Individuals with highly sensitive nervous systems can become so emotionally and physically overwhelmed that they can’t participate in activities, even the ones that they would have otherwise enjoyed.

I am frequently asked how to help a super-sensory, highly sensitive student stay in class, or even to consistently attend school.

The first step is helping their educational staff, family, and potential employers to understand the challenges that these individuals’ nervous systems experience because of the constant bombardment to their five senses, and their own and others’ emotions. I write about this frequently in my monthly newsletters and have several articles devoted to this concept. If you are unfamiliar, I encourage you to read Neurosensitives and Sensory Overload and Mentoring and Parenting Sensitives.

It is only when we have a better understanding of the individual that we can relate to their experiences sufficiently to make the most appropriate adjustments to help them to have fewer reactive responses, and to appreciate and accept their need to step away.

Recently I was asked to attend a school meeting on behalf of a student. I have jotted down some generalizations that you might be able to use on behalf of your student. These concepts can also apply to a college student or an adult at work. Use these ideas and personalize them to your specific situation/individual.

We are talking about their nervous system’s response to its environment. Their behaviors are not personal or willful.

• We want to minimize their nervous system’s identification of cues of danger. Incidentally, we are all wired to see the world through what is called negative bias where we see danger when there really is no bear. This tendency is intensified in a super-sensory or someone who has experienced trauma.
• A good resource to help you to walk a mile in their shoes comes from a writer who explains how having a chronic illness is like starting each day with a specific number of spoons. The kids and adults that I work with resonate with this concept and often use it to explain their situation to others. They can now verbalize in a concrete way to others, “I only have 4 spoons left. I need _______.”
• Maximize their cues of safety to help them calm their nervous systems in real time:
• They (their nervous systems) need to experience that school can feel safe. This often requires a reduced schedule for a period of time (so that their nervous system doesn’t overwhelm); and/or a quiet, cozy, safe place for them to be in the building.
• Allow and encourage the student to determine when they can return to a class(es) and continue to provide access to the safe place.
• The safe place is typically quiet, dimly lit and often small. Fidgets and other sensory objects are helpful. Some individuals like to have weighted blankets available. Take the time to find out what helps them to feel safest and calmest.
• Individuals who interact with the individual can help the situation and the individual by slowing their own movements and voice, speaking softly, using an inviting tone, and breathing calmly.
• Consider reflecting the student’s experiences so that they feel seen. (i.e.: I can see that not knowing what I was asking became very overwhelming to you, and that was more difficult after the sudden noise that we just unexpectedly experienced. I recognize that you really want to have quiet time to be able to feel calm again.)
• Assure them that no change will take place until they are ready. (If their nervous system is in crisis, this is not the time to “push” them toward growth.)
• Find out who on staff their nervous system has identified as “safe”. Whenever possible these individuals should be the ones who address them when they need to calm, as well as when shifts toward more engagement are being requested.

It’s not uncommon for behaviors, tolerance, and the willingness to stay engaged to change very rapidly (that 0-10 concept). Highly sensitive individuals with highly reactive nervous systems are being bombarded with constant input and are tolerating as well as they can. Truthfully, they are doing an awesome job…until they can’t! As we understand their situation and help them to address difficulties even before they happen, they can tolerate more and require fewer and shorter breaks from the activities. This translates to more time engaged and present.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

COLLEGE PREPARATION AND READINESS

Is your high school senior REALLY ready to go off to college? There are a number of things to consider when determining whether your child is ready for a successful college experience.

The following list will help you to determine your child’s readiness. And if your child is not yet a high school senior, consider assessing and working on these items over the next year in order to help your child to become prepared.

Consider:

What’s their ability to handle risk?
Are they successful when their family members are not orchestrating things on their behalf?
Can they take responsibility and learn from poor decisions
Are they able to manage their own time?
Do they know how to access supports and resources?
Can they cope with difficult feelings?
Do they know how to handle their own self care?
Who was the real director (you or your child) of this college admissions process?

Click here to read the original article by Grown and Flown in its entirety.

COLLEGE SELECTION

Typically in their junior year students begin to identify a few colleges where they’d like to apply, and recently my high school-aged clients and their parents have been discussing the college selection process.

Acknowledge any budgetary limitations. In-state tuition is always less expensive than out of state, and public universities are more reasonably priced than private. Thankfully, we have excellent colleges and universities (here) in Michigan (and locally in the Detroit area).

It is recommended that FAFSA forms be completed even if you “know” that there is no chance for governmental financial aid. FAFSA is sometimes needed for scholarships; and it’s also important in case financial situations change suddenly. (Ask your child’s high school counselor for timing on this process.)

Schedule visits to the campuses to see if your student feels that the campus they are considering is the right fit and has the proper vibe. Not all campuses are created equal and your student might have opinions about:

The campus location: some are literally located in a city, others are more isolated
Campus size
Number of students on campus
Class sizes and style: lecture halls with hundreds of students, or small classes for more intimate discussions; professors or teaching assistants
Nature-based or mostly concrete structures
Older style or more modern
And of course check to see that the college offers the courses and majors that the student is most considering

Consider local community colleges, located in and out of your immediate county. Students can earn their associate’s degree in approximately two years and then transfer to a university for their diploma, and the tuition is significantly lower! They also offer certification programs for employability.

A few years ago, one of my former clients began working with a college consulting group and I had the opportunity to meet a great resource. I recently received their newsletter that included an article that I find relevant to this month’s theme: Debunking the College Selection Myths.

ALTERNATE POST-HIGH SCHOOL CONSIDERATIONS

If your child has needed school supports through high school with additional supports from you to address academic, developmental or emotional success, including executive function, maturity, independence, risk-taking, communication, learning or cognitive challenges, etc., you may be considering a non-traditional route post high school.

If your child has an IEP your transition team may have already discussed alternatives. These can include (dependent on the severity of the issues) holding their diploma to receive post-high school public education (in Michigan this can continue to age 26 for eligible students). This is especially helpful for students who can benefit from extra instruction in life skills and vocational/career training.

Outside the school you can apply for services or support through organizations like Michigan Rehabilitation Services, Michigan Career and Technical Institute, Michigan Works!, and the Autism Alliance.

Some students will benefit from a Gap Year before college to explore work, maturation or personal development.

Community colleges provide an excellent transition for students who still need regular organizational or maturational supports that wouldn’t be accessible while living on a distant campus. Students typically live at home and take one to three college classes to ease into the academic load, thus increasing the likelihood of success and confidence. Some of these students then transfer to universities, while others will study with a technical focus to receive certification for more immediate employment.

