survival.

2^nd – the Sacral or abdominal chakra relates to your relationships with family and others, and financial security.

3^rd – the Solar plexus chakra is just above the navel. This chakra deals with your relationship with yourself: personal power, honoring the self, etc.

4^th – the Heart chakra is in the center of your chest. It is your connection to love – for self and others.

5^th – the Throat chakra is in the front of your neck and deals with your ability to speak your truth. It also relates to will. (Do you yield your power too willingly to others? Do you adequately support your own needs? Do you exert your power too strongly?)

6^th – the Third Eye chakra is located between and just above your eyes in the center of your forehead. This chakra is identified as your connection to intuition and introspection.

7^th – the Crown chakra is located at the top of your head and connects you to that which you call the Divine.

If you are interested in learning more about chakras, there are numerous books and websites.

Chakras and Maslow’s Hierarchy

As a student of metaphysics I began to see how understanding chakras could better explain neuro-sensitives, and that when the chakras are lined up to correspond with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs we see that:

Self-Actualization = Heart chakra (4^th) thru Crown chakra (7^th)

Esteem = Solar Plexus (3^rd)

Belonging = Sacral (2^nd)

Physiological & Safety = Root (1^st)

From a chakra perspective neuro-typicals begin more grounded in their bodies. They seem to more easily inhabit their 1^st through 3^rd chakras and then develop upwards through the chakras developing their compassion for others and their intuition. As preschoolers they are often seen moving about their environment with ease. They live in their bodies. As teens or adults they seek to experience being out-of-body, often through meditation, as they long for the Oneness that they can feel while in that state.

Neuro-sensitives seem to live primarily from the upper chakras. Their relationship with others is empathic (4^th) and often telepathic (6^th). They are more able to experience and live in Oneness (7^th). They are less likely to see the separateness that many neuro-typicals see in the ‘other’. As a result neuro-sensitives rarely sit in judgment of another. In fact, this honesty (5^th) often gets them in trouble with others. They see a trait, and they speak it, without judgment. (“Mommy, that man is fat”, is not a judgment. It is a statement of observation.) This creates difficulties in effectively connecting with others (2^nd). They also have a more complex association with their body (1^st) since it often has soft muscle tone, depth-perception challenges, and a clear recognition of others’ energy patterns and emotions without realizing that they are not their own.

A succinct chakra description of a neuro-sensitive’s experience is that they have dense, uncomfortable lower chakras because:

• The Root is not grounded.
• The Sacral doesn’t distinguish self from others; they absorb others’ energies; they are often a mirror of others; they attempt to regulate others’ emotions; and have poor energy boundaries.
• The Solar Plexus can’t digest life issues (gut), and may have a weak sense of personal identity.
• This results in an amazing sense of love (Heart), and connectedness to all of humanity (Heart, Third Eye and Crown), but less connection to the physical body and a decreased access to being grounded.

For me it begs the metaphysical question: Are there a larger number of neuro-sensitives who tend toward oneness, compassion, empathy, and energy awareness, to off-set the vast numbers of individuals who still see the world in terms of separateness (me vs. other)? And is it any wonder that neuro-sensitives struggle to adapt to our educational, communication and employment systems?

You can help them to have an easier time:

• Understand and accept them
• Help them better integrate with their physical body (i.e. Sensory motor integration)
• Though there are meltdowns, anger, frustration, anxiety and discomfort, the body is not the enemy
• Minimize sensory input and overload
• Teach them how they are separate from others
• Allow processing and response time
• Appropriate nutrition (they may not digest and metabolize everything)
• Teach grounding, relaxation and energy modulation
• Learning strategies
• Social skills
• Explicit instruction

Focus on neuro-sensitives’ inherent gifts instead of on their challenges. Find ways to minimize their difficulties to ease their experiences. Reframe their world so that they too can experience the incredible gifts that they bring.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Last month’s article, Neuro-Sensitives and Sensory Overload, focused on how parents and professionals can reduce the sensory burden that neuro-sensitive children and adults experience every day of every week during various activities in their lives: medical, social, entertainment, school, shopping, etc.