A reminder that all community colleges and universities can provide accommodations on campus in the form of a 504 Plan. (There are no IEPs after graduation.) Every school has a special office for addressing disabilities, which is typically requested after the college application and acceptance process has been completed. Also, when students were in high school, they went directly to support classes or benefitted from staff members who reached out to them to provide support. After graduation, your student must initiate the process with the college to be granted assistance (the 504 Plan), then initiate with that professor each time an approved accommodation is needed.

ADULTING: COLLEGE AND BEYOND

I wrote an article a few years ago that addressed the process of changing our relationship between adult children and their adult parents away from the dynamic of kid and adult parent. Read Parenting Your Adolescent into Adulthood.

Navigating the role of adulting is not just about the kids. A psychologist has studied the experiences of the parents of adult kids (who are in their 20s and 30s) to see the typical trends that these kids go through, and the challenges that it creates for their parents. Read about his findings here.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Many of the inaccuracies of your life were learned during childhood and especially the middle school years. I know it was true for me, and I have spoken to many pre-teens living it, adolescents learning that they can let it go, and adults who didn’t realize how many misrepresentations came from their childhoods and middle school/junior high years who are now learning to recover from these falsehoods by reframing their Truth.

Having had those experiences has helped to shape the type of work that I do. In fact, one of the most rewarding educational experiences I had was to teach classes of middle school students what to do if they encountered bullies. I taught them empowerment, how to use their voice, and to utilize physical, verbal, and energetic boundaries. (If you would like to learn these tips, read my article: Empower Your Child. All the concepts in this article can also be utilized by teens and adults.)

But let’s come back to those inaccuracies. What do I mean by that? Pay attention to the messages that you say within your own mind about yourself in any given day. It’s amazing how most of us would never say those things to another person, especially someone that we care about, yet we speak them to ourselves – in the silence of our minds – every single day. I’m suggesting that you pay attention to those messages, so that you might confront them with a healthier and more accurate viewpoint.

Here’s how it tends to happen: You started your life connected to ‘all that is’ without preconceived notions about others or yourself. In the beginning, there was pure joy and love. By your preschool years parents and teachers began the socializing process with messages like: ‘take turns’, ‘sit still’, ‘be quiet’, ‘don’t do that’, ‘be polite’, etc. Unfortunately, you may have interpreted this to mean that you were fundamentally ‘not ok’.

If you struggled in elementary school academically or socially you may have internalized the ‘not okay’ message further, even if no one was judging or comparing. Subsequently, middle-school comes about and tends to be especially challenging for students who are expected by others to fit a specified expectation to fit-in and be included. Those that don’t, tend to be shunned or ridiculed.

All these incidents further decrease a child’s self-confidence, become their inner dialogue, and form the later basis for how adolescents and adults see themselves.

Regardless of your (or your child’s) current age, it’s not too late to return to the truer version of you and learn to speak more kindly to yourself. Here’s a process/exercise for you to practice whenever those challenging beliefs and emotions come up. Please read all the suggestions before beginning. You may benefit from the assistance of a trusted friend or professional.

TAKING YOUR LIFE BACK – BRINGING YOUR THOUGHTS TO THE PRESENT

Recognize the thought or emotion as a reflection from the past. Now take it forward into this current time to allow yourself to interpret it from the accuracy of this present moment. The goal is to look at the event or thought while staying in this moment now; to view the past (while staying in this present moment) and reframe the beliefs about it from the perspective of this present you.

• When negative or demeaning thoughts come up, allow yourself to observe them with curiosity.
• Ask: When in my history did I experience these same thoughts that I have now?
• Avoid the deep dive back to the previous experiences themselves. Instead, stay in the present, maintaining that curiosity.
• Recognize the limited (narrow) understanding that you had at that age. Remember that children don’t have power to impact many of their events and that at any age, we only know what we know.
• Come back to the present again with compassion for this earlier self and expand the experiences that you had while you were younger (because you have more skills and knowledge than you did then).
• Imagine the current you observing or talking to your younger self and imagine how you would respond if you came across this child today. Might you embrace this younger you or sit close so s/he doesn’t feel so alone?
• Explain to your younger self that the old message was not based in accuracy. Challenge these inner messages! Your demeaning words came from the inaccuracies and misrepresentations that your younger self erroneously believed.
• Allow yourself to remember and see who you really were before these falsehoods were learned (directly or by assumption).

ADVANCED LEVEL

As you see your true self emerging, use your imagination to take this confident/strong energy of your true Self and infuse it back in time to the age when it all began. There is no need to identify the event(s) that started the incorrect messages.  Allow yourself to have a vague awareness of that identified time. Then infuse your confident/strong energy (that you can access now) into that situation and into the younger self who experienced it all. Then move that confidence and strength up your timeline to your current age.

It’s okay if this sounds like imagination or fairy tale. Neuropsychologists understand that the brain and body really don’t separate what is happening from what you are imagining in your mind. Your limbic (emotional) system tends to not differentiate time (or places or people). So, if you imagine a challenging or scary situation your body will react as if it is occurring right now. If you imagine something positive, it can help to calm your limbic system.

I hope that you will read through the list again to see how this can work for you. First, challenge the messages that you have unconsciously spoken to yourself. Then, when it feels appropriate you can use visualization and guided imagery to energetically rewrite your memories toward healing.

I recently saw this meme on social media: Unlearning abuse also requires for me to unlearn the survival tactics that I learned in abuse that I now call my personality. That’s not who you are! That’s who you became based on who they were. Because pain builds walls. But healing builds doors. — The Kentucky Therapist

You have multiple avenues for changing patterns: your behaviors can change thoughts and emotions; your thoughts can redirect your behaviors and emotions; or you can let your emotions initiate the process.

It is never too late to Remember and Become Who You Really Are! Believe in yourself. Take your opportunities. Imagine and be creative. Trust in your possibilities. Free yourself of old patterns. You’ve got this

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I hope that one of the reasons that you follow my work is to continue to understand various ‘differences’ from a more expansive view. This article is about autism. It’s when we understand the “why” of something that we can truly learn to accept it for what it is. Autism is not a condition to cure, but rather it is a series of conditions that causes or allows the individual to interact with their inner and outer environment differently. Sometimes this brings about challenges, but that’s most frequently due to our rigid societal expectations and assumptions. Let’s all learn to recognize the aspects, and see the gifts that are part of this spectrum, so that we no longer view it as a “disorder”.

Q:  What is autism?
A:  Autism isn’t one condition. It’s a collection of related conditions that are so intertwined and so impossible to pick apart, that professionals have stopped trying. If you only check one or two boxes, then they don’t call it autism, they call it something else. Here’s a graphic of the various aspects. Remember that autism is a spectrum condition. Some individuals with autism (sometimes referred to as autistics) have less of one of these issues, or it may no longer be apparent. According to the DSM-5, autism is a life-long condition that can ease in intensity and life-challenging ways, but it doesn’t go away. And remember: If you’ve met one person with autism, then you’ve met ONE person with autism.

Q:  Is the person ‘an individual with autism’ or ‘autistic’?
A:  That’s actually a good question and you will get differing responses. Initially we referred to these folks as autistics. Then perspectives about disabilities changed and it was considered most appropriate to see them as individuals who are not defined by autism, but rather who have autism (recognizing that they have many other facets to define them). I work with a lot of folks on the spectrum, from many age groups, and am frequently told that they recognize how autism informs their daily lives, and thus very positively and proudly define themselves as autistic (along with their other descriptors of spouse, parent, employee, artist, writer, etc.)

Q:  I hear that it is harder to identify girls and women on the spectrum.
A:  It does seem to be more difficult since females present differently than males.

All the literature, clients that I talk to, and my experiences with my own clients acknowledge that recognizing and diagnosing autism in those who are born female can be more challenging. Some believe it’s because many girls seem to intrinsically find it easier to mimic peers as well as others’ socialization. Additionally, they are less likely to have the same types of areas of interests as their male counterparts, so their identity on the spectrum is less recognized.

My intention in this section is to provide you with a variety of links that can better inform you. I hope you find this information beneficial. I encourage you to reach out with questions, and to let me know about any professionals that you have met who are adept at diagnosing ASD in the AFAB (assigned female at birth) population.

From the article, Why Do Many Autistic Girls Go Undiagnosed? by the Child Mind Institute: “Autism is a developmental disorder that is marked by two unusual kinds of behaviors: deficits in communication and social skills, and restricted or repetitive behaviors. Children with autism also often have sensory processing issues. But here’s the hitch, according to Susan F. Epstein, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist. ‘The model that we have for a classic autism diagnosis has really turned out to be a male model. That’s not to say that girls don’t ever fit it, but girls tend to have a quieter presentation, with not necessarily as much of the repetitive and restricted behavior, or it shows up in a different way.’ Stereotypes may get in the way of recognition. ‘So where the boys are looking at train schedules, girls might have excessive interest in horses or unicorns, which is not unexpected for girls,’ Dr. Epstein notes. ‘But the level of the interest might be missed and the level of oddity can be a little more damped down. It’s not quite as obvious to an untrained eye.’ She adds that as the spectrum has grown, it’s gotten harder to diagnose less-affected boys as well.”

In the article: Autism is Still Under-Diagnosed in Girls and Women, they propose four ways testing should change: “From an autistic woman’s perspective, the diagnostic assessments need rethinking:

• they should consider autistic strengths and not focus solely on deficits and impairments. Sometimes autism isn’t considered because of the presence of strengths
• they should incorporate the common lived experiences of autistic women. These have now been well-documented by autistic women, many with successful careers and yet areas of difficulty
• the differences between the presentation of autism in females and males should be reflected in the diagnostic criteria
• autistic people should be included in the design and content of diagnostic tests.”

Why Camouflage Autism? specifically talks about a female’s potential for camouflaging their autism.

Developing a Positive Sense of Identity by Dr. Michelle Garnett explains more about spectrum women developing a positive identity and includes many insights to recognizing ASD in females. It also discusses the benefits of identifying it earlier, as well as the uniqueness of having ASD as a woman.

Autistic Women in the Workplace provides guidance to identify one’s career, and to recognize greater understanding of the special challenges as well as the special gifts that autistic women (or women with autism) can provide. Gifts can include leadership skills, teamwork, communication skills, and work ethic. Some of these items might surprise you; I encourage you to read the article. The author also discusses guidance for receiving accommodations in the workplace.

And learn how to address social challenges at work as an autistic adult.

The Boston Globe article entitled What Happens to Autistic Children Once They Become Adults offers a bit more generalized approach to ASD and careers. This article highlights some amazing work programs that have been developed in Florida and Massachusetts.

There are many resources for folks with ASD who are in relationships. I happen to love this article since it approaches healthy relationship-building from both the ASD and neurotypical perspective. How to Be the Best Partner to an Autistic or Neurotypical Person is both enlightening and refreshing. 10 Things You Need to Know About Your Autistic Partner is also enlightening.

Anytime we talk about autism I think it is imperative to have an opportunity to better understand meltdowns. This article about meltdowns, written by one with autism, offers an outstanding opportunity to understand the process and the experience. By the way, this is not a quiz asking you to select the correct choice for each item. Rather, each issue provides a variety of ways to understand what is really happening. Please read each item (A through E) that completes each phrase so that you can better understand your family member who experiences meltdowns.

And here’s a related article about autistic burnout. The authors explain that it is different than depression (though depression might be incorporated in the symptoms) because there is increased sensory sensitivity and the need to isolate in order to recover.

Q:  Why does my student with autism make a prolonged noise when I begin to speak, but stops when I stop talking?
A:  Sometimes individuals are highly triggered by sounds, yet by covering it with something they can control (tapping, shrieking, etc.) it is easier for them to deal with the original sound.

Q:  I have been told that my student’s behaviors are stims. What does that mean? I feel that they are distracting and disruptive for my student and I want to know how to make them stop.
A:  Stims or stimming is shorthand for self-stimulating behaviors.  These are actually quite helpful for your student as they help them to soothe their (overly) reactive nervous system in the moment. I was at a conference once where the presenter suggested that we try to mimic these behaviors on our own to see how it feels. Most neuro-typicals do indeed find them soothing. Regardless, it is soothing for your student. I was also cautioned by this presenter to be careful when trying to stop a stim, as it will be replaced by something else, which might not be as socially or classroom acceptable. Here’s a graphic that explains more about stimming.