As a continuation of that information, this month’s article will focus on the resulting behaviors that occur when the Sensitive, or their parent/professional, cannot adequately reduce the overwhelming level of sensory input. Certainly different individuals have different tolerances, but sensitives and empaths who understand this phenomenon, and can communicate it, have all described their meltdowns, or of recognizing its approach.

For non-Sensitives, even those who conceptually understand empathy, it may be hard to understand that someone can experience this extent of sensory sensitivity. As a result, since many parents and professionals can’t see it coming, they don’t know how to recognize these sensory meltdowns. In fact, frequently it is assumed that the individual is having a temper tantrum. However, tantrums and meltdowns are triggered by different things and require different responses.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TANTRUMS AND MELTDOWNS

STEP ONE: UNDERSTAND SENSORY OVERLOAD

Sensitive children are hyper-aware of their surroundings. To better understand their experience, think about the input that they receive from all five senses, and realize that they have minimal ability to decrease or minimize it. Additionally, they are often intuitive, and as empaths they are highly aware of others’ emotions to the point that they feel these emotions in their own bodies.

Unfortunately most empaths don’t realize this is occurring. They either assume they are feeling an intensification of their own emotions, or they just react. Empaths who understand what’s occurring describe their experiences as more than empathy. (Empathy is described as, “I can imagine how it must be for you.”)

Here are some statements that empaths have told me to describe being an empath:

• I’m in a room with others and I feel their feelings.
• My anxiety (or worry, sadness, anger) becomes so intense that I need to leave the room.
• When I look in their eyes I feel like I see their soul.
• I’m exhausted whenever I am with others, especially in groups.
• When I look in their eyes, I know everything there is to know about them, and I feel it in my own body.
• I feel like it’s my job to take away their problems or ‘hurts’.
• Being an empath helps me do my work because I know things that my client, student or patient has not verbalized.
• Being an empath helps me because my child cannot verbalize what s/he needs, but I somehow know, and now I can explain it to others.

STEP TWO: MELTDOWN – THE PHYSICAL EFFECT

When sensitives or empaths don’t understand what is happening, and haven’t yet learned sufficient skills for modulating their experiences it is quite overwhelming. Remember that their sensory bombardment is continual and for the most part unrelenting.

Meltdowns are a sensory response occurring at a physiologic (physical body) level and occur when the body is overwhelmed by multiple stimuli and cannot cope with one more entry.

STEP THREE: WHY IT LOOKS LIKE A TANTRUM

What makes it especially confusing is when there are verbal overlays that sound like what our society has taught us are tantrums. For instance, the Sensitive child who is screaming for one more candy, or 5 minutes more time, is doing so because that issue became the one experience that they can identify or recognize (as opposed to a myriad of unrecognized sensory experiences), and they are hoping to control this one thing because they know subconsciously that they just can’t handle one … more … thing.

This is such an important part of understanding meltdowns, because meltdowns are NOT tantrums. Tantrums are willful and potentially tactical.

To recognize meltdowns, and not assume tantrum, it is important to learn about your individual’s sensory experiences. Think about how they usually respond in various environments: sounds, lights, activity, smells, tolerance of clothing and other tactile experiences, and even human touch. And remember that to the amygdala, that part of the brain that evaluates every type of sensory input to keep us safe, one’s emotions – our own and those of others – are also evaluated to assess potential threats.

STEP FOUR: WHAT TO DO WITH A MELTDOWN

The best advice is prevention. As you become more adept at being the detective of your individual’s sensory experiences, you will become better able to reduce their overload experience and thus the subsequent meltdowns. When that is not sufficient or possible, realize that the meltdown is the body releasing energy and tension and has to run its course. Provide a safe and supportive environment for your individual.