Q:  How do you teach appropriate eye contact?
A:  First of all, let’s understand the possible reasons why those with ASD or other individuals avoid eye contact:

• Some cultures discourage looking into another’s eyes.
• If the individual has misaligned eyes (eyes that don’t work together adequately), uncomfortable distortions can occur prompting them to avoid looking at an individual’s face. Misaligned eyes, which are typically not recognized by an untrained professional or without a neuro-vision exam, can also cause challenges with reading, eye-hand coordination, balance and/or depth perception. Click here for a questionnaire provided by a neuro-vision clinic.
• Individuals who have experienced abuse have often learned that it is safer to not look someone in the eyes.
• Intuitive, empathic individuals may avoid eye contact because they “know everything there is to know about the person, and feel it in their own body”. (I originally learned about this from a 17 year old student who explained this to me with those words.) The answer to the next question offers a strategy for this.

If it is still deemed appropriate to teach eye contact you can suggest that the individual make brief, but regular or occasional visual contact with the individual’s face, possibly looking at the eyebrows instead of the eyes.

Q:  How do I tune down how sensitive I can be?
A:  Part of this answer is energetic, part of it is how you think about things.

• You don’t need all the possible information to know how to respond, so bring in less.
• Turn down your senses just like you turn down the volume of the podcast or music that you are listening to.
• Understand that it is not your job to take care of everyone, or to ‘save the world’.
• Practice energy modulation and drain your receptacle. (Listen to this short clip to learn how.)
• Practice radical acceptance for having this gift.

Q:  I’m wondering how autism (ASD) and ADHD may be reflecting a more evolved state.
A:  The theory that I offer here is not based on research or data, yet I have heard it discussed by others. I believe the increase in the number of folks with ASD or ADHD may be related to the fact that they are neurologically more sensitive to their environment. We know that these folks tend to be Sensitives. It makes sense that if they are highly attuned to their 5 senses, then they are also sensitive to various factors in our environment. This includes a hyper-reactivity to sensory input as well as various chemicals, additives, and drugs in our food, air and water. All of this can lead to medical conditions as well as neurological over-stimulation leading to meltdowns and other difficulties.

There are also benefits with these heightened awarenesses. These individuals at their core often have a very evolved awareness of Oneness. They seem to have a clearer sense of peace, goodness, and compassion for others and are more in touch with our similarities than our differences. They have a very clear sense of right vs wrong and are often quite frustrated with the state of the world. Hence, I’m very pleased that their numbers appear to be increasing as we need citizens who are more prone to bringing light, goodness, and compassion to our systems as well as enlightened relationships with each other.

Hans Asperger said, “It seems that for success, in science or art, a dash of autism is essential. For success the necessary ingredients may be an ability to turn away from the everyday world, from the simple practical, an ability to rethink a subject with originality so as to create in new untrodden ways.”

And as stated by Albert Einstein, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

I talk to a lot of people – friends, colleagues, and clients – and I watch the patterns of conversation. Over the last few months, we have talked a lot about the shift away from social isolation toward finding ease in returning to a more active way of life (while maintaining masks, hygiene, and proper distancing as recommended by the CDC). Initially, these conversations were to provide preparation for when that time would come.

Recently, more adults have received their COVID-19 vaccines, and students and staff have returned to school. These conversations have now taken on more of a timely need and an urgency.

Not surprisingly, a number of people are delighted to return to activities and events that are more reminiscent of times pre-pandemic. Others have expressed that they have felt quite comfortable with some, or many, aspects of the life that they have experienced over this last year and are struggling to make the shift.

This article is written for this latter group. If you are one of these people who looks back at this last year with a partial or complete thought of: please don’t mess with me now! then this article is for you. If you have always (or are now) struggling with general anxiety or social anxiety, this is for you. If you are not personally resonating with this concept, I still encourage you to read it so you can better understand your students, colleagues, friends, and family members. I’ve also included some tips to help you or them to venture out.

WHAT WE ARE EXPERIENCING

No two people are the same so not everyone will describe it the same way, but here is what I’ve been hearing, and it may not be what you expect. What you probably think is that folks are scared of contracting COVID-19, but actually most people do NOT quote their concern of developing COVID as their primary reason for their reluctance to venture back to activities.

Actually, what I find is that many folks are Sensitives (highly attuned to one or more of the five senses) and there is only so much that they feel that they can take in at any given time. This has been a very stressful year with changes in school and work routines, and social and political changes and conflicts. Sensitives are not only dealing with their own experiences of the above, but are also feeling the emotions of the collective which includes their family, workspace or classroom (even on zoom), and society as a whole. There has been a lot to sort and process, all while a pandemic is occurring. Even if you have learned to function in your world, amidst the noise of sensory stimulation and strong emotions, this last year has struck Sensitives in two ways. First, there is more “noise” to process. Second, having to stay home has been a surprising gift to reduce it all.

Let me explain some of the less obvious reasons besides what was mentioned above. Sensitives usually have, or have had, issues with clothing. Society makes a joke about zooming without pants, but that is a welcome relief to many Sensitives. Even the ones who do put on pants feel more freedom to wear comfy clothes than if they were in their school or work settings. Have you heard, “These are my daytime pajamas”? Seriously, many people are wearing sweats or yoga clothes for work and school. As a personal observation I noticed by April 2020 that I couldn’t tolerate any clothing that I felt was binding. My irritability while wearing it was significant, and I realized that it was better to avoid these clothes. Relative calmness resulted.

Many students are reluctant to return to their school buildings. Some of these are kids with social insecurities. They feel that they often do the wrong things, and this has led to teasing and their own subsequent self-judgment. (Please realize that there are adults who experience the world similarly, often because this was their experience throughout their education.) When the world seems like, or has been, a scary place why would the individual want to willingly return?

Sensitives are doing all they can to process all that is happening within and around them. Their bandwidth for tolerating it all has narrowed from pre-pandemic times. They can’t tolerate the thought that they might have to now be in space (literally and energetically) with even more than what they are having to deal with in the confines of their home.

Some others have a history of difficulty with transitions from one activity to another. Others have a history of avoiding any novel activities unless they have a social story of what to expect. (See more on this below.)

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO RE-ENTRY

The individual might be ‘fearing’ losing the relative calmness, and/or may not want to tempt the fates of previous memories. But part of living this human experience is to adapt, or find equanimity (peace with what is), during the changes of life.

In a recent article, author Bufka said, “A few times in the past year I’ve thought about what it was like for my grandmother who was born in 1901, and all the changes that she saw over the course of her life. We’re having a compressed version of that….”

If we look at the developmental stages of life, this is exactly what each of us has been doing since we were born. We learned the ways of early childhood and without even realizing it we adapted into our adolescent years where we began to differentiate ourselves from our parents and our societal teachings. We questioned which of these teachings we wanted to maintain for ourselves, by our own choice. As we moved onward through adulthood, we made these same adaptations as we took on jobs, careers, and new friendships and family members. And through it all there were small and large crises to attend to as we learned how to experience the changes and challenges with the greatest ease. Like Bufka says, a lot is being condensed into what has only been a year of time, which is why some may be finding it so difficult to make the shift back into more traditional activities (even with masks, distancing and washing).

RE-ENTRY STRATEGIES

You don’t have to return to your full pre-pandemic lifestyle. Consider taking it one piece or aspect at a time.

Increase your bandwidth of tolerance by practicing good self-care strategies:

• Adequate rest
• Good nutrition and hydration
• Movement
• Feed your spirit and/or your creative aspects
  • Meditate, pray or daydream
  • Practice your passions and try a new creative art
  • Take time to be in nature
  • Stay connected with friends and loved ones (even if virtually)
• Decrease sensory input when and where possible

Identify the gap and create scaffolding to bridge it:

• Create and provide social stories for yourself or your loved one. One of the reasons why new experiences feel so daunting is because we don’t know what it will look like. Identify and describe what you will most likely expect.
• Practice expanding your comfort level energetically and socially for preparation of going back to work, school etc. Since some individuals seem quite comfortable in their current milieu, they might need a significant amount of coaxing. Be sure to meet these individuals where they are. Ridiculing or shaming will NOT help your cause. Identify the small steps that will help them move comfortably from their desire to stay only indoors to engaging in-person once again: for instance, go outside with a mask; next, take a walk down the block with significant distances from others; then walk in public places and learn to move away from others in a calm, efficient manner that doesn’t attract unnecessary attention. Or, take rides in the family car and return to the house; take a ride and go to a public place, then return; take a ride to a specified place after a social story has been created, discussed and practiced.
• What space do you need for yourself? Can you create it? Role play with a trusted other, or in your mind, how to keep distance, how to ask for another to mask, or what it will look like and feel like to walk away if that is needed for optimal safety. Remember that you control many aspects of your experience.

Practice your previous skills that have been lost during this year away from more traditional routines. Never had those skills? Then this is an awesome time to learn! Find a trusted other, self-help book or professional to guide you through the process with role playing, social stories, and identifying the baby steps to move from present situation to desired participation.

As you approach re-entry, remember that though sometimes different seems uncomfortable or even daunting, it’s only different, not bad or dangerous. Use your strategies to control the narrative when possible, and to adapt your response when needed.

I now offer you this humorous video by The Holderness Family that you might find depicts the inner narrative of the reluctant participants in your life.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

“So called ‘late-bloomers’ get a bad rap. Sometimes the people with the greatest potential often take the longest to find their path because their sensitivity is a double edged sword – it lives at the heart of their brilliance, but it also makes them more susceptible to life’s pains. Good thing we aren’t being penalized for handing in our purpose late. The soul doesn’t know a thing about deadlines.”  Jeff Brown

When many parents bring their kids to see me, we discuss their children’s unique and wonderful traits. Yet many of these children are challenged to live their magnificence in the educational system in which they are provided. As a result, their parents, doctors, teachers, and others label them and sometimes even chastise or shame them for “not fitting in”. This experience often burdens these children for years after they have left their education behind. (I know because I often meet them as adults.)

The lucky ones will remember their gifts in these later years, and begin to feel comfortable and confident in their skin. As their confidence increases, so does their self-esteem. Suddenly these individuals “find themselves” and begin to experience successes – socially, professionally, personally. Society often describes them as late bloomers.

Wikipedia defines a late bloomer as a person whose talents or capabilities are not visible to others until later than usual.I’m glad that so many of these individuals are ultimately recognized as late bloomers, but why do they need to wait?

The number of kids being diagnosed on the autism spectrum or with ADHD or anxiety has increased significantly over the last decades. Many are questioning why this is, and I’m sure there is value in asking that question. But there is another question that needs to be addressed now: WITH SO MANY KIDS BEING RECOGNIZED OR DIAGNOSED, IS IT STILL TO BE ASSUMED THAT THEY ARE THE ERROR THAT NEEDS TO BE CORRECTED?

My goal with the students that I meet is to help them to identify, accept and honor their gifts, as well as to minimize the challenges that they experience. But it shouldn’t just be their responsibility to do the changing, and their true gifts shouldn’t have to wait to be recognized until they are AWAY from the system that pigeon holes them. It’s time that we do more to change our systems to better accommodate the changing child(ren).

One way is to recognize and honor the multiple intelligences as identified by psychologist Howard Gardner. When we accept that there are more ways to be intelligent than the traditional school models of verbal-linguistic and logical-mathematical, we provide an opportunity for more learners to soar. Here are the abilities that Gardner identified:

• Verbal-linguistic (words, language, reading, writing, telling stories, memorizing; this is measured in Verbal IQ assessments)
• Logical-mathematical (logic, abstractions, reasoning, numbers, critical thinking)
• Musical-rhythmic and harmonic (sensitivity to sounds, rhythms, tones, music)
• Visual-spatial (spatial judgment and the ability to visualize with the mind’s eye)
• Bodily-kinesthetic (control of one’s bodily motions, capacity to handle objects skillfully, sense of timing; includes sports, dance, acting, and making things)
• Interpersonal (sensitivity of other’s moods, ability to cooperate as part of a group)
• Intrapersonal (introspective and self-reflective capacities)
• Naturalistic (ability to recognize flora and fauna and to be able to relate information to one’s natural surroundings)
• Existential/Moral (though Gardner did not wish to include spiritual intelligence, he called it existential, and it’s best recognized as a source of guidance)

The concept of multiple intelligences is not new in the field of education. Educators have known about the prevalence of these multiple intelligences for decades, and we were encouraged to remember that some children learn differently. But it was assumed that the verbal-linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligences were the most prevalent and other types were in the minority. As a result, most teachers added some educational delivery or assessment methods to meet the minority’s needs, but it typically was only occasionally.

I’m not convinced that these kids are still the minority. (I would love to see some data on this). Regardless, I believe it’s time to change our educational system to further recognize these multiple intelligences and to more equitably provide educational delivery and assessment for all, with the addition of explicit social instruction.