For generations our society has taught that children should listen and follow directions and that any counter-response should be met with consequences or discipline. Looking at things differently allows us to realize that meltdowns are a Sensitive’s unconscious and unplanned way of responding to a physiologic need to reduce their physical tension.

STEP FIVE: THE AFTERMATH

Apologies are heartfelt and real. Since this is a physiologic response, there’s no need for punishment. Be careful if you try processing what has occurred. Many Sensitives are unable to recognize the buildup in their systems and can re-trigger easily and quickly.

Professionals, families and neuro-sensitives are striving to find ways to reduce sensory receptiveness and increase sensory tolerance. Diets, education, cognitive behavioral therapy, energy work, craniosacral therapy, prismatic lenses and noise-reducing headphones are just a few of the things that are being tried. I hope to bring more information about options and successes in the future.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Antecedents are the key to understanding and releasing

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Years ago, I acquired a mini-poster showing how anger is actually due to a myriad of other emotions. It was one of those moments that helped to bring so many things into perspective. Anger is more of a reactive symptom, so when I see anger in my clients I look for the antecedent/cause.

I often show the poster to my clients so that they can understand their own anger, or the anger of a significant other. As many have explored their own anger, two additional causative factors have been added: feeling misunderstood and betrayal. Here is the complete list (in no particular order). Are there any influences that you would like to add?

Anxiety
Shame
Sadness
Fear
Hurt
Guilt
Worry
Frustration
Disappointment
Embarrassment
Jealousy
Misunderstood
Betrayal

Think about the times that you have felt or acted angry, and look at the list to identify your underlying emotion(s) to better recognize the real issue(s). Next, I encourage you to additionally go one step further. Think back and identify when in your history, most frequently during your childhood, you experienced that earlier emotion. Emotional extremes, like anger, are usually triggered by an earlier experience, for which the current event is a reminder. Now you have the potential to address it at its root in order to release the anger.

Fear is another emotional extreme. This is because there are rarely any situations of true endangerment. Yet our physiologic system doesn’t differentiate, and assumes that we are in true danger. When we understand the process, we can actually minimize our physical symptoms and our related thoughts and feelings. I have written about this in numerous articles including Transforming Fear. To summarize the techniques:

• Remember that the fight/flight response lasts only ninety seconds
• Use mindfulness, breath, and relaxation to calm your thoughts and body’s reactions
• Change from worrying to doing
• Reduce your sensory and emotional input with energy modulation and other techniques
• Use good boundaries
• Stay out of story (fear is False Evidence Appearing Real)

I believe that fear, like anger, can be looked at as a secondary issue. In fact, fear and anger appear to often be distractors and thus agents of resistance. Let me pause for a moment to acknowledge that sensory overload and other biological factors can be the source of anxiety, or elevated emotional states that trigger anger. But I have seen that worry and anger flood the system so that you are effectively distracted from the real issues. Thus patterns, themes, and root causes are often buried under layers of behaviors and words. Consequently, fear and anger can be perceived as communicators – pointing you, or a therapist, to the underlying truths.

Humans by nature are inclined to move away from those things that are uncomfortable. Regarding fear, author Eckhart Tolle reminds us to stop running from the fear and to turn to look at it instead. I’ve actually done this, and it’s true that the thing that was kept in hiding is not as big and scary as formerly believed. In fact, it’s always smaller and less frightening than the unknown that I was running from. Tolle is right!

What is the truth that you may be running from?

• Often it is a misunderstanding or inaccuracy that developed from the experiences of your Inner Child. Transform yourself into the caring adult and assure your inner child that you have a deeper, broader understanding of the events, as well as the skills to keep your inner child/you safe.
• If you experienced a traumatic event, I urge you to partner with a qualified trauma expert to help you release without reliving the trauma. These include professionals trained in Havening Therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), or Somatic (Body-Oriented) Therapy.
• Are you running from your own worth? Author Marianne Williamson says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us…. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Might you be ready to uncover the layers between you and Who You Really Are?

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information. 