Regardless of your political beliefs, our society seems to be focused on change – of financial systems, rights, and so much more.  How we perceive these kids and how we educate them should be one more.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Are the generations evolving?

Who are these young people who are changing paradigms?

I’m technically part of the Baby Boomer generation. As teens and young adults many of us were called hippies. Though I was aware of hippies during my teen years and wore a few hippie-type outfits (although a true hippie would have scoffed), I know I was not a hippie. But I did agree with many of our generation’s mottos, particularly: “Question authority”, and “Make love, not war”. We were very proud of ourselves for seeing the world differently, and not bowing to the establishment’s pre-conceived notions. We really believed things would be different and that we were the ones to make that happen.

Fast-forward to the subsequent generations. The Center for Generational Kinetics believes that “generations are not cute stories or catchy memes, but groupings of people who help us to see them and the world differently – and more clearly. They make their mark on society and history.” According to the Center:

• Baby Boomers were born 1946-1964
• Gen X was born 1965 to 1976
• Millenials (also called Gen Y) are currently the largest group of employees and consumers and were born 1977 to 1995
• Gen Z was born 1996 to the present.This group is recognized by the fact that 9/11 has always been a memory to them.

Unfortunately, Gen Z seems to have another tragedy in common as well. As I listen to today’s children and teens, one key component of their life is that they all have been affected by the 1999 mass shooting at Columbine High School. These students’ school experiences have not only included annual tornado and fire drills, but intruder drills as well.

WHEN CONVENTION MEETS METAPHYSICS

Since the Millenials are identified as the largest group born to the previously largest population – the Baby Boomers, it seems apparent to me now that many of those hippies of generations past were likely the early waves of Indigos (see box for additional information).

I have been referring to the amazing students who organized the March for Our Lives as Indigos. I now believe that this name is not sufficient for this amazing group of youth. This new group has the same compassion and empathy as the Crystals (see box), coupled with the fire of the Indigos, and the desire for societal change that was initiated by the hippies. This new group also has stamina, persistence, and of no minimal importance, a superb ability to connect with each other. They are the full package, and they are getting it done!

An example: I spoke with an 8th grader (from Connecticut) in Washington DC the day after the March For Our Lives. We were all in line to visit the Holocaust Museum in DC. We noticed in conversation that she demonstrated maturity far greater than her years (we assumed she was a high school senior or early college student). She was eloquent, articulate, and passionate. She told us: You think my generation just sits on our phones, but we use these phones to connect with each other and to communicate. This is why in only 40 days there were 800+sister marches across the US and the world, including the continents Canada, Africa, Europe, Australia, and Asia. Those numbers speak to the ability of social media and the power of these kids.

A further example is her explanation of why she was in line to enter the Holocaust Museum. Although only 14, she realizes that those with first hand memories and knowledge of the Holocaust are nearly gone. She has decided that she should experience the knowledge so that the lessons are not forgotten!

This was not the only type of communication that was happening. I felt it at the march, and I’ve talked to others who participated in various marches, or who watched them on TV. We could feel the palpable connections that were being made between each of us, and with the speakers. We were each connecting to each other around a common theme. We were experiencing Oneness – across a crowd, across the airwaves of television, across hundreds of thousands of people, and across vast distances.

EMBRACE CHANGE

The oneness that we experienced at the march is just one example of what these Star Children (see box) can offer us. There is no coincidence that many of these kids’ grandparents are the baby boomers, creating a generational bookend for these amazing children. We thought WE invented the word change. Seems that THEY are the change we have been waiting for.

And with this recognition comes the potential for a new way of looking at this amazing young generation. Many of the current paradigms and systems that we have may actually be inappropriate for them. For instance, I’ve noticed when working with the children who have Crystal characteristics that the trends of parenting and guidance seem different. The parents’ and teachers’ roles have traditionally been to teach the kids in the ways of the world, but things seem different with this new generation. They have a much stronger sense of self. They are not afraid to have a different opinion as if they know its importance in creating change. As I work with families I observe how the children and teens are frequently teaching the parents a new way of being, of understanding, and of relating.

Be cognizant that it might be time for teachers and parents to take on new roles. I often tell kids that they (the child) have very important information, and new methods of inter-relating. Yet their parents know best the ways of “this” world and “this” society. The kids are here to create and guide us through massive changes, while adults can mentor the youth to navigate the existing currents.

A new shift may be at hand. If the adults sitting in power positions aren’t going to adequately help our youth to navigate our society towards the changes that they are here to develop (peace, oneness, compassion, etc) then they will go around us. The kids seem to have the stamina to play the long game, though it needn’t take long. The process may feel harder for adults who traditionally practice resistance to change. So please, if you are a baby boomer (or member of any other generation) I encourage you to embrace the change that is upon us with the memory that THESE CHANGES ARE EXACTLY WHAT WE WANTED!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doreen Virtue, a teacher of metaphysics, has identified the following groups:

• Indigos, born 1975 to 1995, have a masculine energy, with warrior traits of willfulness and natural leadership. They are often sensitive to chemicals, including their own body chemistry. Because of their anger and angst, they need outlets for their great energy, and often result in an ADHD diagnosis. As a group they hope to rid the planet of corruption and greed, and usher in cooperation and integrity. I describe them this way: I know I’m here for a purpose. I know that the way we treat each other and our Earth is supposed to change. I’m tired of waiting. Let’s get on with it!
• Crystals, born 1995 to 2015, have a feminine energy – calm, sweet, and quiet. They are often so quiet that they are diagnosed with autism or Aspergers. Crystals prefer to communicate telepathically or through music to convey their deep and complex feelings. They are often even more sensitive to chemicals than Indigos.
• Rainbows, born 2012 and later, have a perfectly balanced male and female energy. They are wise and serene with a greater recognition of the collective consciousness. Like indigos and crystals, they are psychic and can read people’s feelings. Whatever loving thoughts, feelings, and actions are sent to them are magnified and returned a hundred-fold.
• The term Star Children can cumulatively describe all these types of children, and can also refer to those who sense a connection to other worlds. Star Children are seen as having the abilities to tackle issues in non-traditional and unconventional ways. Their skills often include: telepathy, pre-cognition, telekinesis, remote viewing, intuition, energy healing, and channeling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs has always fascinated me. The premise is that you must have your Physiological needs (food, water, breath, sleep), and your safety needs (employment, health, prosperity) met before you have the ability to adequately experience Love/belonging (friendship, family). Once these three aspects of the hierarchy have been attained you can reach Esteem (confidence, achievement, respect of and by others, self-esteem), and ultimately Self-actualization (morality, creativity, spontaneity, life’s meaning). Maslow believes everyone seeks self-actualization though it may not always be achieved.

Educators recognize that basic needs must be met for effective education to take place, and that the brain’s mechanism for protection (the amygdala) decreases learning in a hungry, worried or frightened child. To approach this problem systemically many districts are now creating trauma-informed schools, which provide a layered approach for safety and healing. (TraumaAwareSchools.org) These trauma-informed schools are appropriate for all socio-economic areas and also support neuro-sensitives who deal with the continuous “little t” traumas of sensory overload.

Chakras

The seven major chakras:

1^st – the Root chakra is at the base of your torso. It is your connection to your tribe and relates to security, abandonment by the group, and physical survival.

2^nd – the Sacral or abdominal chakra relates to your relationships with family and others, and financial security.

3^rd – the Solar plexus chakra is just above the navel. This chakra deals with your relationship with yourself: personal power, honoring the self, etc.

4^th – the Heart chakra is in the center of your chest. It is your connection to love – for self and others.

5^th – the Throat chakra is in the front of your neck and deals with your ability to speak your truth. It also relates to will. (Do you yield your power too willingly to others? Do you adequately support your own needs? Do you exert your power too strongly?)

6^th – the Third Eye chakra is located between and just above your eyes in the center of your forehead. This chakra is identified as your connection to intuition and introspection.

7^th – the Crown chakra is located at the top of your head and connects you to that which you call the Divine.

If you are interested in learning more about chakras, there are numerous books and websites.

Chakras and Maslow’s Hierarchy

As a student of metaphysics I began to see how understanding chakras could better explain neuro-sensitives, and that when the chakras are lined up to correspond with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs we see that:

Self-Actualization = Heart chakra (4^th) thru Crown chakra (7^th)

Esteem = Solar Plexus (3^rd)

Belonging = Sacral (2^nd)

Physiological & Safety = Root (1^st)

From a chakra perspective neuro-typicals begin more grounded in their bodies. They seem to more easily inhabit their 1^st through 3^rd chakras and then develop upwards through the chakras developing their compassion for others and their intuition. As preschoolers they are often seen moving about their environment with ease. They live in their bodies. As teens or adults they seek to experience being out-of-body, often through meditation, as they long for the Oneness that they can feel while in that state.

Neuro-sensitives seem to live primarily from the upper chakras. Their relationship with others is empathic (4^th) and often telepathic (6^th). They are more able to experience and live in Oneness (7^th). They are less likely to see the separateness that many neuro-typicals see in the ‘other’. As a result neuro-sensitives rarely sit in judgment of another. In fact, this honesty (5^th) often gets them in trouble with others. They see a trait, and they speak it, without judgment. (“Mommy, that man is fat”, is not a judgment. It is a statement of observation.) This creates difficulties in effectively connecting with others (2^nd). They also have a more complex association with their body (1^st) since it often has soft muscle tone, depth-perception challenges, and a clear recognition of others’ energy patterns and emotions without realizing that they are not their own.

A succinct chakra description of a neuro-sensitive’s experience is that they have dense, uncomfortable lower chakras because:

• The Root is not grounded.
• The Sacral doesn’t distinguish self from others; they absorb others’ energies; they are often a mirror of others; they attempt to regulate others’ emotions; and have poor energy boundaries.
• The Solar Plexus can’t digest life issues (gut), and may have a weak sense of personal identity.
• This results in an amazing sense of love (Heart), and connectedness to all of humanity (Heart, Third Eye and Crown), but less connection to the physical body and a decreased access to being grounded.

For me it begs the metaphysical question: Are there a larger number of neuro-sensitives who tend toward oneness, compassion, empathy, and energy awareness, to off-set the vast numbers of individuals who still see the world in terms of separateness (me vs. other)? And is it any wonder that neuro-sensitives struggle to adapt to our educational, communication and employment systems?

You can help them to have an easier time:

• Understand and accept them
• Help them better integrate with their physical body (i.e. Sensory motor integration)
• Though there are meltdowns, anger, frustration, anxiety and discomfort, the body is not the enemy
• Minimize sensory input and overload
• Teach them how they are separate from others
• Allow processing and response time
• Appropriate nutrition (they may not digest and metabolize everything)
• Teach grounding, relaxation and energy modulation
• Learning strategies
• Social skills
• Explicit instruction

Focus on neuro-sensitives’ inherent gifts instead of on their challenges. Find ways to minimize their difficulties to ease their experiences. Reframe their world so that they too can experience the incredible gifts that they bring.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Recent statistics indicate that 1 in 68 children are on the autism spectrum; however autistics are not the only ones who experience sensory overload.

It is very likely that you know someone professionally, in your social group, or in your family who is neuro-sensitive. Sensitives can be autistic or neuro-typical (without autism). Over the years in my practice I have seen many children and adults who are neuro-sensitive. As their prevalence increases, so does their sensory awareness and responsiveness.

There is much speculation as to why there are more individuals who experience the world in this way. It could be evolutionary, neurological or the additives, drugs and pesticides in our food network.

Regardless of the cause, with the increasing number of individuals affected, there is a responsibility to learn how to best support Sensitives. There are a number of traditional approaches provided by occupational therapists, behaviorists, and speech and language therapists. There are also less-conventional approaches. I wrote about these in Setting Boundaries and Energy Cleansing.

You are encouraged to increase your awareness of the many situations that can create difficulties for the neuro-sensitives in your life so that you can support that individual or help to bring about systems change.

SCHOOLS

Kids spend the majority of their day in these environments for twelve or more years. We can reduce their sensory impact and ease their experiences.

LIGHT SENSITIVITY: Fluorescent lighting creates visual and auditory challenges. Highly sensitive individuals are bothered by the pulsations that fluorescents emit, as well as the sound from light ballasts. Light sensitivity can also affect reading: ease, accuracy, memory, concentration, and comprehension. Using natural or incandescent lighting in schools and at home can increase your child’s relaxation, reading skills, and even their willingness to do homework.

RECESS AND PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Weak muscle tone and poor coordination increase the likelihood that sports and team activities may not be a positive experience. Loud echoing sounds, close proximity and lack of structure add additional difficulties. Encourage involvement in individual sports like swimming, bowling, tennis, golf, track, cross-country and martial arts.