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

From listening to politicians and the news media, and even your neighbors and family, it’s easy to conclude that these are scary times. This article will explain fear and anxiety, provide you anxiety/stress reducing tools, and offer a way of looking at the world in which we live from a metaphysical perspective.

Fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” (Oxford Dictionaries). The amygdala, that part of the brain that determines safety, hasn’t evolved to distinguish the difference between a true imminent threat and an area of possible concern. It evaluates every input from one of your senses including what is seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted, and emotionally felt. From a safety perspective this makes perfect sense. But the amygdala has not learned to differentiate between a bear on a forest path and a call to the boss’ office. Both result in the same physiologic fight, flight or freeze response. Additionally, the amygdala and its supportive systems rarely distinguish between a threat that is happening to you and a threat that is happening to someone else while it’s viewed on the news or in a movie, or is told to you by another. The mind/body/emotions respond as if the threat is happening to you, right now.

To make matters more complicated, if you happen to be one of the many highly sensitive individuals (not just those on the autistic spectrum), your amygdala is hyper-vigilant. And if you are a worrier, then every additional worry-thought after the original trigger keeps your amygdala continuously responding.

The amygdala’s response is designed to be temporary, not to keep the system on high alert 24/7. Since the amygdala response actually lasts only 90 seconds, anything longer is due to the amygdala being repeatedly triggered by either the continuation of the real danger or by the mind’s continued focus on the perceived danger (actually a worry-thought).

Here are some ways to keep your amygdala response to the more manageable 90 seconds:

PHYSICALLY

Focusing on your breath provides mindfulness, and also acts as a reboot for your physiologic system. Watch the movement of your chest and abdomen: observe without controlling, or strive for longer, but not deeper, breaths.

Observe your body for tension and anxiety. Drop your shoulders away from your ears to open your lungs for a more complete breath. Practice progressive relaxation techniques.

Exercise is a great de-stress technique, but if it is unavailable change your position to move your body, and also to change the visual scene that has your attention.

Participate in sensory experiences, i.e.: sip hot tea, take a bath, listen to preferred (and preferably calming) music, or pet an animal. As you do these activities immerse yourself in all the sensations that are involved (temperature, flavor, sounds, textures, etc).

Practice “tapping”. Use your fingertips to gently tap your collarbone; or tap the side of your hand on your opposite palm.

EMOTIONALLY

Change from worrying to doing. Allow yourself only one assessment of something that happened in the past. Reliving it as a memory will not change it and will only recall the negative emotions and physiology. Also, allow yourself only one assessment of something that is to come in the future, thereby changing your worry to an action plan of what can be done to address the area of concern (start the project, enter a to-do list in your calendar, practice a conversation, etc).

Infuse yourself with laughter and humor: comedians, funny books, amusing movies, etc.

Practice energy modulation to reduce your empathic response: Focus on your inner space that absorbs others’ emotions and energy. Find a visual imagery (balloon, weave, etc) that lets you reduce its size when desired and needed.

COGNITIVELY

Boundaries are important. Decide when and how long you’ll entertain the worry. Select a specific time to think about this issue and limit the amount of time you will address it. Ten to twenty minutes should be sufficient. If it doesn’t seem complete, then make another appointment time.

Question your beliefs. Are they real? Is it true? Is there a different perspective? Talk to a trusted friend or professional so that you can get the fear-thoughts outside yourself where they can be looked at objectively (from the shadow to the light).

Look for the “stories”. These are assumed truths that masquerade as reality. Remember that F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Find the stories in your thoughts and dispel them.

METAPHYSICALLY

To minimize anxiety, align your outward actions with your inner beliefs and values. Make sure that when necessary you speak your truth respectfully, and act in alignment with your truest self.

Metaphysically we also understand that to bring in more light, the shadow must be seen. As the shadows come out of hiding, their visibility makes it easier to address. Fearing a shadow makes it heavier, denser, darker and more recalcitrant. By making it visible and turning to look, we bring it to the light with compassion and understanding. This is true for you personally, and also our society.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.