SOCIAL: Educator Richard LaVoie explains that everything in school, and life, is a social decision. Social situations are typically not easy for Sensitives: should they attend to the words, the tone, the body language, or the energy of the speaker? These are rarely congruent. To assist, provide explicit instructions for nearly every social scenario. It’s not uncommon for them to fail to generalize one situation to another. For assistance, do an internet or book search for “social stories”.

MEDICAL

To avoid triggering an exaggerated startle response, explain the action and its purpose before physical contact, or when approaching with a medical instrument. Also, anatomical pictures trigger some Sensitives.

DOCTOR OFFICES: Try to arrive on time, ask to be brought into an exam room quickly, and to be seen promptly to avoid anxious waits, an overly stimulating waiting area, and possible meltdowns.

HOSPITALS: Imagine this scenario: A medical concern; agitation; bright fluorescent lighting; naked under the irritating fabric of an uncomfortable gown; sounds; communication challenges; lack of medical knowledge; presumed loss of rights; fear of stimming (self-soothing) in public; lack of privacy for solitude or toileting. Neuro-sensitives will require a great deal of support in these environments.

ENTERTAINMENT

Encourage social activities. Movies, bowling and even cruises are now offering autism/sensory-friendly options.

MOVIES/THEATER: Loud volume, darkness, and the expectations for silence and for sitting still for periods of time can seem impossible – and are likely to lead to meltdowns or “inappropriate behaviors”.

RESTAURANTS: With planning and instruction, the potential difficulties of too many menu options, the inability to sit still, and conversation challenges with wait staff can be made successful.

MALLS AND LARGE VENUES: Large expanses of space can make a neuro-sensitive unaware of their body and lose their sense of self. The emotions and energy of other people, bright lighting, fragrances, and temperature changes outside the different stores are physically uncomfortable and overwhelming to their senses.

EMOTIONS: Even exuberance and joy can over-stimulate their system.

Neuro-sensitives have a highly aroused nervous system and lack the ability to process the information from their bodies and their environment without triggering an over-reactive fight-or-flight response. It is imperative to remember that any subsequent behavioral outbursts are a reaction to their sensory system overload. These meltdowns are not the equivalent of tantrums.

Benjamin Franklin said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Teaching neuro-sensitives a variety of coping skills and encouraging them to use these strategies is extremely beneficial. When possible take the initiative to modify their surroundings by assessing the potential impact of the five senses, energy awareness, and empathy, as well as expectations for social interaction and communication.

Doing so for your neuro-sensitives will ease the situation and minimize or avoid meltdowns or discomfort.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

If you have been reading my articles, you already know the terms Indigo, Crystal and Star Children. These children (and adults) whose traits include being wise, intuitive and caring, often seem like old souls. I also recognize their growing multi-dimensional qualities. They know the importance of peace, love, acceptance, and unity for all beings – human and otherwise – and for Earth herself.

Being multi-dimensional means being aware of dimensions that many others are not yet aware. One dimension that is recognized is the energy within and around us. Perceiving this energy as thought, images or sounds, and accessing information from your inner and outer environment, including across time and space, brings a wider range of knowledge.

What happens if you are one-dimensional, with minimal to no awareness of the additional information, or even its availability, and your child or student is multi-dimensional? I’m noting in my practice that these children realize that they can access more knowledge and subconsciously believe they must take care of their parent, constantly monitoring the adult’s comfort levels and feeling immense responsibility for the well-being of their parent. This is not a healthy situation for the child, the parent, or the relationship.

Does your child act like he or she needs to take care of you? This pattern can be changed.  

I have had the privilege of counseling children and pre-teens that attend sessions with their parents. I have observed when the child knows s/he accesses more information than the parent, and so believes that s/he knows more. While this may be true in regards to multi-dimensional information and existential knowledge, it is important for these families to remember and discuss together that parents still have the benefit of “years on Earth”. This means that the parent has very important information for the multi-dimensional children in regard to day-to-day life skills. Please remember parents and teachers: though you are working with incredibly smart individuals, multi-dimensional children are not mini-adults. Similar to gifted children whose knowledge base is above age level, their emotional and age-related skills are not as developed. Children must be children.

Explain to your multi-dimensional child that you can take care of yourself. Here’s an example of this conversation: (Incidentally, these are not non-verbal children, but they don’t have familiarity with words for these types of dialogues, so they primarily respond with facial and body language.)

Judy: I notice how you keep checking on Mom to be sure that she is doing okay.

Child: (nods yes)

J: You know you and I often talk about things that your mom doesn’t seem to understand.

C: (nods)

J: That’s okay. Your mom has information about other things.

C: (looks at me questioningly)

J: There are so many things happening with friends and school and stuff that you really don’t understand. Right?

C: (nods yes emphatically)

J: These are things that I know about, but so do your mom and dad, and your teachers, and other adults. Trust them, just like you trust me.

C: (understands)

J: There are many things that you know about that the adults don’t yet, and there will be times for you to explain it to us. There are also many things that we know about and you don’t. This is our job. And it’s all okay. Here’s another really important thing: Mom’s job is to take care of herself, not you taking care of Mom.

C: (looks over at mom with deep eyes that question if this will work)

Parent: (confidently looks back) Yes, I can take care of myself. You don’t need to do this.

J: Shall we begin to let this change happen? Won’t it feel good?

C: (Nods emphatically)

Periodically the child may look back to check on mom, but I recognize it as it occurs and assure them mom is okay. Mom confirms. Later I point out when the child does not check so I can reinforce that behavior.

Though your child has multi-dimensional awareness, s/he will often require explicit instruction to understand how to navigate social and other situations. Teachers and parents can appropriately guide multi-dimensional children while still acknowledging their gifts.

It is imperative that we learn to recognize the gifts that both groups – one-dimensional and multi-dimensional – can impart to the other, and to the whole. The multi-dimensional share the big picture, remind us of what’s true, and show us what we as individuals and society can attain. In turn, those who are single-dimensional can provide loving, protective support for the multi-dimensional to develop their natural gifts and to provide social skills for the world that they are trying to navigate.

We have an opportunity to listen to those who live multi-dimensionally and learn what they can offer to us now, and for our future. Especially when they are in adulthood, it is likely that those with multi-dimensional abilities will guide us to never-before thinking that can deliver us from many of our current problems, and into a world of peace, love and oneness.

Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.